I'm pretty sure all of us have given up on any boomer giving us anything anyway
Lucky for me my parents were both "I didn't save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I'm older", so I don't have to suffer through this.
“we set our money on fire and voted for trump. good luck” - boomers
“we love voting for trump despite being poor as fuck because we are complete morons that have been brainwashed by andrew tate and joe rogan clips on tiktok” -gen z men
class issue, not age issue. though i do understand getting frustrated at people who fall for the grift
You guys are getting a good luck?
More like .... "Boomers decide to watch and accelerate the burning of the world because they're going to die soon anyway"
I want my parents to enjoy the money they worked their entire life for. I believe work allows to live, and not the contrary where you live to work. I would 10000x rather my parents enjoy the effort they put for their money instead of dying of exhaustion without being able to use their money
Posting this as infuriating seems grossly entitled. Many of us in these younger generations won't have excess to give to the next generation, why should we feel that is owed to us?
You may be right, but at the same time, you getting an inheritance makes it a lot easier for your kids to get one too some day.
We won't have it directly because the boomers have decided consistently across the decades to leave younger generations with nothing. This is just the latest version of that, except now they're doing it directly to their own children and yeah, it can smart. It's valid to express frustration at a generation that was handed everything, is leaving nothing, and now they're doing it in a more personal way.
Every other generation before and after them seem to be on the same page as far as accumulating enough to leave for the next generation so they can have better lives than you had. But not the Boomers, never them. They're going to get theirs and they deserve to have ALL of it. The next gen can earn their own way just like they had to, after all. Even though they voted away all opportunities to do that, and passing along generational wealth has always been a big key to any kind of success.
My grandpa wants to go to space in his lifetime, but doesn't want to spend everything he's been saving for my us. I'm like...dude. You worked your ass off all this time. Go to fucking space. I think it'd be badass.
Dying happy and accomplishing your dreams is much better than any amount of money because money is just a number. I have a good job and family and enough money that I don't really have to think before buying something (even though for most i still do because I don't like wasting and impulsiveness is a bad thing). I've seen and heard way to many stories of people delaying their retirement by "just one more year" and that ends up the year that they either get very ill, hurt themselves or just plain die, always with a huge pile of money. Money also shouldn't be spent when old, because you cant enjoy it to the same degree
Sure and that's fine, but then we need to stop as a society assuming that generational wealth is a thing, and that parents will help their children. Parents do not help with down payments like they used to, or with other major life events, and so we need to assume everyone is starting from zero
What on earth are you talking about? Generational wealth is not a binary thing. There are people rich enough to pass their fortune to their kids and then there are ones who can't. That's how it has always been and that's how it's always going to be.
Well, that really depends on the society. I don’t live in one that makes such assumptions. It feels a little bit entitled to assume something like that, but that could also just be cultural differences between developed and non-developed countries. The former have social security and safety nets, rendering an inheritance less important and much less prominent. Feels like the only inheritance worth even thinking about is if you have millions in excess of what you need for living, and in developed countries that is very much less prominent than in developing countries
The big caveat to this is if it is a lot of money. If it more than a few million it should be passed down and someone can live off of interest and some good investments.
I know a guy who technically doesn't have to work at all because his family has been passing down a huge amount of money though the generations. I guess his great great grandfather struck it rich and now everyone is set. How the fortune is maintained is though legal stuff tied to the money in the form of wills. Basically it prohibits crazy spending and sets rules.
My dad - who was an amazingly racist conspiracy theorist - gave all his money to 2 redhead women he started fucking after divorcing the woman he married after my mom died.
He chose not to leave me anything because I called him out for using the "n" word any time he talked about African Americans.
I'm out $150k
He is out having a legacy. My kids will never know his name, story, or hate.
Edit: This comment was intended as a sarcastic way to say "Your father's awful parenting failed to turn you into an awful person", but it was both phrased poorly and in the event based on false assumptions. Read the replies. I'm leaving it up for context.
Well, at least he fathered a decent kid, it seems. I don't think it was his intention for you to turn out so decent, so I wouldn't give him credit for that, but I guess he did something right despite all his efforts.
No, some people just raise up to the task.
I hate this idea that parents "did something good" if they are pieces of shit but their kids turn out good. Especially if there is no evidence of it. Why people feel the need to do that is a mystery for me, like protecting the bad guy at any cost.
He didn't, though.
Foster Care, then they adopted me.
No this reasoning is flawed and used as an excuse for bad behavior. My father justified his alcoholism to himself by pointing out how independent all the kids turned out since he was useless, or how good we were with money because we could sense a scam from a young age as he was always trying to scam/manipulate us.
You can teach someone to cross the road by explaining the dangers and process to them, or you can teach them by driving enough cars into them that they either figure it out themselves (and carry the scars forever) or die. That doesn't make you a good teacher
Congratulations on being a decent person even though your role model was not. It's hard to break that cycle.
Congrats I guess? You sound hateful and bitter as fuck
Nah.
Not sure why you'd say that, but you can think what you want.
Happy holidays!
*without
When my grandparents passed away they left my boomer mother a fully paid off duplex...
Which she immediately reverse mortgaged to fund her retirement because she has nothing.
A house my grandmother designed, and great grandmother financed and built, where 4 generations of my family lived and literally died, will be pissed into the wind when my mother dies.
Watched my mom work her ass off to raise me and save everything she could for retirement. She got to do some fun things, but not enough. I'm glad she had good insurance and a little money saved for when she got sick. I inherited a house with a mortgage, taxes, insurance, and repairs that are bleeding me dry and I'm pulling money out of my retirement to cover it. I'm thankful that it's given my son a decent place to live for the last year and i hope to break even when we sell it. I'm fine with that. I didn't earn it. I didn't take care of her for money. If you're only helping your family because you want money, you suck and they're probably better off without you.
First of all, my parents have never had much if ever at all in the way of savings. Tbh not sure what's going to happen when they aren't going to be able to work anymore.
But I'm with you. I absolutely never understood why people ever feel like they are entitled to their parents money. Your parents earned that, not you. If my parents were never able to leave me a dime, I wouldn't give a shit. Even if they had a million dollars. I didn't earn that. I have no right to someone else's money.
I would feel different in scenarios where we are talking about a minor. If a 12 year old becomes orphaned, then yes, they should 100% be entitled to their parents' funds.
But why in the everliving fuck do people as adults feel entitled to money that is not theirs and they didn't earn? Incredibly bizarre concept to me.
But I’m with you. I absolutely never understood why people ever feel like they are entitled to their parents money. Your parents earned that, not you.
I think the biggest implication here is that they didn't earn it entirely. That they at least inherited something from their parents. Which would have given them a leg up and they refuse to pay it forward.
Obviously that's not the case for everyone. For instance, my entire family was poor as far back as I am aware of. None of them had shit or got shit or were able to have a good retirement. So obviously I don't expect anything from them.
I know poor and wealthy people in every generation. Why aren't we blaming the banks for the 08 crash, the politicians for taking away almost every social service and trying to take away more, and the psychopath CEOs who care about their dick measuring contests every quarter? This generational divide obscures the real issues.
Somehow, I grew up in the one neighborhood in the city that hasn't had a spike in value in the last couple of decades. My mom refuses to move out to a retirement community (at this point she would need assisted living). She likes to talk about improving the property and what color she should paint the upstairs. Watches flipper shows all day.
I don't have the heart to tell her that I have no interest in inheriting the property and that it will be a huge burden to liquidate all of the 'antiques' she has gathered over the last 80 years that now stink of cat piss and many colors of mold.
She's always been there for me in my darkest hours, though, and so has that shit mid century ranch.
I'll still let her win at Wheel of Fortune, as long as she can remember my name.
You're a good kid.
Who the fuck downvotes this?
I’ll still let her win at Wheel of Fortune, as long as she can remember my name.
And then, after that, it's Zeff's turn to get the free spins.
The people who are cool with this going "why shouldn't my parents enjoy what they made, why would you want anything you didn't work for?" are sort of missing the point. The real phrasing, that they probably would agree with, is "why should I support my children and future generations, my enjoyment is more important than their survival and secured future"
If you really think that you should only get what you work for, give back every Christmas or birthday present or any gift you've gotten or are getting in the future immediately. Turn down any bonus you get at work. Hell start paving your own roads.
Supporting others, especially family, is a good human trait, and shouldn't be erroded.
I grew up in the boat of not ever expecting any type of inheritance. Then my dad remarried and it is a thing, and that discussion that makes me really uncomfortable. I am in the first camp. I don't feel any sense of ownership or entitlement to that money.
She wants to go on a fancy trip to Bali? Good for her.
New car? Awesome.
He raised me, that was his responsibility. He did a great job and that's all I needed.
I am sure there will be something left but I'm not hedging all of my bets on it. Work bonus stays with me, though.
I'm sorry if this is worded weirdly; my dad passed away two years ago and I am still getting used to the past tense.
I don't think rejecting Christmas gifts is on par with telling your parents not to enjoy themselves because you want their money when they die.
I'm going to spend my money and wealth as I see fit. I will not raise my children to bank on me dying before they turn 60 (realistically they're gonna have to deal with me for a long time) so they can inherit some sum of cash.
For context, I never expected any inheritance from either parent when they died. Neither did I get anything except for a pair of gloves.
My boomer dad: you probably won't get anything because I'm paying [i.e. using my retirement] to take care of my [100 year old] mother
Me: that's understandable
What's infuriating about this? Why the heck should I inherit something I haven't worked for? I've always told my parents and grandparents that dying with an empty bank balance is the ideal way to go. Hell, preferably be in debt.
It comes from a time where your whole family lived in the same house and the kids eventually take care of their parents. In todays system where people usually dont live with their parents for very long, it doesnt really make sense anymore. People need money long before they get to the age where their parents die. Getting a bunch of money at 30, to establish a life/family, is much more useful and long term impactful than getting it at 50-60. So inheritance is a flawed idea from the start.
Inheritance is a stepping stone to get out of poverty over generations. If the next generation can build upon it.
Inheritance from who? Your poor parents?
I feel like inheritance is more something that keeps the rich rich and not something that makes the poor not poor. In a sense, other people inheriting things is (a part of) what keeps poor families poor.
The family financial obligations have become obliterated in American society. It is no longer the case that parents are expected to help their adult children establish themselves in a home and it is no longer the expectation that adult children financially care for their parents.
The loss of an inheritance is part of that.
This apparently is a hard pill to swallow for some. They can't wrap there head around having to work hard to eventually relax and enjoy life.
This is a very salty topic. It seems many are pining for their inheritances.
I agree with OP. I have zero material expectations of my parents. But, I do expect they return that grace and don't use the past or possibility of inheritance to manipulate me. I'm very wary of codependence.
Exactly my thoughts too. Life’s meant to be lived. Hoarding assets to save for an uncertain future is counterproductive even in terms of economy at large, if one’s inclined to think that way.
It creates expectations that don’t seem natural, and then leads to disappointments and bitterness when life does not go as planned, as it never will.
But then again, I get wanting to make things better for your children. But at least for me, it seems less prone to pure chance and circumstance if the efforts went into building a more sustainable, inclusive and supportive country to live in. And enjoy the ride while it lasts, since your pain and suffering will reflect on your children, want it or not. If things are tight and you get stressed from that, it’s always going to affect everyone around you, often negatively. If, instead, you could relieve that stress by not saving more than you need as a buffer here and now, or for something like a house (I.e not for some abstract future that might never come, for your children who might not live that far, but are here now, with you), that’s probably going to be much better for everyone. Smiles generate smiles and it’s not a zero-sum game. Life well lived is one with smiles, not one with fragile, ephemeral value of some sort stored away with sweat and blood.
But of course if there’s already too much to use realistically, why not do that then. But that’s an entirely different discussion altogether, if we ever should have something like that.
Edit: there’s a distinction I failed to emphasis enough, between a realistic and very worthwhile buffer of saved value for unexpected situations, which everyone should of course have, and saving for no reason at all, other than just having excess that isn’t needed for anything, to maybe if one’s very lucky pass on down the line.
Saving assets and value isn’t bad. But saving it for no practical reason other than inheritance, takes that value out of circulation and makes everyone in your economy worse off. If that’s important to you. But more importantly, it often means a life less well lived, and often one full of stress, tiredness and one with less time actually spend with your family and close ones in general. Which is enormously more negative in impact than any amount of money in excess, or lack thereof, could ever have when you finally die.
"I got mine."
My dad just died destitute and my mother will probably have nothing when she passes. I’m ok with that, I am my own person. People complaining about losing out on inheritance are fucking spoiled brats. “ you spent the money you worked for? Boo hoo hoo, I wanted your money though “
Yes... That is their money. They should spend and enjoy it.
They also voted for Bush II's wars with money borrowed from a generation that couldn't vote yet.
I'm just thinking about my own experience, but my parents are blue collar Democrats, so no they didn't. They just worked hard their whole lives and are enjoying their well earned retirement.
Boomers are a large group of people, hence the name, from diversified backgrounds. I believe people are trying to start a generational war where we need a proper class war.
That is their money.
In 2022, 65% of people ages 65 to 74 had debt, up from 50% in 1989. In 2022, 53% of households headed by someone 75 or older had debt, compared to 32% in 1992.
In fairness, this article is pure bait. It neglected the rising cost of living for people on fixed incomes and treats these draw downs on savings as a frivolity, rather than a consequence of inflation on senior care and medical needs.
But liquidating household assets via instruments like reverse mortgages and loans against large savings accounts and pensions can mean saddling your children and grandchildren with big debts even after you're gone.
Yeah, the money is mostly spent on medical care, getting scammed and retirement homes. Capitalism is making sure all that money goes to the 1% before it ever gets to you.
Probably the rest of us won’t last much longer than them now anyway.
I wouldn't go that far, but I see little evidence that young people deserve it more.
Lemmy seems to be pretty mad about their allowance, basically. It's weird, usually the vibe is more that everyone else works at a FAANG.
Honestly, my mother, born 1961, received $250K in 2000 when my great grandparents passed. my grandmother, has always bought things for my mom: cars, car repairs, her insurance, grocery shopping, and a few vacations over the years.
My mother has not so much as ever taken me shopping, not even when I was a kid. My other parent, the broke one, bought us everything. My mom, did stretch her inheritance pretty far, but only because her parents helped her out with month to month stuff. It annoys me to no end.
She's spent the last 15 years convincing my grandmother, her mom, to spend it all. And she has. For me, two generations ago my great grandparents (second Gen immigrant) had accumulated over a million dollars in straight cash.
I'll get nothing. If my family actually had love there- if my mother actually took care of me and her other children, I wouldn't be mad, id understand. That's not how it went down. My mom spent every, has nothing but a new car left now, the last thing my grandmother bought her, the inheritance gone and she's now a part time babysitter, after not working 30 years. She was on disability too, this whole time, my entire youth, for get this- mental health. I got to therapy every week still to this day to address my childhood and continued struggles, the same as she did, but she got disability in the 90s when everyone could sign on easily it seems. Her whole life paid for.
I haven't spoken to her in closet to 7, 8 years now. I can't imagine my story is unique when it comes to the subject.
My husbands parents are the opposite of my mother, both types of people exist but it's infuriating to go through what I have with my family. To literally watch your "generational wealth" get flushed.
millennials may miss out
Love how that title makes it sound millennials are somehow to blame
I don't see that. To me it reads as guilt tripping the parents for wanting to spend the money they themselves earned.
Indeed, OP is a stupid take. For all the shit boomers pulled off with this planet, spending their own money is a good thing.
It is one thing if a kid's parents just does not have the means, but the article points out that some baby boomers (maybe more commonly in a the west?) can have tendencies to be spiteful toward people deemed less. Maybe this happens more so in WASP culture.
I'm personally of the belief that if I ever chose to have kids, that I would see it to the end that they felt supported, regardless of their age. The kids themselves didn't ask to be born.
A lot of cultures who have these values, I notice, have kids that thrive a lot more. I have some friends from east Asia, and they all were encouraged to be independent and pursue meaningful careers. Their parents support them intensely, and help with investments and other forms of support.
My biological father's family is Jewish (nonreligious). My first cousin is very successful and I know has been set up to have a meaningful career, because my aunt let her live at home during graduate school, and paid for her graduate degree in speech pathology. She will inherit the house she grew up in.
I grew up in WASP culture on my biological mother's side, and my mom has the attitude that she wants nothing to do with me, especially after I turned 18.
How? "Missing out" means you're the one who is negatively impacted. It also says and Gen Z. Not sure how that could be interpreted otherwise.
I was sexually/otherwise abused by my mother for most of my life. When I brought it up to family, I was basically told to shut up about it/“go to therapy.” They spent thousands torturing me in troubled teen facilities, and provided me with nothing for college (which I paid for with multiple jobs and sex work.)
I will never own a house. I spent almost two years after my divorce to just be able to afford an apartment. My family has never valued me - I will not give them the comfort they denied when it is the end. My entire life has been a hell.
My family tells me "write a book then I will read it" and I just keep thinking:
Assholes, maybe instead just listen to me when I tell my stories you want to ignore so badly.
They couldn't even be bothered to spend thousands on me though and more than once in my life I have just been dropped off at street corners with hopes that I would disappear from their lives.
It sucks. While I may not know you, I know similar pain and know it's never easy. I hope you find comforts in the little things around you.
You could tell them instead of writing it to us
No one should expect to inherit anything when their loved ones die.
The worst people are those that are too lazy to build something on their own, but sit around praying for their parents death so they can inherited and live an easy life.
My aunt talked her mom out of kitchen remodel because it's going to cost so much (that she'll get smaller ineritance then) while my grandmom, who already spends most of her time alone at home then can't even spend her savings to make her surroundings a bit nicer.
I was sitting in the room while my friend's dad was having a argument with his horrible dad. The horrible dad threatened to write him out of his will, and my friend's dad respond, "Why do you think I'd want 1/6th of fuck all anyway?"
I wouldn't be so blunt with my mother about things, but every time she talks about inheritance I encourage her to just spend the money on herself. Anything will be spilt between 7 kids overall (3 hers, 4 my late step dad). She is holding on to an expensive ring because my very well off, money hungry sister, has basically demanded it, so I'm working behind the scenes to try get her to sell it so she can invest in making her last few years that much easier.
Yeah, my parents go on regular vacations all over the world, have redone their kitchen THREE times in the last decade (along with every room of their entire 3000 sq ft house), and can't be bothered to help me out when I encounter a major expense.
I don't know what they think is going to happen when they are too old to take care of themselves, but I can barely afford to take care of my immediate family so there's no way in hell I could support them too. Hope they set aside some of those fat stacks of cash for a nursing home because my retirement plan is dying poor at my workdesk (or on the street if I become too old to work).
Minor suggestion. Try dying poor at your boss's desk. You have nutrients and minerals that can be extracted for our use, don't be a hog.
My parents worked hard all their lives and have had very little to show for it. As much as I didn’t realise it at the time, I never really wanted for anything, but I’m sure my parents skipped meals on occasion.
Now they’re retired they have a bit of money from state pension and superannuation funds, as well as a bit my mum inherited from her parents. It’s still not a lot, but they’re able to live in the comparative luxury they always deserved.
A couple of year back they splurged and took a trip to the UK, which had been on their bucket lists since before I was born. They seemed to feel like they had to explain why they were spending the money, and I reassured them that it was their money, not mine.
My wife and I are in good, stable jobs and we don’t need their cash. Let them enjoy themselves while they still can.
if the kid is struggling because they’re lazy
We're talking about 40 year olds.
And what a convenient excuse to call anyone struggling lazy. So many lazy people with full time jobs that don't pay enough to pay boomers their inflated rents. Must be drugs.
Obviously the circumstances matter and if the kid is struggling because they’re lazy or a drug addict
Trying to explain to a guy with chronic back pain that the relief he's seeking is self-indulgent and the time he's spending plotting the death of a CEO could be better spent building a new kind of online gambling website.
I’m all for the average retiree spending freely and enjoying what they earned. They spent a lifetime working; it’s their money. Inheritance issues create way too many family disputes.
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Those are the sort of parents I left in the past, I feel you with a lot of that.
As for the grandkids, feel free to use my excuse. "I can't afford them". (Partially because I have to support one of them, but also kids are freaking expensive). So they can whine about not having grandchildren all they want. Kids are now 800k+, who can do that?
not eveyone get inheritances. what we need is social safety nets and to collect taxes on wealth.
I mean, didn't they do the exact same thing with the planet?
To be fair, the silent generation is not guilt free on that
My mother was a wonderful person, poor, and a boomer. She never had anything handed to her. We need to stop shitting on specific generations (it's a distraction ) and target our hate towards the class divides between us instead.
"Fuck you, I got mine."
-Boomers on everything from pensions to affordable housing and education to inheritances to having a habitable planet to live on
The attitude you describe is, I believe, the result of capitalist and religious propaganda that reinforces individualism rather than collectivist and non-religious yet spiritual philosophies. Those like Hinduism, Confucianism, Zen and Toaism.
Not to sell any one in particular but the common thread in the East is a different perspective than a boss in the sky eternally judging each individual.
Even if you aren't religious, advertising will tell you you're a special, unique and seperate individual. Desiring to stand out as famous, beautiful, smart, funny, strong etc is just a trap but one desired by many. Unfortunately, to be above others, then others must be below you. To be rich, there must be poor.
An understanding of this force of balance shows that to minimise the extremes of poverty you must minimise the extremes of wealth.
The East sees our true self is the larger whole of which we as Humanity are a small part of. While your name may seperate you conceptually, none of us are separate from the air we breath or the stars we see. Nothing is seperate even though the mind feels and believes it is so. Are you really in control? Do you beat your heart? When you make a decision, do you first decide to decide?
I only say all this because, when one genuinely switches thinking this way, then naturally you want to be generous and caring towards all others because you see everything as yourself includeing all that is non human.
These philosophies are not the complete answer to our problems because many of these philosophies were born in China and, even though it's embedded in their culture, they are still struggling like everyone else. But a more modern widespread common understanding of the true nature of the situation may be beneficial.
please don’t buy so much junk food…why? because you have diabetes
This one hit too close to home. My mum has diabetes, dad is close to it, I can't get them to stop eating sweets
There’s an odd mentality that you just need to dose more insulin, no big deal, when eating poorly with diabetes. Understanding is sometimes the problem.
Here’s a better way to think about it in terms of body damage over time.
Think of sugar as fuel, because it is. When you have diabetes you lack the capacity to regulate the concentration and intensity of that fuel once you ingest it. You can add other things to the mix that can and will help (insulin and various oral agents) but the efficiency and immediacy of the inherent system simply isn’t there when you have diabetes.
Think of excess sugar in the blood as a caustic fuel that slowly (speed varies by individual as well as food consumed) burns out the vasculature (blood vessels) over time.
This burn out due to excess fuel is why nerves in the feet die. Neuropathy is the official name for the numbness and tingling in toes and feet that diabetics generally, eventually, experience. The burnout is also why toe tissue dies and toes need to be amputated, along with a foot or even an entire lower leg with knee, depending. Eye tissue is another location hit particularly hard by this burn out effect from sugars.
So there’s impact over time based on how much caustic sugar fuel you pour into your own bloodstream.
Also, sugar is addictive. Like meth or heroin, people struggle with letting it go.
I never really considered an inheritance an option. Seems so off-worldly to me, even though I am by no means from a poor family, just lower middle class.
I think the entire concept of inheritance is something more prominent in developing countries like US or India, where there isn’t a well-established safety nets already in place by the government itself.
Of course we have inheritances too, I know a few who got something, but most of it gets taxed away upon receiving or vanishes covering the deceased’s debts, so I’ve never heard anyone I know get anything other than maybe a weekend vacation in the city next over or maybe a small chunk of student debt away.
Then again I’m not very well-off, and I do know there are the upper class families that have a long standing generational wealth passing over to the new generations. I guess it really depends on the circles one’s in.
But I still think it’s not as common here, at least I’ve never considered it to be normal, and I’ve known well people from upper middle class too.
Many people inherit a house or a flat
So I had a relative who passed, but saw it coming and tried to make some moves to make sure his only son was set up to take care of his wife, because his wife had never really had to "be an adult" and went her entire life without handling any bills or finances or anything. So when he passed at least his middle aged son would be there to handle things including their house.
So he died and sure enough, she couldn't handle independent living. So they decided to sell the house and she'd move in with another relative. So the rest of us are thinking "oh good, at least they cashed out in this crazy high real estate market to have a bit of a cushion".
However, no one thought about how little the middle aged son had to worry about things like housing and stuff. He never had to buy or rent a house, he had a hand me down trailer parked on a relatives land. He always had a used car gifted to him by and other relative getting rid of it. So he had no idea what he was doing either, thought a seller's agent was a scam to take their money, and they ended up selling the whole house and land for about $50k before any one else had any idea that they were even thinking of selling.
As well liked as he is, so much frustration when everyone has to take on a burden to help them and they make such a huge mistake that could have made things so much easier.
Interesting to have a relatively large family to see all the scenarios play out. Also have a relative that is spending all his money and is mortgaged to his eyes, and another relative who lived like a pauper who turned out to have a couple million in liquidity in her 80s because she wanted her kid to be surprised when they got hit with a big inheritance.
Unless they’re the sole recipient of a will (doesn’t seem very common), at least here those are almost always liquified and proceeds split according to the will. Doesn’t amount to much usually, though it might be different in countries that have very large and expensive cities.
People used to buy land and build a house on it and that was the inheritance. It could then be cut into smaller parcels and new homes built for the kids if they stayed close.
And of course if you were wealthy it was businesses and trust funds which still occurs a lot these days.
The middle class was partially stripped of its wealth by each generation giving less to the next
I am with you I never considered that an option and I don't want to think about it either. But I do think our parents gets/got a lot (depending on how our grandparents lived) more than we will. My grandparents left house and money and even a vacation house so my parents could put the sould houses and furnitures money into building their own house. My mom even gave me and my sister a bit to use to buy our first apartments. It is still money even tho it is pretty sad way to "earn" money... I assume your friends parents lived in rented apartments if there was not much left.
What doesn't get spent on enjoying a retirement we will never get, will be claimed by medical bills from failing health. Generational wealth doesn't apply to us, and no one is coming to save you.
Reading this thread, I feel like having a nice rant:
"Waah, all our problems are caused by the boomers! They're all rich and selfish, they had the easy life and got all the money and the houses and ruined the environment while our lives were ruined!" Keep believing that and stay distracted! while the oligarchy laughs it's ass off at you.
Pay no attention to all those poor boomers who could never get a house, who are scraping to get by--those are the exceptions that prove the rule, they must have been especially lazy or stupid boomers, if they're not rich like the vast majority of boomers! Yeah, that's it.
Pay no attention to the corporations that have bought up all the housing so they can rent it to you at any price they like, that has nothing to do with housing costs--it's the boomers who were too selfish to leave you their house when they died who are to blame! Yeah, that's it.
Pay no attention to the oil companies and big corporations that control congress to keep their profits private and costs socialized so they can spew their effluent into the environment as the world burns and the ice caps melt, it's the boomers' fault! Boomers only started the environmental movement and demonstrated and pressured the government into creating the EPA, Clean Air Act, and many more, but so what, all the bad things are still their fault.
Stay distracted! Keep believing what you're told and blaming who you're told to blame as you get older and older and the boomers all die, and then enjoy how Gen B and Gen C, etc. hate you and rail against you and blame you for all their problems. Why didn't you--yes you! stop global warming? You could have, but you didn't give a fuck. You who had it so easy, living your selfish life with your fresh water and electricity and air conditioning and video games and all those nice things, while their lives were ruined? It's all your fault!
Never the oligarchs, though. Not them.
[I can also do another version of this for the right wingers, substituting immigrants for boomers].
Yeah, I know of plenty of boomers that have had to delay retirement because they simply didn't have enough money. I've known several that finally retired, late, then passed away a few months later. Never got the chance to enjoy retirement at all.
My parents were working part time jobs, instead of relaxing and enjoying retirement, until a few years ago. Those jobs were having obvious effects on their health and well-being, too; I was convinced at least one of them was going to pass away before long. Fortunately, they're now in a position now where at least they don't have to work - but my brothers and I sent them money to replace their HVAC system when it died a few months ago, so it's not like they're rolling in dough or will leave us some huge inheritance.
How much would it suck to get to 70 and realize you still have to keep working? I mean, if you enjoy it and want to keep working, great, go for it. But to be forced to do it? That would suck. It doesn't matter what generation you are.
My father was extremely open about his plans to spend it all. My in laws as well. I did get a small inheritance once, a few thousand dollars from a great grandpa that went to me because the legal battle for it outlived my mom. I hope I get sentimental things from my grandparents because that's the remainder of my incoming inheritance
"This memorable reminds me of the cash I inherited from my grandpa"
My mom just wanted to make enough to spend it over her lifetime, and that seems fair to me. She got nothing from her parents and had to support her own mom in her old age, and didn't want to cost us anything.
I would argue that inheritance is a huge driver of inequality. I have gotten small amounts from the estate of my dad's parents (my dad died when I was 16) and a childless relative and even those amounts jumped us ahead some, I can imagine what some huge amount unearned would do - but it's just that. Unearned.
This is my parents. I found out from a relative that after my mom suffered an injury, that her husband was spending $2000 a month on fast food. Literally TWOOOOO THOUSAND dollars on fried chicken a month.
When the topic came up of them writing a will, they said that I'd be getting the family pictures. That's it.
Holy shit that's a lot of chicken
Edit: if he's getting a 10 dollar meal that's 200 orders of chicken. A 31 day month with 3 meals has 93 meals meaning over double what a person typically eats. If you get a 18 piece bucket looks like the price might be between 62 and 100 bucks. Let's say 62 for fun that's approximately 32.25 buckets or 516 pieces of chicken a month. I mean I like chicken but damn not that much
Late edit: if we can assume a chicken yields 7 pieces of meat 2 leg 2 wing 2 thigh 1 breast we can extrapolate that man was eating about 78 chickens a month. If you count the breast as 2 which it is commknly butchered as it would be 64.5 whole ass chickens a month
But he's going Cartman on those buckets
Oh this is me. Their house is packed and they keep buying more shit and going on international cruises. We’ll get nothing.
And that bothers you? Do you only care about money?
Related Twilight Zone clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMGJLZDLpUg
What a backwards and projecting take. Keep your pessimistic views to yourself.
Also they will spend it on expensive overpriced healthcare they voted for.
Honestly, that and retirement homes sort of exist to extract the last wealth from the dying.
The hospitals and retirement facilities plan to absorb every cent left.
Yea the picture is not related at all. Elder care is bleeding their money dry, they're not choosing to spend it on lavish vacations.
Once you get to a point where you run out of insurance and health savings, you have to go to Medicaid, which will take your house and the rest of your savings after you die. (And if you try to give your house to your child before you die, unless you do it 5 years before enrolling in medicaid you will get a huge delay in services)
They’re trying to victim blame boomers for being robbed by these industries.
Damn, I wish my parents had an inheritance to waste.
My mom is "choosing" to spend it at a retirement home because we can't have her live with us and my brother is an asshole. And honestly, I'd rather have her spend her last years in comfort (we won't even be in the same country) than get some windfall when she dies.
Retirement homes aren't cheap. She's in her early 80s, but both of her parents lived until their 90s, so I'm guessing there won't be much of any inheritance left over.
My mother told my wife that if my father passes away first, she wants to go live in a home, not with us or my brothers (great, because I do not think her living with us would go very well). But of course the unspoken question was, "Is there money for that?" Given we just gave them money to fix their HVAC, I doubt it. So is the plan that my siblings and I are going to pay for it? It'd be nice to know so that we could plan...
And, of course, Medicare does not cover assisted living. My mom is not fabulously wealthy, but it sounds like she'll have enough to make it. Good luck to your parents.
Inheritance is clearly societal ill, and even on a personal level, depending on inheritance might cause family troubles
Inheritance is weird. My partner and I stand to inherit a good bit when the parents on either side pass. Both sides of the family had successful middle class careers saved and invested well. Even considering the siblings on both sides, we could inherit an amount around $1M from either side.
But it's weird in two ways. First, it's not something that can be counted on. On either side it could be completely eaten up by nursing home care and medical costs for our parents. So we're not planning our own retirement assuming a windfall from inheritance. Second, on either side, unless they're unlucky, at least one of the parents is likely to live into their late 80s or 90s. So we'll already be in our 60s or 70s.
In other words, while we stand to likely inherit a good chunk of change, it will come so late in life that we won't really need it. Unless our parents die younger than expected, we will already be well into a fully funded retirement by the time they pass.
I feel inheritance made a lot more sense in the past. A farmer or a craftsman would will their farm or business to their children. And that child would take over that business while the parent was still alive, but too old to work it anymore. The child got the business or farm, but in turn had to support the parent in their later years.
But now? You're basically just inheriting your parent's house and whatever is left over of their retirement accounts. And you're doing so at an age where it really doesn't necessarily help you. Sure, if you yourself are unable to retire, then that windfall will be a godsend. But considering how wealth reproduces through generations, if you're in a position to inherit substantial funds from your parents, odds are you probably have a pretty big nest egg yourself built up by then. The people who could really use an inheritance to fund their retirement are unlikely to have parents wealthy enough to give them one.
But yeah, this is why I support strong inheritance taxes. For most people who inherit anything substantial, by the time you actually inherit something, you don't really need it anymore.
In my family the house was sold so that we could pay for the funeral. (Funerals are super expensive and the house was rotting)
However, if you do get some money later in life you could always invest and grow it so that it can be passed down. By the time you die hopefully your kids will be responsible enough to manage it (I am assuming you have kids)
This money you use to pay for your children or grandchildren's college, house, whatever. Same as the last hundred years
Us child free Gen Xers on the other hand...
Same!
Jokes on you, i grew up poor and never had an expectation of shit.
Read the body of my post
And that is there choice, and most of what's left over will go into their care home expenses anyway, that'll drive them bankrupt either way.
I don't think what's talked about enough is kids having the talk with their parents about not being able to take care of them when they get old because you can't afford to take of yourself and didn't save anything for retirement. So you hope SSN will be enough for them. I know my mother always asked me if I would take care of her when she got old.
She would say that's why she had kids. But I had to sit her down and run the math and I said it's not about if I have the will or not it's is it possible and the math just doesn't workout and I have an okay job. I can only imagine what people lower down on the ladder are going through.
There are a lot of boomers that about to get a horrible wake up call and a lot of heartbreak watching our parents suffer at hands of their own making.
They will be drowning and some kids are going to jump in and get pulled under when trying to rescue them and the ones who know they don't have to proper equipment. Stay out of the water and mourn the loss.
I'm sure there is more to it but telling you she had kids so you can take care of her sounds pretty bad - even though I know it's not uncommon.
I have had to have this talk with my parents as well since I moved to a different country at 19. I've told them to prepare for me not to be able to be around all the time, and luckily they have done that. It still feels selfish after so many years and they have been great about it, so I can understand this conversation being extremely difficult when the parents expect to be taken care of.
Yo, all I asked for was for them to keep me alive long enough so that I can too become a productive member in society. They owe me nothing.
Most people need to sell their estate to pay for end of life care, just tell your boomer parents they can spend their last days in whatever dumpster their meagre estate can afford and they might rethink their next cruise.
I get the anti Boomer sentiment, but the reality is many of them are very decent people.
My dad passed this year and now it's just my mom left. She has a net with of about 2M. I'm doing just fine myself, And she gets by on about 70k a year (half of that goes to rent). I keep telling her she should spend more money on things that make her happy, but she's good with what she has and doesn't feel she needs more. She doesn't want to travel and she has everything she needs.
Just because the boomer generation has left us with a dumpster fire, doesn't mean that there isn't a wide distribution of people within that age group. The truth is only a handful of us have the power to change anything and the rest of us are just trying to get by and get the most out of life that we can.
Isn't that better anyway? Inheritance makes the world less fair, as children of rich parents will get a huge advantage. If that money is instead spent, it hopefully distributes over society again instead if staying in the rich families.
It's obviously not that black and white, getting some money is a great help to you get people. And obviously a parent will want to help their children, that's totally fair. But as a larger trend it doesn't seem like a bad thing to me.
The people with millions and billions of dollars aren't spending all of it before they die. It's the old people with tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands.
Oh yes, all that money spent on cruise liners will definitely distribute over society
Lol my dad left me everything he had when he died. So, I got a truck.
When my mom goes, my sister and I might get to split a house we don't want that's on its third or fourth refinancing.
I guess if your parents don't have an inheritance to give you just never consider not getting one to be a problem.
A ton of it is going to scammers overseas too, even better.
That gives me hope, it's kind of like reparations
My thought is that if you’re going to give money, don’t wait until you die. The earlier you help someone, the more of their life it can improve. Help your kid buy their first house or something. Then spend everything before you die.
Exactly. Family should help family regardless, otherwise, can it even be called a family?
How dare they raise you and then spend their own money?!
Make a boomer leisure business, lazy children. EZ.
Honestly, I'm young, and I know older people that would spend it better than their failkids.
That's not everyone, of course, but maybe instead of blaming people born at a slightly different time we should focus on being mad that there's no non-hereditary path to wealth in the first place.
Suckers I inherited a cane from one side and a watercolor of a dog from the other. Behold my wealth and cry into your lentils. My lentils are salty enough.
Lol I had this convo with my parents, I told them it's their money and I don't expect to get anything.
I will get stuff because that's what my parents own. They don't have large amounts of liquid cash but my dad owns his house and my mom owns lots of antique furniture (passed down from her family) and jewelry (she has a problem with buying shiny gold and silver pieces). But there's also 8 of us kids so the likelihood is that we each won't get much in the way of any real inheritance even from what they do have.
It's easier for most everyone involved to just let them live out their lives using what they have earned along the way. So I told my parents pretty much the same thing. Take care of yourselves. We'll be alright.
Same, we will sell the house and other assets but it won't be life changing.
In the same way that we should stop consuming media that blames everything on millennials, we should stop consuming media about how uniquely difficult it is for millennials.
Complaining about the younger generation, and the younger generation complaining that they have it uniquely difficult, has been the experience since the invention of teenagers. It was my experience, and it'll be the same experience when millennials are my age.
I'm sure that the younger generations were complaining right before the fall of Rome too, they needed to get over it, what a bunch of losers.
Yeah... How entitled are you? Do you NEED your parents money to get by? I barely make enough to afford rent and yet I still don't ask my parents for shit. I love them will all my heart and they make good money.
But it's money they earned, they are not obligated to give it to their kids.
And for those of you who are about to tell me "that's not the point", yes it is the fucking point. Your material worth is based on what YOU do to make ends meet. Your parents already lived through what we're going through now.
Oh and also: I GUARANTEE 90% of you are going going to do the exact same thing when YOUR KIDS ask "Mom/Dad can you buy me a car".
Of course not! You can barely buy your own car, let alone buy one for your kids and then THEY are gonna post the exact same thing about you on the internet. Because YOU didn't save YOUR money. Instead you spent $50 a month on your monthly services like Hulu, Netflix, Crunchyroll, Disney+, also your Pandora, Spotify, Apple Music, and any other goods/services your spending your cash on.
You could, instead put that $50 a month and any extra money into your savings and by the time you retire, you would too would have money to spend. And if you raised your kids right, they would do the same thing instead of relying on OUR hard earned money.
So get the fuck off your high horse and start saving your money.
Do you NEED your parents money to get by?
For most people the answer is... Yes, to live the the same standard. This generation barely affording one car while the previous generation had multiple...
I don't know what you think 50$ a month compounds to, but I've done the math and I'll need to put away 7-800 per month to save enough to cover rent/food for a reasonable amount of time 40 years from now.
Sounds pretty selfish to have your kids in debt instead of using the wealth you've accrued to avoid your family paying interest to the bank. Pretty dumb way to hamstring your family's ability to accrue generational wealth. Like damn I guess you actively dislike your kids and grandkids.
I make less than $18 per hour and I can still afford rent without roommates, buying my own car, buying my own food and STILL afford my own monthly services.
Is it cheap? Of course not. Am I saving money? Barely. But here's the thing you're not considering:
In about 20 years When all the Boomer/Z generations are retired and not working to earn money, where do you think all that money is going to be? If you think they will have all the money while our generation is running the government, then you sir/ma'am lack foresight into the future.
The money isn't going to magically disappear, it will still be there and you will still be working to earn your fair share. It isn't going anywhere.
Save your money now, so you don't have to ask your parents for money later.
TLDR: Grow up and quit relying on your parents for everything. There's a reason we become "adults" when we turn 18.
Yeah, one of my parents likely isn’t getting anything from theirs, but the other did, and I’m sure they’ll have it all spent. My wife’s family is the same; the generational wealth ends with her parents. We’re fucked, as a whole generation.
In other words, the rich are eating the middle class. They will buy up all property and normal people will be permanently priced out of the market. They have no reason to sell.
They spent it on groceries then voted for an orange dipshit .
I mean I'm not crazy about inheritance anyway for some reason it gives me the jeebies.
My father would endlessly yap about his retirement plan and 401k and all shit like that, as if the US Dollar is going to still be a currency in circulation in 2030.
You'd be completely wrong. In my case.
I'm pretty sure all of us have given up on any boomer giving us anything anyway
That should work out since most boomers didn't get anything from their parents either.
That and my parents will likely be alive longer than me anyway.
Unless things go terribly wrong (and they might) my daughter stands to get a second house and a quarter of a million $
No offense my guy but a quarter mill and a house will probably be easily eaten up but your end of life care. Regardless I hope you have that set up in a trust for your daughter so she doesn't have to pay taxes on it if there is something left.
I want my parents to enjoy what they've earned and to have enough money to handle expenses of aging. I'm an anti natalist but I don't fault then for doing something that was expected by everyone at the time which was having kids, and they really did their best. I have dedicated my life to gerontology and helping the aging population. If humanity is going extinct, let's go out with compassion.
What's the problem? One of the common complains on Lemmy is that they claim to ban inheritance, for everyone. So this would be the logical conclusion right?
*will
My grandparents from one side of the family left me nothing, and the other side left two weeks rent. I know the direct descendants come first but at least give the grandkids 15% or something, it would have helped so much. We're all working twice as hard to afford half the lifestyle our parents had
Stark self sufficiency and individualism is their philosophy. Too bad they forgot what their parents gave them so they could reach that point. Including the political atmosphere of unions and good paying jobs.
I'm relying on my inheritance from my mum to get a house, but that's mostly from selling her house, I'm sure her actual savings will be quite low by the time that comes around.
My parents are land owners My grandfather owns a mansion My uncles are business owners and landlords
I have two siblings I have no clue what I'm going to be given and this will stress the fuck out of me
At least I have confirmation that they'll buy me a place for me to stay in Istanbul and those places aren't exactly cheap either
But what about my house in Denizli, apartment and shops in Eskişehir, farmland near Muğla, and the spa & hotel within Kütahya?
Its actually a good thing if these people are spending their money and not hoarding it and putting it in savings accounts to pass down. It liquidates money in the economy and should boost it. That said... If where you are taxes are shite and aren't redistributing the wealth properly it will all just end up in someone far richer's bank account.
I eat far too much avocado toast to save for retirement or college. I'm happy to spend my twighlight years drinking myself to death under a highway overpass.
This is a bad faith take that only reflect the experiencs of the wealthiest boomers. There are elderly people struggling with Medicare and social security being cut. Remember, there's not an age war, there is a class war.
It's a class war, but many boomers are scabs.
Remember when there was a worker shortage and retired boomers went and volunteered at chain restaurants so they wouldn't have to raise wages to attract workers? Remember all the "millennials are so entitled, they want to be PAID FOR WORK" style posts by boomers, back when some non-boomers still used Facebook so we had access to their posts?
It's not their fault they've been brainwashed by right-wing propaganda, but they for sure are fighting against anything resembling economic justice.
And obviously much like any generation, you can't make sweeping statements about them. There are right-wing nutters in their 20s and even their teens out there right now and there are obviously boomers who aren't selfish assholes.
Source on this? This sounds insane
Worth repeating:
Remember, there’s not an age war, there is a class war.
This is worth repeating on basically all things political, social, financial, etc.
There is no "_____" War, there is only a Class War.
Don't forget that if we can't paint everyone in a group they were born into with a broad brush, we'll never be able to beat prejudices like racism, sexism, and ableism.