Your username has suddenly become your only means of staying alive. How bad is it?

I'm good until I run out, I guess.

Oh dear.

I dont like this game

Finally, my time to shine.

I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out

Pretty sure my time would be up.

I planned for this exact scenario

I have food and transport, I think I'll be ok.

The cure is worse than the disease.

Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.

I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.

Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.

On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.

Pretty good I think!

Guess Im poopin.

I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.

And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.

I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.

I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.

I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.

If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright

I have meat at least

Can i manifest it as a super power?

Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.

I guess something is better than nothing.

I'm in GREAT shape. :D

I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened

Not happy about this, but present

Roll around in some kelp and then float away

I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!

Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.

Well I won't have any problems with doctors I suppose

I'm pretty happy.

Uhhhh...

May very well go up in flames, is how bad.

I'll survive for a little bit but I will almost certainly be the cause of my own death.

It's me or the other guy

I'll be OK.

Maybe I can try to convince people to put me in charge

At least I’ll be fed

I cast spells

Well, coffee is essential. It's just more on the nose now.

I can't think of anything more metal than subsisting on arsenic, lead, and belladonna mixtures.

Depends on which one it is, one of them is significantly more helpful than the other.

Not too bad,

I didn't choose the chug life, the chug life choo-choo chose me!

(And it's got a picture of a train!)

I am the person who should have died at every turn, but somehow being the only one that lives to the end, I imagine.

or I die by licking a diseased corpse.

So, hard to tell if its good or bad.

Very bad. I'll I've got is a really gross bagel

I sell tea, as 418 is a teapot, so I'd say not so bad

Will you have a cup of tea? Ah go on, there’s plenty in the pot. Go on, have a cup of tea, so. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on ….

I have to either rob or digitally pleasure someone named Cooper

I'm gonna have what plants crave.

Not so bad

Not nice

I think I'll be ok.

It's bad.

I'm in command but my crew had BETTER stay on my good side.

Guess I'm setting fire to a lot of robots ¯(ツ)_/¯

Oh I'll be "Stayin' alive," alright.

I guess I'm a black rabbit now. Could be worse.

As long as I don't run out of fuel and crash...

It's my name, so I guess I'll do ok?

My username is a bird that steals fish. I'm not sure how I'm going to get on the good side of one, but I guess I'd better get used to either seafood or hunger

Oranges and collared greens, I suppose. Could be worse.

It's bad for you. I'm a steal yo girl, and if you come near my taniwha hideout, I'm going to eat you.

... I'm so high right now. That's probably how this ends for me: humans bringing me some cannabis, getting me too high, and leading me somewhere out of the way.

Oh well, I'll die happy

Every 3 letter agency would be after me shortly

I certainly wont be starving to death!

I'll be just fine.

I spelt mine wrong.

I gotta eat pineapples

Welp, time to change my diet, as if they didn't have it rough already by being lonely. Sorry little dudes

Time to stab Polyphemus in the eye and get outta this cave, I reckon.

Im okay with this, whole movies exist with this outcome, good times ahead

Sounds like I'll be doing psychedelics or phenethylamines possibly. Not a bad way to live.

Brb, loading up on carbs.

Well, fuck

Uhhhh I suppose I like cereal

I'm in luck! 😁

I'm not sure about nutritional value, but it could be worse

could be worse

You got a quarter?

Guess I'd better whip out the scarves and space berets. I'll be just fiiine.

I'm aceing at it, sadly.

McDonald's stocks go up 200%

I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.

People think I'm bullshitting all the time.

I mean there are a lot of doors that are our only means of staying alive in some way. Doors are very important.

The best I can make sense of it is that I make my money as some sort of emo catboy vtuber. Assuming I'm not already reasonably popular, that boils down to how good a streamer I can be and the economic factors of going into the EN vtubing industry after the initial boom. And I'm already at a disadvantage because "emo catboy" is a weak concept that lacks originality.

This is not how I expected to get a degree in arachnology

Seeing as you can't eat rocks I'd practically be dead.

Well, I can hunt, I guess.

I guess that I'm now praying to a really shitty version of Satan, uh. Or perhaps selling really cheap lamps?

("Lvxferre" is just broken Latin for "Lucifer", or "light-bringer")

Maybe dying isn't so bad after all...

I'm just some random Lord now, which theoretically will come with resources so I should be okay

Suing beverage companies for having severed toes inside

Basically no change.

I can live off soiled bread I suppose

Haha, I’ll still be around in millions of years.