Who is the enemy?

IT people hate computers

every time i pick a different direction in my career, Donald Trump personally brings about that industry's ruin

Have you considered a job in the military-industrial complex, or maybe at a hedge fund?
- WW3 and having to suck up to racist pedophiles, those are already on the chopping block
Become a hedge fund analyst or maybe get a job with McKinsey

Paramedics hate methamphetamine. And alcohol. And high voltage electrical current.

But we love people who injure themselves creatively.

Stupid people are our job security.

Emergency Medicine: Alcohol and/or fireworks
Family Medicine: Wellness influencers
Surgery: Pre-op NSAIDs (eg ibuprofen)
Pediatrics: RFK Jr

Neurology: Football (American football) and boxing
Epidemiology too for RFK.
- We all hate RFK, except Ortho. Those guys seem to like stupid $&#(.
- Oh, I forgot for OB/Gyn: GOOP and "Natural Birth Midwives"

For lawyers? The Dunning-Kruger effect.

That's the enemy of anyone with any specialization

Nvidia hates Wayland. :(

School bus drivers hate landscapers. And Amazon delivery drivers, but at least those fuckers move quickly.

We also hate children but I probably shouldn't admit that publicly.

SLTs hate pacifiers. They're horrible for a child's teeth, leads to costantly open mouths, are bad for posture etc.. Most patients' parents who come into therapy are good about weaning their kids but some don't and don't know about the harm either

What does SLT mean?
- Speech and Language Therapist
  or Swine, Lettuce, Tomato for a type of sandwich

Funeral Homes hate the Government.

They are incredibly rude to the families receiving financial assistance, it takes 3 months for them to pay us, and did you know that if you don't have a will they cut your step-children out of the process entirely?

We had one gentleman in our care whose only living family was his step-daughter. Because there were no blood relatives and no will the Public Guardian took control of his disposition and the step-daughter had no say in anything that happened with him. Wasn't allowed to keep a portion of the ashes, the Funeral Director had to fight just to allow the step-daughter a brief final visitation.

This is also true for children under 18. Your 17 year old child has no say in your disposition if you have no other living relatives.

Have a will people, if for no other reason than to allow your loved ones to decide how they will grieve rather than some indifferent bureaucrat.

It never occurred to me that a government would pay a funeral home, but now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense for a government to collectively pay for the disposal of human remains, since everyone needs it, and it can't be abused.
- Not everyone is eligible, but if the family has no money to pay for it the government pays for basic services. If the family has funds available they have to pay but I believe they get reimbursed for some amount.
Which country is this?
- Canada

Anyone using a phone hates clankers.

There's one automated system I need to call regularly at work that does not give me the option of dialing numbers and forces me to speak to it. It lists the options it can understand, but I can't just press a number to move on. Then it asks me to say and spell my first name, then say my last name (which it guesses the spelling of incorrectly) and pretends to type while it's processing. Why are we doing this?

Arborists hate Bradford pear trees. They’re the ones that have white flowers and smell like cum. That’s not even why we hate them though.

I wrote a mobile app years ago for a company that surveyed power lines to figure out what trees had to be cut away. They gave me a list of something like 800 tree species and I was like "do you guys really know what all these trees look like?" They did, it was a very impressive knowledge set.
A fun fact about power lines in rural areas: property owners generally get compensated monetarily when their trees have to be trimmed for this, and the amount they get is dependent on the species of tree. So the surveyors would usually find all kinds of incredibly exotic shit planted directly under the lines, basically a cash crop for people living in the middle of nowhere. This is probably a huge and under-appreciated factor in the spread of invasive species.
I had one of these in front of my house, and every spring I wondered why I smelled crusty underwear in my living room. The day I finally had it removed was one of the happiest of my life.
What’s the reason arborists hate them?
- https://slrpnk.net/comment/17753400
Well, what is it?
- It’s an invasive species and they grow with very poor structure so that they basically collapse in a pile of broken limbs after a couple of decades. And the nurseries marketed them heavily for a while so they’re planted everywhere. Pain in the ass to work with.

Physical therapists hate motorcycles.

Firemen hate pedophiles

Teachers hate pedophiles

Doctors hate pedophiles

Lawyers hate pedophiles

Liberals hate pedophiles

Conservatives hate pedophiles

Independents hate pedophiles

Where's the fucking list Donny? Give us the list you fat orange fuck. We know you're on it, and so do you. How did you think this was going to pan-out, dumbass?

Conservatives hate pedophiles
I wish this was really a blanket rule.
- We can put "most" in front of all of these categories. Acting like there are no liberal or independent ones is the equivalent of enabling them. Put them all in prison no matter what political affiliation.
- It's in that performative superiority-complex way, like Lindsey Graham hating gays
Conservatives hate pedophiles
Unless it's their own, then "he's saving a young girl from extreme poverty"/"she's teaching a lucky boy a special lesson"/"was a human after all, no one is perfect".
- Shitlibs that pretend Bill Clinton and Joe Biden aren't pedos give me a fucking headache. Also Bill Gates and Alan Dershowitz.
From what we're seeing in the US, pedophiles hate pedophiles.... at least publicity.
- Like bitjunkie said:
  It’s in that performative superiority-complex way, like Lindsey Graham hating gays

And palaeoecologists hate people that borrow our lab, leave shit everywhere, and try to take it over. For FUCKS SAKE.

Software devs hate users

Software devs also hate UX/UI Designers.
And Product Owners.
And Scrum Masters.
And Software Architects.
And Security/Compliance Managers.
And QA Testers.
And worst of all... Software devs.
- Sysadmins hate computers.
- Software devs also hate UX/UI Designers.
  I would never be able to explain coherently the difference between UX and UI people. I've only worked for one company that even had a UX guy on staff. He was paid an insane amount of money (close to half a mil per year) and as far as I could tell did absolutely nothing except insist that certain procedures be followed rigorously. He never designed anything at all himself.
  He was the only coworker I've ever had who ended up refusing to speak to me or even acknowledging my existence. This came about because I wrote a TV Guide-type app for Blackberry which our client loved and insisted on having added to their corporate app. The UX guy insisted that no app could be produced unless it was preceded by a formal design document, so he was forced into the situation of having to produce a design document for an app that had already been written, which completely broke his brain. Or rather, he was forced into ordering someone else to do this, since as I mentioned he never actually did anything himself.
  He eventually left because he got a job offer for way more money lol. I guess I shouldn't make fun of somebody who had the system figured out far better than me.
- Damned software devs, they ruined software!
- And themselves from a month ago...
  ... when they said to themselves "This little piece of code is fine, I don't need to change it now. I'll just refactor it later. "
And technology. That’s why they all fantasize about living on farms
- Some of us are real go-getters and realize we can bring the farm to us long before we retire! I am currently typing this on my Linux couch computer wearing lightweight clothes with literal dirt smeared on them, on a dinner break before I return to the back yard and continue today's construction project. Sometimes being a "farmer" also means becoming a carpenter!
  Granted, it works much better for the suburban homeowner than anybody living in a city and/or an apartment.
  And when I refer to myself as a "farmer," all my animals are family pets cared for as a hobby. There is 0% business plan. Well, probably negative %. When we have too many animals (usually too many fish in the pond) we give them away for free!

Proctologists hate things without a flared base.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but not this way!"

Cell biologists hate contaminants.

Software engineers hate MBAs. It's like they live in a fantasy world where everything works perfectly and can be done in 3 days and can read your mind.

I got my MBA almost a decade ago, several years after getting my software engineering master's first. We hadn't started a family yet, and my employer had amazing tuition reimbursement.
It didn't work on me though, even though there were some interesting systems, math, and psychology to learn about. I am still an individual contributor writing code daily, helping the younger engineers, and growing into my generalist graybeard best self.
Unfortunately my dark side training hasn't given me much insight that you don't already have yourself, most likely. I guess it's worth pointing out that while most probably live in that fantasy world, there are some smart nerdy people in that world who might be driven to optimize their business like they'd min-max a dungeon crawler build. There's just something else that went wrong along the way, lol.
That's why those fuckers love LLMs so much. They don't understand anything remotely technical, and it makes them believe they can just cut out the grumpy, uncooperative middleman and push shit code in production they are unable to audit.
they live in a fantasy world where everything works perfectly and can be done in 3 days
We used to call this the "Powerpoint compiler".

sysadmins hate end users because end users suck.

The hate is as old as computing.
This brought to mind a collection of asshole admin stories from the early internet. With a bit of googling, it was The Bastard Operator From Hell. God, I haven't thought of those since the 90s. I can't believe I could even recall something like that.
Anyway, fuck users.
- That thing spawned so many fucking great memes before they were even widely called that
- They are still ongoing!
Hear hear

I know q-tips aren't safe or whatever but man it feels too good to stop.

Yeah, I am not going to contradict any doctors when it comes to the risks, but for my ears and the way I do it, I haven't ever hurt myself and my PCP says my ears are completely clear at each checkup.
I think I'm fortunate to have pretty light thin wax though.
What do you mean, not safe? I always thought "do not use in your ear canal" was just a joke they wrote on the packaging. Like, actually good one, what else are you gonna do with it?
- Q-tips aren't meant to go in the ear the same way adult novelty toys aren't meant to go in the butt.
- They're also used as cleaning tips for small/targeted applications, especially when you don't want lint from a Kleenex or paper towel lingering. Makeup application/removal and electronics cleaning, for example.
  I think (not a doctor) the ear thing is because if you go too deep you can cause some serious damage, and they can make wax buildup worse by compacting it. If you stay close to the ear opening, and do circular motions to swipe wax away, and clean your ears often enough that you don't get dense wax build up, and don't "double dip" to introduce potential pathogens, then I think they're pretty safe to use? But that's too many caveats for lots of people, so I think ENTs often deal with people damaging themselves with them.
I bought metal earwax spoons. Sure, q-tips feel great and all, but pulling out the clod of wax actually responsible for the itch is divine

Photo editors hate:

Enhance! Just keep enhancing!

Dentists hate 1, 16, 17, and 32.

Did anybody else just get LOST flashbacks?
I don't even have those anymore and now their absence is causing problems.

Psychoanalysts hate those blotchy black & white images of my mother's pussy giving birth to my father who is wielding a knife with my name written along the hilt. "Stop bringing these fucking drawings in here!" she yells. God forbid a man have hobbies.

IT people hate computers.

FUCK PRINTERS
- ZIP
I'm an IT person and I like computers, as long as they've never been turned on and they stay that way.
IT people hate computers.
IT people hate users. IT people hate other IT people. We're just a surly lot.
- BTKAC error
- I've had the privilege of working with users with actual computer training. Old ladies who started working on terminals in the 70s and 80s. They were awesome, because they actually understood what they were doing. They could give me an accurate description of what they were doing when shit went wrong. They had real concerns and realistic requests for improvement. And they never blamed the computer when they encountered something they didn't understand. They're all dead or retired now.
  Todays computer illiterate workforce is doomed to be incompetent because they don't understand how their main tool works. Nobody bothered to train them.
- You just made an enemy for life!
- SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!
- true, but we also hate computers
- IT people hate people then? Checks out to me actually
Correction: IT people hate printers.
- As a non-IT person, fuck HP in particular.
- Correction: printers hate people.
- PC load letter? What the fuck does that mean?

ENTs hate Q-tips?!

That doesn't make sense to me. But, then again, you are very small.

People sticking Q-tips in their (E)ars and to a lesser extent, (N)oses and (T)hroats.
- You're absolutely correct, but op is making a joke about Ents from LotR. A cheeky little pun, if you will.
HROOOM

Electrical engineers hate OrCAD, seriously. I keep a spare file on all of my work computers collecting when I see someone on line saying OrCAD sucks. Brings me comfort when the program crashes for the 5th time that day

CS people hate the printer

PC load letter? What the fuck does that mean??
- 500years of printing and this is the best we got... Smh
- No idea, but we treat them all the same. 230vAC to the USB port.
…and a lot of them hate the end-user, too. Why must we involve people in the whole computer thing? Isn’t an abacus and a box of crayons enough?
- Bold of you to assume the end user can handle crayons
I work in a print shop and i also hate the printer.
Fuck you Xante. I hate you so much
CS IT but yeah. I work in a company with people with masters in CS from Ivy League schools and they don’t understand the first thing about how hardware or their OS works. Common misconception
- …which, in and of itself, is sad as hell because one of the course requirements (at least when I was working on my CS degree) was Operating System Concepts & Design.
HP printers in particular.
- Weirdly, i don't hate HP printers (at least, the FutureSmart ones). Xerox can fuck right off with all those restarts just to change fucking settings though
Well that is accurate...

Data (dwh) people hate Excel

dude you can hate but 80% of "data" still.on excel. I'm in my third global company and people still control things on excel. and 5% power bi (some from excel) hahahahaha
- Yep, that's true haha.
  It's perhaps not so much Excel, as much as it's just the symptom of a lot of bigger issues: working without version control, without column validation or access control, limited documentation (not necessarily better in data warehouse but at least the functionality is easily accessible), limited automated testing, etc etc.
  If only they could keep their data for themselves, then ok. but no no, we have to ingest it, and do work on top of it in dwh, and it just breaks so often due to a variety of different stuff.
- Wait you mean your organization doesn't use some ludicrously expensive hosted database solution or 3 to aggregate data then instead of natively working with the data in that database it gets exported and transformed on a local machine which may or may not havd backups then ask the database people about weird data quirks coming from the local transformations performed on the data
As someone who used to work with "large" (to normal people; 10k-60k rows up to maybe 70 columns) datasets in Excel exclusively, I also hate Excel.
- Me too!
  I hate working with other people's spreadsheets.
  Or my old spreadsheets.
  The worst is "can you just add a small feature" to a huge, sprawling, mission-critical, often reused spreadsheet.
  But I love how quick and powerful it is to spin up a new spreadsheet to analyze something or clean up messy data!

Glass manufacturers hate bubbles.

A lot.

So do economists!
- And phlebotomists!

Truck drivers hate "four wheelers" because they don't know how to drive.

When they're not in their semi they generally drive a four wheeled vehicle their very own self, presumably being hated on by other truck drivers.

Drivers hate everyone else on the road.
eh, other truck drivers aren't much better. biggest takeaway getting my CDL was realizing just how low the standards are to drive a truck
- I used to do fleet management. It's so bad. I never would have believed how many people take clearance signs as suggestions.
  And the class D (regular license) drivers test should include a "show me where the truck driver can and can't see you" portion.
- I've always wanted to drive a semi so this may be good

Structural engineers: fire, water, air and earth. They are like the Anti-Avatar

Everything changed when the Structural Engineering Nation attacked.

And anyone in a field related to studying living creatures in nature hate pesticides/herbicides. Because pesticides harm everything that eats the thing that eats the thing that eats the thing that eats the pesticide.

Same thing with lead shot accumulating in large birds.
- Wait, so the lead shots imbed in the animals that eat the lead shot large birds? And again for the animals that eat the animals that eat the lead shot large birds?

Ornithologists hate cats.

Simple, common bird appreciators too
- Don't forget reptile and insect appreciators, we also hate cats

EMS hate motorcycles and decorative throw rugs.

and anything vaugly shaped like a butt plug but is not a butt plug.
- Not with that attitude
- Also, actual butt plugs. Yes, they can and they will slip inside to the point you can't get them out.
- Reminded me of this post: https://lemmy.world/post/34770628
Why do they hate the decorative throw rugs?
- Slip and fall danger.
- Get receive rugs instead, got it
Agree on the rugs but motorcycles are more of a "I hate people" thing. I'm an EMT that dailies a bike and tons of my coworkers ride too
and those huge mirrors thar you just leaning against the wall
And post-shit stand ups.

Massage therapists hate spray tans.

Death Star structural engineers hate the waste management guys

Ents also hate Orcs

It legit took me longer than it should have to realize it wasn't talking about the tree people.
Who downvoted you? Saruman himself?

For admins, it's users. Period

Lusers

Linguists hate grammarly

Trauma specialist Doctors hate e-scooters

I have an acquaintance who is learning how to walk and talk again because he hit a pothole on an e-scooter. Wear your helmets, kids!
- People keep saying they're dangerous but I ride one all the time. I really wish they were as well studied as bikes, where I know the helmet doesn't help that much when you're hit in a collision.
- And bicycle helmets are not rated for the speed e scooters can go. You want a full face motorcycle helmet and motorcycle gloves.

Locksmiths hate WD-40

not a locksmith, but...
One of those candidates for 'worst memorable phrase in history' is the old "duct-tape for things that move and shouldn't and wd-40 for things that should move and don't".
WD-40 isn't a lubricant. It often works to get something un-stuck, but then you need to still clean and lubricate the parts to keep it working.
Why this one?
- IANAL, but people use it on squeaky hinges and knobs and locks, but it sits in the mechanism and collects dust. It turns into a gummy mess eventually, which is the last thing you would want in a lock.
- I imagine it gunks up the lock mechanism. I have had to eventually replace locks I used it in.

lab techs hate improperly collected samples. The people who collect those samples often in turn hate lab techs.

As a lab tech, I feel this one.
- I spent years in a research path core and am just wrapping up my med lab certification, it amused me when they hired actors to come to our program and we role-played dealing with angry pathologists, fuming nurses ect... Most of my clients have been MSc students or MD/PHD conducting research. they might be experts in their field and conduct these brilliant studies then stumble right at the finish line because sample collection was bungled or something ruined during extraction. I've seen some "interesting" DIY fixation and processing protocols to save a little money that did the same thing. I always feel so bad but most people are willing to learn and work with us.
- Just send it back with a derogatory note telling them to take it again.
It's never easy to connect samples properly in the field and it's never easy to draw conclusions from imperfect sampling.
- I'm in pathology (research, transitioning to medical) so that was my frame of reference here. Its my job take the samples given to the lab and turn them into slides for analysis but tue results are only as good as what I'm given in the first place (crap in, crap out). same with blood draws, urines, anything improperly collected no longer properly represents the thing it came from. Then I have to tell the client that...

Cardiologists hate deep-fried food.

Really? I feel like doctors really love all the stuff that they tell people not to do.
https://youtu.be/CBv4bO_jC8I 27:09

dentists hate sugar drinks (I'm with them on this one) ophthalmologists hate screens urologists hate themselves

I thought you meant window screens for a second and was picturing some kind of weird eye injury epidemic involving enthusiastically looking out windows
- It's actually almost a thing - in Moscow State University, during world cup a decade ago, lazer show was projected right onto students dorm. Not that students didn't protest, it's just those who did were taken by police. Not to mention that many students had babies, and few were fans of loud noises or football for that matter. Fortunately these people were smart enough to save their eyes. Oh, good old stories from hell.

Game developers hate players. They keep breaking our beautiful games and optimizing the fun out of them!

If your players are breaking your game, try to make a mechanic out of the emergent behaviour
They keep breaking our beautiful games and optimizing the fun out of them!
~~players~~ speedrunners

Software Engineers hate stand-up

I dunno, geologists kinda love everything.

What about buried oil tanks?
But then again, we love things most people hate. Like earthquakes and vulcanos. Absolutly amazing stuff for me as a geologist but damn very much uncool for kind of everone else :D

Game programmers hate graphical designers.

Teachers hate parents.

Vice versa

As a parent, I don't hate the teachers. Other kids parents need to get their shit together though. The amount of homophobia and racism casually thrown around by the other kids is appalling.

Drumpf serving as US “President”…

Orthopedic surgeons hate motorcycles

Psychologists hate cigars

Except Freud who famously loved them
What did you say about my mother?

@fossilesque i hate phone calls :aneodogbongo:

Religion and Neo-Liberalism hate science
Big corporations hate ad- and trackerblocker
Drug barons hate legalizing
Dictators and nazis hate the truth
Developers hate Product Managers
Linux users hate systemd

i love systemd
- I love systemd too but I can't remember how to use journald :(
I hated Product Managers as first but learned how they can be a valuable asset. Especially when dealing with customers or executives. They can handle all the crap throw at us and just filter down what we need know.

Apples unite them all

Teachers hate AI

Metrologists hate Analysts

All you have to do is rinse the LC with water my guy...

pulmonologists hate vapes

Data? No, because there is none. And I have read every.single.study. They are all fucked in some way or another whether it's methodology or the stats or the sample size/composition. Not a single real in vivo study. None. There is exactly one researcher in Greece doing decent work, and that's it. I took a career change from my previous and now present career and worked in pharma and biotech research.
- Former smoker, current vaper. I know inhaling anything other than clean air isn't good for me, and I know nicotine addiction isn't good. I plan on quitting, and I'm making decent progress to that point.
  But it bugs the shit out of me when people try to act like it's worse than cigarettes. It's not. Shitty Chinese vapes marketed to kids that we don't know the ingredients of? Sure, ban em. Black market vapes made in some dudes garage with oil? Absolutely track em down and end that man's whole career.
  But properly made, regulated vape juice in a rebuildable tank? Leave me the fuck alone. Please. Please do not take the thing that has helped millions of people quit smoking!
  Can you link me any decent articles to help the next time someone says some dumb reactionary shit?
- Are you a lung doctor or are you someone who vapes and wants to be able to maintain the illusion that it isn't harmful?