Security!

With his fragile ego, I’d spend the entire time asking if he could smell that awful smell. I’d ask him to check the bottoms of his shoes, drawing more and more attention and increasing his discomfort, all the while pretending that I’ve never heard of Elon Musk.

Putting this tactic in my back pocket for uncomfortable social interactions.
- The only way to survive uncomfortable social interactions is to become one with them.
"That's okay, I forget to brush my teeth some mornings as well."

I'd like to think that I'd find a quick easy way to Luigi him but I know I'd just stare and look around for his security and be questioning my life choices that I was in the same room.

Why the fuck are you spending so much money getting to a dead planet when you could be spending money to save a living one?

There’s no magnetic field. What’s his long term plan there?
My guess is it’s a billionaire “I wanna” thing and it goes no further than that.
Cause no one owns mars yet.
Pretty obvious answer.
- That we know of yet
Essentially, space / mars have no laws.
Because it's better to have a backup than to put all your eggs in one basket.
- Leave Mars alone. It is deeply immoral to send people there now. People have no business going there until we have thoroughly explored it and ruled out the possibility of indigenous microbial life. By studying such life, we may prove a second Genesis or prove the theory of panspermia. Either would have profound implications for our knowledge of the abundance of life in the universe. If we contaminate Mars, which sending humans would inevitably do, we may have to go all the way to another star system before we get another chance at answering these questions.
  Let the billionaire space cadets stick to the asteroids and the Moon. Leave Mars the Hell alone. If after a few centuries of exploration we've thoroughly ruled out the presence of indigenous life, only then can we consider putting actual human beings on the surface.
He is not even expending on Mars. He is just saying he is expending on Mars in order to get funding a be more rich.

I would ask him who he is. Then when he gets upset that I don't recognize him and he gives me his name I say "hmmm, never heard of you."

Watch is ego implode.

"You look like a guy I saw in an episode of Rick and Morty" Smile "Elon Tusk?" "No Mr Poopy Butthole"
- No this can't be right, Mr poopy butthole is a good and likable character.
"Musk? Like the supermarket grade perfume? Did you know musk comes from glandular secretions? The word comes from 'testicle' because the gland looks like a scrotum." Give a couple of sniffs... "Oh wow, that's amazing!"

I’d slap him. I don’t fucking care, I’m dying from societal neglect and welfare failings and like literally 0.00001% of his wealth could fix all my problems, you have to be inherently selfish to hoard all that wealth (not to mention be inherently evil to get it in the first place).

(this is a joke, I wouldn’t put it past Musk for suing for verbal assault or something)

fuck being sued this country needs a story like that in the news
But first you gotta ask him "does your mother sew?"

"What happened to your concern about climate change?"

Followed by

"You've completely debased yourself by supporting the one guy who will destroy the planet. And for what? A slight to your ego because Biden gave you the cold shoulder once? You are a huge thin-skinned bitch and will be remembered as one"

Shortest answer is always money. The richest man got much richer and plans to get richer yet after this.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/economy/elon-musk-put-277-million-into-the-election-he-s-200-billion-richer-this-year/ar-AA1vTrEZ
Elon Musk’s net worth has climbed by more than $200 billion in 2024, a massive increase in the same year that the world’s richest person spent at least $277 million backing Donald Trump and other Republican candidates.
The bulk of the increase, more than $170 billion, has come since Election Day.
You've completely debased yourself by supporting the one guy who will destroy the planet.
He's going to make millions and get disproportionate power in government that he never would have gotten otherwise.
- *billions
- He's also attached himself to a fickle narcissist with a long history of throwing people away like tissues when they become slightly inconvenient, even at the cost of long-term value.
  Musk knows that if Trump ditches him, he loses a hundred billion + in stock paper value, pretty much immediately. That's a lot of leverage and a lot of reason to stay on his good side.
  It'll be interesting to see how it plays out.
Oh, he knows about climate change. Even if he was ever on the side of fixing it, he's clearly trying to just save himself now.

pretend not to know who he is

If my reaction the first time I saw a cybertruck IRL is any indication, I'd scream.

Mine was point and laugh, but I would react the same if seeing him IRL.

Just prerend you dont know him, and just refer to him as this "new older intern"

Just chat casually pretending to have never heard of him and keep striking nerves by talking about stuff like family and friends and casually talking about things he thinks he understands but correcting him about them.

Thunder!

"Hey, does this rag smell like ~~chloroform~~ neurotoxin to you?"

I know we're not supposed to invite violence. So this is pure satire ;-)
huh, I guess that your pericardium isn't stab proof. Who would have thunk?

Do you follow this Elon guy on Twitter? He says the stupidest shit.

"It's obvious you're just mad that your daughter is trans and that Grimes left you, everyone can tell"

"How's the catgirls thing going?"

trans catgirls for more trolling

Your face looks weird. Have you had surgery?

Show him this picture and just ask "Why?".

"Matrix"

Who did your hairplugs? I'd probably get my money back.

I'd just leave myself. Words mean nothing to fascists; I'd be wasting my breath and sitting at his table.

I would literally pretend I had absolutely no clue who he was or any familiarity with any of his "achievements" or why they're "important". It would be pretty funny to see him try to respond to that.

What's a stab wound feel like?

Lol you think his 24 bodyguards will let you near him?

Hes desperate for attention, hed love you to talk to him.
Probably not so much once the awkward questions started, though.
Tell him you have a-grade ketamine...

"Can I have a dollar?"

If he says yes, and give me a dollar, I'd wait for him to put his wallet away and then ask,

"Can I have another dollar?"

And then do this on repeat until he stops.

"No sorry, I only carry hundred dollar notes with me."

Lean over and whisper in his ear, "everyone hates you."

Something that would just..utterly fuck his brain for a while. If there was something that would motivate him into an Ebenezer scrooge character arc, I'd be so down.

If I had stealth techniques available to me, i would consider it.

"At least Pvt Manning traded her mental health for doing something heroic. You went crazy for whst? Financial gain and more kids to hate you?"

Remember when most people who had heard of you liked you? Wouldn’t a genius be able to keep that good image?

Move my seat behind him and flick paper footballs at the back of his head.

Tell him about trains without saying trains and hope for the best

Just a normal train, but it has RGB lights and a touchscreen on each seat...

I keep a Ka-Bar on my desk at all times, it doent take that long to bleed out when the artery in the kneck in severed.

Woah, we got a real badass over here.
- Nah, just got a lot of knives. Mostly use the Ka-bar for opening cat food and food packaging, because I have destroyed so many shitty folding knives. Also I use it for opening bottles.
  As for the artery thing I was going to make a choke about Musk having a weirdly thick neck but I forgot it and just kinda left the comment.

Does this rag smell like bromine to you?

"How was it servicing trump?"

The only question I'd have for someone like him is.

"Do you think even the worst person can change...? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try?" And then I'd try my hand at fighting him after I got through the Sans Undertale speech.

"Bet you can't end world hunger"

"Excuse me?"

"So, Bezos was right?"

"Now listen here you little shit.."

You do realize, until you get help, you're always going to hate yourself; you'll never be happy. Right?

"Trump surrounds himself with Yes Men who constantly just kiss his ass.... Is that why you two get along so well?"

Or on a more realistic note I'd ask him about climate change and try to understand what twisted logic he's using to justify his actions.

You’re giving him too much time to explain his stupidity.

"How many billions is enough?"

I'm guessing the answer would be something like "It's never enough."

Elon, if you developed a really ferocious strain of ass-cancer, do you think it would affect your entire body?

It depends. Am I armed?

Can I please be seated anywhere else

"Hey, man, like what the fuck? Actually tho."

I'd ask for his wife's number

What's it like to have all your kids hate you?

"One day a man invited him into a richly furnished house, saying 'be careful not to spit on the floor.' Diogenes, who needed to spit, spat in his face, exclaiming that it was the only dirty place he could find where spitting was permitted."

Excuse me, but you look familiar. Where do I know you from? Elon Musk? Do you sell perfume? X.com? Is that a porn site?

I would kindly ask him to shove a cactus up his ass :3

I’d ask him how his values were so easily changed by a comedian and his roving troupe of rude boys.

Musk: They weren't, I just stopped lying about them.

"I brought you a cup of hot novachuk tea."

How's your family?

"get out of my sun"

"Your bones will look the same as the homeless guy out front's"

Can I ask the question with my ass? I would rip the loudest, wettest, stankiest fart and then blame it on him.

"How many of your kids hate you?"

He’s got too much of a savior complex for that to work. His view would be that any good for himself is by definition good for everyone on net.
I’m reminded of that Sam Altman quote “Elon desperately wants the world to be saved. But only if he can be the one to save it."

"Slow, or quick?"

I don’t know if I’ll give him a handy, but you do you

hey look its welfare guy.

You already know. You don't even have to ask. You know exactly what any one of us on this site would do to Elon Musk or Donald Trump behind closed doors, and you know without even thinking about it for a second.

...whatever it may be.

"What the fuck, dude."

Is this site full of 12 year olds or what the fuck is this comment section? You guys are absolutely ridiculous.

what did you expect? Well-adjusted people begging for moneyman's attention and recognition? That's disgusting. Get real.
- Look at the username, clearly a musk fanboy under the same delusional views
No you

"were you dropped as a baby or are you just removed?"

"Can I have moneys plz"

"Please stop headbutting my fist"

Hey bro here is my bank account details. You know I only need a few million bucks.

Do you actually care about Trump, or do you want to ensure Tesla has no competition

Nothing, because that's not elon and he wouldn't answer

Do you ever think about the consequences of what you do?

Fully ignoring his existence, I'd lean over to whomever is on my other side and ask to switch seats. No other questions.