Security!

With his fragile ego, I’d spend the entire time asking if he could smell that awful smell. I’d ask him to check the bottoms of his shoes, drawing more and more attention and increasing his discomfort, all the while pretending that I’ve never heard of Elon Musk.

I would ask him who he is. Then when he gets upset that I don't recognize him and he gives me his name I say "hmmm, never heard of you."

Watch is ego implode.

I'd like to think that I'd find a quick easy way to Luigi him but I know I'd just stare and look around for his security and be questioning my life choices that I was in the same room.

I’d slap him. I don’t fucking care, I’m dying from societal neglect and welfare failings and like literally 0.00001% of his wealth could fix all my problems, you have to be inherently selfish to hoard all that wealth (not to mention be inherently evil to get it in the first place).

(this is a joke, I wouldn’t put it past Musk for suing for verbal assault or something)

Why the fuck are you spending so much money getting to a dead planet when you could be spending money to save a living one?

I would literally pretend I had absolutely no clue who he was or any familiarity with any of his "achievements" or why they're "important". It would be pretty funny to see him try to respond to that.

pretend not to know who he is

"What happened to your concern about climate change?"

Followed by

"You've completely debased yourself by supporting the one guy who will destroy the planet. And for what? A slight to your ego because Biden gave you the cold shoulder once? You are a huge thin-skinned bitch and will be remembered as one"

Show him this picture and just ask "Why?".

If my reaction the first time I saw a cybertruck IRL is any indication, I'd scream.

Just prerend you dont know him, and just refer to him as this "new older intern"

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform neurotoxin to you?"

Do you follow this Elon guy on Twitter? He says the stupidest shit.

"Can I have a dollar?"

If he says yes, and give me a dollar, I'd wait for him to put his wallet away and then ask,

"Can I have another dollar?"

And then do this on repeat until he stops.

"It's obvious you're just mad that your daughter is trans and that Grimes left you, everyone can tell"

I'd just leave myself. Words mean nothing to fascists; I'd be wasting my breath and sitting at his table.

Who did your hairplugs? I'd probably get my money back.

"How's the catgirls thing going?"

Tell him about trains without saying trains and hope for the best

You've gone from being perceived as an inspiring intelligent neurodiverse outsider, to an evil good for nothing oligarch. Can you imagine what the impact would be if you would announce tomorrow, that you would give all or most of your shares to the employees that work for your companies, and you would state to the world that having (hecto)billionaires is dangerous and immoral, and that being one you experienced first hand that it is psychologically harmful, that you lost sense of who you were, but now want to return to your innocence.

Your face looks weird. Have you had surgery?

"One day a man invited him into a richly furnished house, saying 'be careful not to spit on the floor.' Diogenes, who needed to spit, spat in his face, exclaiming that it was the only dirty place he could find where spitting was permitted."

"How many of your kids hate you?"

"Bet you can't end world hunger"

"Excuse me?"

"So, Bezos was right?"

"Now listen here you little shit.."

The only question I'd have for someone like him is.

"Do you think even the worst person can change...? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try?" And then I'd try my hand at fighting him after I got through the Sans Undertale speech.

Lol you think his 24 bodyguards will let you near him?

"Trump surrounds himself with Yes Men who constantly just kiss his ass.... Is that why you two get along so well?"

Or on a more realistic note I'd ask him about climate change and try to understand what twisted logic he's using to justify his actions.

What's a stab wound feel like?

I’d ask him how his values were so easily changed by a comedian and his roving troupe of rude boys.

I keep a Ka-Bar on my desk at all times, it doent take that long to bleed out when the artery in the kneck in severed.

Remember when most people who had heard of you liked you? Wouldn’t a genius be able to keep that good image?

Excuse me, but you look familiar. Where do I know you from? Elon Musk? Do you sell perfume? X.com? Is that a porn site?

Move my seat behind him and flick paper footballs at the back of his head.

Elon, if you developed a really ferocious strain of ass-cancer, do you think it would affect your entire body?

Lean over and whisper in his ear, "everyone hates you."

Something that would just..utterly fuck his brain for a while. If there was something that would motivate him into an Ebenezer scrooge character arc, I'd be so down.

If I had stealth techniques available to me, i would consider it.

Does this rag smell like bromine to you?

hey look its welfare guy.

You do realize, until you get help, you're always going to hate yourself; you'll never be happy. Right?

"How was it servicing trump?"

It depends. Am I armed?

"How many billions is enough?"

I'm guessing the answer would be something like "It's never enough."

"Hey, man, like what the fuck? Actually tho."

I'd ask for his wife's number

Can I ask the question with my ass? I would rip the loudest, wettest, stankiest fart and then blame it on him.

Can I please be seated anywhere else

What's it like to have all your kids hate you?

"Have you ever done something good that didn't have any benefit for yourself?"

The answer is obviously no, but it would be fun to dismantle his ego.

I would kindly ask him to shove a cactus up his ass :3

How's your family?

"get out of my sun"

"I brought you a cup of hot novachuk tea."

"What the fuck, dude."

You already know. You don't even have to ask. You know exactly what any one of us on this site would do to Elon Musk or Donald Trump behind closed doors, and you know without even thinking about it for a second.

...whatever it may be.

"Please stop headbutting my fist"

"Slow, or quick?"

Nothing, because that's not elon and he wouldn't answer

Hey bro here is my bank account details. You know I only need a few million bucks.

Do you ever think about the consequences of what you do?

Is this site full of 12 year olds or what the fuck is this comment section? You guys are absolutely ridiculous.

"were you dropped as a baby or are you just removed?"

Do you actually care about Trump, or do you want to ensure Tesla has no competition

How were Trumps McDonalds burgers? Like, are they better than what they feed the peasants?

Fully ignoring his existence, I'd lean over to whomever is on my other side and ask to switch seats. No other questions.

I would stand up, turn around, and rip ass in his face

"Can I have moneys plz"