Security!

With his fragile ego, I’d spend the entire time asking if he could smell that awful smell. I’d ask him to check the bottoms of his shoes, drawing more and more attention and increasing his discomfort, all the while pretending that I’ve never heard of Elon Musk.

I'd like to think that I'd find a quick easy way to Luigi him but I know I'd just stare and look around for his security and be questioning my life choices that I was in the same room.

Why the fuck are you spending so much money getting to a dead planet when you could be spending money to save a living one?

I would ask him who he is. Then when he gets upset that I don't recognize him and he gives me his name I say "hmmm, never heard of you."

Watch is ego implode.

I’d slap him. I don’t fucking care, I’m dying from societal neglect and welfare failings and like literally 0.00001% of his wealth could fix all my problems, you have to be inherently selfish to hoard all that wealth (not to mention be inherently evil to get it in the first place).

(this is a joke, I wouldn’t put it past Musk for suing for verbal assault or something)

"What happened to your concern about climate change?"

Followed by

"You've completely debased yourself by supporting the one guy who will destroy the planet. And for what? A slight to your ego because Biden gave you the cold shoulder once? You are a huge thin-skinned bitch and will be remembered as one"

pretend not to know who he is

If my reaction the first time I saw a cybertruck IRL is any indication, I'd scream.

Just prerend you dont know him, and just refer to him as this "new older intern"

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform neurotoxin to you?"

Do you follow this Elon guy on Twitter? He says the stupidest shit.

"It's obvious you're just mad that your daughter is trans and that Grimes left you, everyone can tell"

"How's the catgirls thing going?"

Your face looks weird. Have you had surgery?

Who did your hairplugs? I'd probably get my money back.

Show him this picture and just ask "Why?".

I would literally pretend I had absolutely no clue who he was or any familiarity with any of his "achievements" or why they're "important". It would be pretty funny to see him try to respond to that.

I'd just leave myself. Words mean nothing to fascists; I'd be wasting my breath and sitting at his table.

What's a stab wound feel like?

"Can I have a dollar?"

If he says yes, and give me a dollar, I'd wait for him to put his wallet away and then ask,

"Can I have another dollar?"

And then do this on repeat until he stops.

Lol you think his 24 bodyguards will let you near him?

Remember when most people who had heard of you liked you? Wouldn’t a genius be able to keep that good image?

Lean over and whisper in his ear, "everyone hates you."

Something that would just..utterly fuck his brain for a while. If there was something that would motivate him into an Ebenezer scrooge character arc, I'd be so down.

If I had stealth techniques available to me, i would consider it.

Move my seat behind him and flick paper footballs at the back of his head.

Tell him about trains without saying trains and hope for the best

I keep a Ka-Bar on my desk at all times, it doent take that long to bleed out when the artery in the kneck in severed.

Does this rag smell like bromine to you?

"How was it servicing trump?"

The only question I'd have for someone like him is.

"Do you think even the worst person can change...? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try?" And then I'd try my hand at fighting him after I got through the Sans Undertale speech.

"How many billions is enough?"

I'm guessing the answer would be something like "It's never enough."

You do realize, until you get help, you're always going to hate yourself; you'll never be happy. Right?

"Bet you can't end world hunger"

"Excuse me?"

"So, Bezos was right?"

"Now listen here you little shit.."

"Trump surrounds himself with Yes Men who constantly just kiss his ass.... Is that why you two get along so well?"

Or on a more realistic note I'd ask him about climate change and try to understand what twisted logic he's using to justify his actions.

Elon, if you developed a really ferocious strain of ass-cancer, do you think it would affect your entire body?

It depends. Am I armed?

Can I please be seated anywhere else

You've gone from being perceived as an inspiring intelligent neurodiverse outsider, to an evil good for nothing oligarch. Can you imagine what the impact would be if you would announce tomorrow, that you would give all or most of your shares to the employees that work for your companies, and you would state to the world that having (hecto)billionaires is dangerous and immoral, and that being one you experienced first hand that it is psychologically harmful, that you lost sense of who you were, but now want to return to your innocence.

"Hey, man, like what the fuck? Actually tho."

What's it like to have all your kids hate you?

I'd ask for his wife's number

"One day a man invited him into a richly furnished house, saying 'be careful not to spit on the floor.' Diogenes, who needed to spit, spat in his face, exclaiming that it was the only dirty place he could find where spitting was permitted."

Excuse me, but you look familiar. Where do I know you from? Elon Musk? Do you sell perfume? X.com? Is that a porn site?

I would kindly ask him to shove a cactus up his ass :3

I’d ask him how his values were so easily changed by a comedian and his roving troupe of rude boys.

"get out of my sun"

"I brought you a cup of hot novachuk tea."

How's your family?

Can I ask the question with my ass? I would rip the loudest, wettest, stankiest fart and then blame it on him.

"How many of your kids hate you?"

"Slow, or quick?"

hey look its welfare guy.

You already know. You don't even have to ask. You know exactly what any one of us on this site would do to Elon Musk or Donald Trump behind closed doors, and you know without even thinking about it for a second.

...whatever it may be.

"were you dropped as a baby or are you just removed?"

"What the fuck, dude."

Is this site full of 12 year olds or what the fuck is this comment section? You guys are absolutely ridiculous.

Do you ever think about the consequences of what you do?

Hey bro here is my bank account details. You know I only need a few million bucks.

"Can I have moneys plz"

"Please stop headbutting my fist"

Fully ignoring his existence, I'd lean over to whomever is on my other side and ask to switch seats. No other questions.

Do you actually care about Trump, or do you want to ensure Tesla has no competition

Nothing, because that's not elon and he wouldn't answer