Anon thinks there is a bicurious double standard

I wouldn't consider a woman that drops a guy for this reason to be a progressive.

You would be suprised by how much of the left hates bisexuals, without realizing that makes them as bad as any other bigot
- I've had these conversations with people before. I was telling a fellow man how I don't care if my partner is bi. He said something like "woah man, there can be some major trust issues there" implying that her "homosexual needs" will lead her to cheat on me with my sister or something. I didn't follow his logic.

People like this are the progressive version of evangelicals. And like with Christianity they don't get called out enough to keep it from becoming a major problem.

Villainizing male sexuality is why we have a whole new generation boys heading into alt right circles and so far the response has been a variant of telling them to 'man up.' And its going to get a lot worse before it gets even a little better.

This is the root of the problem with much of the discussion around male identity online.
Women finally, and rightfully, gained a voice, and plenty of dudes listened. Many of them, not really understanding feminism as an academic discipline or having any real sympathy towards any aspect of being a man, used that voice to point of the many issues faced by women in the world and to fight for women.
Where this falls apart is that because of the lack of real understanding regarding feminism and the concept of patriarchy, a lot of it boiled down to "shut up, the women are talking" and "we don't care about your problems"
None of this makes the problems away, none of this is really geared towards equality, and much of it is just switching the genders on deeply toxic patriarchal power structures that were used to oppress women for centuries.
When you think about how stupid 90% of the people involved on both sides of this discourse online are, it's of little surprise so many women went looking for easy answers from hucksters who pitched exploitation and oppression as empowerment.
- I really liked bell hooks's approach to this. She focuses on incorporating male problems into feminism as a focal point, not excluding them.

This post is bi-reasiure

Um, no. I am an old Xer lady and we know men can be bi too. And like the ladies... sexuality is on a continuum. Some people just love to canoodle with young beautiful bodies no matter what flavor... and as we get older, old beautiful kind considerate people.

The funniest part about this to me is that the AIDs epidemic actually forced medical researchers to accept that sometimes guys have sex with other guys, and they even created the term "Men who have Sex with Men" or MSM to cover this fact, since they aren't necessarily gay or bi.

Like, society needs to get over this. Sometimes people have sex with other people. Sometimes they happen to be different genders, sometimes they're the same. It only means whatever it means to the people fucking and little else

Did they say no homo first?
- The no homo spell kills aids.
- No but they kept their socks on so it's good

There's a streamer who I use to follow. Use to because she slowly went alt right. Anyway, one of her hangups with partners was refusing to date any man she suspected of being bi because she didn't want a penis that was up an ass in her. She also believes that most men are bisexual. She probably only dates men who are vocally homophobic.

She also believes that most men are bisexual.
It's funny, because I see so much bi-erasure among gay friends. The idea that every dude is a 6 on the Kinsey Scale and just suffering through straight sex because they don't know any better is stubbornly resilient.
- I mean, yeah. Most men are probably somewhat bi, but the idea that most men will seek out other men or even admit to not being repulsed by other men is laughable.
  I remember back in highschool, a guy being so defensive, he wouldn't even describe what another guy looked like. I'm a straight guy, but I don't have any issues being able to describe another guy as conventionally attractive.
So, she refuses anal... does she also refuse oral?
- I know she makes her boy friends buy new sex toys cause instead of reusing one from previous partners. Honestly, anyone who would actually get with her deserves everything.
Do the men she fucks not wash their junk?
bi-/homophobic steamer went alt right you say?
sounds like she didn't really "go" alt right as much as she came out as alt right. phrasing intended.
- Her pronouns became alt/right you say?
- True, but that's semantics and I wasn't going to write an essay on my phone.
Easy solution, only date bottoms
She probably only dates men who are vocally homophobic.
You mean the ones who're in the closet?

Women will leave him? I'm surprised to hear this.

I'm not. I've seen it happen many times to friends. Straight girls can make out drunk at a bar/party and that's the end of it, but two men doing so are absolutely and irreversiblly gay.
It's just yet another facet of gender enforcement and cishet normalization. Heck during the first season of Love is Blind an engaged couple breaks up because he admitted to his fiance that he has slept with men before. Not that reality TV relationships are real relationships, but there are vast majority of women who see it as a deal breaker.
Unless of course you're just doubting anon talks to women at all. In which case, yeah... sus... 😒
- I assumed anon is a woman, based on the picture.
  Since she's on 4chan she still probably doesn't talk to women.
In my experience, gay men are much more poly-curious than straight women. So "bi" can easily be clocked as "cheating" from a certain perspective.
And there's definitely a lingering existential "what if my man's gay and he leaves me for another dude?" dread that I've seen more than one straight woman grapple with, particularly if the guy they're with is pushing 2+ on the Kinsey scale.
Tag in the Reddit-style "Dump him, he's not good for you!" social media vibe, and you'll get women who end a relationship because they would rather do the breaking-up than be on the receiving end.
- "what if my man's gay and he leaves me for another dude?"
  I hate stupid people. Like what if my "girlfriend is gay and leaves me for a woman?", "what if my girlfriend is straight and leaves me for a different man?", sounds like insecurity to me. Work on yourself and your insecurity and find someone who is loyal and commited to you. Their sexual orientation does not fucking matter and will not have any effect on weather or not they cheat on you if they do.
- Sounds like a problem solving itself. Being on the other end of toxic insecurity is fucked.

I think the difference is the perceived energy barrier if one wanted to fool around on their partner if they a bi vs het.

A bi guy could, hypothetically, find a guy on grindr pretty much on a whim if he wanted to. This is a much lower barrier than straight guys face unless they seek a sex worker. If you are a woman in the early stages of dating someone, where you don't know yet how much you can trust a guy, if a guy tells you he is bi that can come off as a higher cheating risk than a straight guy.

Straight guys dating a bi-girl don't have a similar perceived risk increase. Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as 'cheating', vs a bonus for his enjoyment. But also - finding a new girl to date is considered harder than finding an interested guy. So the 'cheating' risk doesn't feel that much higher for guys dating a bi-girl compared to a straight girl; he may feel like he is still mostly competing against other guys.

Is this fair or even realistic? No, this is based on perceived stereotypes rather than the behaviors and character of individuals.

But this plays out at a stage of dating where people don't know each other well yet and are relying on heuristics.

So they prefer to be with someone who would cheat at the first occasion but the occasion is hard to find than with someone who has no problem to find an occasion but decides not to?
I'd rather be disappointed early than wasting years on a scumbag
- To be fair, this kind of kinetics-as-pevention works.
  I use this strategy to prevent eating too many snacks -- I do not keep them at home. I can't have them if they are not here. If 90% of the time I would "choose" not to have chips, not-having-them stops me the other 10%
Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment.
Oh boy is that a land-mine I've stepped on.
A real, "wait I don't understand what do you mean you're in love with her?" moment that rang my bell back in my 20s. And then they ran off and got married. Which... hey, at some point how can you even be mad? They were clearly very happy together. Still sort of sucks to find out your axle was actually a third wheel.

I'm just saying: as a guy, this is not the only double standard, and not the only thing that people see as "you did it once so you're $thing forever" that guys go through.

It's probably one of the most notable though.

As men, we deal with a lot of judgemental shit and we're expected to deal with it "like a man"... Whatever the fuck that means.

Another good example of this is crying. If you have a mental breakdown and fall into a crying fit, people will brand you as a cry baby or some shit, and that will stay with you for a long ass time.

There's so much more. I don't have time to think of, nor detail any of it. Any fellas that have examples, I invite you too add them in reply. Ladies, you can too. And anyone else can, honestly; let's not forget our non-binary family.

I've had two relationships with women immediately go downhill after I cried in front of them. It was like someone flipped a switch and turned off any physical attraction they had to me.

Just shows how deeply ingrained power relations are in society with an unproportional low complementing awareness and reflection about it.

It makes me bifurious

Bi men here, progressive women are not like that. Only "progressive" (read: plays lip service to some popular cause, until it's popular, often are TERFs etc.) do that, and you just need to skip on them, for more than one reason. I almost dated one, she turned out to be a "progressive" anti-abortionist, because "babies are people too", and "you can just use contraception".

Let's not "no true scotsman" this, that only leads to madness.
This is comment is proof the LGBT people can lie too... "Its not the good ones, only the evil ones".
Meanwhile, almost every other guy in the world that admits to sucking a cock even once and hes kicked out of the "youre so hot" gang forever by some progressive women. And no, its not just the ones its ok to hate cos social media said so.
- Found the incel.

If everyone just embraced being queer, everything would be ok. Sex and relationships can barely survive identity politics, old school or new.

"Straight" just cause you are in a relationship with a member of another sex doesn't make you straight.

Yeah that's the point
- Not really, it's about different perception of bisexuals depending on their gender.

Initial reaction: there's no way that's real

After reading the comments: what the fuck

I am shocked too wtf. I feel bad for men who went through that BS.

My current girlfriend is cool with it, but she's absolutely fantastic about pretty much everything.

One of my exs on the other hand was a bit more aggressive and weird about it. She had a lot of toxic masculinity beliefs going on.

The real issue I have is that a lot of them think its hot, along with some of the other things I may have been into at one point. It's a bit of a struggle to explain that I'm not asking for more, I'm just being transparent to avoid a potential bombshell being dropped in the future. I don't have the energy for a polycule, to bother with a third, or anything in the lifestyle anymore.

Ive said it once, Ive said it a thousand times. No one pushes toxic masculinity like women do.

Heteropatriarchal system

When I was fairly younger, I was in a relationship with a woman who told me that if she were to learn that I had sex with a man, especially bottoming but also topping (she didn't use those terms, she used bad terms), then she would feel disgusted and betrayed and would never feel attracted to me again or see me as a man again.

I said to her that I was disappointed in her, that she had internalised homophobia and that she was a massive hypocrite. Her self proclaimed best male friend presented to the world as flamingly gay, and she was openly bi herself, not as in "I would totally fuck women cause I like the idea of it", bus as in she had fucked women before and would do it again. Apparently she deserves to be fucked by a real man, which apparently bi men are not.

So...yeah, you can be a loudly proclaimed ally AND a member of the LGBTQ community yourself, and still be a disgusting homophobe right alongside the best of bigots.

I have a similar story to share.
When I was in my early 20s I briefly dated a girl who told me she was having feelings for another woman and was being curious, she eventually broke up with me in order to be with her, but we remained good friends after that.
Eventually she came out as a lesbian and when I told her that I was bi she immediately ended our friendship all even yelled some slurs at me.
AFAIK she's married with a guy and has kids now
- Sorry you had to experience this bullshit. I think people like that lack the emotional intelligence to see other people as equals. Instead they only value them as much as whatever personal satisfaction they extract out of them. Intrinsically you've lost nothing of value that day, but I know the sudden betrayal of the friendship you thought you had can be shocking and hurtful.
- Wow, that's some intense double standards there.
- Eventually she came out as a lesbian and when I told her that I was bi she immediately ended our friendship
  Can't really imagine it. Even stubborn homophobes do not end friendship over someone coming out. A lot of them just become curious and eventually accepting. Am not LGBTQ+ though, so my judgement is kinda not reliable, but still.
  The woman you're talking about is exceptionally weird and she can go fuck herself
Apparently she deserves to be fucked by a real man, which apparently bi men are not.
I would categorize it as a weird fetish and leave her by herself with it

I’m in my mid thirties, and I’m a bi woman who tends to go for bi men. I was once chatting about one of my exes with my dad and same aged stepsister, when she expressed deep surprise that I would be willing to date a man who had dated a man. My dad agreed, which is par for the course, but I could not for the life of me get a believable answer from my stepsister as to why that would be a dealbreaker.

She had been part of the GSA in one of the most progressive towns in America and was at that time in first cohort of women to join a previously men-only fraternity at her college, so she definitely falls under the progressive umbrella.

I literally can’t think of a reason except for donating blood, but that wasn’t it.

It may be a byproduct of some dating issues from before her time dating that got passed down to her. Namely, that lots of gay men were in the closet, and ended up leaving their wife/girlfriend when they came out. And that could have carried through to women thinking it was that, because it's easier to think the person leaving you doesn't want women, not just doesn't want you.
Hopefully that mentality just disappears on its own after awhile. I think it's already on its way out.
I mean you kinda said the reason yourself: "[she] join[ed] a previously men-only fraternity at her college". Of course I'm only speculating.
The people she surrounded herself with probably thought that way and thus she thought that way. Most people do not think critically about their beliefs very much, yes even most progressives are just progressives because of the people around them.
- So, this woman is an asshole and you big brained your way to blaming men for it??? lol Did you get a temp ban from Reddit or something?
- Tbh, the fraternity was pretty inclusive. It wasn’t required that they go coed, they just decided to. I do wonder what she’s like now that she’s a lot further removed from her hometown, but I know she’s at least still heavily anti-trump.
I literally can’t think of a reason except for donating blood, but that wasn’t it.
What is the correlation between donating blood and being homophobic ?
- Gay and bi men are often excluded from donating due to higher HIV risk I believe.
- For a long time (at least through the late 2010s and possibly still now, I’m no longer a good candidate to donate for other reasons), you couldn’t donate if you were a man who had sex with men (MSM) or if you had had sex with a MSM recently (6 months-2 years). Your own condom use was irrelevant.
  I did once decide to stick with hands only with someone because I had an appointment to donate blood later that week. My stepsister wasn’t aware of that restriction though and I can’t imagine it’s the presiding reason why a lot of even queer women aren’t interested in bi men, given the demographics of blood donation.
  There are a lot of wild things that preclude you from donating blood depending on where you live though, including time spent in the UK during the mad cow disease spike, even if you were a vegan. I understand that blood donation organizations are working with such large numbers and such a small margin for error that they would rather exclude a thousand good candidates than let one bad candidate donate, but it ends up being extremely discriminatory. I looked for some recent numbers, and it is true that even today the majority of new HIV cases occur in MSM or people who have sex with MSM, but given how widespread HIV suppression treatment is (in the US), correct condom usage reduces that risk to nearly zero.

I'm a woman who is straight AF, not a bicurious-bone in my body that I've discovered yet, and I'm having a casual fling with a bisexual dude. It doesn't bother me at all, he's hot as fuck, sweet as hell, we have a good time together, and I have better things to do with my life than sit around and brood about the gender of his previous partners.

But why do you care? Why does it matter? How does it affect you in any material way?

Fucking a twink is the manliness thing a man can do and if anyone wants to disagree with that I’ll fuck you too and I’m straight as fuck.

Twinks are feminine, so fucking a twink is also feminine and that's gay. The manliest thing you can do is fuck the manliest guy you can find.
- Coincidentally, that is also what you should do on your first day in prison. Or so they told me, I dunno
  EDIT: Wait... was it beat OFF the manliest guy or beat UP? Hmmm... doesn't matter. Everybody liked me after anyway.
I'm sorry, but you are completely wrong
;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xxiK6Z4eXs&t=202s
- Been looking for this recently. Thank you!

FAKE: anon thinks girls are real GAY: anon wants to fuck a twink

good news, those red flags are getting out of your way.

better them gone than polluting your potential partner pool.

taking the post at plain value, it would be a lot cooler if less people were homophobic against bi men. i dont want all the assholes to stay away from me, i want them to be decent people.
- So just throw gay men under the bus? Because this whole thing is just homophobia.

While I there is a kernel of truth about the whole gay men stereotype I can't say I ever met a girl who would date or dumped a guy if she learned he had a bi/gay phase. The only thing that comes close was the guy who got dumped cause he cheated on his gf with her gay best friend.

Hell I had a girl actually try to hook up with me because she heard a rumor I did something with a twink (I hadn't) and wanted set up some weird love triangle with her bi twink friend. I backed away from that one cause it was clear the guy crushed bad for her and there was no way that relationship was going to end with everyone walking away content.

There are legitimate reasons for avoiding bi people in a straight relationship. Straight folks use contraceptives a fair bit more frequently than gay folks, for instance, leading to lower sti rates. Risk of infection is a legitimate concern and an awkward conversation in a fledgling relationship.

But, from what I’ve seen, it’s largely just not understanding how you’re meant to act in a relationship with a bi person and ingrained bigotry. Everyone is at least a little jealous, but you can’t remove your partner from the entire populace. Half is a big ask but doable. 100% is just abuse. Despite the world becoming safer and more accepting, we’re still dumb animals that ping ancient and irrelevant instruction sets, and ostracism is one of the oldest.

Dude... Bi people still do monogamy and a lot of them don't want polyamory or cheating. If you have a problem keeping to a single person that's a you thing, don't project it onto others.
Calling it "abuse" is really fucking weird.
- Apologies for copy pasting but,
  To be clear, this paragraph where I state that it’s largely bigotry and insecurity that drives potential partners away, it read as though it was written about me and my specific perspective on my dating bi people?
MLM actually have higher condom use rates than MLW. It wasn't the case before AIDS, because they didn't have to worry about pregnancy and all of the STIs were pretty treatable, but they pivoted once they had a compelling reason.
Jesus christ, if you're so insecure you can't bear the thought of your partner being in proximity to ANYONE else, maybe you're the abuser here
- To be clear, this paragraph where I state that it’s largely bigotry and insecurity that drives potential partners away, it read as though it was written about me and my specific perspective on my dating bi people?
Username checks out
- 26
  Could you list a point I made that you’d disagree with? Aside from contraception use, I take that one back.
You have to check that with EVERY sexual partner, not just gay or bi ones.
aaand thats why most of them just shut the fuck up and keep the past adventures to themselves
you usually don't talk in detail about previous women either.
I suspect that men who have sex with men are more prone to STIs because they have a lot more sex with a much wider pool of partners, not because they're less careful statistically.
I'm straight and I couldn't give a fuck less who a partner fucked before me so long as it was legal and ethical.

Yes, that was an episode of Insecure.

Maybe being gay is a weakness. If a woman wants a strong husband, is that regressive?

Lol gym bros are some of the gayest fucking straight people you'll ever meet, but gay = weak tooootally. You're funny
Maybe being gay is a weakness.
Lol at you trying to frame blatant homophobia as an "innocent" question. Do you also do birthdays you fucking clown.
If a woman wants a strong husband, is that regressive ?
"If someone doesn't want to date outside their race, is that regressive?"
If your reasoning for not being attracted to someone, is because what they are makes them seen as "inferior" by bad people, you are a bad person yourself.
Ancient Spartan warriors engaged in homosexual behavior does that make them weak?
If that's how they view men, then yes.
"I'm a progressive but I would never date a woman who's not down to raise me three kids, clean, cook, shop, clean, never drinks, smokes. She mustn't been ran through. Also she has to satisfy me every time I want, without having the expectations of she receiving it back, a human fuck puppet of sorts, also she has to keep pretty, sexy, lingerie, she has to keep fit, no tattoos. And also I want her to sign a prenup, she wasn't there when I earned everything I have, she don't get to keep half of nothing after we divorce. Also she has to be content with me fucking somebody younger on the side when her tits start to sag or gets crows feet. Also she has to fear god but first to fear me, also she can't be black or brown, also.. also.. also.. "
Also this is not a joke, this is how I've been raised and this is what my entourage of friends all push and strive for. I myself have broken from these traditional values inflicted by society and parents, but I will never forget how men sit down at the table and women are there only to serve.
They can fuck whoever they want, but don't be homophobic about it
Women having freedom is a weakness. If a man is wants a slave, is that regressive?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xxiK6Z4eXs&t=202s