You're being sold as an action figure. What 2 accessories do you come with?

Anxiety and depression

Lol beat me to it

A pillow and my phone

Can of beer and a bowling ball

Not a toilet?
- Obviously you’re not a golfer.
A can of beer and a beer kozie. If that counts as one, gimme another can of beer.

Weed vape and this bad boy

Ibuprofen and an energy drink.

What makes the green grass grow?

the accessories don’t matter, they’ll change every 3 months. the figure will not.

Should come with an unopened box of prescribed ritalin, maybe?
- Maybe, but it’s unwilling to take a piss test to get them.
So, no accessories included? There could be separate packages for various circumstances.
- No there will be accessories, but what they are won't matter because the accessories included in the box will be changing constantly. One month may be a bunch of Dan Da Dan volumes and a can of medicated water, the next a kayak oar and an MG gunpla box. The changes will never be announced to the public, and will always be chosen in a seemingly random fashion.

Tears and toilet paper.

A hat and buyer's remorse.

Big bass guitar and a tiny little trumpet

Me: a burned up Strat and a bad attitude
Big (mouth) bass-shaped bass guitar?

Anxiety and, due to a manufacturing bug or something, a second anxiety instead of something else.

My action figure is 3d printed and included are STL files to print your own damn accessories.

A knife. And another knife.

I gotta tell ya, this is pretty terrific. Yeah!

A laptop and an anal plug.

A capybara and one of those guitars that’s, like, double guitars? Y’know?

A pair of drift skates, with an interchangeable pair of crutches.

Autism and depression

Like small characters standing on each shoulder, maybe riding your back in labeled t shirts?

A RAID controller and a tin of snus.

Bipolar meds and gummi bears.

Those gummi bears are sus.
- What do you mean? Why would I put LSD in my gummi bears?

A manual in an alien language and a "no refund" sticker

don't forget your towel

A cat and a bike

Bass and bong

Noise-cancelling headphones and allergy meds (at least this time of year)

Realistically a book and a writing utensil but more honestly my phone and a joint

A clone and an android doppelganger and none of us know who is which

a lever action rifle and a bass guitar

Dual-weilding plushies

2 gray kitties

Half of an ortholinear split keyboard and a trackball that's missing the ball.

A sword and a dildo. Fightin' or f...un. Your call.

A typewriter and an empty space where a sporty car should go

Tell me more about this empty space you speak of.
- It should have something like a Miata or Caterham or a hot hatch of some kind.

Are mental illnesses an accessory?

Laptop and bag o’ tools _

I feel seen.

My cat and my cell phone

Track saw and climbing shoes.

A big gulp and a pack of cigarettes

Original ThinkPad and hacker cap.

A Gardner that comes with a seedling and a grown tree

A belt and a doorknob

Risky, but easier than using your hand.

A cat and a cup of tea

A pocket knife and a houseplant in a pot.

Guilt and regret

Bong and a coffee cup, and I'm wearing pajama pants and an anime T-shirt.

Alternate version is wearing skinny jeans and a Dead Kennedys hoodie, and comes with a bass guitar and different colors of Mohawk that can be removed and replaced.

Touring kayak and back country skis

bicycle and pool noodle

A dab rig and a camera

Tonka: Ambulance & portable cardiac monitor.

But your best ao5 happens when you drink coffee, right?

Shades and a whiskey glass.

Mallet and chisel

reads news oh.

Full bathtub and a toaster

A trophy labeled potential being swallowed by a dark blob of depression, and a pair of eyeglasses that give you 20/20 hindsight vision.

Please not a glass jar

Weed vape and a coffee, or keyboard and shovel

New 3ds XL in right hand and a camera bag slung around the neck with a phone, wallet, fidget spinner and cartridge case inside(alegedly since you cant actually open the camera bag.)

Drum sticks

Removable neon colored himbo clothes and an old school white Pontiac Fiero.

AR-10 and a fishing rod

A fox terrier and black clothing.

Drawing utensils. I should also come with medically indicated compression tights but due to production issues they're usually missing from the box.

Garden knife and iron skillet.

Garden knife? What makes a knife garden specific? Interesting
- A hori-hori, a knife shaped for digging and cutting both, and often one side has measurement lines too. Ever since I got one a few years ago I have not been without one. Dog destroys it? I buy another. Kids lose it? I buy another. Just such a useful tool.
  And both these items make good impromptu weapons.

A beer and a tablet stylus

Just the stylus?
- Yep, it can be stuck behind the ear, and the tablet's around here somewhere.

Pills and cool rocks.

Don't get them mixed up.

A bottle of diet soda and a guitar that I can't play

A joint and a laptop

A pillow and a sweater that gets taken on and off unsure if you really need it

Black clothes and Thinkpad?

Post-its and a power rack

Scripture and a jay... The duality of man!

My computer and my cat

Depression/Anxiety meds to keep it real. My cat Mochi.

😅

An e-book and a sofa

Two large replaceable penises. One is extremely girthy. The other is long and proportionally thick. Both vibrate to your favorite music and have a washable jelly pump. I'll be loads and loads of fun.

Detachable penis.

A cat and a laptop.

The cat can also sitt on the laptop keybord.

I guess I pixel cellphone 😓

Pocket knife and a zippo.

Nunchucks and a drafting pencil.