Modern Windows in a nutshell
Modern Windows in a nutshell
158 comments
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Yay Windows, eh?
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I fear the day my little Win7 lappy finally cooks itself. The modern computing landscape is bizarre, alien, and frightening to me. Maybe I can build a XT and find a 300 baud BBS?
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Also Clock is now an Electron app running in its own instance of Chromium, because the devs are afraid of static typing, thus everything needed to be in Javascript.
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Not sure if joking...
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New Update: Microsoft deleted 12 hours from your clock (every hour now is really 2 hours), so now you have to work 2/3 of every day. Sleep? What sleep? Get the fuck back to work! You pleb
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Clock needs an update? To decimal time, or what?
Or did they have to patch it because they managed to build a security hole into the original?
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It's just getting updated to, modern times. (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
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I installed Windows 11 on my new office PC yesterday, and it took hours.
- The initial boot took forever because it decided it needed to do an update as part of the install,
- Then after install when you enter your Microsoft account details so it downloads the entire internet including OneDrive (gross),
- Then you switch to AU locale because despite saying I'm in Australia during install it's set me up as US language and currency and imperial measurements etc but Melbourne timezone (also incorrect),
- Then you uninstall and disable all the stupid Candy Crush and celebrity news (in the start menu?? why??) and LinkedIn and Xbox gaming crap and all this other stuff that just appears,
- Allocate another day to uninstall all the MS Office stuff I don't want (especially OneDrive),
- Then you can install Firefox and Thunderbird and Nextcloud and Libre Office and Irfanview and accounting software,
- And finally everything starts syncing and away we go time to be productive...
- Jokes! Critical update and it's time to reboot multiple times.
I can boot from a Ventoy USB and have a new distro installed and working on my laptop in under an hour ffs.
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It's a good thing that windows is so easy and user friendly. Right?
Right guys? -
IfranView 🥹 respect 🫡
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Irfanview is definitely one of the image viewers of all time.
When I moved away from Windows one of the things I missed was the super lightweight image viewer from the XP and 7 days (even on Windows 10 I used to still copy the exe over from a backup because it was way better than the bloated shitty Photos app, or whatever Microsoft was trying to push)
I really wanted a replacement image viewer that was minimalistic, lightweight, and supported deleting images with a keystroke from the viewer - a feature absolutely essential as I like to arrow-key back and forth through photos and trim the fat, a feature many viewers somehow don't support.
After trying out just about every option there was, my favourite has ended up being qView.
It's FOSS, cross platform (Linux, macos, Windows) and pleasantly fast.
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If you still want (or need) to use Windows, I've found Ninite to be a great time saver.
I really need to try Ventoy. I've had 3 people recommend it to me so far.
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Ninite was clutch back in my Windows days.
Ventoy works pretty well, though some people will tell you not to use it due to there being transparency issues with the source code (something about "BLOBS"? I dunno, I'm not a programmer).
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Considering all the OSS you're using, why not run Linux? Not permitted by work?
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The accounting software we use (which does NOT run under WINE, despite many hours trying to make it so) and Irfanview are my sole remaining reasons. At home everything is some flavour of Linux.
Also the lack of virtual filesystem support for Nextcloud is a secondary factor. Important as my Nextcloud storage is significantly larger than a reasonably priced SSD. I believe it's technically available in a bit of an alpha stage under Linux now though?
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Don't forget the whack-a-mole of finding which 'features' got turned back on with the critical updates.
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But does Ventoy have OneDrive?
/s
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This might assist you in the windows horrors
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Use Windows LTSC
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Installing Windows 10 or 11 has never taken more than an hour for me, from initial boot all the way to finalizing all updates. Don't know what your issue was, but it is not the norm.
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I don't think it's taken less than an hour for me in the past decade
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I had to have Windows not in a virtual machine for a work thing. Installed Windows 10 off a USB in a dual boot on a laptop that was already running Mint (last week). Install time was ~7-10 mins, no Microsoft account required or tricks to get around it. It pulled all the drivers for the Thinkpad when I connected to WiFi on the Desktop screen, and it updated and restarted in about 10 mins. Throw in that I configured my tool bar and themes and set my background to a flat color / changed the settings for performance over looks. Maybe 25 minutes total.
No candy crush or anything to uninstall because the install was created using the Media Creation Tool using the selection to install on another machine.
I use Linux on my machines standardly, and prefer it. My biggest issue was that I had to decide if I wanted to install Grub afterwords because Windows will overwrite your bootloader or just hit f12 everytime.
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We replaced "Clock" with ClockPilot. It is so much better! Go ahead ask Clock Pilot what time it is!
You: Clockpilot What Time is It?
🤖 Clockpilot: “Ah, an excellent question! It’s breakfast time in 12 different countries, next week already in New Zealand, and—wait, hang on—did you know Saturn’s day is only 10.7 hours long? If you were there, you’d already be late for bed.
...Anyway. Locally speaking: it’s ... thinking ....did you adjust for Daylight Savings, quantum drift, or whether your cat stepped on your keyboard last spring?
Would you like me to set an alarm for:
Your next existential crisis, The heat-death of the universe, or Dinner?You: Clockpilot I said WHAT TIME IS IT!
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V.02 ClankPilot V.03 CrackPilot
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Oh, of course! It's 5.20 AM on the 35. April in the 114. Juche year in North Korea. have a productive day!
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Modern user-friendly Linux in a nutshell:
"Hey that kernel update finished in the background, unless you were bored enough to stare at this window for the last 3 whole minutes. It would be best to your machine as soon as it works for you, boss! 😎"
Please note however that modern user-friendly linux does not use emojis in notifications about system updates. That was just for fun.
I use mint btw
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That's the way. And thank you, Linux, for not
askingbugging me again later... ever. -
It would be best to your machine as soon as it repels for you, boss!
It would be best to what my machine?
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oh jeez, lol. Edited to fix for any future readers.
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The last Windows OS I used was XP. I miss those days.
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And why the fuck is windows always "preparing" to do something!? Are you generating a record of my activities to phone home with? Just do the damn thing!
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Well, downloading maybe. But it should just say fuckin downloading!
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the mf updates itself alone every second
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We're going to restart your computer during active hours. Your work will be interrupted. Fuck you.
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Yeah, came home to my pc having restarted itself for updates the other day, despite having 2 VMs running at the time that were not properly shut down. Then Windows tried to push their cloud backup on me... twice, and it reset my mouse speed to the default for some reason
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inb4 some commenter says this doesn't happen.
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It doesn't happen to me, but I took a proactive approach to prevent it from happening. I don't remember what that action was, since I did it years and years ago... but I know it's possible. You just have to literally more than nothing to prevent these things.
Or you could switch to linux... but that takes an even more proactive approach.
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The 'keep changing hours' section in this article works for me whenever I have to use that partition.
https://www.thewindowsclub.com/windows-updates-restart-disable
You pretty much create the script and have the task scheduler run it hourly. (You should be able to make it silent, though I've never bothered for the hourly, half-second cmd blip)
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You should be able to make it silent
You can make it silent. Create a .vbs file, open it in a text editor, and input the following...
Set WshShell = CreateObject("WScript.Shell") WshShell.Run chr(34) & "z:\path\to\your\script.cmd" & Chr(34), 0 Set WshShell = Nothing
Have your scheduled task run the .vbs, rather than your initial script.
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I want a script that forces the update servers at Redmond to reboot every hour on the hour
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Just a moment
Progress bar at 100%
Progress text reads "complete"
Wait 2 hours
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I recommend Windows 10 IoT Enterprise LTSC, which is supported until 2032 and has never required me to update my fucking clock or calculator, never crashed my SSD, and never randomly encrypted my hard drive and lost the recovery keys! And, there’s no OneDrive, Copilot, Recall, Cortana, Clippy, or whatever else Microsoft’s cocaine addled executives have come up with this week to FUCK us.
Since thats the standard for operating systems we’re working with now, I’d say this one is pretty good!
Here’s how you can purchase your copy today!
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Isn't the IoT version missing some features?
The real fix is to switch to Linux.
Also, what's wrong with Clippy?
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the windows store is not a real feature
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IoT is missing all the features I hate, but they can usually be installed manually if desired.
I’m holding out till 2032 for Linux by which time I will be dead or ready to switch.
I was one of those cool 90’s kids who hated Clippy, and I am still just as immature.
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This is sweet! Didn't realize it existed. Been dreading the 11 BS and clawing all the enshittification out. I wish I could do linux on my main machine, but CAM is still not pro grade.
big sloppy kiss
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Here’s how you can purchase your copy today!
🧑🍳🤌
aka Chef's kiss
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I'm using Win11 LTSC and it's great for the same reasons.
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On the computers I still have running windows, this is what I'm using and I have dodged So much of the bullshit people have been dealing with. I'm still running Linux on my main machines though. Maybe by the end of the year I'll have migrated everything away from both Microsoft and Google.
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Honestly I'll just stick to a custom Windows 11 image if I need Windows.
Chris Titus tech even has a tool to build one
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Hmm something’s missing. Where is the ai integration?
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llm counting the seconds for you lmao
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Oh no. We're going to get Vibe Clocks aren't we? AI is just going to spit out times and it's on you to check to make sure it's correct.
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But with a twist!
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Hi I'm Clock Copilot
Set up an alarm at 7:53 am? Statistically this when most people wake up.
No
Set a 8:00:85 timer? To make you feel better about your dead grandma?
No
*Sets an 2:30 am timer anyway
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im clock copilot and I will never gonna give you up every morning at 05:00 am from now on
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After copilot was put into notepad I believe it
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What do you think this update is for?
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How long have you been waiting? You'll never know mwahahaha
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Windows server 2016 has entered the chat
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I'm installing Linux on an old laptop this October to start getting used to it. Meanwhile I'm getting the extra year of security updates for Windows on my main laptop. Then, when that year is over, I'm installing Linux on my main laptop and sticking with it.
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Hi I just did this myself on an old Gen 6 Intel Thinkpad after Windows 11 force-installed Copilot and made it overheat so bad I thought the battery was going to catch fire. Pro-tip: Get Ventoy, it will create a bootable USB drive for you, that you then drag ISOs onto. Hit up DistroWatch and grab the install ISOs for whatever distros look good to you. Throw those ISOs onto the USB you just created and reboot. You'll be able to test out different flavors of Linux with incredible ease. For you and your old laptop, I recommend Vanilla Linux, Ultramarine Linux, Mint Linux, Pop!_OS, and Solus, all of which work great on older hardware and ease you very gently into *nix-land!
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W plan
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"Guys, today we just reinvented time!"
-Microsoft (or something idk...)
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I installed win11 in a vm just for fun, then ran the deblpat script. The amount of shit that removed was astonishing.
Still sucks ass but at least its not as bad as a damn emachine from 2005. Win 11 performance is so damn shit.
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What absolute scares me is how even if you download Windows Enterprise IoT, which already comes extremely clean out of the box, and then run your favorite debloating script (removing even more crap)... the system still shows a noticeable delay when opening the right click menu, or the start menu, or a new Explorer window. So the most basic possible tasks, that you do constantly, for some reason are slow on a modern multi-core processor and a clean build of the OS.
How the hell did they manage to downgrade... the start menu? the right click menu? How?
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And if you don't reboot it like every ten days, services are guaranteed to not reenable and shit will start breaking. I see it daily, and people look at me weird wondering why they have to reboot their shit so often, thinking I'm lying to them and saying "reboot".
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Babe, new timezone just dropped.
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I'm old enough to have been through this in IT (that and leapseconds) and it's what my mind first jumped to (well, other than enshitification).
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Your time has come, https://www.whattimeisitrightnow.com/ from BoJack.
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The clock needs an update every second! /s
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Help clock. I'm a computer.
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Obligatory Fenslerfilms GI Joe PSA reference + updoot
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Stop all the downloadin
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My main gripe is Windows Defender. I have an app that integrates with Home Assistant and Windows keeps flagging a component as a Trojan virus. Makes sense, as it's supposed to access admin level functions to read some sensors and enable remote power control.
But for years I've seen MsMpEng.exe, or the antivirus, constantly scan my 4TB HDD, either looking for viruses or doing some stupid NTFS remapping thing. It's loud and only spun up when idle on Win10, but became more aggressive on Win11 with less time to start scanning and not stopping when I move the mouse.
The latest development with breaking my app just means I'm more vigilant in turning the entire antivirus off when it turns on and starts scanning.
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I have a volume, let's call it "Shit I put in here that I have randomly acquired over the years", mostly smallish files of any nature, text, image, executables, archives, that I've been carrying with me for over two decades, cloning from one drive upgrade to the next, surviving multiple systems. I've noticed that starting with Windows 7, defender without so much as a notification, started removing random files it deems malicious. I suspect they may have been quarantined at first, but other times outright deleted, as I'm sure the default behaviour settings have been overridden by updates numerous times.
I've had a couple executables that were doing direct memory reading and injection for some MMOs, think packet sniffing or botting/automating certain tedious tasks, and defender would eliminate the executable without so much as a warning when I have extracted backup archive of it.Then there was the infamous case of DeCSS, and defender removing anything related to it from drives, ignoring white lists, removing it from SMBs even where it had write access, and always categorizing it as something else, now malicious.
And I'm pretty sure it also removed a copy of The Terrorist's Handbook in doc format at one point from my drive.
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Makes sense, as it’s supposed to access admin level functions to read some sensors and enable remote power control.
That makes no fucking sense. Kernal level driver accesses sensors. User mode driver reads that stuff and provides API access to whatever app.
You've got a shitty, shitty system.
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Why are you using a hard drive?
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Whoooaaaaa I heard the next update is gonna be HUGE
The leaks say they're adding millidays and a whole new second
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The computer says no
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Last time Clock was interesting was in the Windows 3.0 days. Windows 11 clock is just beyond meh.
Since Windows these days can't be arsed to have an analog clock with second hand (which is what I need for properly setting clocks on all of the devices that don't have internet access), I just made one myself one day.
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At least it tells you what stupid shit it is doing. There is apparently another 'security update' for android and I'm assuming it is actually another complete UI overhaul called a security update again.
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Security updates are very important
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They are!
UI overhauls are NOT security updates. OneUI7 or whatever it was called was presented as a security update.
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daylight savings time has gone too far
158 comments
My wife came to me saying her laptop wasn't working. She was on it last night. It was forcing a Windows account login. Shift-10 disabled so I couldn't bypass.
Microsoft can straight fuck itself after this. Trying to brick an 8 year old laptop with a local account. Fuck that noise. My wife is gonna have to learn Linux.
trying to reinstall Windows on a used computer I got recently sent me over the edge. holy fucking shit that was so complicated. there is just no way to install windows without a Microsoft account now, their documentation is both out of date in some locations, non-existent in others (posts removed), and seemingly up-to-date yet incorrect in other locations. I followed the instructions for installing with a Microsoft account and then unlinking it, and it was fucking hell. I had to do some back door shit (not really, but stuff that the average user doesn't stand a chance of doing) in order to get my account actually unlinked so that I could sign in with the local credentials
I will not be buying Microsoft again. just going to transition slowly as Windows 10 fades away
Download pro, during install before setting initial account: shift+f10 (may have to hold fn key if laptop). When the cmd box opens type oobe\bypassnro hit enter an PC reboots. Disconnect networking. Say I don't have internet. Now you can do local accounts.