Anon's strict mom

What kind of Wooldoor Sockbat cum clogs a shower? This is so idiotic.

But... but... people wouldn't just go and make shit up on the internet, would they?
- would they?
  I don’t see a reason for them to… Fake internet points are not even worth a penny!
- There's STILL people who believe semen can clog showers because of a single prank at a campus years and years ago.
  https://www.reuters.com/article/fact-check/housing-violation-notice-in-college-bathroom-prank-resurfaces-idUSL1N2MY2GV/
  https://deadspin.com/will-semen-destroy-your-shower-drain-1795434004/
Oh you sweet summer children, I take it you were never in the army, or else you would know of the dreaded desert jellies, and what it means to be on shower detail
- But that was many, many men and not a single one.
- I'd rather be on the front line.
With how plumber quality is in some parts? That's believable.
Clogged is probably a bit far but cum does congeal a lot with heat
- I have a plumber mate that said that it not only congeals with the hot water but it then clumps together hair thats being washed down the drain and together they create the problem.

Start watching sissy hypnosis videos to condition yourself into eating it, obviously. It's the only undetectable disposal method.

Jesus fuck man, what kind of plumbing blocks with jizz? I could literally eat prunes and tortillas for a week and still waffle-stomp my turd down a 40mm pipe

Semen is actually fairly similar to egg whites (it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes). This means that when it gets hot, it cooks, and basically becomes solid.
The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes. This is also why you should use cold water to wash it out of hair.
- it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes
  what.
- The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes.
  100% untrue.
  While you're right that proteins can caugulate a little, this is a common urban legend that was started with a prank note left in a dorm bathroom many years ago.
  https://www.reuters.com/article/fact-check/housing-violation-notice-in-college-bathroom-prank-resurfaces-idUSL1N2MY2GV/
  https://deadspin.com/will-semen-destroy-your-shower-drain-1795434004/
  "Abraham Morgentaler, an associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and the director of Men’s Health Boston, debunked the rumor for us once and for all. In an email to Slate, Morgentaler says that not only is semen never thick enough to clog a drain, but that 20 to 30 minutes after ejaculation, it will become a runny liquid and slide away:"
  I can't understand how we got to the point with this that people have written thousands of articles about it and consulted with medical professionals. We really need better education in this country.
- The water from the shower head cools down about 10°C before it hits the ground (go sit down in the shower for once, it gets damn cold). Some more degrees gone before it's washed away. Proteins become solid above 42°C, that's why you'd die if your body temp goes over that limit. You're saying you shower in 55°C+ water? Damn, your skin must be so extremity burned after all those showers, you probably look like Freddy Kruger.
- You are suggesting OOP should cum in the food?
- Mix in hair and you get a plumbers omelette
waffle-stomp my turd
Bruh 😂

More like "what kind of shower drain is clogged by semen". And indeed, there are some. One at a place I've lived had a filter that had to be cleaned every now and then. No fapping in it was a given, but even some melted soap that re-hardens in it could end up clogging it.
- I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm not entirely sure that what you were cleaning was soap. 👀
- what the fuck are you talking about
his mom told him.

Why not simply overflow her with your cum tissues? She’s your mom, so you should know her inside and out, so her buffer should be accessible. I ask for 257 tissues every day and my mom has no idea

I like that this implies that OP's mom uses an 8 bit counting system
I'm imagining her at a super expensive restaurant getting a bill for like $547 and thinking "wow, this only cost $35!"
Mom uses uint64 sorry

Blow your load on her bedsheets

Time to break your hands

Arms.

clogging the shower drain with cum

ok

Why tf does op masturbate in secret?
\ A healthy family doesn't keep secrets from each other!

Also buy a dryer, she obviously doesn't get stuck very often.

I think you need to fuck your mom…

Move out.
Has anon never heard of toilet paper and toilets?

i'm smelling some human rights abuses here

I don't know how you can smell anything over that massive pile of bullshit.
- you have no idea
  some parents do be like that

Anons mum isn't checking her own underwear with a UV light...

what do you mean by this
- I'm saying anon should cream into his mum's panties.
- Naughty America 💋

Get a girlfriend, fap in her shower

I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don't have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are "snot rags" anymore.
Edit: What's with the downvotes?

I don't know why people are a) taking this even jokingly half serious and b) suggesting all sorts of weird and complex solutions when surely a 22-year could just buy whatever.

Yeah just buy a cruise ship or whatever. Go into debt if you have to.
- A pack of tissues wasn't in double-digit millions last time I checked.
If his mom is doing that, it's likely he doesn't have a job because she won't let him.
- You genuinely believe a 22-year old to be on such a tight leash that they cant' stuff their pockets with a bit of paper anywhere? If if he never has the money to buy a roll of toilet paper, which isn't the most expensive item honestly, he could just walk to a fastfood joint and take some napkins.
  Stop buying into the stupidest shit people write, sheesh. You're the type to think reality TV is real, aren't you?

Have both of your arms broken, you won't be able to crank it.

I remember reading about a solution to this on Reddit once...
- So does the mom

This is how incest porn originates

There's this apparatus called washing machine.

1: go to toilet

2: kneel in front facing the toilet

3: place dick between toilet seat and toilet

4:?????

5: profit

Get a chastity fetish.

His mother already seems to have one. Maybe he can borrow it from her.

Is she checking her own socks and underwear?

4chan posts are never fake though

MOVE
OUT

Even sweatshop workers, prisoners, and the slaves who built the World Cup stadium in Qatar were/are alowed to relieve themselves. Homeless people have some option, it seems. There is no reason for OOP to unwillingly put up with this, even with crippling NEET tendencies.

Do your own laundry.

That's a bit extreme don't you think?

Did you try to grow up and move out?

Buy a small area rug for the front of your bed and move it before bed, then Roll over on your side and cum on the carpet. Problem solved.

Couldn't he just flush it down the toilet?

How if mom controls the tissue inventory?
- By nutting directly into the toilet, bypassing the need for tissue

Easy solution: wake up from the delusion. Its made up.

Does uv light actually do that? I thought they had to spray some stuff to make it actually detect fluids.

Body fluids can be detected just with a UV light yes.
Watch Gordon do it to a gross hotel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ4ZAZJphx4
The stuff youre talking about where forensic scientists spray stuff, they're spraying Luminol to detect trace amounts of blood because it reacts with the iron in the blood traces and makes it luminescent enough for it to be photographed in a darkened room even without UV.
Luminol is a chemical that reacts with hemoglobin to glow where very small amounts of blood might have been. That's usually sprayed, for detecting much smaller concentrations than what would show up under a UV light. That might be what you're thinking of.