Stop comparing programming languages

PHP is old
HTML is NOT A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE!!!
CSS is
︎ ︎ ︎ not alig-

︎ ︎ ︎ ned

-

PHP is old
Same age as Ruby, Java and JavaScript, but younger than Python, C, and C++. 😛
- I'm guessing they meant "old" as in "no one uses it anymore, it's dead"
Modern php is not bad actually. Still kinda slow and dangerous, but A LOT better than it used to be :')
That said, i wouldnt build a web service with php still lol
Actual definitions (my opinion):
HTML is website
CSS is style
JS is everywhere
SQL is data
Python is simple
PHP is backend
Markdown is README
YAML is config

C++ is std::__cxx11::list<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0>, std::allocator<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0> > >::erase(std::_List_const_iterator<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0> >) /usr/include/c++/12/bits/list.tcc:158
- I once forgot to put curly braces around the thing I was adding into a hashmap. If I remember correctly it was like ~300 lines of error code, non of which said "Wrong shit inside the function call ma dude".
- The only reason to use AI in programming is to simplify C++ error messages.

Mfw Rustaceans don't exist :(

Also, JavaScript...why are you the way you are? Does anyone have advice for learning it so it makes sense? I can't even get tutorial projects to run properly...

This meme is older than rust.
- actually it says 8h meaning it's only 8 hours old
use typescript and don't look too hard at the infrastructure
- Lol any
- I tried, but the infrastructure collapsed on me.
The mantra that got me through JavaScript was "almost nothing we do here is able to be synchronous".
Everything about the language makes more sense, with that context.
I like Douglas Crockford’s talks about the “good parts” of JavaScript. They’re old and probably a bit outdated, but he explain quite well the history and why JavaScript is the way like it is.
It clicked for me when I saw them the first time. Still hate JavaScript though.
- What Crockford did was enable a lot of devs to realize there was a viable development platform built into the most prolific and open network client in the world. For that he should be commended but it should have never been taken as "this is a viable general purpose language".
Can it even make sense tho? To me JS is an example of a not too good thing that people started too eagerly so now they're trying to make it make sense.
- I have no idea.
Start simple.
And that probably requires not going with a tutorial. Because the JS ecosystem scorns at "simple". Just make some HTML scaffold and use MDN to understand the DOM.

Just accept it, all languages suck

"There are only two kinds of languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses."
- That’s why Haskell is so loved. Nobody uses it.
Not Scala and Rust. They are my beloved, my sweethearts, my knights in shining armor.
Ok Rust does have some major issues, but not Scala...
- Oof, slow compile times to target, of all things, the JVM? Implicit methods? Some(null)? Function call syntax where the difference between a tuple argument and a sequence of non-tuple arguments can be determined by whether or not there's a space before the parentheses?
  There are definitely some major issues with Scala.
Writing raw byte binaries ftw!
(Jokes aside, all programming languages have their good and bad things. Some just have more bad than good. And i say that as a C/C#/typescript/asm developer :p
not zig
Yes, just flip binary directly to the cpu

ITT: Rust programmers rewriting the joke in Rust.

C++ is OVERWHELMINGLY SUPERIOR, if you ask any professional C++ developer.

I was a professional C++ developer for several years, and came to the conclusion that any professional C++ developers who don't acknowledge its flaws have a form of Stockholm Syndrome.
- This is true of every language. If you can't think of things you don't like about the language you're working in (and/or its tooling) you just don't know the language very well or are in denial.
Can confirm. Chose to focus on C++ because it literally makes me superior to other people.

Are those adjectives randomly chosen?

Yeah, JavaScript powerful? How?
- By running everthing in a single thread obviously. Won't get more powerful than that
- good luck doing frontend development without it, but it can also do backend development
  it can do everything
- IIRC JavaScript + TypeScript is the biggest demographic of engineers in the industry if you go by GitHub stats
  I suppose you could call that power in a way
Pretty much so.

C++ is fine
Python is fine
C# is fine
PHP is fine
JavaScript is fine
C is fine
Java is fine

I could go on

PHP is fine
i will fine you
- JavaScript is also not fine.
  C++ apparently has a lot of footguns if you use too many parts of it. C and orthodox C++ are fine.
A true programmer
Go on...
- Don't give them ideas

There was an adjective for C++. It's just the pointer was dropped.

JavaScript is powerful

Old joke (yes, you can tell):

"JavaScript: You shoot yourself in the foot. If using Netscape, your arm falls off. If using Internet Explorer, your head explodes."

C++ is all of those, provided you pick any 10% of it.

You're not supposed to cast every spell in the evil grimoire.

Well, except "robust", unless you have very strict code standards, review processes, and static analysis.
(And arguably it's never elegant, though that's almost purely a matter of taste.)
- When the standard for "robust" is Java--

C++ is a surprise CVE generator.

Anti Commercial-AI license

C# is also here

Shhh don't tell people they'll ruin it.
I'm a [primarily] C# turned JavaScript dev. I miss C#.
- The ecosystem is really it, C# as a language isn't the best, objectively Typescript is a much more developer friendly and globally type safe (at design time) language. It's far more versatile than C# in that regard, to the point where there is almost no comparison.
  But holy hell the .Net ecosystem is light-years ahead, it's so incredibly consistent across major versions, is extremely high quality, has consistent and well considered design advancements, and is absolutely bloody fast. Tie that in with first party frameworks that cover most of all major needs, and it all works together so smoothly, at least for web dev.

The only reason I use C++ is because that's what all the main audio plugin tools use. It's warty and annoying, although I'm confused why Java would rank higher

So we just ignore JavaScript being on that list at sll?
- I shit on JavaScript for years... but Deno (built around Rust) is honestly one of the most pleasant tools I've used for development, and you get all the completion in VS Code.
My main experience using C++ was because I got stuck modifying an app written with Qt Creator, an utterly insane cross-platform framework that used (still uses? I dunno, only people in Finland ever used it in the first place) C++ for the under-the-hood processing and Javascript for the UI. For good measure, the application developers had modified all the C++ stuff with macros to the point where it was barely even recognizable as C++. Fortunately, it mattered not at all because the app's customers were ISPs who just wanted a Skype clone so they could say they had one even though none of their customers ever used the damn thing.
- Oh, trust me, Qt is still primarily C++. It's effectively a massive set of C++ libraries.
Couldn't we use pure C or Pure Data with hvcc for this?

what about Holy C? is it only usable to people that are actually god choosen programmers?

Rust has safety and efficiency close to C
Perl is processing most of your healthcare records
Ada is doing space stuff
Go is going places

93% of Paint Splatters are Valid Perl Programs
- What happens if I run paint splatters through OCR? Hmmmmm that random output looks like Perl. Holy shit it is Perl!
  This actually happening is one reason I love the internet.
Perl? Nah, in this country its vb6, C#, java, gupta/centura and javascript :')
Source: been working for multiple healthcare market leaders in this country for 5 years now

Ruby is just happy to be included

What is C essential for anymore these days? Genuine question btw.

I thought C++ was essential for microprocessor control, but that it depends and sometimes I gather people use C instead, but not always.

Use the language that the company hires you to know:-).

I do embedded. Its all C. You can't replace it.
- You can't replace it.
  Zig?
- Inertia is a mofo. I did embedded programming for industrial automation almost thirty years ago, building upon and expanding an existing nightmare of C code... and I bet there's still some of mine running something out there to this day.
Most of the Linux kernel is written in C
Pretty much all of the command line coreutils programs I use daily are in C; cd, ls, pwd, touch, rm, etc. If I want to write some small utility I'll usually reach for a scripting language first like bash python ruby etc, but if it needs to be small and fast I'll use C instead.
- Genuine question: if you're writing a new CLI utility, why not Rust? This is arguably where Rust has most excelled, most famously with ripgrep.
Used to be embedded systems mostly. Microwaves and the like. Although with the advance of the smart home I don't know I'd that's still true.
- The majority of microwaves, fridges, etc. Still don't connect to WiFi. It's mostly the high end ones which do.
any sort of FFI on a modern OS will need to be done through C
This is a really good post about why C is so difficult to seriously consider replacing, or even to avoid by using a different language for certain projects: https://faultlore.com/blah/c-isnt-a-language/
- It isn't just a language, but it is a language - as it eventually gets around to saying, but it starts off by saying that it isn't, then later corrects itself to say that it is, etc. I feel like the focus of this ignores the historical context of what C was written to be for - at the time there was like Assembly, BASIC, Fortran (?), other long-dead languages like was it A and/or A* or whatever, there was a B language too! (developed by Bell Labs, if Google can be trusted these days), etc. - and C was developed to be better than those. So saying that like it lacks type conversions is very much missing the point - those were not invented yet. A lawn mower also lacks those, but it's okay bc it doesn't need them:-) I am probably nit-picking far too many points, I suppose to illustrate that the style of the article became a hindrance to me to read it b/c of those reasons. But thank you for sharing regardless.

Java is robust haha

There is another That you might say is a little rusty

This meme only works if you don't include any example that is better than others in every regard.
- I keep seeing people talk about Rust, and to be honest I never thought much about it because I've never had a reason to use it.
  But when so many people in a programmer meme sub are saying "actually no joke Rust is amazing" that makes me pay attention.
  So I looked into it and found this: https://github.blog/2023-08-30-why-rust-is-the-most-admired-language-among-developers/

C++ catchin strays

C pew pew

I was caught by surprise and for some reason this joke clicked so much that I laughed for a while. Kudos

Stop comparing tools

Hammer is heavy
Wrench is elegant
Saw is versatile
Screwdriver
Drill is exciting

such pointless

Tea? i saw it once in a wikipedia article.