Solutions? Where we're going, we don't need solutions.

Every programming language has it's place.

JavaScript's place is in hell.

I used to think Javascript was hell when I barely used it. Now I have to build with it regularly and... once in a while I'm just right about things.
Ever wanted to be somewhere inbetween java and JavaScript?
Yeah, that's Groovy. Only it's the wrong groove
JS is ironic punishment as a programming language. It's fun to screw around in! And then you have to use it for stuff, and pain ensues.
What makes JavaScript so widely disliked? I know very little of it, and in skimming different stuff I think I've seen like a million different frameworks for it, so is that a part of it?
- It was mostly made for simple scripts to embed on a website for animations and handling updates without refreshing whole page. Not to make a full portable client (browser) side app.
  \ Hating JavaScript is mostly a meme, it's just a programming language. But its very loose syntax, fact it's often someone's first programming language to learn and how most programs written in it nowadays are a hack build on top of a hack on top a hack makes this language easy to laugh at.

Latex: Problem --> \def\please@#1#2#3#4{\e@kill#2#3{\me#1}#4@now} -->

Accurate. LaTeX is great, it makes you feel like you have superpowers compared to "office suite"-style software. But every once in a while you just run into some bullshit that feels like it's stuck in 1985 and it completely breaks your flow. I remember wanting to make a longtable where text in the "date" column would be rotated by 90 degrees to leave more horizontal room for the other columns. It took me two rotateboxes, a phantom, a vspace, a hspace and 40 minutes of my life to get the alignment right. Would probably have taken a duckduckgo search and three clicks in Libreoffice.
- btw what do you think about typst?
  i only used it for simple stuff so far but it seems pretty fun and easy to use
- it makes you feel like you have superpowers compared to "office suite"-style software
  Especially the installation process
- I still have no idea how to exit the build process. It tells I need to type H or \end but it also just lies. I find the easiest way is to invoke Ctrl-Z and then kill the background process, and the ~~younglings~~ children
- Funnily enough I had a similar problem but I wanted text instead of a date. In the end I used a solution similar to yours and adjusted each cell entry manually for hours. Feels like there should be a lot simpler solution for this problem in LaTeX. Glad I don't need to use it anymore...
I got way too excited Lemmy parsed LaTeX for a second
- Testing 123
  $$ \sigma $$
  aww.....
You also need that usepackage just like python.

PHP: Problem -> real_solution_for_real_this_time() (real_solution_i_swear() is unsafe and deprecated)

Eh, your statement is accurate for PHP4 and still relevant up to PHP5.2... We're on PHP8.3 now and PHP8.0 is now out of security updates. I know it's trend to hate on PHP but you've got to at least update your materials to var-vars... it's like knocking node for having substr() and substring().
- trend to hate on PHP
  2 years ago I tried to give a drupal project the ci/cd makeover (i.e. containers, test-deployments, reproducable builds, etc)... that's when my hate was freshly renewed.
  At this point I think it's ok to let a dead language die and move on to something else (anything else, really)
PHP: Problem -> Laravel -> Solution
- Ahem: Problem -> Laminas -> Solution
mysql_real_escape_string

missing the stage of C where it's all incomprehensible bitfucking with comments like "this works, i do not know why it works, do not touch this"

Real fast inverse square root algorithm hours
- That one is not that complicated if you don't think about the math. It's basically just if we interpret the float as int and add a magic number we have a good estimation.
  From what I remember at least, it's been a little while since I implemented it.
C should show some overflow corruption of the problem graphic.

C: "Segmentation fault."

Where?

C: 🤷🏻

C: gestures vaguely everywhere
- C++: "You just pointed to all of me."
Then you open the core file with GDB and hope the stack is not smashed.
- I don't know why, but I still can't open a core file without going I'm in. I don't do QA, though, and so tinkering with final breath of my program frozen in time maintains some novelty.
gdb -> where

python is like that. someone waay smarter than you have already done this 10 years ago.

Idk I still like writing my own stuff purely pythonic when I can. Pythons syntax is the most “fun” and “natural” for me so I find it fun. Like doin a sudoku puzzle
- I can't get over the load-bearing whitespace.
That's true of basically all problems you deal with in programming. Unless you're truly bleeding edge you're working on a solved problem. It'll be novel enough that you can't out-of-the-box it but you can definitely use the tools and paths everyone else has put together.
Part of why I like kotlin as a language. It has so many tools built right in.

OK rust made me laugh

Yeah that one got me too. Rust has tons of c libs wrapped in safe rust.
- I was mainly thinking about how so many Rust projects advertise very loudly that they're written in Rust. Like, they would have -rs in the name, or "in Rust" as part of their one-line description. You rarely see this kind of enthusiasms for the the language in other languages. Not a bad thing by the way! And also there's the "rewrite it in rust" meme, where people seem to take perfectly functional projects and port them to Rust (again, not a bad thing! Strength in diversity!)
I'd even say Rust is python but gone through format!("{}-rs", problem)

C# Solution -> .sln

(brought to you by .net gang)

C --> segfault --> new problem

Sry, the best I can do on mobile
- 🙉 it's perfect!
- It's good

The line between problem and solution for C should be 30 miles long.

...with 19 bugs 9 of which are exploitable.
- And one bug that one person found once but is not reproducible
It lacks a lot of malloc() 🤣
- and not enough frees

i feel like javascript could also be

Problem -> solution -> 3 days pass -> all dependencies had breaking changes made -> problem

I never understood this logic:

“I know nothing about this subject, I’m gonna post a meme (a funny graphic usually about a specific topic, this one outlining the differences between languages) but I know nothing about the subject and will ask that nobody correct me or try to apply rationale here because I choose to be ignorant and have no interest in expanding my knowledge of the world and people around me, I just want people to tell me I’m funny and give me internet points”

To each their own ig

...but it's funny (although it would've been funnier if C was "Problem -> Buffer Overflow")
- If you have never had a segmentation fault, then you have never programmed in C
- Yeah it’s a funny meme, was specifically pointing out the post text though not the meme specifically/directly
We need a SeniorProgrammerHumor community. Less jokes about quitting vim and programming languages and more about every day funny issues.
- We no longer have humor, it's been beaten out of us by code reviews and merge conflicts.
- People tried that on Reddit. We got a handful of jokes, but nobody had time to laugh of them or post new ones.
- We need a SeniorProgrammerHumor community
  to get an invide you must have at least 5 years of verifyable lemmy-experience
if you don't understand memes, you're in the wrong place
CC BY-NC-SA 4.0
- Says the person posting the lemmy equivalent of the facebook copypasta after their comments.
Hello JavaScript user 🙃
- Ew.
  Also, terrible attempt at a strawman, you didn’t even try lol. Unsurprising response tho from king shallow over here
- Hello angry underpaid programmer
I never understood this logic
You’re looking for logic in a joke.
Do you question why Donald Trump, the pope and a kid are the only passengers on a plane that’s about to crash?
- I bet it was an orgy.
- You’re misunderstanding my text.
  The joke is funny, telling people not to respond because “it’s just a joke” is cringe.
  We can talk about reality and also joke about stuff.
I believe the idea is to potentially induce a brief nasal snort possibly accompanied by a slight upward curling of the lips in those casually scrolling by. In other words, it's a joke, being posted on a joke community.
- A coding humor community, if you gotta post about it, you should probably expect it.
  We’re adults, we can joke about stuff and also talk about stuff… unless you’re not which would still be okay because I wouldn’t be interested in discussion then
Geez relax lol. Just downvote it and move on.
- Why does everyone always assume you have to be fuming to bring up something goofy you saw lmao
  Y’all are the ones who need to chill apparently
@stevedidwhatinfosec @renzev I agree in principle but this meme is unironically accurate?
- To the point that I'm doubting the OP's non-knowledge.
  He must know at least a lot of C++... But I disagree with the PHP one; it always transforms the problem, never leaves it alone. And transforms it very productively.
- Again, I’m referring to OPs message. Not the meme itself, which was funny.

for the ones missing the marvelous HTML, I gotchu bro:

<problem />

Add css, and the problem looks really pretty now
- Problem
Obligatory "Hyper Text Markup Language is a markup language, not a programming language"
- HTML+CSS Has been turing complete for some time now.
self closing tags is not the HTML way

Actual C: Problem → Segmentation fault

Actual Problem: C → Segmentation Fault
- Actual Problem: C → Segmentation Fault?

Didn't see any mention yet, so... Useless use of cat!

I’ve seen this before but don’t accept it myself. There are cases where you just wanted to cat. In this case, maybe to review the problem. Then you want to extend the command. Preserving it in the next commands where you start stacking on pipes is useful since it can be fewer strokes and maintain a habit.

C:

Problem → return Solution;

C++:

Problem →

    
const [auto]&& (Problem&& problem) noexcept(noexcept( Solution<Problem>{}(std::forward<Problem>(problem)) )) { return Solution<Problem>{}(std::forward<Problem>(problem)); } -> decltype( Solution<Problem>{}(std::forward<Problem>(problem)) )

C:

return *(solution_t*)&problem;
- Maximum optimization!
But this doesn't return the Solution. You don't invoke the lambda.
(Or does C++ have implied returns now? Last I heard there was implied move)
- Actually I do; it's the {} that initializes the lambda, and the parenthesis after invokes.
  That said, it would have been fun.

Java:

Problem -> NullPointerException.

More like
Problem → new ProblemSolverFactory().createProblemSolver().solveProblem();
- Exactly. And configured by 5000 lines of brittle XML.
- Needs more Beans and AbstractFactoryFactory
- No internal logging framework/facade used!
- And then it throws a NullPointerException.
Great! The problem is lost in the memory. That means it doesn't exist anymore right? Right?

JS is basically the Hydra from the Greek Mythology.

Though PHP is literally the problem had me lol.

If you're catting a file into a grep, you can go.

I mean good point, but if I'm just using bash as a shell and not writing a script, I'm probably first previewing the contents of a file with cat anyway, and recalling the last command and appending a | grep <pattern> to it is less keystrokes than re-writing the last command into grep <pattern> <file>. Especially if you're playing around with the pattern and trying to get it right, it's nice to have the pattern at the end of the line.
If you're piping any of those commands to or from awk, you can also go.

python -> Import solver (C) -> Solution

Someone do java hahaha

Problem -> AbstractProxyFactory<SolutionProvider
<BaseProblem>
>

Racket: problem - > #lang solution

Language — person doesn’t know how to properly code in that language — problem.

C could just be a blank and you have to bit blit the arrow on yourself.