Challenge accepted

We’ve been ignoring the Dakotas for too long, they are spreading at an alarming rate!

Incest often doesn't provide viable offspring though.
- Tell that to the British royal line
That's what happens when the antidax narrative takes hold.
Damn that's scary. I don't think there's many drag queens there but child abuse in those states are higher than most. /s

This is cursed.

I only looked at this for ten seconds and I forgot how the real map looks.
- The malignant Dak-ancer has spread to your Cancerlina. The illness stems from exposure to fascist gerrymandering. It's a fatal prognosis.
- I... I can't even figure what's wrong with it even though I know it's so very, very wrong. My brain hurts.
As someone from Europe it looks fine to me.
- I genuinely didn't get the joke until I read the hover text and even then I just assumed he put extra lines in to troll the Americans.

That's an awful lot of Dakotas. Also, Ohio really ought to be renamed Ohno.

And no Howoming, Whatoming, Wheroming, or Whooming, missed opportunities.

What really gets me is how you swapped Alabama and Mississippi just for kicks.

Ohno

That’s my favorite. Plus, the way it can be read as “Ohenno” or Oh hell no. Columbia on the West Coast is also a neat idea, considering that Columbia was the manufactured goddess designed to be an avatar for American greatness, before we got the Statue of Liberty. Columbia still has a big statue on top of the Capitol building in DC that never gets mentioned.

This map freaks me out and I don't know why.

Because everything you know is wrong, nothing is real, nothing matters, have a panic attack, you deserve it!

Did I have a stroke?

Yse
This magazine has been cracking me up for weeks now. Had to share:
https://sopuli.xyz/c/aneurysmposting
https://kbin.social/m/aneurysmposting@sopuli.xyz
Hmm, trying to understand your username, are you both very intelligent/ talented AND have a lift kit on your vehicle?
- Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn't work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !aneurysmposting@sopuli.xyz
- It's a Typo: His name is Ted and he's into GILFs.

ok but where’s MASHINGTON

West of Wontanna

Fun fact, there are no US states that start with A.

The closest is Arkansas which starts with an "A". Which is pronounced similar to an "A".
- Some ChatGPT fun facts
Likewise there are no states with a B in the name.
Isn't Kentucky the only one that starts with a K?

I have an inkling that the two Arkansas are pronounced differently. "Are-Kansas" and "Are-Can-Saw".

One is Akansas
- I see that now. I did not see it then.
- Are-ken-saw, A-kan-saw and a Kan-sahs
One has no R
- I see that now. I did not see it then.
That's because Arkansas (ARE-can-saw) retained the native language pronounciation, while Kansas (CAN-zuhs) was Anglicanized.
- Today I learned the native language was French!

Ok, I don't get it.

A recent XKCD was just the blank map with ~64 "states" and the direction to try and name them all.
- Here it is: https://lemmy.world/post/9604451

I see Kansas, but where's Kan'tsas?

Kansas, Akansas, Arkansas was clever my guy. How would you pronounce Akansas tho? A-kansahh? Akansahh? A-Kansas? Akansas? Ahkansas? Ah-kansahh?

Is this what having an aneurysm feels like?

I did a couple of cartography classes in college and I can say this is 100% correct.

Looks right to me ╮⁠(•⁠‿• )⁠╭

How would you like them labeled? They already have the names.

The names are an edit of the original xkcd comic, where the states are blank.

It just occurred to me that there are no states named East Statename.

English settlers arrived in the east. So wherever they were when they named an area, that was the original, and as they spread west, north or south, they had to add those directions to keep them distinct.
That's because the expansion of the US across the continent was westward.
- I know. It just seemed funny that the other three directions are represented.
  If/when Puerto Rico becomes the 51st state, it should take the name East Puerto Rico, just to be fair.
Serious answer: we started at the eastern seaboard and expanded west. "East Statename" implies eastern expansion.
Are there any 'West _____' states? I know there are north and south
- Country roads take me home to the place I belong ::: spoiler spoiler West Virginia :::

This makes my brain hurt

I think you forgot that Wyoming isn't real

It's just a fancy name for "Dakota[citation needed]".

Central Dakota...

America's waistline grew a little it seems after thanksgiving

Columbia should be Jefferson. Alternatively Columbia could be Oregon, then Oregon becomes Columbia. Cascadia would also be appropriate for either.

Oooo, you're right. I originally had (north–south) Washington → Columbia → Oregon but then realized that Oregon's shape was second and so lazily swapped the two names. Cool to know!
I'd also like to offer Moregon or Oreagain

I have to say I prefer New Mexico A and New Mexico B. It's poetic justice, as the Eastern border of New Mexico was drawn by a drunken surveyor from TX, so we're just getting back what was ours. Take a look at the map, and the history, strange, but true. Also Tennessee and Elevenessee are made for each other.

Many residents of Kentessee would love to change the name to Elevennessee, but that's been found extremely exclusive by the former Kentucky residents who were lumped into the state upon its creation.

Why are there so many Mexicos?? The Mexicos are multiplying, you guys. We're about to be overrun.

You didn't build the wall fast enough, all the Mexicos illegally came through the border and became states.

I had a college professor who absolutely would have handed something like this out as a pop quiz.

This map made me think that I'd love to teach US history and just drop this map on a bunch of 16yos.
"You must label all the states, I won't answer any questions."
And just wait for the first WTFs

This is fantastic

Close enough.

"Texas"

Well that's a very generous description based on the current discourse of personal freedoms being violated

Almost perfect! Of course Akansas should be Nebrahoma. Rookie mistake, but great work otherwise! Gold star

I like how it has both Arkansas and Arkansas

The northern one has no r.
- My blind ass. I guess we're stuck with the incorrectly pronounced Arkansas and a cheap knockoff

Shouldn't have made a bunch of states rectangles then

With all of the new red states this map would create, we might as well just rename the country Trumpistan.

Checkmate

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You missed Upper Peninsula north of Wisconsin.

That's the other part of Michigan, unless the Upper Peninsula decided to become Upper Dakota while I wasn't looking.
- According to Sean Hannity on Fox News it's Canada

I think we could make it easier for many by drawing a diagonal line from the top of Columbia on the west coast to Louisiana in the south east and just label the whole area "Old Mexico".

Then when people start yelling at you go back to where you came from or learn to speak American they can return to Europe where their ancestors were born...

Old Hampshire!

I'm surprised he only crammed one more state into the northeast. Easy opportunity to put a dozen lines pointed to one little dot-sized section

Dammit, get the Round-up. Ohio is multiplying.

Utah...i can see your junk