themeatbridge @ themeatbridge @lemmy.world

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2 yr. ago

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Like, how do you teach kids to do it? Show it to them, and critique their performance, without being a total creep. Big pile of nope from me.

My kid's school is doing Legally Blonde Jr, the Musical, and I was shocked that Bend and Snap is going to be part of the show. Like, I'm not a pearl-clutching prude, but how are you going to make that appropriate for 12 year old girls?

Anyway, yes your pun was better, but it reminded me that this is going to be weird.

Was he the one who was a piece of shit? Or was that Crick?

I have a big head, so every pair of headphones I've used will eventually break there. At least these can be repaired.

Yep, it's the "probably" that creates the ethics conundrum. We won't know how to improve the process without testing the process, and we cannot ethically create "test" humans like that scene in Alien Resurrection where all the failed Sigourney clones are sitting in jars, suffering and begging for death.

sudo chown ./castle;/titles;/sexlaves

What? In my metaphor, Democrats are the nets made of sometimes poop, and Republicans are the turds. Was that not clear?

Yeah, sure. Gather the guillotine and meet me in the town square.

Look, if you're scooping turds out of a punch bowl, and the only tool you have is a net that might be made of turds, then you can either keep scooping or you can throw away the whole bowl of punch. You don't just give up and drink the punch because it's all the same. One is a turd in the punchbowl. The other is a mechanism for removing the turds, but it's also probably a turd. Doing something is still doing something, even if the punch is still shit.

"Is that right? I had heard an alternate theory..."

You're definitely wrong, and I know more about this than you do.

Nah, the hairs don't cooperate. If I cut away all the curly strands that stick out, I have no beard.

That's also true. Also, Leonidas from 300 was the reason I grew it out, but it's all curly and hoboish.

Perfection

This is me, except replace the second photo with Robin Williams in Jumanji after he comes out of the game.

Why the fuck did this link start downloading immediately?

You know, I was God once.

Shout is really effective in the moment at interrupting a process. I hate shouting, too, but sometimes it's necessary (and sometimes I lose my temper, but that's unintentional and is followed by an apology). Teaching a child empathy is a slow and constant process where the results aren't always immediately apparent.

You also don't want the punishment to be emotionally cruel. Like I wouldn't suggest you take her beloved toy away to replace something stolen. I wouldn't probibit a child from attending a party or experience that may not happen again. Parents sometimes feel like "something bad" needs to be emotionally devastating, or rigidly absolute. I had a friend in high school who missed his prom because he got a bad grade on an exam.

Regarding the apology being sincere, of course it's better to make an effort even if she isn't sincere, but the point is to make her actually feel bad for what she did, not because she was punished but because she understands how it made someone else feel. Some lessons aren't learned the first time, and the vast majority of people will make the same mistake more than once.

It's entirely normal, and not a failure of morals or parenting, for young children to lie and steal. She's learning how to be a person in a brain that's been conditioned to survive above all else. All morality is built on empathy, and all empathy is learned.

Anger and fear are not the best choice to get her to stop. Punishments and yelling will just train her to hide her bad choices from you. I would absolutely not involve third parties like the police. She is learning how to be a person from you, and if you threaten her with outside societal punishments, she will stop trusting that you are the best source of morality.

It's important to build trust. She needs to be comfortable telling you when she has done something you won't like. She should understand and believe that things are better when she makes good choices.

Taking away desserts works as a punishment because she is losing something good. Natural consequences are best because her developing brain will make stronger connections between cause and effect, but you want her to learn to feel empathy for her victim. I wouldn't ask her to give up something that isn't

The best response is to have a conversation with her about how it feels to have something stolen from her. Maybe share a story about something that was stolen from you, and ask her to identify the feelings you would have felt. You want her to internalize the feeling of guilt, because that's the voice in her head reminding her to ignore the desire to take something she wants.

If she thinks, "I want this, but the police might come get me" then the desire voice will whisper "then we better not get caught!" If she thinks "I want this, but taking it will hurt someone" then it makes no difference if she hides the crime from her parents. She might still steal and then lie avout it because she is ashamed, but that's where the trust pays off. Eventually, you want her to generalize that empathy to think "I shouldn't steal because this makes the world a worse place."

TLDR: Don't yell, definitely don't threaten with the police, talk with her about feelings and help her understand how it feels to have something good taken away (like dessert). Also, encourage her to apologize, but only if she sincerely feels sorry. You're not a bad parent, and she's not a bad kid. People aren't good or bad, it their choice that are good or bad.

Will Waymo accept when society starts killing robotaxis? Feels like self defense.