6mo ago

Trump given power to rename Greenland 'Red, White and Blueland' under new bill tabled by Republicans

www.lbc.co.uk

It is real!

https://buddycarter.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=15398

Rep. Earl L. “Buddy” Carter (R-GA) released the following statement today after introducing a bill authorizing President Trump to acquire Greenland and renaming it Red, White, and Blueland:
“America is back and will soon be bigger than ever with the addition of Red, White, and Blueland. President Trump has correctly identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority, and we will proudly welcome its people to join the freest nation to ever exist when our Negotiator-in-Chief inks this monumental deal.”

135 comments

WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING EGG PRICES YOU GERIATRIC FUCK?!?!
- I'm sorry, eggs come from female chickens, and any talk of that particular F-word is strictly forbidden.
  
  I give it another 2 weeks before they start saying that omelets are just chicken abortions.
  
  Fork this bullshut
- Ooohhh! Thank you for these!
- My partner and I moved into an eco village and are going to buy chickens this summer. Blew my mind to learn a live chicken only costs $75
  
  I can buy chicks from the tractor supply a half mile from my house for $4.99 a piece. They have multiple breeds there too. Been contemplating that investment for awhile…
  
  I get them from the farm lady down the street for like twelve bucks, she even let's me pick out the one I want, who sold you a single chicken for $75? Shame on them.
  
  Wait until you supplement feeding and have to worm them.
  
  I saw someone on the German equivalent to Craigslist selling a rooster for 5€ today. Said they had three home grown roosters and that's too many. It's a full grown rooster. I am both surprised that this is so cheap and that it's legal to just sell roosters like a second hand iPod.
- Stonks!
  egg companies
- Best I can do is a new global pandemic. But with no public information from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and without working with the World Health Organization.
- They. Don't. fucking. Care.
  Not blasting you, just a reminder for all of us. This was the end goal of a nationwide unified propaganda apparatus (Fox News, etc), pretending to work in the interests of workers, stealing Supreme Court seats, stoking hate/division, and implementing Project 2025. It worked. They have all 3 branches of government, are deleting knowledge and resources, decimating Congress-approved departments they don't like, deleting knowledge and resources, and wiping their asses with the Constitution they ignore. It's still worth resisting and fighting them every step of the way to fascism,I just hope it will be enough...
Dammit!
I said this as a joke nearly a month ago on Discord.
- all i get from this is that Donald Trump is in your discord server and stole your idea
  
  I know exactly who it is.
  Actually, I'm just going to accuse the one person I know that will be the most upset about me calling him out as Trump.
- Right, but this is the reality that runs on jokes, so you can't do that!
  
  I willed this into existence.
  
  You know what would be just hilarious? A land of peace, wellness, and equality.
- Nice job
Oh my fucking God. Holy sweet fucking Lord in heaven. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm already done.
- And here we are; all thinking that we are in the dumbest timeline. Turns out, we are all right about that.
  Let's see how dumb this timeline will get.
- Can I stick a fork in you?
- Me too... and I'm not even a Yank.
  It fucking pisses me off so much seeing the thick, orange, cunt-in-chief on our news day after fucking day talking absolute bollocks on the news...
Truly this will make eggs cheaper
- Sure, whatever. We’re living in the clown timeline anyway.
  
  hey be nice to the clowns this timeline is worse
- I'm sure he is just referencing Norway which originally claimed the land before "somehow" Denmark got it, right?
Every other country should unanimously vote to call the USA something stupid since apparently countries can just rename other countries
- Dumbfuckistan, I say this as an American....it's gotten so childish here.
  
  Let me know when they make a flag for Dumbfuckistan and I will fly that shit.
  
  The founding fathers would be disgusted at such an unlettered (read illiterate) individual taking over the country.
- I mean countries have always done that, just not quite this stupid but also often very stupid. People in Japan call their country Nippon, not Japan. People in Germany call their country Deutschland. There's a ton of countries that English just straight up changed the names of for reasons varying from some form of probable racism to misunderstanding that they never bothered resolving.
  I'm not defending this move, it's dumb as hell. Just pointing out that "dumb as hell" isn't new.
  
  In French Deutschland is Allemagne because of some random tribe we named for how they said everybody.
  I'm pretty sure we just sent some half deaf guy to Asia too. And that's how Nippon became Japon, Beijing became Pekin, etc.
  Amyways, exonyms are cringe.
- "Here be orange goblin"
- Or they should start viewing America as a rogue nation bent on taking the land of others. 👀
  
  I mean if they do that then they're late to the party. He's been doing talking about doing it since day 1
identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority
This is no joke and he’s going to start taking land. He’s serious about Canada too.
Fuck everyone in advance who buys the security angle.
Nazi shit shined with a US flag and it’s ok with the USA.
Cool. Just renamed my apartment "The REAL United States of America". Every room is now a new state. The guest bathroom is obviously "New Ohio". There. See how much that lowered egg prices?
- Your apartment has 50 rooms?! I'm guessing the bathrooms are our territories?
Red + Blue = Purple + White = .. Lilac?
Lilacland?
- Tbh that's a really cute name.
- I bet they have a lot of Lilacs there, we should go
The geopolitical fanfiction writes itself. Renaming Greenland like some corporate rebrand desperate to distract from melting assets – national security theater now starring spray-painted glaciers. The cognitive contortions needed to frame territorial karaoke as "strategic expansion" would earn Olympic gold in mental gymnastics.
They've upgraded from labeling dissenters "anti-American" to legislating cartographic fanfic. Six-month bureaucratic deadlines for rewriting maps? Peak legislative productivity achieved while infrastructure crumbles and healthcare implodes. At least the Sharpie industry thrives.
Denmark's diplomatic eye-roll echoes through the performative patriotism. Soft power evolves into PowerPoint jingoism – why address rising seas when you can rename them? The real climate action? Mandating all future hurricanes adopt surnames from Founding Fathers. Priorities, people.
This has to be ragebait cover for something else, right?
Like even the dimmest, least self aware, MAGA-hat-wearing dumbass would feel embarrassed to say "Red, White, and Blueland" out loud.
Right???
- I want to agree, but these people wore diapers for him. The only further absurdity is the war over it for the minerals and arctic claim under the guise of national security.
  It’s rage bait to hide a real enemy to the rest of us.
- It's bait for the media (and everyone else) so they have something funny to feed their audience and can pretend it's just silly nonsense while ignoring the part that authorizes the "President" to acquire Greenland.
- This has to be ragebait cover for something else, right?
  It is standard political procedure. Watch for what other bills and policies are being put on the table that would undermine the working and middle class. The point of all this, is to tire the public from all the farcical news, while the real news is behind closed doors being ironed out.
- You think too highly of them, but this is probably rage bait. If they could feel embarrassment they wouldn't have voted for Trump the first time let alone once more. One way to begin to understand the MAGA mindset is by reading Settlers.
I'm fairly certain this is real news and not a parody.
Edit: Yes it is: https://buddycarter.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=15398
- I thought I was genuinely being tricked when reading this article. Thank you for providing a source.
This government is stupider and more childish than any TikTok challenge to date... combined
It's been less than a month since he's been in office and this is a visual representation on how I feel about the whole thing...
I feel so bad for Americans having to put up with this.
This rhetoric is terrifying. Look at that speech. That's getting stoned on your own farts and getting them preemptively fresh speech. That's the sort of way literally only cultists and fascist governments speak. That's a dprk ass comment.
The EU should come together and rename USA as "Lalaland". Since that's apparently a thing countries do now?
You know how the germans act when we talk about Hitler?! That will be americans in the future. Like WHAT THE FUCK?
- Its me already
  
  I'm with you
- NGL, I am for a future where we survived this and calling someone trump is the modern equal or replacement for Hitler. We already are echoing Rome.
  
  I want Captain America punching Elon, and Wonder Woman doing the same to Trump. Honestly, we have a rogue's gallery of villains in Project 2025.
I fully expected Trump to drag America in a farcical dictatorship if he was reelected.
I just expected it to take longer.
- I honestly assumed the Dems wouldn't fuck the pooch so hard they lost control of literally everything, and we'd get four years of slightly worse status quo as they try to run everything through the SC for a rubber stamp
  🤷‍♂️
Oh look it's the United States Congress version of shitposting.
I don't know why they need a bill for this. Apparently the President can just sign an executive order renaming geographical features, and everyone just had to go along with it.
- Every American. The rest of us just watch in horror, wondering why the adults in the room don't do something.
  
  I got bad news for you. We export our bullshit, and your leaders are probably lapping it up right now.
  
  The "adults" in the room are those parents who only give into the screaming toddler, creating a kid who cries every time to get what he wants.
God damn it, this is the prequel to Idiocracy isn't it? Is this just a simulation so an A I. can generate a movie for someone? This is my far the dumbest thing I have ever heard a politician doing as a legit political act. All we're missing is a, 'brought to you by Carl Jr's' attached to the bill.
- Reality is even worse than Idiocracy, because at least President Camacho recognised his own limitations and asked the smartest person in the room to help.
This is worse than some parodies
Ok, I don't support these clowns, and I hate that this is the way the public is finding out, but isn't it nice that people are starting to truly see how incapable, incompetent, and corrupt our elected leaders have always been?
- Where are these people that are starting to see this? The morons that voted for Trump are ecstatic with these distractions.
  There was a discussion recently on reddit and basically almost everyone agreed that the Republicans in their circles don't see anything wrong with what the government is doing, Musk and all.
  
  I would never claim involved conservatives are capable of learning.
  Do not underestimate how little the VERY VAST majority of people know about government or politics. I recently explained blue/red, left/right, lib/con, progressive/regressive are all related and blew someone's mind. Then they asked "which ones are the bad ones" and I said "that is subjective and it depends on your views". After very little explanation, they were socially liberal but fairly conservative fiscally (keep in mind, this was a disconnected completely normal person just going from day to day). It is hard to imagine, with the news and all, people not knowing the basics, but that really is the default. They often only know what they have been told growing up and nothing else.
- Ever seen those movies like OG Running Man where there’s a dystopian tv show within the wreckage of society and people love it? Well, life imitates art in this case except it’s our government that is the dystopian show and the uneducated masses love it. They want the violence to happen and the sex offenders in charge. It’s their shitshow and they aren’t offended by it, they want more.
- Going to be interesting hearing people tell me why it's actually great that we started another world war to steal land from one of our allies so we can give it a name even a 10 year old boy would call lame. Because you know Denmark is never going to sell it to us. The people who live there have no interest in being a US territory. Why would they? I hope these MAGA fuckers are happy sending their sons off to die for Trump's ego.
there's no way we're not living in a simulation. it fucking sucks. Please, somebody delete me right now I don't want to play anymore 😭
I wonder if the any Russians reading this might wonder if this was how their government sounded when they invaded Ukraine.
Thankfully, the dipshit, Buddy, is not related to former President Jimmy Carter.
What is he doing or plotting that is so brutal as to create such a smokescreen?
I'm not saying this as a joke, but I recently saw the movie Greenland and I'm confident this is all happening because he watched it.
- He saved his family, but boy did he fuck over a lot of people to get there. A lot more people could have been saved had he not been such a massive asshole throughout the movie. I'm still not sure if that was the intent on the character's portrayal, but towards the end I was actively rooting for him to fail.
  
  Oh if you're talking about the plane scene I agree 100%.
- How's the movie? It only got a 6 in imdb but I'm curious.
  
  I liked it. Straight forward disaster movie. Palatable for lots of people. It doesn't do anything ground breaking, but that's often not what I'm looking for in movies.
  I like high budget camera work and lighting and don't mind getting mad at characters when bad stuff happens.
Careful, his idiot followers are going to believe this 4200%
Those colors don't even make green you morons
A new British island?
- They forget we had a red, white, and blue Brexit.
- No, trump's flag is further east.
I know this is all a distraction so they can do even more fucked up shit, but this is next level stupid. My nephew could come up with something better.
I hate this fucking country and I'm going to either get out or go off-grid as soon as I can muster it financially
Orangeland.
Are google and Apple gonna go along with this as well?
- They care about money. If they don't go alone with it they probably get fined. So yeah, I think they will.
  And it's not uncommon. Lots of countries don't call other countries by their names. Japan is Nihon. China is Zhōngguó. Germany is Deutschland.
  But those are for historical reasons, changing it specifically to be different is nuts.
Let’s face it, calling anything “green” is woke.
/s
- If all AOC had to do was rebrand it to the Red White and Blue New Deal to get Republicans on board, I'm going to have an aneurysm.
  This nonsensical stunt is the political equivalent of jingling keys in front of a baby.
This is a kind of thing that a Metal Gear villain would pull.
Where's the cyborg twink Raiden to stop this? Or Snake. Or anyone else. Even Machine Gun Kid would suffice (Kid With A Mere AR15 missed by a lot).
- The way things are going, this would probably become a legit political platform...
  PRESIDENT ARMSTRONG: You still don’t get it, ITS ABOUT THOSE WHO WILL NOT, NOT THOSE WHO CANNOT, IN MY NEW AMERICA THE POOR WILL BE ENSURED OF THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS, WAR WILL BE FOUGHT BY EVERY MAN, NOT BY INTEREST GROUPS, AGAINST EVERY MAN
- Red, White and Blueland??? Trump is a juvenile version of Dr Evil, right down to the goofy run that his son, Scot would have (but with more waddle)
"is to be given" is the wrong case to use, the bill is in committee. "Would be given" would be better to say.
Fuck us all forever.
Lets get some new names for russia china and brazil while we're at it. Ill start brazil is now south texas
Mmhmm, and while youre having fun with this stunt Trump is dismantling what little safety net you had left for personal gain. Its time to stop the outrage machine and either do something with your rage or accept your new circumstances
Look at this humpty dumpty orange motherfucker
“There’s glory for you.”
“I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory’,” Alice said.
Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don’t – till I tell you. I meant ‘there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!’”
“But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’,” Alice objected.
“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.”
Alice considered a little. “But surely,” she said in a sudden flash of inspiration, “you simply have to agree with me that ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’, it means ‘glory’.”
“Not in the slightest bit,” humphed Humpty Dumpty, “I disagree with you totally.”
“Ah,” replied Alice cunningly, “so you do agree with me, for when I hear someone say ‘I disagree with you’, I think they mean ‘I agree with you totally’, don’t you? When I hear a word, it means just what I choose it to mean – nothing more nor less.”
“It is a most provoking thing,” Humpty Dumpty cried, breaking into a sudden passion, “when little girls make it impossible to disagree with them.”
“So,” said Alice, “now you do agree with me that ‘glory’ means ‘glory’.”
“Wrong!” Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly, “it would be alright for me to say that ‘I disagree with you’ meant ‘I agree with you’, because I believe in that sort of thing; but you don’t, or you wouldn’t be being so awkward about it! You can’t go using other people’s arguments against themselves, that’s plagiarism!”
(“He talks about it just as if it was a game!” thought Alice.) Trying hard to conceal her vexation with the phantasmagorical egg, Alice delivered her coup de grâce : “I’m afraid that you can’t get out of it like that Mr. Dumpty, it just won’t do at all. You think that words mean whatever you choose them to mean, but in order to say that I disagree with you, you have to agree with, or understand, my use of words; and if you agree with me, then you can’t disagree!”
“It’s very provoking,” Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence, looking away from Alice as he spoke. “I’d rather see that done on paper.”
“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so little.” “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “who is to be master – that’s all.”
- Wittgenstein is typing...
the freest nation to ever exist
No one actually believes this, right?
Three weeks and he's run out of energy for his hissy fits, get ready for JD Vance to have to pedal all this shit
Sounds like a shitty theme park.

135 comments