Trump given power to rename Greenland 'Red, White and Blueland' under new bill tabled by Republicans

The EU should come together and rename USA as "Lalaland". Since that's apparently a thing countries do now?

This rhetoric is terrifying. Look at that speech. That's getting stoned on your own farts and getting them preemptively fresh speech. That's the sort of way literally only cultists and fascist governments speak. That's a dprk ass comment.

I fully expected Trump to drag America in a farcical dictatorship if he was reelected.

I just expected it to take longer.

This has to be ragebait cover for something else, right?

Like even the dimmest, least self aware, MAGA-hat-wearing dumbass would feel embarrassed to say "Red, White, and Blueland" out loud.

Right???

I wonder if the any Russians reading this might wonder if this was how their government sounded when they invaded Ukraine.

Every other country should unanimously vote to call the USA something stupid since apparently countries can just rename other countries

Are google and Apple gonna go along with this as well?

Let’s face it, calling anything “green” is woke.

/s

I don't know why they need a bill for this. Apparently the President can just sign an executive order renaming geographical features, and everyone just had to go along with it.

I hate this fucking country and I'm going to either get out or go off-grid as soon as I can muster it financially

It's been less than a month since he's been in office and this is a visual representation on how I feel about the whole thing...

I feel so bad for Americans having to put up with this.

This is worse than some parodies

Ok, I don't support these clowns, and I hate that this is the way the public is finding out, but isn't it nice that people are starting to truly see how incapable, incompetent, and corrupt our elected leaders have always been?

God damn it, this is the prequel to Idiocracy isn't it? Is this just a simulation so an A I. can generate a movie for someone? This is my far the dumbest thing I have ever heard a politician doing as a legit political act. All we're missing is a, 'brought to you by Carl Jr's' attached to the bill.

Look at this humpty dumpty orange motherfucker

“There’s glory for you.”

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory’,” Alice said.

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don’t – till I tell you. I meant ‘there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!’”

“But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’,” Alice objected.

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.”

Alice considered a little. “But surely,” she said in a sudden flash of inspiration, “you simply have to agree with me that ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’, it means ‘glory’.”

“Not in the slightest bit,” humphed Humpty Dumpty, “I disagree with you totally.”

“Ah,” replied Alice cunningly, “so you do agree with me, for when I hear someone say ‘I disagree with you’, I think they mean ‘I agree with you totally’, don’t you? When I hear a word, it means just what I choose it to mean – nothing more nor less.”

“It is a most provoking thing,” Humpty Dumpty cried, breaking into a sudden passion, “when little girls make it impossible to disagree with them.”

“So,” said Alice, “now you do agree with me that ‘glory’ means ‘glory’.”

“Wrong!” Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly, “it would be alright for me to say that ‘I disagree with you’ meant ‘I agree with you’, because I believe in that sort of thing; but you don’t, or you wouldn’t be being so awkward about it! You can’t go using other people’s arguments against themselves, that’s plagiarism!”

(“He talks about it just as if it was a game!” thought Alice.) Trying hard to conceal her vexation with the phantasmagorical egg, Alice delivered her coup de grâce : “I’m afraid that you can’t get out of it like that Mr. Dumpty, it just won’t do at all. You think that words mean whatever you choose them to mean, but in order to say that I disagree with you, you have to agree with, or understand, my use of words; and if you agree with me, then you can’t disagree!”

“It’s very provoking,” Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence, looking away from Alice as he spoke. “I’d rather see that done on paper.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so little.” “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “who is to be master – that’s all.”

This is a kind of thing that a Metal Gear villain would pull.

Where's the cyborg twink Raiden to stop this? Or Snake. Or anyone else. Even Machine Gun Kid would suffice (Kid With A Mere AR15 missed by a lot).

identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority

This is no joke and he’s going to start taking land. He’s serious about Canada too.

Fuck everyone in advance who buys the security angle.

Nazi shit shined with a US flag and it’s ok with the USA.

Lets get some new names for russia china and brazil while we're at it. Ill start brazil is now south texas

You know how the germans act when we talk about Hitler?! That will be americans in the future. Like WHAT THE FUCK?

Sounds like a shitty theme park.

This government is stupider and more childish than any TikTok challenge to date... combined

there's no way we're not living in a simulation. it fucking sucks. Please, somebody delete me right now I don't want to play anymore 😭

Red, White, and Blueland

Does this mean France, and Russia, and every other country with those colors in their flags also have claims to that land?

Dammit!

I said this as a joke nearly a month ago on Discord.

WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING EGG PRICES YOU GERIATRIC FUCK?!?!

Red + Blue = Purple + White = .. Lilac?

Lilacland?

Cool. Just renamed my apartment "The REAL United States of America". Every room is now a new state. The guest bathroom is obviously "New Ohio". There. See how much that lowered egg prices?

Oh my fucking God. Holy sweet fucking Lord in heaven. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm already done.

The geopolitical fanfiction writes itself. Renaming Greenland like some corporate rebrand desperate to distract from melting assets – national security theater now starring spray-painted glaciers. The cognitive contortions needed to frame territorial karaoke as "strategic expansion" would earn Olympic gold in mental gymnastics.

They've upgraded from labeling dissenters "anti-American" to legislating cartographic fanfic. Six-month bureaucratic deadlines for rewriting maps? Peak legislative productivity achieved while infrastructure crumbles and healthcare implodes. At least the Sharpie industry thrives.

Denmark's diplomatic eye-roll echoes through the performative patriotism. Soft power evolves into PowerPoint jingoism – why address rising seas when you can rename them? The real climate action? Mandating all future hurricanes adopt surnames from Founding Fathers. Priorities, people.

Thankfully, the dipshit, Buddy, is not related to former President Jimmy Carter.

"is to be given" is the wrong case to use, the bill is in committee. "Would be given" would be better to say.

Careful, his idiot followers are going to believe this 4200%

Those colors don't even make green you morons

Truly this will make eggs cheaper

I'm fairly certain this is real news and not a parody.

Edit: Yes it is: https://buddycarter.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=15398

A new British island?

Oh look it's the United States Congress version of shitposting.

I'm not saying this as a joke, but I recently saw the movie Greenland and I'm confident this is all happening because he watched it.

What is he doing or plotting that is so brutal as to create such a smokescreen?

Fuck us all forever.

I know this is all a distraction so they can do even more fucked up shit, but this is next level stupid. My nephew could come up with something better.

Orangeland.

Mmhmm, and while youre having fun with this stunt Trump is dismantling what little safety net you had left for personal gain. Its time to stop the outrage machine and either do something with your rage or accept your new circumstances

Three weeks and he's run out of energy for his hissy fits, get ready for JD Vance to have to pedal all this shit