AND THEY DIDN'T STOP EATING

I've seen this one!

Oh, these are the new billionaire inbreds?
Just kidding, fuck yeah, I'll always upvote "the thing".
you beat me to it with about 3h. these are mandatory flashbacks for anyone who has watched the movie and saw this meme

Can't snack on the tomb cheese.
Can't slurp the sarcophagus juice.
Can't eat ancient worms.
What is there to live for.

In pre-slavic society, you don't eat worm. Worm eats you, then commands you to reproduce so worm has more you to eat.
There are those packing peanuts made from corn starch.
If I remember correctly, the industry term for packing peanuts is "void filler" so, fill that void!
- Be blessed by the 2.6k years old tomb cheese.
  https://allthatsinteresting.com/ancient-egyptian-tomb-cheese

Despite the apparent huge age gap, they can still date under the “half your age plus 7” rule.

*half your age plus 700

Yes, but they starved for lack of brains :(
- It might not have been the worm actually. Missing a chunk of brain runs in his family on his uncle's side.
No. He killed those ones with horse dewormer trying to prevent COVID

Would anyone still love me if I was a 41,700 y/o worm? 🥺

Are we just looking for imaginative ways to destroy ourselves at this point? We have enough options already! But we have to keep looking for more creative previously unknown ways to kill ourselves.

We've got to leave something interesting for the alien xeno-archaeologists of the future to uncover.
- Xeno-archaeologist 1,000 years from now: ..... yeah .... it's another one .... fourth one in this sector .... just blew themselves up and destroyed everything for some dumb reason ... probably economics like in that last system 35 light years away .... too bad ... if we had arrived earlier, we could have helped them out ... oh well
- Exactly, do you want them to know we polluted ourselves to death? That's just shameful
  Now, if we accidentally unleashed an ancient parasite? That's just unfortunate
Maybe it's related to thawing of permafrost and they want to research what to do if all the frozen bugs come back to life

Worst that there are also unknown Virus and Bacteria found in the Permafrost, which are also defrosted with the Climate change. A lot are also still life..

Although, most likely less-evolved hence less-threathening than the current virus and bacterias.
- Not less evolved. Just evolved differently for alternative environmental circumstances.
  There is no hierarchy of evolutionary traits. Just an amalgamation of traits that are or are not useful in the current environment. What genetic makeup is effective in one place and time is useless in another, and what was once useless may now be beneficial.
  We have no clue how threatening they could potentially be.
- Is the saber toothed tiger less threatening than the common house cat ?
- They are investigating it, some million years in the oldest beeings in Earth don't make evolutive difference to the current ones. The only question is, if they can infect humans or animals or not. The climate change make that all tipe of indesirable things are defrosted, adding more dangerous diseases to the existing ones.
- That's not how evolution works.
- Viruses and bacteria don't evolve to kill you. They propogate in your system to spread themselves. It's actually in their best interest to keep you alive, so the more evolved ones would be less deadly because they've had more time to dial it in. Not that evolution is something they choose, it's from mutations that work more or less better.
More fun still - prions.
Your autoclave won't help you now, kids.
Let's just hope that they have no compatible hosts on Earth

Normally I recommend we start small, just a little fire.

Fuck it in this case. Exterminatus.

I love that "Uh, guys?" is a real in-character reaction and moment in many episodes of SG1. This story easily could have been a plot in the show.

While Star Trek had these wonderful "this is why we explore the galaxy" moments, SG1 wasn't afraid to place characters face-to-face with something or someone that would just erase existence or end humanity if the next moment wasn't handled the right way.

Gonna need to break out the board from Cabin in the Woods

Their opponent:

Oh they are going to love microplastics

Who is that fine looking gentleman with the godawful haircut?

Don't worry, he's died like 5 times
- Then ascended
Character is Daniel Jackson from Stargate SG-1
- Very underrated show.
Canadian actor Michael Shanks.

I wonder how this is going to advance the status of cryogenic freezing.

It won't. That's simply not possible for an organism as large and complex as a human being. You can watch this for a more detailed explanation.
- Not yet atleast, until human genetic engineering is legalized

Did the scientists at least think the worms were getting better on the drums?

Perchance they are together with a Jewish bass player.

The Russians were pissed when all of their soldiers died and only SG-1 made it out alive.

Worm 1 [Healthy] Age 2 quadrums (32000) of Russia Consuming nutrient paste

Worm 2 [Healthy] Age 1 (41700) of Russia Consuming nutrient paste

worm 2 has gone into a murderous rage, and will kill anyone he sees

Tek ma te

The very hungry helminths.

Must be famished after all that time

Yes, danieljackson?

Several<>two

Several were defrosted, two woke up
= The others didn't.
RIP worms
The dictionary definition says more than two, but it also says it mean some; which has a definition of an unspecified amount.
- One funny thing about the dictionary is that complex words are explained in simple language and simple words are explained in complex language.
- Unspecified amount which is greater than two.

they should eat one, or place it in their ear canal :)

~~They are yet to defrost more members of United Russia~~