Rereads Tesla’s mission statement.
“Accelerating the world’s transition to sustainable energy.”
Stares at 3 ton lump of stainless steel parked in driveway.
As a machinist and welder, I would strongly prefer an actual 6000 lb lump of stainless over a cybertruck. I can actually use stainless steel to make things.
Owned by a man that is trying to elect Donald Trump, who is famously opposed to renewable energy.
Glencore rubs hands together eagerly
"the mission" being what, exactly? make a rich jerkoff richer, so he can lie to you about exciting inventions that never come to light?
The copium is strong
Let's not forget everyone is already paying for "the mission" through tax payer subsidies.
Something something mars.
Loyalty to Tesla what the actual fuck? Don't be loyal to a brand ever.
I guarantee the actual thought process is "Musk supports Trump, and you should also be supporting Trump, so support Musk even more by deepthroating the upsell."
I had the displeasure of seeing one of these contraptions in person for the first time recently. Pictures do not adequately convey just how ugly these abominations are.
I saw one for the first time on the road today. The thing made me bust out laughing. It looks absurd.
I live in California and see maybe 20 every day. It never gets old laughing at them. Had a customer yesterday who owned one as well as a model s. The S was in his garage but not his toy truck. He was a douche so I fucked with him.
"How do you like your truck?"
"Love it, it's so sick bro"
"How come you don't park it in your garage with your car? Will it not fit?"
"No, it just barely fits, but I like having it outside so people see it."
"Aren't you worried about people fucking with it or it rusting? Heard they rust easily"
"Where did you hear that? This baby is stainless steel!"
"Literally everywhere on the internet, that's why so many people get it wrapped apparently. Also, have you taken it in for any of the recalls?"
"It hasn't had any recalls bro, this thing is perfect"
"Hmm. I heard it had like 5 recalls already, you should look into it."
"That's just haters taking shit dude it isn't true."
"Yeah, you're prolly right. This thing gets a lot of hate from like everyone for being ridiculous and impractical, but Elon musk made it so it must be awesome."
"Bro literally invented spaceships dude he's a legit genius."
"Pretty sure he didn't invent them. He just owns the company."
He proceeded to explain that he may not have made the first one but he'll be the first to get man to Mars and spaceships weren't cool until he made them that way. He used the truck as evidence of his genius and how he will be humanities savior. I was fucking speechless honestly. The only thing genius about this is he cornered the fucking enormous douchebag market so well they gaslight themselves into believing that we're all jealous and or too poor to understand. I spray for bugs for a living. This guy got water sprayed on his property and I don't feel even remotely bad about it.
I didn't realize how big they were until one of my kids ran over to "the fortnite truck". Massive, ugly, and expensive.
Oh yeah. And not just big. Like big in a this truck has no usable space kind of big and long. So long.
And yet they’re much smaller than most of the Ford trucks out there.
I just realized. It has size of a bus and capacity of a car.
It also has a poly count lower than most people's shoe size.
So this century's civilian hummer.
There are at least 4 different ones around where I live. I know, because they are all wrapped in different colors. One unwraped, one blue, one red, one white, and one black. Its astounding that many people bought it out around here
"I'm leaving, Jeremy."
"OK but before you go can you take one more picture of me with the Tesla® Cybertruck™? I don't think I looked sad enough in the last one about all those dollars that people aren't giving to Elon."
This is 100% engagement bait.
With how some of those Muskrats are, I'm honestly not sure about that.
As beautifully as the name fits, I feel bad for the actual muskrats of our creeks and marshes.
Everytime I see a cybertruck, It makes me think of the "Fighting Polygon Team" from Super Smash Brothers N64. Each polygon character is a essentially a weaker knockoff of an actual character from the game. I haven't played that game in years but I seem to remember it was my least favorite level from single player mode.
This is cult follower speaking patterns.
All of these people from Muskrats to Trumpers are all looking for simple answers and solutions to how fucked up our world is from whoever will give it to them.
They want to be in a cult ever if they don’t realize it because then they have an authority to make all the decisions for them
Your comment is selfish, really. How does this comment support our mission to achieve global market domination? You need to sleep in the basement until your reprogramming session is complete. Enlightenment is earned.
Holy shit, how pathetic can you be?
It’s hard to admit you’re wrong when you’re in a cult.
...Wow, what a moron.
"Tesla engineer Wes Morrill responded to the finger-crush video on X on Thursday with some patiently worded advice for Judkins. He wrote that if you repeatedly try to close the frunk, the software will apply more closing force, assuming “you, as the human” knows what you’re doing. (Key word: assume.)"
This could make a text book example for edge cases.
That some Yakusa shit
Of course he's from Florida
C
ybertruck.Cybertruckold
Is this the legendary free market when you must buy cybertruck or mElon will be sad?
Have to feed melon husk more money else he will go hungry.
I refuse to believe this is real.
Mostly for self protection.
see...
THIS is why people say you're in a cult.
Bro that's HERESY against Lord Elon!
get a life. What a loser
Every time I see one of these trying to find a parking space at the grocery store I feel vicarious shame for the driver. Truly, the scarlet letter of the 21st Century.
I was thinking a similar thing earlier. Instead of publically marking an arbitrary demographic as undesirable, an actually undesirable demographic marks itself
Minecraft Delorean.
I looked him up.
"The best Tesla cybertruck influencer"
....
... ... ..............
On that Apple shit
What's even different about the "foundation edition"
Pay extra for the same product because
you're a simpreasonsYou get ripped off even more!
You get all the bugs and don't get to miss a single recall.
I wonder if it's anything like the Wozniak version of the Apple IIGS which had his signature on the case. The first several thousand made were like that. No other physical differences.
It's a $20000 fee for being served "first" and a "LasEr-cUt BADge"
this is yet another example of a second generation billionaire thinking that all the ideas that his brain produces must be phenomenal.
Probably a bag holder who bought Tesla stock at the peak.
Definitely did NOT perform analingus on the dirty butthole of Elon Musk.
Don't be mean. He really really wants to.
It's a cult!
He’s so aroused by thoughts of Elon that he’s gazing into the distance and curling his toes.
Elon Cucks
I don't know if it was always like this, like pre internet, but I remember when I first started hearing people concerning themselves with the profitability of corporations online.
It was somewhere around the start of the eternal September (I was one of the unwashed tech illiterate masses), and I witnessed people having the most furious debates about video game company / console profitability, and it just never ended.
I wonder if it was just my first encounter to seeing so many Americans in one (virtual) place, or if it was the latent tribalism of the internet, or just nerds having fun crunching their nerd numbers. But I still see way too much of it.
It has got better in some of the chiller places on the internet, though. Which are about the only places I frequent.
Curious to hear other people's perspectives on this kind of parasocial relationship with corps / brands.
I think it was a different flavor.
You'd have your fave department store, mall, multiplex, fast food joint, TV channel etc
Nawww, look at him sitting there sulking like a widdle Baby, are you upset because nobody think your truck you paid extra for is cool?
cradle the balls...stroke the shaft...work the pipe...swallow the gravy
Rivian is still a better pic smh my head
sarcasm? this can't be a serious post!
He's simping hard
Glazing at it's finest
parasocial
It’s true, the cybertruck is an amazing product. It’s frankly unbelievable that that thing actually exists, can move (generally speaking) and even has people who like its exterior as “beautiful”.
Amazing, really.
