Check on your male friends to see if they need help

"Men are victims of the patriarchy too" is an incredibly powerful message that I wish more men understood.

"You're gay if you don't like football", "you're wasting your life if you don't want to get married and have kids", "you'll never find a husband if you don't wear makeup", "you're not a real man if you cry". The patriarchy is sexist to everyone, and that's why everyone should give a shit.
When I found out the patriarchy wasn’t about horses, I lost interest.
- It's like when you talk to a small business owner. They'll talk about how the banks and big companies screw them left and right, but they'll also tell you that they think they'll end up Bill Gates. Same delusion
I hate this way of putting it, especially because it puts the blame on a single gender. It's not JUST men who shoehorn people into gender roles, we all do it.
It's off putting to me and I tend to dismiss the entire thing because it basically says that men being bad also hurts men. Had it said that men also are victims of gender roles I would immediately agree, and I can't imagine that I'm the only one who feels this way.
- That's why it's so important to specify that men are victims of patriarchy, not victims of men. Everyone, regardless of gender, has an environmental tendency to reinforce the societal structure that we label "Patriarchy", as you say (and I/many agree), but there's far more to it than the idea of "men first women second". The idea behind the phrase is not "everyone vs. men" but rather "everyone vs. harmful but deeply engrained social construct".
I find it interesting that, under a post on how men and, even more often, women, ignore men's mental health, you feel the need to specify that it's the men that lack understanding of the problem.
- In conversations I've had around this I've found that women get this immediately, even if they hadn't considered it before. But men tend to be very resistant to the idea.
As a father who is very involved in my kids’ life, I feel this frequently. At the start of each school year I submit my contact info as the primary contact info and yet sometimes emails will circulate among the class moms anyway. Or I’ll get a text from another kid’s mom asking for my wife’s number so they can plan something.
When we started making friends with parents of my kid, all the moms in the group created a chat group which they still use to this day. The dads didn’t make one because that’s just not a thing you do, and I wasn’t invited to the moms group, even though I knew them at least as well as she did, and I am the extrovert and my wife is the introvert. So I frequently feel lonely and isolated (I also WFH) and my wife is socially overwhelmed.
Yes I could just buck the system and try to get the dads to have a group, or have my wife add me into the moms group, or similar things in other areas of life. But that’s the point: any time I do that I’ll be going against the grain.
- I have struggled so hard with this. My child's school cannot seem to understand that I, the father, am the one who primarily takes care of my daughter. My wife and I have started to flat out refuse to give the school my wife's contact info, even as an "emergency contact", just to make them communicate with me. I did manage to make a bunch of faculty at her old school mad when I asked, publicly, why they felt the need to discriminate against me when trying to contact patents, and this had the unintended effect of making a bunch of other fathers in the group pop up and ask the same question. Now my daughter is old enough that she, herself, will call them out on it. Having a ten year old lose her shit and tell the teacher that she needs to contact the right parent is really funny, almost as funny as when they insisted on contacting my wife instead of me, again, to complain that my kid had yelled at them for not contacting me.
- I deal with this also except my ex abandoned us to move states away. She will still get notifications via email or text that she forwarded to me because they have her information on file. They have her information because I was forced to provide divorce paperwork showing I had custody of the kids to enroll them in school. Wonder how many moms get asked for paperwork proving custody when they try enrolling their kids in school. It’s reduced over the last three years but the first couple were ridiculous. Finally have a mom of one kid and dad of another kid that recognize I’m a parent to my children. Everything is stupid though. Every doctors apt, school visit, dentist apt, hell even trips to the store. Some BS content like “where’s mom” or “oh you’re filling in today”. I’m so sick of it. I cope by telling myself that at least it would be worse if the love of my life died horrifically instead of going bananas and abandoning us and I had to deal with this shit. At some point I’m worried I’ll snap at people but I never want to say anything negative about her around the kids.
- Very similar. With our work schedules I end up spending more time with the kids than Mom does. My commute is much shorter and I can work from home a day or so a week. I feel like there is this whole network I am freezed out of.
Agreed.
My husband has had virtually no emotional support from anyone, so much so that he doesn't understand how to communicate any of his feelings.
"How do you feel?" "I don't know" "Can I do something to help?" "I don't know"
I definitely don't ignore his mental health but his lack of communication drives me up the pole. Often I have to just walk away out of frustration. I wish I understood how to get through to him without it making me want to bash my own skull against the wall. I think a big part of it is that he doesn't want to admit that he has any emotions at all
- "How do you feel?" "I don't know" "Can I do something to help?" "I don't know"
  Yeah. That's real fun isn't it? And I really don't know. I'm luckier than most men, in that I have an understanding wife who doesn't use my emotions against me.
- Therapy and/or an ADHD diagnosis (not joking, one symptom of neuroatypical people is the inability to identify emotions in themselves (like me lol)).
- Maybe this could help him? It's from a peer counselor who deals a lot with these types of problems, usually with fairly nerdy guys, many of them on the spectrum.
I think it's sadly one of those things that people don't understand until it happens to them. They'll leave other men to their private hells and when it's their turn they wonder why everyone has abandoned them like they did other men so many times before.
Yeah, the 99% of us have far more in common with each other than with the 1%. It's oligarchy through plutocracy, not patriarchy.
- Ideals of masculinity aren't instilled in children by the 1%, they are perpetuated by parents and peers at a personal level.
Nah. It's just an attempt to steer the conversation back to women's issues. It's just less on the nose than "...And that's why you need feminism^TM!"
- I'm not quite sure what you're saying here? You don't think that the masculinity that gets taught to men is a problem for their mental health?
- Thanks for articulating that. I've always felt that the title for a phenomenon that oppresses people based on their gender shouldn't be named for one of them. It doesn't help anyone.
Men understand it already. It's the women who don't.
- I don't find this to be true, in my experience. Most men I've discussed this with are very resistant to the idea.
Men do understand it. We live through it every day. It's the women who need to understand it. It's the women who seem to think that men have great lives and everything is given to them. That's not the case at all.
- Men might understand that they are unhappy, but I don't think most men blame that on the cultural ideals of masculity that are pushed on them their whole lives. If most men do understand that, then why do they struggle so much to change? The common messaging in men's mental health is usually around telling men that it is ok to have feelings, ok to talk about them, ok to cry and show emotions. If men understand that they are being victimised by other men (and themselves) and the social pressures to conform, why is it so difficult to get those messages through to them?
  And I mean, the fact that you feel the need throw blame on women here (who are also victimised by the same system) seems like you're not actually blaming the patriarchy?
- ehhhh. often it comes out as "I'm unhappy because of women". it takes a special kind of introspection to really understand that you're participating in and probably reinforcing the system that you're suffering from.
It's all very much a class war that gets masqueraded as a sex/political war
- There can be more than one thing.
- Maybe it is just that I have had a long day, but please explain how the wealth devide is causing people to feel like they need to conform to toxic gender roles.
- The one track mind of communists
!mensliberation@lemmy.ca
Most feminists don't even acknowledge this. Or they say even if men are victims, they deserve it for participating in the patriarchy.
- Wrong, this is something almost universally acknowledged in feminist circles.
- As a staunch feminist whose friends are all feminists, I have never heard a single one say—or even imply—anything like that. I very much know how extremely painful it is to have your feelings ignored and invalidated, so garbage like that is a dealbreaker.
  If you're hearing this claim from people irl, they're saying it because they're shitty people... not because they call themselves "feminists".
I think most of us understand how things are. The problem is the one's whose opinions matter don't give a fuck about changing anything because they're at the top of the hierarchy. They benefit from treating the rest of us like shit.
It's kind of a worthless statement really.
- The ones at the top of the hierarchy aren't the ones instilling these toxic ideals of masculinity in to young men. Parents and peers are perpetuating this on a personal level.
Calling it the patriarchy has very negative tone towards men, and basically blames men for the problem, In my experience, this issue isn't created by men and saying it's because of the patriarchy is just a form of victim-blaming. Even when trying to advocate for men feminism somehow manages to be sexist.
- It's true though. The patriarchy has perpetuated the idea that men are strong and stoic and women are weak and emotional, so it falls to men to be the leaders. The idea that men also need protection and understanding runs counter to the concept of patriarchy, hence why it hurts men as well as women.

The second poster’s story so clearly shows why a man’s partner being their only emotional support is devastating to both people in the relationship, yet this idea is still so insidiously pervasive in our society. No one wins.

I am mid thirties male and getting divorced. Making friends as an adult is so hard. Even going to things I like, doesn't guarantee I'll click with anyone there really.
- especially if your taste is a little off the beaten path. I really like a ton of music that most would consider "weird" or "an acquired taste," which means other fans tend to be condescending and douchey (I may be pretentious, but I try to draw the line at condescending). Add to that the fact that I live in a tiny town and that many of my other hobbies attract either edge-lords (i.e. TTRPGs) or bros (i.e. snowboarding and baseball), and it can feel like it's not even worth trying to get to know people with shared interests.
  Luckily I work in a job where I can have meaningful relationships with several of my coworkers even if we have very little in common beyond the work (and my extroverted wife and kids mean I get about all the interactions my introverted self can handle).
  edit: Almost forgot to offer you some support! Keep trying OP, there are people worth knowing out there, and you may already know some of them. I've had really good luck getting in touch with some college friends and doing discord or zoom game nights where we chat and play online card games or TTRPG's once a month.
- Have you gotten the advice to make friends with other divorced dads yet? 🥲/s
  Jokes aside, I’m sorry for your circumstances. I’m in my 20s and it’s already hard to make friends now, I can’t imagine how it’ll be in the future. Ironically enough, I have met and made friends with quite a few 30-40 year old divorced dad’s through local ttRPG groups and FFXIV.
  If it’s any encouragement, most of them say they have bounced back after the roughest period of their lives in getting divorced, and are happier now than pre-divorce. I can’t really say if what they’re saying is truth or a lie, but I wish you all the best, from one internet rando to another!
- still missing the point eh?

I remember something similar to this when my mom died 15 years ago. Lots of aunt's and friends reaching out to my sister to support her, traveling across the country to visit. I don't think I ever even got a note.

But I do have the thing where I probably wouldn't have cared either, if not for watching the support my sister got, it never would have occurred to me someone could do those things. And I know those people aren't my actual friends, so I really had zero expectations from them. I think it was more the insult on top of injury that bothered me. "Not only do we not care, but we're going to show you what we would be doing if we did care."

I never took this as a boy/girl thing though. I never fit in in life, still to this day. Just sorta expected.

my condolences
This is pure envy and you can not do anything about it. Part of being a human.
Im an envious guy myself.
- Dude got outright shit on and u call it envy...wow...just delusional.

How did "grieve different" become don't grieve at all? I'd be willing to bet that if men started grieving exactly like women, they still wouldn't get the support they need.

I just watched Netflix anime 'Blue Eye Samurai.' Highly recommended. There's a scene where a princess is talking to the madam of a notorious bordello that specializes in the unusual. The madam goes on and on about how weak and fragile men are, how they need their egos massaged and need to feel supported.

After reading the post, I realized that this is a pretty common trope in fiction; sex workers talking about how most of their clients are only there because they need something that their jobs/families/communities deny them.

Just a thought.

It's not just a thing in fiction either; I've seen plenty of threads and discussions over the years where real-life sex workers have essentially been saying the same thing. A lot of men are lonely.
- That's what's amazing to me. Everyone knows about it, but it's treated like a big secret.
Even in Japanese love hotels, I've heard it's common for men to book someone and just..cuddle for a while. Fall asleep being held. I don't have to live it to believe it.

Gotta love that even the very emotional "men have feelings and need support too" post ends with "treat them as wretched because they are wretched." Absolutely fucking tonedeaf to bring that type of negativity and derogatory generalization about men to this context. Big "not all men, but..." energy

Now you're reading it incorrectly: it is "treat [wretched people] as wretched because [wretched people] are wretched", not "treat [men] as wretched because [men] are wretched "
- Quote me a single part of that third post that is explicitly gender neutral rather than explicitly about men, without adding your own interpretation in brackets.
- It's written incorrectly. "Only some men are sad. Don't treat all men as though they're sad." How insightful and almost converse of the point, which is, "Gender doesn't determine sensitivity or need."
I don't read it that way. For me they argue that you should take a different view on wretched people and not blame their personality on their gender.
- It's less that the statement is false. But more that the statement is being made at all.
  It's like writing a post about how people are too quick to dismiss women as being overemotional, and someone commenting on it by saying
  I'm not saying you have to be nice to or defend hysterical women, but don't treat them as crazy just because they are women. Treat them as crazy because they are crazy.
  It's just bringing up a stereotype that acts as an excuse to deny men empathy, in the same way as mine does to dismiss women.
  I don't disagree with the general message of "Judge people for who they are", but the way it's written is tone death at best.
  Maybe the circle they're in is just pretty misandrist so it needs saying. But it just seems unnecessary to me.
- That's right. Judge someone not by the length of their dick , but by the content of their character.
This is a post talking about mother’s and father’s dead children and their imbalance of support, yet the third slide boils it down to “saying all men are disgusting pigs hurts my feelings.”
Disgusting.
- And you get downvoted for pointing it out. Yet this problem will be blamed on men ("the patriarchy") by Lemmy without any sense of irony or self-awareness.

Ah, fuck it. We’re supposed to suffer in silence. We’re men. Man up, guys! Grit your teeth and bear it! (/s)

No one checks on me and that’s fine. I don’t really need people to check on me like I’m fragile. I fight my own battles; always have, always will. But for those who do need the more frequent check-ins, they should absolutely have them and should be able to ask for them without fear of ridicule or mockery.

The fact that, statistically speaking, no one cares about lonely folk is pretty discouraging, but you can’t force people to care. And even if you could, it wouldn’t be worthwhile or heartfelt. I sure as hell don’t want people to feel like they have to give a shit.

Stay strong, gents. It’s not weak to ask for help if you need it, even from internet strangers.

I remember when I was having a really rough time at work. My boss was pressuring me into leaving due to repeated underperformance, and I was working well into the night and all of my weekends, for a solid year and a half.
One day I came back from work fully dejected, feeling like a useless sack of dumb crap. My roommate asked me what was up and why we never hang out.
I told him that it was all just a bit too much. His reaction: "man up, or quit." The automatic lack of sympathy stunned me a little, though he might have been right that I really should have just quit. (Full story: I didn't, it did get better, and I even turned some of my detractors into friends, but it was a long road, and I definitely have an unhealthy relationship with work.)

International Men's Day -- 19th of November.

https://internationalmensday.com/

Talk to each other. Don't let someone go through their life alone.

- Actually, June is pride month.

Yesterday I had a comment from a woman friend along the line of "my daughter says you're always serious but nice. You should work on that". She didn't think of asking me why I am always serious...

Wtf does that even mean?

I used to be all feminism when I was younger. Now I have two kids, I realized man do a sht ton of things without being recognized. It's always that "you are the man, you are supposed to do it" kind of thing. But when it's the other way around like when I asked the ladies what about their "women duties", it's all excuse and argument. It can suck balls being a responsible man.

You can be both a feminist and recognize that men have major struggles too, they're not mutually exclusive
- Also, isn't that still under the umbrella of feminism? Feminism isn't "only women rule". Recognizing gender stereotypes affecting men's mental health sounds very much like a feminist thing.
- Egalitarianism > all other isms. Except autism. autism trumps all.
I felt very much the same way when I was trying to figure out what was going on and what I believed. What I ultimately landed on is that feminism is really the only game in town when it comes to identifying what is actually happening. I found Bell Hooks' The Will To Change immensely useful in sorting it out -- it's not men vs women, it's the patriarchy vs all of us. One thing she wrote in that book that really resonated with me, and is basically what this post is about, is something along the lines of "the first act of violence that patriarchy demands of men is the destruction of their own emotional selves."
- Oh man do I feel that quote at the end
  "Man up", "Boys don't cry", "Grow a pair", and so much more (and worse)
  Not only coming from the men in my life but the women as well. My grandmothers were particularly bad about it.
  And it started as early as I can remember.
  The destruction of the emotional self. Being told the only emotions men are allowed to feel are anger and content.
  I'm going to have to check out that book, I think it will help being able to bring my thoughts on the matter into a more easily communicable way.
TBF…
On average women do more things like give up careers for child rearing, still do tons of daily drudgery like family organizing, housework, Dr. appointments or school activities, cooking, etc. that all goes unrecognized. Dudes go out and do some yard work on a weekend and then hit the couch like they moved the world and should be waited upon for it. I’m a dad and keep my damn mouth shut about my work because my other half has to deal with all the shit when I’m gone at work.
So unless you’re directly acknowledging, lavishing praise and love on all the thankless stuff your wife is doing, you don’t have a leg to stand on.
E: huh. Didn’t know this was a red pill /c. Guess men are justified in complaining while we ignore women facing the same problem.
- I’m a dad and keep my damn mouth shut about my work because my other half has to deal with all the shit when I’m gone at work
  Well, that seems unhealthy as hell as well. This is the whole stoic to a fault bullshit for both partners now. I'd say vent to your partner and let your partner vent to you about your shitty days. Why live your life together but not be able to share your burdens? Just my two cents though.
- Maybe pre 2000s. NOwadays, man are very much involved in every aspect of the family if given the chance. I get most men still don't care but it's changing!
  This might be a rare scenario. Both me and my wife work long hours. I am more in charge of the family, kids, chores, and fixing our house. She took everything for granted until one day I stopped doing chores that i have been nagging her for years to do so i can focus on issues surrounding the house(we own a large century old house) I am also the one on top of our kids health, diet, and education. Oh, I cook for the family. Sometimes I told her I am the MoM and the Dad and she's the friend. Friend can't raise friends.
  Every time I confront the responsibility among us and that she should Mom up, my mom, her mom, and my wife starts accusing me for being difficult.
  I had home cooked food on the table every night and I got no recognition from the 3 women in my life. When she made something once in a bluemoon, she got all the praise. My mom dare to gell me I gotta start cooking more for the family. Lmao. I can never win.
Sounds like you didn't stop feministing, sounds like your feminism just got more humanizing, nuanced, and inclusive rather than less.

As a military veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, this shit hits home. I've seen men break down and men who push it down until it is safe to let the feelings come out. Both are common, but for men you have to be able to keep the emotions in during a crisis situation. The men and women who are unable to do that pose risks of sudden suicide or uncontrollable behavior. Everyone has to let them out, that is extremely important.

A good friend of mine served in Afghanistan up until the very end. Never seemed to have any issues, was always cool and made the military seem like the most boring place on earth.
Flash forward to like a year ago and he's got PTSD triggered by seeing his own kid and can't sleep at night. No idea what happened, but yeah. It hits people.

I think it also has a lot to do with the influence of patiarchy and toxic masculinity on the grieving person.
If you managed to push back against some of society's expectations on men, know how to express more emotions than "angry" and "horny" and have shown vulnerability in the past, people will find it much easier to approach you.
On the other hand, if someone is working super hard to keep up their "manliness", you may realize that they're struggling, but you'll have reservations about tearing down the crumbling facade they're desparately trying to preserve.
- I never feel pushed into these role of only being able to express angry and horny except on sites like reddit and by people who use sites like reddit. IRL my male friends are talk openly with each other. It's only a problem when some "hot girl" or SJW type finds out about men having feelings and shames them for it. "The patriarchy" is not the problem. Blaming men for the problems men face is just a form of victim-blaming. It is exactly the kind of thing creating this problem to begin with.

I am trans, mtf...

Being a woman is easier and this is why

I'm gender queer, and am biologically male, but presented femininely and used she/her and a feminine name for 7 years or so.
The first time I experienced a good friend seeming like we only interact regularly because they're interested in dating/hooking up with me warped the way I relate to other people and really helped me understand why women are often so guarded against advances. Men and women deal with very different issues, but both are very real. It's nice to see people talking about the issues men face also. The way our society treats people on the basis of gender sucks dogshit :(
- Homie's got a Yu-Gi-Oh card description for gender xD

Friends?

My best friend of 15 years told me, when I had a rough patch, that he's there for me just reach out but unless I initiate he would treat any interaction as just a normal day.
Throughout the rough patch I choose not to speak of it and just treated our hang outs as a chance to get away. He choose to support me in the only way he knew how and the only way he was comfortable with. I was not comfortable and didn't know how to ask for more support. It's about 7 years from then and my parents still don't know, I just don't know how to ask for and engage with emotional support. I am completely weirded out by the concept of talking about my emotions and somebody else caring, it gives me a high level of anxiety.
TLDR: small male friend groups with limited experience providing or receiving emotional support are unlikely to provide explicit emotional support and there's a good chance if you're a man who needs it you don't know how to ask
- It's 100% natural to not want to bring up personal/emotional shit as a guy, it's hardcoded into our DNA it seems.
  I for one, don't because when I do get a rare chance to hang with the guys I'm not going to Buzzkill it, and neither do they like it's an unspoken man code. Our therapy is not talking it out like women do. Our therapy IS the hanging out/activities we do with our friends.

I agree people should support men more, but like this post being here, reddit, and tumblr is stupid. Here, reddit, and tumblr are the exact places creating hostile unfavorable environments where it's ok to hate men. Almost all of the man-bashing and non-caring for my well-being I've ever experienced comes from sites like these, and the kind of people who use sites like these when it's IRL stuff. It's a problem of "the patriarchy" It's a problem from YOU, yes exactly YOU reading and upvoting this post right now. If you are concerned about the well-being of men, stop actively being a problem towards the well-being of men.

Reddit acknowledges and allows subreddits like r/TheRedPill and r/FemaleDatingStrategy, it is a sponsor of hate and controversy because it allows more profit through sensationalist engagement and data collection.

Men have it really hard. So hard, in fact, that people are increasingly turning towards the manosphere.

Rather than taking the terminally online Reddit mod approach of ostracizing MRA's, incels, MGTOW, red pillers, etc, we should be asking ourselves why people increasingly turn to these movements.

Andrew Tate is a symptom, not a cause of our societal ills, and that is hugely concerning. A deeply misogynistic sex trafficker should not be the role model that today's youth look up to.

Not trying to downtalk your overall point, but I've not really seen young guys talk about Tate. It's mostly end 20s in my experience.
- Definitely not the case here in England. My SIL works as a Science teacher and the amount of Andrew Tate stuff she's seen pupils spreading around...

I've got two trans guy friends and I often check in with them on my discord server to make sure they're doing okay. Unfortunately we have one person who is the total opposite of the rest of us. I mean the "the trans idea is pushed by big medicine" type. Other than their views, they get along well in the server and i accommodate everyone there. If one of the two trans guys wish for the other person to be blocked from their channel, I do that, so they have a place they can talk without being looked down upon.

The belief that toxic masculinity is harmful to men as much as women is not incompatible with recognizing that women still deal with systemic misogyny. In fact, they're two sides of the same coin, the outdated perception that men must always be strong and stoic to protect the weak and emotional women.
Maybe they already know that. Not to mention, self destructive views of masculinity, perpetuated primarily by MEN, is obviously the fault of women.
Besides, any woman who dared act like you need their help would almost certainly earn nothing but your scorn.
Take your foolish hot take and go home. Adults are talking.
Are you serious? Look at women throughout history, bud. They've gotten a raw deal a good portion of the time and many of their toxic traits come from emulating the treatment they've received from awful men.

I wish my dad would reach out and talk with someone about issues. My sister died last year and he decided he didn't want to talk to his good friend about it because his friend still has two daughters and won't know what it is like.

He doesn't have anyone to talk to except for me and my mom, he won't do therapy to get through his guilt of surviving cancer while she didn't survive it which if he went to therapy he would realize is ridiculous to have because they were different cancers.

My mom at least is going through therapy which is helping her get through the loss.

Yes, it's his fault for not doing this thing. We've incorporated the message.

There's. Ricky Gervais show called Derrick, every time I feel I need to just bawl my eyes out I binge that show, it hits you right in the emotions but in a way that makes you feel good.

I highly suggest anyone who feels like they're nothing or can't contribute to society or just anyone who enjoys a feel good mockumentary to give that show a burl

You've gone off the deep end. What you have written above is so filled with rage I would take a break from this discussion.
I accept that you truly believe what you have written above, but it doesn't help people heal to play victim olympics. And it doesn't help anyone when you dismiss their expression of the systemic injustices they face.
Ranting about your issue on a post about someone else's issue isn't cool.
If you'd like to talk about policing victim's language, or even your friend who is struggling, that is fine. This is a big platform and there's space for that.
OP has a legit issue and a legit gripe. It's a shitty thing to try to make this thread about something else.
Meanwhile, if she plays with women or the rare non-toxic guy, none of that is a problem, they congratulate each other, give constructive feedback and say good luck, have fun, good game.
Can you imagine how it is to go through that every single day? No matter if you're sick or pissed or depressed? To try and relax in a fun game of Valorant after a super frustrating work day, and immediately being screamed at by a rabid male teenager who very obviously just thinks that insulting others makes him more likeable and "alpha"? Every time you want to relax?
I like how in attacking the original image's message you only support it
As a man who is basically dead inside, probably, in the long run, due to men. I tend to use the phrase "I hate people" not because I'm avoiding the whole thing of saying I hate men or I hate women but people generally suck. All of the reasons you have listed above apply to people as a whole.
I'm not defending the opposing side of your argument because I fully understand it, women probably do face those things in large proportions due to men, but I have been told, in the grand scheme of things, probably an equal number of times to man up or grow a pair by men and women alike. When I say I'm dead inside, I don't physically know how to display any actual emotion, (anger and humour are the 2 most prominent if you count humour as an emotion) so simply by voicing something that I don't like or making a complaint is enough for people to think I'm not being manly enough.
I still have a circle of people I care about and I'm almost sure they care about me but I would still say I hate people.
OF COURSE men are not all evil.
you got some black friends too?

well, you learn to cope with that eventually. the man is the strong one, the woman is the sentimental one, no matter what equality people want.

Or they just kill themselves. Male suicide rates are way higher than woman's.
- yeah, some guys can't cope with all the responsibility they have. well, "some"... many.
Who taught you this, and why are you still listening to them?
- life taught me that. it's just how it is mate.
I'm sorry you've been misled.
that's the issue bro. that's why we need change
Lol I hope you can cope with being wrong.

Love this. 🫂

Got 2 similar situations here these days, very hard times for my cousin. Try to be there as much as I can & unconditionally, of course. Hope it helps a little bit. On the other side of the spectrum: my father is slowly dying and the male part of his (numerous) new family is completely oblivious about talking about it or doing something different than "supporting the emotional women". That contrast is baffling. Guess what part lives out in the country and what part is more "city folks"...