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how can I stop spiralling about my breakup?
  • Kk I actually read your post. Yea that's pretty heartbreaking. Ignore what the other guy said about finding a rebound.

    As a guy in a long distance relationship, I understand what your ex means by saying he wished that he treated you better. I always feel that way when we're apart - and I feel like I do better each time we get back together - but you feel that way when you miss someone, not when you already have them there. This is likely why he didn't try harder during the relationship.

    I stand by my previous advice to get a new hobby. Go running. Pick up rock climbing. Meet new people - this is a new chapter for you, and you have plenty of opportunity to learn. Put yourself out there and distract yourself, otherwise the thoughts will consume you in waves.

    Many of us are commenting from experience. Breakups happen. But they give opportunity to grow in a way that you haven't grown before. You have newfound time to be alone - time previously spent with him. Do something with it.

  • how can I stop spiralling about my breakup?
  • Ayy so I got a game in 20 sec and can't read all that but I promise you, you will heal with time. You will move on. But do something productive in the meantime. Become a better person - hit the gym, study for your next job hop, go for a hike, start a new hobby and meet friends - by being better, you'll have a chance to slowly get better.

    I'll read your post after but you need to preoccupy your mins with other things.

  • Trump administration imposes sanctions on four ICC judges in unprecedented move
  • Obama openly refusing to enforce the law against those bush era criminals ("I'm looking forward not backward") was another important step towards fascism.

    This x1000. I used to be proud of South Korea's rich history of prosecuting their former Presidents, but recently they stopped doing this too. Shameful. We must bring back punishments for those who abuse power.

  • Dubstep @lemmy.ml OsrsNeedsF2P @lemmy.ml
    My brain keeps playing this song, and I always struggle to find it: Actium & Jimmis - Take My Hand
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    My Engineering Craft Regressed

    5 years ago when I graduated University, I had a whole host of open source projects under my belt. I put my heart and soul into them - for thousands of hours. And users loved them. I still remember some of the faceless users whose messages gave me a smile.

    !

    When I went into the job market - which was much better back then - I had some incorrect assumption that recruiters would care about this work. Or at least technically inclined companies. Or at the very least, companies I would want to work for would care about this.

    But that never happened. My Indeed profile shows I applied to over 600 jobs back then. With 3 offers, I accepted the only one that didn't treat me like a baby, and had a great time working for that company.

    During the day, I worked 8-9 hours for this startup, and until late at night I continued my open source contributions. Surely, they would take me somewhere.

    !

    I hopped to another startup and oversaw major projects - for pitiful pay - but enjoyed it. My skillset had never been so strong, and my impact was measurably through the roof. Surely if I kept this up, I would land a high paying gig anytime soon.

    But of course, that didn't happen. Waking up at 6am to make some commits, reading documentation on the subway, and coding to dubstep at night wasn't getting me anywhere. But I was happy.

    Eventually I came to face the music - Nobody gives a crap about real projects. The people who knew my value weren't the people who could pay me. I peeled back, and started grinding Leetcode instead.

    !

    My projects slowed to a crawl. The communities slowly got demotivated. It was sad to turn my back to, but it got me a 5x salary bump.

    When I joined, I was treated like a baby for having "4 years of industry experience". Whatever. I did work here and there, and apparently my impact exceeded expectations.

    But what about my skillset? Despite significantly regressing, now my email is filled with recruiters begging me to come to be "Amazon SDE II", "Tech lead at YC startup X", "Part time job paying 150-290$/hr". Pathetic. I was so much better (and happier) before, yet I'm only seen when I do the fake crap like update my LinkedIn to celebrate 1 year at $FAANG.

    I'll collect some money and retire in a couple years. Hopefully the open source world stays the same until then.

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    Losing my Meta account because of release delays
    madelinemiller.dev The dark side of account bans | Technology | Maddy Miller

    I recently lost my Facebook account for two months, and was significantly cut off from certain aspects of society during that time. This is the dark side of account bans.

    The dark side of account bans | Technology | Maddy Miller
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