If humans can put cameras in the wild and animals will never know they're being watched. Then, an advanced alien civilization can just as well surveil us without any of us noticing.

Joke's on them, that's my kink.

I mean other humans already do this. Satellites are staring at you 24/7, even when youre inside they can theoretically track you with infrared/disruptions to the wifi signal or other epectromagnetic signals, or even using sound waves. I doubt they have the processing power yet to watch everyone all the time but its a safe bet that there are certain humans under constant surveillance by somebody.

So aliens are watching me jerk off to femdom? Good, I want them to see.

The animals know there is a weird device there, they just sniff at it and keep going. Humans would probably investigate weird out of place things, especially in cities and more dense areas.

Yes, we are. Please stop masturbating. Thanks.

Baby, tech companies are doing all that right now.

It's called Dark Matter. C'mon, what's more likely, 85% of the universe is completely unobservable by chance? Or by design?

Any post-scarcity civilization that advances past Prime Directive territory just quantum-shifts half a dimension to the left so they can all hang out together without bothering anyone else.

Aliens don't judge you, though. No judgemental species can collaborate long enough to go Dark, you either evolve past those primitive instincts or self-destruct.

By extension, ufo and alien abduction stories may be likened to animals trying to get others to believe they saw a tree flash a brilliant light late at night.

Which is probably why they haven't tried to make contact. "Oh look! It's a planet full of fundamentalist chimps with nuclear weapons" "should we pop over and say hi?" "Nah, fuck that noise!"

The government and corporations can do that too

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoo_hypothesis

That's what the feds say. Always pretending they're aliens.

Unless these aliens can break the laws of physics their cameras will produce heat and have to send signals somewhere. So we'll be able to detect them.

You know that documentary show “Spy in the Wild” where they film animals using animatronics that look like those animals. Well aliens are probably doing it right now to us. Lifelike androids are among us. Some of us are even married to them and have kids with them. The aliens are so advanced that they can build human robots that are humanlike down to the cell.

This is a topic in the 3 body problem series of books. The aliens have photons (?) that spy on everything the humans do so the humans have no way of planning against their attack without them knowing. The humans assign a few people to make plans with no oversight and without telling anyone else their plan.
Highly recommend the books.

You think I don't notice??? I say outloud "I WANT TO BUY CATFOOD!!!" and then suddenly later that week, by pure coincidence, at the supermarket, there just "happens" to be a whole isle of various pet foods??? Yeah. I think not! That whole scheme is just an alien scheme to get me to adopt that french cat who follows me around town speaking french all day! I tried telling him! MR CAT! I DON'T SPEAK YOUR FRENCH LANGUAGE!!! YOU NEED TO BEFRIEND A TRANSLATOR TO TALK TO ME!!! NO HABLAH ESPENOL!!!"

But there he is. Every day, just trying to talk to me like "J'ai un chat dans mon pantalon".

And you're trying to tell me this cat is just a natural wild animal? This is the work of aliens for sure! Otherwise this cat would walk to Quebec Canada where they tolerate that kind of frenchness.

What? You think cats give a shit about our borders, and passports??? Bitch, have you met a cat???

There was a TV SciFi series for kids with some guys from the future arriving in our time to solve an issue, and they had cameras the size of pins they could stick anywhere to see what's happening.

The fun of the series was that those guys from the future had barely a clue how to blend in in our time, with a historian of them trying to make them fit in.

The birds are watching you.

Try leaving bird seeds. They'll know instantly, because they're always watching you.

If you don't leave bird seeds they will find your car and shit on it.

I kinda like this variation on the theme:

They clenched around the world like a fist, each black as the inside of an event horizon until those last bright moments when they all burned together. They screamed as they died. Every radio up to geostat groaned in unison, every infrared telescope went briefly snowblind. Ashes stained the sky for weeks afterwards; mesospheric clouds, high above the jet stream, turned to glowing rust with every sunrise. The objects, apparently, consisted largely of iron. Nobody ever knew what to make of that.

For perhaps the first time in history, the world knew before being told: if you'd seen the sky, you had the scoop. The usual arbiters of newsworthiness, stripped of their accustomed role in filtering reality, had to be content with merely labeling it. It took them ninety minutes to agree on Fireflies. A half hour after that, the first Fourier transforms appeared in the noosphere; to no one's great surprise, the Fireflies had not wasted their dying breaths on static. There was pattern embedded in that terminal chorus, some cryptic intelligence that resisted all earthly analysis. The experts, rigorously empirical, refused to speculate: they only admitted that the Fireflies had said something. They didn't know what.

Everyone else did. How else would you explain 65,536 probes evenly dispersed along a lat-long grid that barely left any square meter of planetary surface unexposed? Obviously the Flies had taken our picture. The whole world had been caught with its pants down in panoramic composite freeze-frame. We'd been surveyed—whether as a prelude to formal introductions or outright invasion was anyone's guess.

https://www.rifters.com/real/Blindsight.htm

I should start an OnlyGalaxy account

They saw the horrors that our species can do in wars and promptly left the planet

they are listening

Of course they do! Where do you think birds come from? Or do you really think they are real?

Yes they do ... it's called Pornhub

Turns out that aliens had it easy from the very start ... whenever they needed info or intel on human beings, human lives, even human samples ... all they had to do was to entice them with sex or kinks or some sort of weird fetish or something

All the aliens had to do was do a couple of anal probs, and that would automatically give them access to several hundred or thousands of humans that automatically became interested in this specific fetish and would just come looking for the aliens without even having to be asked or coerced.

Joke's on them, I'm vanilla AF.

humans are animals

Or, they can abduct people and anyone who says they were abducted will be called crazy? 🤔

Sofons be like.

That's my fetish...

Not just cameras... Probes👽😮

Animals know.

Some alien civilizations use light bulbs to film and listen to Humans. Those new LEDs are considered high definition. Just sayin'.

Try sun is the flash the universe is a camera

We are inside a black hole being observed.

I suspect they'll just stop bothering with the surveillance and go straight for reality tv and internet porn, much more telling of us as a whole

Those aliens will be vexed for sure!

the lizard people be like

And the probes are actually just cameras they put up our rectum.

Yeah, they are gonna notice the violence & greed too in terms that it impedes progress of the species & degrades the environment we depend on.

But butt-stuff too, yes, it's very popular on the galactic local sector news.