Enter the matrix [Safely Endangered]

"Do you believe that my being thiccer or more bodacious has anything to do with my badonk in this place? You think that’s gas you’re passing now?"

There is no spoon.
Wait, there was definitely a spoon here a minute ago - Neo WHERE DID YOU PUT THE SPOON!?
- H.Y.C.Y.BH

the matrix can't handle this much ass

The ram is already full with rendering Carrie-Annne Moss's leather pants.

Alright. Deleteing the leather pants........oh my!
- This made me think of the Paul Rudd Tim & Eric sketch. NUDE TAYNE… oh sh&$!

Butter overflow, Matrix terminated.

Love to see the comic in full quality and no compression artifacts 🤌

This one was fresh and organic, straight from the source.

Yeah, this is the thing that didn't make the Matrix chars realistic to me - I would innately try to crash the system. Not abandon it, just crash it, wait for reboot, you know, find the limits, really make peoples brainholes in those comfy pods work for it.

Sure, ofc I would spawn a trillion wheels of cheese over a city.

Naturally I would grow my ass that big it would dwarf any super-massive black hole (and in the prices make sure Uranus gets into myanus).

Absolutely I would kill all other processes to see just how good it can run Doom.

You think I wouldn't install the most cursed and most blessed of mods?

Hi, It's Josh from Let's Game It Out. We're entering The Matrix today....
In the original version of the script, the point wasn't to use humans as batteries, it was to use them as processors. The Matrix runs on human brains, and all the leftover brainpower is used on real world problems the machines were dealing with. They turned humans into the computers.
So, trying to overload the processing limits of the Matrix would just kill people. They'd drop dead from the mental strain. Best case scenario, you give everyone in the Matrix a hangover before the automatic safeties kick in.
- Ohh, they weren't CPUs? (like in >!Hyperion cantos!< by Dan Simmons)
  I prob just assumed it/headcanoned it bcs just the batteries is ofc stupid.
  would kill people
  (Crashing your "computer" doesn't usually fry your CPU, just crashes the software, nor does 100% CPU load necessarily crash your PC, just keep the CPU cool and within safe amperage/voltage specs)
  
  \ Yes! But they have spares, and hot & cold redundancies. Just wait for the reboot, the robots do all the admin work (wait, the Matrix robots are not furries? Another stupid script inconsistency/decision!)
  And now try with a bit less cheese/a smaller ass.
  \ You gotta find a spot that those brainholes can still process in real time - it's not just the point to see at what size your butt crashes the system, but also to see what's the max butt size you it can still successfully process twerking - the true cosmic clappening.
  Imagine billions of people thinking at 100% capacity about every detail of your butt.
That's why you weren't the One.

We need more comics about scifi ass.

https://matrix.fandom.com/wiki/Wrong_Number
- I worship The Matrix as much as the next guy but these leather-clad domination fantasies are absurd.
  All those shiny leather karate superheros need giant strap-on dildos. Just part of the costume. Neo, Morpheus, Trinity, all of them. Big shiny plastic dicks. Just wear them. Nobody says anything. They just hang there and throb. It would be hilarious.