Gettysburg report

It's the greatest essay I have ever seen, folks. *accordion hands*

accordion hands

Never in my life have I needed something so much, and never known until I received it
- Oh wow
  
  https://youtu.be/S65jqrHQi_c
You can't just say "perchance".
- Stompin turts

I'm not sure how anyone could get past the second line and not start reading it in Trump's voice.

At this point I only hear impersonations of Trump; I read it and heard Shane Gillis as Trump.
- I walked in here, I said: woooow whatta big room!
I actually didn't read the name first, but while reading it I thought, "this reads a lot like Trump."

The craziest part is he read this off a prompter

I'd like to see what was actually on that prompter.
- Gettysburg, wow. (Improvise me boy. Remember, Robert E. Lee not in favor)
- Imagine being his teleprompter controller and having to wiggle the text up and down in a vain attempt to get his attention back.
I thought the joke was that this was written by AI. But it’s worse.

People come up to me all the time and tell me how great my report on Gettysburg was. Great people. Best report they've ever seen. And they've seen a lot of reports. And they tell me mine was the best they've seen. But the crooked evil liberal teachers keep persecuting me and try to say my report wasn't good. They try to give me an F, but I tell them it's an A, because that's what my papers get, because I'm the best student. Best student people have ever seen. Smart people see me and say that is the best student that has ever been. Make school great again!

what a great essay. a great essay.

i knew this student, very smart. i knew him and he said umbrella you- i am a real patriot (and there are real patriots) and he said umbrella- umbrella is the most upvoted user on lemmy. what i was told- they know you are much bigger than the second one by far. great. you are doing a great job.

Did Trump write this?

His name's on it lol
- What's hilarious is that even if you didn't notice the name on the paper (I didn't) you still know immediately who this is mocking.
- LOL I definitely didn't notice that first and went, "wow, did this kid really plagiarize Trump?" And then looked at the name.... So sorta.
I'm pretty sure it is literally a transcription of a trump speech...

Edit: oh fuck, I just noticed the name on the paper is also Donald Trump... Lol I guess I "ate the onion".
He said it verbatim at a rally. https://youtu.be/pq4xSuiueUc

I didn't see the name until the end. Bravo

I only saw if once you pointed it out. But I was going to comment that is what kids learn from Trump. Being a vague as possible, speaking without saying something.

I was about to write that it’s not funny when the child has an obvious and quite severe learning disability, then I read the comments and the name. Speechless.

To me it was the reverse. At first it was like haha the kid didn't pay attention and is now trying to weasel out hoping the teacher won't notice. Totally relatable. But then I looked up the name and the speech it's referring to and... oh god... they've put an imbecile in charge of the most powerful country in the world, holy shit, that's TERRIFYING.
- A narcissistic imbecile, so it's even worse than that.

This isn't just a parody of his style, its just what he actually said: https://youtu.be/pq4xSuiueUc

it's* just what

Love "never fight uphill, me boys, never fight uphill!"

I'm picturing Lee with a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder.

Robert E Lee x Mr. Krabs mashup
- "Mr. Lee, why do you like slavery?"
  
  "Money!"

I only got it at "no longer in favor". That's when it clicked. Before that it just read like a student who had to write a one page essay on a topic he knew nothing about and tried to fill the lines.

Looks to me like they knew exactly what to do with that student.

Straight to the presidency. Straight away
- F is for felon

Definitely don't make him a president

Do convicted felons have the same rights when it comes to plagiarism of their work?

Some states have passed laws that do not allow them to profit from their crimes. Like by writing books or giving speeches about it.
- That's horrible, one of the best ways to connect to young at-risk youths are rehabilitated adults that use their experience

Like they asked ChatGPT to write the essay for them. And ChatGPT was stoned.

or they asked chatGPT to write it like Donald Trump was talking about it
- It's a literal direct quote from one of his "speeches."

Did anyone read that and think “I understand him?”

His voters have to hear those words and somehow they make a sentence. Like some kind of mass stupidity that makes everyone of them understand.

"Lee GOOD, liberals BAD, America GOOD, Gettysburg WOW"

A rough translation.
- Eyyy, that shows us that the "Orange man bad" meme was another projection.
- I never knew you were bilingual. That’s an amazing talent. You could make a lot of money speaking dementia!!

Holy shit I was about to ask if the kid you teach exclusively watches Fox

I somehow imagine MAGA guy starting to slow clap.

Even AI can't come up with something like this.

Didnt read the name and tought it was the text of a foreign elemantary student learning English.

It's like a poem

Are some people really taking the essay seriously? The student was obviously trying to mimic Trump 😂

I don't know if you're serious, but this wasn't a student mimicking Trump. It was a teacher mocking Trump by treating his insane speech as if it were written by a student. This isn't someone mimicking Trump. This is somehow actually the insane ramblings of the man himself.