neurodiverse
- Some of the worst ableism I've ever experienced has been from other autistic people and it sucks
To be fair to our autistic women and enby comrades, Its pretty much always been autistic men, but still.
You have no idea how many times I've been like "hey dont say that, thats ableism/a slur" and them be like "get over it/grow a spine/just words" and when I confront them about the fact that i'm autistic they'll say "I am too, so what?".
Just look at my post history right now. There's one I'm arguing with right now.
it happens over and over.
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- Does anyone else feel as though they don’t quite fit into one of the neurodivergent “buckets” when it comes to interests?
I’ve honestly been doing my best to not categorize myself as completely neurodivergent and instead seeing it as a part of me (because I feel like sometimes it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy) but lately I’ve noticed I don’t really have the same interests as other NDs in my life.
Personality wise, I just can’t seem to be able to get into video games, anime, tv shows, movies, card games (magic the gathering for example) or really anything that most NDs find interesting. Of course, ND covers a wide umbrella so I’m mainly referring to some of the most (seemingly) common divergent neurotypes (ADHD and ASD).
I think this is what drives a lot of my loneliness, though I am curious whether others are able to relate 🥲 I genuinely try to get interested in some of the things I mentioned above, but I think what proves that I am not interested is the fact that most of those things feel like a chore (even though they’re supposed to be fun)
- Neurodiversity and Deviance like drugs and petty crime and antisocial behavior. These are my experiences. What are yours?
So I'm legitimately bipolar. Had some traumatic experiences in jails and mental hospitals. I was a high achieving reckless petty criminal kid and that's who I've become as an adult.
I have a very mild LD that never held me back in school. It's NLD. I'm in the average range for that but my Verbal Intelligence is much higher. NLD is considered on the ASD and I also have a tentative diagnosis of PDD-NOS. Except I was heavily intoxicated when under examination that time.
I've dated women on the spectrum. The first was a methhead, crackhead, bath salts user in recovery but only with our Rx Adderall and Dexedrine. Also hydrocodone and lots of alcohol. The breakup never happened. She left for meth. She called after I graduated and moved for work. She never once addressed her own behavior. She was also borderline. I've known a few ot them.
She was a lot like me that it was scary but there was another woman a lot like her except so much more innocent with the lack of extreme drug history. One thing I had in common with both of them was political ideology and a memory for the newe. Notably the Iraq War.
Both considered themselves Ancoms. I identify differently depending on who I'm with. Around lefitsts I identify as AnSynd and Agorist because of my involvement in Agorist pursuits. I've been put on both benzos and amphetamines and learned how to procure a lot of the grey area chems. Mostly for personal use. I also gamble bitcoin.
The second girl was married and interesting because she happened to read the obscure newsmag I was writing for a few years back. She was impressed I had the emails of obscure journalists and comedians parts of the left support. She also had NLD and I think her right brain could seem deficient at times. Some stuff she would do would seem childish. It wasn't til I read her writing that I knew she was intelligent. Though mostly she was well spoken.
She had a moral disconnect where she couldn't see her pranks like signing random people up for dozens of catalogs, cyberstalking and in some cases actual stalking was wrong or bad. She volunteered to help out the Rohingya refugees FFS. I share this deficiency. I started doing drugs and graffiti at a young age. School was easy. Especially social science when my mom taught me how to write, and she was a former English teacher. I also grew up in a diverse community and had a leg up on those who didn't.
I took her on a date to an art museum on a free day. I always went to those so I learned how to walk through the staff only tunnels. She was halfway thinking I was gonna do an art heist. (I am banned from the museum for other reasons)
One of the things that broke us up was there was a rumor that I used heroin because I did use other opioids and all sorts of recreational drugs. A rumor was that my family supplied me with heroin too which pissed me off because they're talking about my family!
When dispelling this rumor she seemed a bit let down I didn't really use heroin. It seems like it would've made me more exciting. Being with a married woman who's husband is also openly dating--it just hit weird. Also weird was how I'm bipolar and this woman's brother had been too, and had hanged himself months before we met. The dad saw something in me and was sorta welcoming me into the family. The whole thing was weird.
So deviance among the neurodiverse isn't documented much. I knew a lot within the community and deviance seems less common. Among my bipolar and otherwise mentally ill comrades the substance abuse is sky high! Still there's similarities within the two groups and significant overlap making drug use, recklessness, and other behavior more likely.
Edit: I've also noticed that a couple ASD women are involved in the kink community. I didn't mention all the neurodiverse people I know here, just the ones closest to me and I do like to reminisc.
- Autism is super fun because i spent 5 hours olaying oblivion today and I really wanna keep playing it
But i cant do it becauae my partner will get sad that im ignoring her
- I LOVE BEINF AUTISTIC GRRRRAaaaaaAAAAAHH
I LOVE TO CONTINUALLY MAKE MY LOVED ONES UPSET OR HURT AND HAVE NO IDEA WHY OR HOW! SO I CANT EVEN PROPERLY APOLOGIZE FOR IT BECAUSE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHJJJJJ!!!!!!!
- Do any other chapos deal with borderline personality disorder?
This isnt a crisis post btw, I have care scheduled very soon
I highly suspect i have BPD and i just want to know if it ever gets better or easier to live with? 4 days ago i felt stable and now I'm back to completely losing my mind and cant reel it back in
Not even sure whats real or not about my emotions at this point other than being trans
- Lmao when meeting people (be it dating or trying to make friends) seems like there’s always a point where I scare people away
And the “scare people away” thing is usually something painfully innocuous like me moving my appendages in a quirky way or being too passionate about something that I find interesting
Where tf are you all irl?
- I need to see a psychiatrist, but to do that I need to have a job, but to get a job I need to see a psychiatrist
How do you escape this vicious cycle? All I've come up with is drinking.
Edit: I got my last job by downing two shots before the interview...
And of course, as soon as I lost the job, I lost the health insurance and had to suddenly go cold turkey off multiple psychiatric meds.
- So uhhhh. Fuck
I came to the realization yesterday that the feeling of perceiving myself from the outside I get while high is literally just me unmasking and realizing my “true self” which I have avoided my entire life. And it’s quite miserable
So keep masking if you can 👍
- Feeling mad & dejected today
Cause I don't think that there is anywhere in the world where I belong, or where anybody would actually like me no matter what I do, or how much I try to do right by other people.
I don't wanna go outside, or do anything anymore.
- What are the words the average person would use to describe these experiences which all give off the same energy
Needing experience to get a job Needing existing friends to make more friends Needing relationship history to begin a relationship
I guess I’m just trying to say that everything seems unattainable if you’re atypical maybe? I know some of these phenomena can be felt/noticed by all people regardless of neurotype but they seem to be more common for NTs like myself
- Had a friend casually diagnose autism, should I get it confirmed by a professional?
Hi all. Relatively new to Hexbear, but I was scrolling through the community and saw this, never realized such a thing existed and will be following it more.
Basically, one day just wondered "an I autistic", googled the symptoms, got nervous reading them, so worked up the courage to ask my close friend who is a clinical psychologist.
She said "don't get upset" and then listed about 50 reasons why she thought I was on the spectrum. It was a total punch to the gut, but feels so obvious now in retrospect.
What I'm wondering now is, is it worth seeing a doctor, therapist, or any other professional to get it confirmed and then learn how to deal with this? Or just accept it and be who I am?
Thank you all.
- Does this sound like a neurodiverse thing
Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been able to make friends with people presenting as all genders. But there seems to be this unspoken rule that it is impossible for (presenting) men and women to be friends
Like, a man and a woman hanging out and just shooting the shit then going their separate ways seems unheard of at my age. Idk maybe it’s more of straight people thing more than anything, but it sucks 👍
- fuck online classes
silly venting incoming (!)
I get some folks here (and some NTs) thrive in them and they should be offered!!!
But I cannot fucking deal as someone still trying to get a grip on inattentive ADHD. Why in the fuck, in a world where everyone has fully stopped pretending COVID-19 exists, are half my college courses still online only?? This shit feels like I'm not even in a class! I blink and I'm suddenly 4 assignments behind! FUCK.
I guess I should consider myself lucky I'm rich enough to have a PC that can handle the 3D modeling/animation work required in my degree - whenever I get around to it that is. Still too poor for that neuropsych exam that could get me accommodations though!!! Feels great to be constantly on my own on this!!!!!!! When all my medication does sometimes is keep me doomscrolling for two hours straight!!!!!!!!
Amazing to tell the people who have any chance at helping me with anything and get shrugs as a response!!!!! "That's rough buddy." YUP. Thanks Dr. Psych! Thanks disabilities counselor!
I am not finishing this shit before I'm 30 !duck-dance
- So, how the hell do i handle working 40 hrs a week
I havent tried it yet. But with the way things are going, I may not have a choice but to put myself through that.
Even at 30 hrs a week, I feel like absolute ass, and my autism's symptoms get worse.
- How do autistic people handle haggling culture?
I have pretty much never haggled in my life and every service worker I've interacted with has no authority to adjust prices.
(Actually when it comes to art commissions I seem to severely undersell to end the interaction as quickly as possible)
Honestly seems nightmarish and I feel like I would get charged $50 for a box of cereal regularly. I already feel like I get charged more for things because I hate shopping around for a quote (usually go with the first person I call because I hate rejecting someone after I've asked them for a quote)
- www.leftvoice.org A Neurodivergent Case for Abolitionism - Left Voice
An autistic member of Denver Communists explains why neurodivergent liberation is bound up with the fight to abolish the police and build a socialist system.
- Went on a road trip with three other ND people; literally every conversation we had wrapped to around to how every problem traces back to capitalism
Idk if it was because we were mostly high the entire time, but we agreed that we tend to over analyze things because we value nuance
But that rabbit hole goes so damn deep
Honestly still trying to figure out whether this is a human inquiry thing or ND thing. What say you
Like, we were able to design so many simple solutions to problems using the rules of capital but from a need-distribution perspective. We didn’t quite touch the resource exploitation from the 3rd world aspect though.
But I do this shit all the time with all of the situations that make me uncertain, so maybe it is a ND thing.
- how to fix "waiting mode" | ADHD Symptom Solutions — (TLDR set alarms. "Waiting mode" is when you can't do anything or focus when waiting for an appointment)
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Video thumbnail is a tweet saying: > I hate how I am a "I have an appointment at 4pm so I can't do anything all day" type of person
TLDR set disruptive alarms. This lets you forget about the event until you need to focus on it, instead of devoting attention to keeping it in mind all day to the detriment of everything else.
Video is very succinct and well-edited and I think it's worth a watching the whole thing. He has a good style and has ADHD himself so he knows how to edit for his audience.
- I recently got diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD)
I suppose it makes sense. I have no close friends and I completely avoid social situations unless I have to be in them. It would explain why I always feel like the center of (negative) attention in any given room, or why I always feel like I'm annoying people or that I sound smug.
The doctor told me people with AVPD often have trouble understanding who they are as a person, and can't latch onto specific identities, but I haven't thought about that much. The pamphlet and stuff I'm reading online also seems to suggest AVPD has such overlap with social/general anxiety they're almost the same thing.
Anyone else have experience with this?
- The "I'm a Surgeon Dr Han" meme bothers me
So I just looked up the source of this meme and apparently the main character who's having a meltdown in that scene is autistic. I saw a tweet saying people are siding with Dr Han because the autistic surgeon is transphobic in a scene but, apparently the transphobic surgeon gets better after being educated but people still condemn him even though Dr Han is an ableist. But people only care about one side of this odd intersection problem and worship this Dr Han character. I saw a reply to a tweet saying people are siding with Dr Han because the autistic main character is transphobic by saying "Actually I'm siding with Dr Han because the surgeon is acting like a freakazoid" and noone in the replies said "you just called an autistic character a freakazoid".
As someone who's dealt with an ableist boss at work before and ended up partially hospitalized over it it bothers me that noone cares about that angle of it. Of course in my case I wasnt being a bigot to people or anything so I guess thats different. And the idea that an autistic person would naturally react to trans people with transphobia is bad ableist writing in its own right so the writers should be condemned for that. But still the whole situation just bothers me.
- As someone on the spectrum, it kind of bugs me when people label anyone slightly eccentric as having some kind of neurodivergence
Oh, you have a slightly quirky personality? A silly sense of humor that isn't punching down? YOU MUST HAVE AUTISM.
- My dumbass just realized that the reason I suck at math is because I never learned the very basics of number theory as a child
And I sort of just recognized where to substitute the right variable(s) and that continued from kindergarten to discrete math
Kinda want to go back and learn, but I’m convinced that there was a window in my life to learn those skills and I missed it
Just autistic things
- [CW: Mental Health? Numbness] Has anyone else felt like they've been walking in a dream since like... 2017
Or do I have some kind of traumatized detachment thing going on.
Nothing feels real. I feel numb like 90% of the time.
- Does anyone else find the "Disney adult" "Nintendo adult" and "Man child" insults to be slightly ableist?
Just saying because nearly every person I know who has ADHD and/or Autism (including myself) seems to care less about people knowing they're into "childish" things.
Also the idea that this is a new phenomenon because Millenials and older gen Z are "soft" or stunted in some way.
I mean, boomers have model trains and and cars. So did their parents. My grandma used to knit herself plushies. This isn't new. You don't suddenly stop having your old likes because you reach a certain age.
- Wait, you mean people just assume that the way you dress is to "appeal to the opposite sex?"?
Bro, I dress in ways I think are fun and cool to me. I thought that was normal.
I've never thought about if others find it attractive.
- ADHD peeps
Do you ever find that vyvanse doesn’t fully slow your thoughts, it kind of just gives you a way to notice those fast-paced/random thoughts
At least it does for me. Like, I still think about what I usually think about but I’m able to compartmentalize them and make them less erratic
- When people get mad at you for pointing out the fact that you know you are behaving awkwardly in relation to other NTs
It’s just something they like to ignore. You and I both know that my mannerisms/behavior is odd and that I have quirks , but I would prefer to be perceived in spite of those quirks and not solely because of them
- Whats the deal with PDA (pathological demand avoidance)?
Title. Is it legit? Is it an attempt to "cure" autistic people? I met with the term yesterday and it made A WHOLE LOT OF sense regarding past where i lashed out at people i love and displayed behavior unwittingly that i am wholly against when i am self-aware enough to watch out.
- been ideating hard recently
it's rough folks, anything y'all can reccomend to keep these thoughts at bay
- Thinking about how I was told I taught myself how to read at 2 years old and then earlier this year reading about "hyperlexia"
And how it has a like 84% correlation with autism. Pretty sure I'm in the 16% because I'm a dead ringer for ADHD and only have some autism spillover, mostly sensory processing issues and being a bit slow on the social uptake due to lax attention, but still, you'd think people would look at a 3 year old reading books without ever having been taught how and go "hey that's kinda weird" instead of thinking "he was reading at 2, he's smart, he'll figure out this social stuff and not grow up self-isolating from rejection sensitivity and abandonment issues"
EDIT: The more I think about it the more I think I might have some more ASD issues than I thought and if so that's fine I guess, life's a constant struggle to cope either way, if it's true it's another avenue to follow that's already well-explored.
- Does anyone else suffer from did or ossd-1 on here?
I just idk want to not feel like the only hexbear who is a system
- Those on stimulant medication how long did it take for the side effects to disappear?
I have been on dexedrine for 3 weeks for adhd but the side effects have been intense.
I can't get any sleep, my heart is often racing at rest, I have headaches and nausea. I can't see my psychiatrist again for some time so I saw a doctor who just told me the side effects will go away after a few weeks as my body adapts to it. But that was two weeks ago and I am still taking a relatively low dose of 20mg a day that hasn't given me any benefit because whenever I increase the dose the side effects get intolerably worse.
Did anyone else experience anything like this?
I'm almost ready to give up on this medication, should I stick it out?
- Support groups. Also do labels matter? Do you find fellowship among the neurodiverse almost exclusively?
Hey. I often have met friends and partners through mental health agencies, support groups and peer support groups. I have also dated the neurodiverse when I've met them through work. I almost exclusively have a social network of oddballs and before that it was oddballs and alcoholics/junkies.
The people I get along with are often schizo-bipolars, bipolors, borerlines and ASD.
At times people have been suspicious of me because though I don't drink I do other drugs. People get worried that drug use itself is evidence I would try to get vulnerable partners on drugs. That would be evil and most users are not. When I was addicted I either with a married woman who was disappointed I didn't use heroin, who had ASD. Her friend had contacted lies about me and got a group of people to go along with her BS.
Or I was with a woman I didn't love who loved me more than any other one did and kinda broke her heart by stringing her along as I was high all the time. I feel bad about it but I didn't get her started on drugs.
Some people are also cynical about why I would utilize groups, comparing me to Ed Nortton in Fight Club. While I identify with the movie in certain anarchist and bipolar ways, I am not faking anything.
I have led the groups at times and thought I might work in the field. I definitely will not after meeting dozens upon dozens of troubled folks.
It's tough to try to be open with all groups about who I am. NT and Heteronormatives are suspicious about dating the neurodiverse or having a good proportion of LGBT friends as well.
- How to socialize with people without becoming exsausted.
I struggle with worrying about being boring. I am boring tbh. And weird. I'm fucking weird.