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neurodiverse @hexbear.net goatmeal [none/use name] @hexbear.net

Neurodiversity and Deviance like drugs and petty crime and antisocial behavior. These are my experiences. What are yours?

So I'm legitimately bipolar. Had some traumatic experiences in jails and mental hospitals. I was a high achieving reckless petty criminal kid and that's who I've become as an adult.

I have a very mild LD that never held me back in school. It's NLD. I'm in the average range for that but my Verbal Intelligence is much higher. NLD is considered on the ASD and I also have a tentative diagnosis of PDD-NOS. Except I was heavily intoxicated when under examination that time.

I've dated women on the spectrum. The first was a methhead, crackhead, bath salts user in recovery but only with our Rx Adderall and Dexedrine. Also hydrocodone and lots of alcohol. The breakup never happened. She left for meth. She called after I graduated and moved for work. She never once addressed her own behavior. She was also borderline. I've known a few ot them.

She was a lot like me that it was scary but there was another woman a lot like her except so much more innocent with the lack of extreme drug history. One thing I had in common with both of them was political ideology and a memory for the newe. Notably the Iraq War.

Both considered themselves Ancoms. I identify differently depending on who I'm with. Around lefitsts I identify as AnSynd and Agorist because of my involvement in Agorist pursuits. I've been put on both benzos and amphetamines and learned how to procure a lot of the grey area chems. Mostly for personal use. I also gamble bitcoin.

The second girl was married and interesting because she happened to read the obscure newsmag I was writing for a few years back. She was impressed I had the emails of obscure journalists and comedians parts of the left support. She also had NLD and I think her right brain could seem deficient at times. Some stuff she would do would seem childish. It wasn't til I read her writing that I knew she was intelligent. Though mostly she was well spoken.

She had a moral disconnect where she couldn't see her pranks like signing random people up for dozens of catalogs, cyberstalking and in some cases actual stalking was wrong or bad. She volunteered to help out the Rohingya refugees FFS. I share this deficiency. I started doing drugs and graffiti at a young age. School was easy. Especially social science when my mom taught me how to write, and she was a former English teacher. I also grew up in a diverse community and had a leg up on those who didn't.

I took her on a date to an art museum on a free day. I always went to those so I learned how to walk through the staff only tunnels. She was halfway thinking I was gonna do an art heist. (I am banned from the museum for other reasons)

One of the things that broke us up was there was a rumor that I used heroin because I did use other opioids and all sorts of recreational drugs. A rumor was that my family supplied me with heroin too which pissed me off because they're talking about my family!

When dispelling this rumor she seemed a bit let down I didn't really use heroin. It seems like it would've made me more exciting. Being with a married woman who's husband is also openly dating--it just hit weird. Also weird was how I'm bipolar and this woman's brother had been too, and had hanged himself months before we met. The dad saw something in me and was sorta welcoming me into the family. The whole thing was weird.

So deviance among the neurodiverse isn't documented much. I knew a lot within the community and deviance seems less common. Among my bipolar and otherwise mentally ill comrades the substance abuse is sky high! Still there's similarities within the two groups and significant overlap making drug use, recklessness, and other behavior more likely.

Edit: I've also noticed that a couple ASD women are involved in the kink community. I didn't mention all the neurodiverse people I know here, just the ones closest to me and I do like to reminisc.

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2 comments
  • autistic and adhd. breaking the law makes my tummy hurt so I refrain. I love weed, without it I throw up a lot. It helps with over stimulation. I have low impulse control in general.

  • I got ADHD and I'm like 90% sure autism as well, and my own experiences with drugs are smoking lots and lots of weed and drinking too much to deal with loneliness and self-loathing. My deviance was simply being unable to socialize properly and thus suffering severe social isolation for the majority of my life. I've recently been working on myself a lot and internalized how much I've grown and improved on my personality, but loneliness and despair of ever being free of it have driven me to the edge of suicide more than once.

    I don't know if this is helpful or even relevant, but I'm a single data point I suppose.