And that's how I met your mother

I feel this in my soul. Same way, notice a cute girl a work don’t want to be the creepy guy at the office, see a cute girl working at the movie theatre, no this is her job, she doesn’t need that at work. This is why I’m single 😅

Thank you for not being the annoying guy trying to hit on girls 🙂
- The annoying thing is that the annoying guys are more likely to get a date, while they just go about their day. Not because they are better, or because their methods are good, but purely because they approach more people.
  I hate making people feel uncomfortable (no matter their gender), so I always struggled finding "spontaneous" dates, or even dancing with strangers at a club/party.
  The only thing that really worked for me was using dating apps, where both parties have implicitly indicated that they are looking for dates in general (because they're on the app) and explicitly indicated that they are interested in each other (by liking their profile, or whatever).
  Although I've heard the apps have all gotten worse lately, I wouldn't really know, as I found someone on Tinder years ago, and now we're happily married.
Ask once, be clean about it, look like a dork for a few minutes, if she says no, let it go and never mention it again.
The annoying creep is likely to do ask her out twice a week.
Theres no way to ask without looking weird, but the follow up is what distinguishes regular guys from creeps.
- There's no need to even ask them out right away. Just having a casual conversation and making them speak of their interests can warm them to you.
  Are they your coworker? Sigh at how needy clients are, tell how you want to have a break, ask what they want to do when they have them. Discuss details.
  A cinema worker is harder, but you can play a dummy and ask them if they see the movies screened there and can vouch for some of them or if they can suggest some snack from a bar, to break the ice.
  People like talking about themselves. All have hilarious stories to tell. One needs to make them open up and react in a supportive way. Looking up interviewers on youtube can get one a better idea of how it's done than these greesy pick-up artists. Genuinely enjoying a conversation rather than being hungry for a pussy\dick and making it all about yourself is a great start.
- What you describe is absolutely the way to do it without looking weird. Don't be aggressive about it, accept a no or an awkward silence or similar as being a no, respond in a pleasant tone and not an aggressive one, and you should be pretty good to go without being seen as a creep, as long as you don't repeat it later. Of course, don't make a point of going around hitting on women in gyms or who are at work, but it can be done tactfully.
To be fair, it’s ideal to not date your coworkers anyway.
- Who comes up with this stuff. Date whoever you want, YOLO
- I've seen work relationships go very badly but I've also seen them go very well. I met my wife at work so it worked out great for me.
  Best advice I can give is, if you want to date people you work with, make sure you're ok with quitting your job. If things go south it might come to that. Use good judgement. Don't date your boss or one of your subbordinates. That's a great way to get fired out of a canon.
Nope. Ask flat out, don't be weird about it. You get one shot before there's any potential harassment, take it... Then accept the result
That's all there is to it
- Okay so what if you're from one of the many countries where asking people out on dates isn't really a thing?
- You’re not wrong. There’s nothing wrong with asking once. Take the answer for what it is, yes, great, no, then it’s no and you’re done. It’s all easier said than done though for me.
- Now put yourself in the girl's place and multiply that interaction for all the guys that tried to pick her up. Does that change your tune?
Seing some cute girl at the bar "nope, she's probably here just to enjoy her drink"
- See some cute girl waiting in your bed "nope, she probably just wants a nap"
While people on reddit or Lemmy might talk about hitting on someone at work as the worst thing ever this isn't the case for a lot of people.
Lemmy has a very distinct demographic that's not really representative of the outside world.
- I've dated a coworker. For various reasons, I wouldn't recommend it.
Late posting, but reminded me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw
- I had never seen that, it was amazing thank you. Sums up my feelings pretty well!

As much as I understand your opinion, I'm really struggling to understand how couples meet outside of apps now. I've been in a long-term monogamous relationship for more than 20 years, I'm completely out of the loop.
- I'm single and I don't know either.
- I've been single for five years now.
  I got rid of social media and then COVID hit.
  I honestly don't even know how to socialize anymore let alone date.
  Fortunately or unfortunately as the case may be, my relationship history has me so jaded, that I really don't have any desire to date.
  If I did desire such a thing, I have no idea how I would go about it. There aren't any more physical community places unless you wanna go get shitfaced in a bar, and I'm long since past those days.
- Bars/Pubs. The booze helps lubricate those social wheels. Or friends of friends being introduced to each other.
  But honestly anywhere could be a place to meet someone if you're not a creep about it and don't try to force it.
- Oh man, I know that feeling all too well! MySpace was a thing when I was last dating, so it's like an entire world has passed by. A while back, I was at a bar with a friend, and he let me swipe through Tinder on his account while he got a round in, and having that kind of easy access to dating when I was younger would've been absolutely petrifying.
- I've used MeetUp to find local events geared towards single folks. Some groups are really good...others not so much. It's helped me get used to socializing and meeting new people again though.
- Have been in a monogamous relationship for a while as well. I think that the rreliance on apps is a false need, cultivated to make more money on said apps as their goal isn't to lose customers by finding good matches but to keep extracting profits. There's a significant conflict of interest that makes me think that they are little more than a scam that ocassionally helps people hook-up despite the companies' best efforts.
  Glad that I don't have to deal with dating and dread the idea that I may have to in the future because I hate it but my suggestions would be:
  If looking to cultivate something with long-term potential, put relationship goals on the backburner and participate in an interest that has a possible social component. If one is genuinely interested, they will find people who find them interesting.
  If looking to get laid, probably bars in the US (unfortunately, not usually a great place to meet people just looking to socialize, unlike Ireland or the UK).
  Alternatively, if one is into kinks or curious and able to be not creepy (can be extra challenging for single men), getting involved with a kink/fetish community that does non-play meet-ups might be a good option. As noted, it can be a bit of a challenge for single men to get accepted, but is not impossible. This is because such groups tend to be very zealous about protecting their community and single men have historically been higher-risk for abuse, assault, and not honoring kink contracts. (As a man, I don't like the discrimination but do understand and agree with it as I'd rather some guy get hurt feelings than someone end up in the ICU or a dumpster).
This is, in fact, a popular opinion, especially by women.
- Tell that to the women that go to my gym with their asses hanging out. I mean I'm honestly offended because I'm here to spend time with myself in self-reflection and conditioning but now it's ruined because I'm asking myself all kinds of questions like "how much little validation does she get from life that she needs to do that? And she's looking around, scanning for eyes. She knows wtf she's doing. Women will complain about being sexualized as an object and then do shit like this! If she needs male attention that badly, why here, of all places? Does she not have parents? I'd hate to be this girls father. Then again, there probably isn't a father in her life if she's going out like this. I mean it's not even an aesthetic body! If you have sculpted leg muscles, etc then fine. You've earned the right to show that off. But this chick doesn't even have a noteworthy ass. The only thing noteworthy is that it's outside of her shorts. Why the fuck would you do this to me? I'd still hit it though."
On the contrary, I have two real life friend couples who met at the gym and are now married with children.
If consenting adults are meeting one another in a public space, they should be free to approach each other.
- I think the biggest problem is that people go straight to trying to flirt or hit on someone... We've spent too much time on Tinder where it is sending as many one-liner pick-up style openers that people start to think that is a normal way for an interaction out in the world to go. Generally, the majority has forgotten how to talk to people face to face in real life in a normal and appropriate manner.
  Also, if they are now married with children, I have to assume they met a few years ago and at least possibly, maybe even likely, it happened before the shit hit the fan like it has now. The dating world has been rapidly changing over the last few years.
- If consenting adults are meeting one another in a public space
  "Consent" is a problem when men try to hit on women using headphones, or when people don't get the hint that you really don't want to have a conversation with strangers.
- Ok, but how do I know if she 'consents' to being approached before talking to her?
- I think, the rule of not being bothered if you don't want to communicate should be applied everywhere. Also, I find it healthier if people talk to each other at least a bit, but I mostly attended a gym with a stable population (and quite a long time ago, unfortunately) so that may have affected my opinion
- I have several choices on how to sort comments. He could have gone to the bottom for me (but not by stating the common opinion)

I sometimes think being an attractive girl must be both the best and the worst thing ever.

I believe the phrase I've seen was "an avalanche of not-asked-for dicks"
- That seems pretty accurate.
- "Which was the original slogan for Tinder".
- That was also the name of my sex-tape.
Now that I'm older I don't get hit on nearly as much. It's been amazing. I didn't realize that I just had to wait it out a few decades.
- I've known women who intentionally made themselves look less attractive so as not to get hit on. Sad really.

D- Demonstrate value by suggesting that you can afford a hospital stay

Is this a US joke I'm too European to understand?
- Always sunny in Philadelphia

She says “no” lol

"I have a boyfriend."
And you know what? At least he has the answer and can die knowing that.
Nothing worse than a ‘what if’ haunting you forever.
- Nothing worse than a ‘what if’ haunting you forever.
  Sorry, there is something much worst: a continuous avalanche of incredulous and horrified rejections.
- I am the watcher. Follow me as we ponder the question "what. if."
  In the original timeline the girl drove me to the hospital. But in this different timeline Steve Rogers walked in the door of the gym asked the girl on a date and carried me to the hospital....
- I don’t think this fits the worst she can say is ‘no’ since he broke his foot to try and force a yes. Seems much harsher if she didn’t even show basic human compassion because she would have to spend time with him.

Any time I even for a second think about what it would be like to not be married, I remember that even finding a date, let alone dating, in 2024 sounds exhausting, so I remind myself to be thankful for what I have. I'm sorry for those of you who struggle finding a long-term partner.

I’m in my fifties and divorced. I never liked approaching girls to ask for a number so the apps were a blessing. It took that whole insecure awkward walk out of the equation.
Now being a disposable thing that people are constantly trying to get a better upgrade on, that I hate.
- I could see that, and I had that trouble myself when I was young and probably still would now, but the whole 'swipe left' 'swipe right' thing and having to go through a bunch of random online chats with random people until you find one willing to go get a beer with you and then hope that you contact them back after their unstated but required minimum number of days and that they will agree to get a beer with you again... it just sounds so exhausting. Even just making a profile which would have to be tailored to get people to want to date me sounds exhausting. And I barely even have any pictures of myself, let alone ones I think would work on a dating profile. I don't have the energy anymore. I think I'd just end up being single for the rest of my life unless something happened by chance. I have a few terminally single friends my age. They appear to have stopped looking.
Yeah that's me right now and it is rough. Now that my dating profile is a few months old literally the only likes I get now is a bot or two about once a week. I honestly think the best way is to join some type of club or group, socialize with people there, and maybe it eventually leads to a relationship.

Just don't tbh

ik its a joke, but wouldnt that be more annoying?

You gotta drop a weight heavy enough to land in hospital rather than attract disgusted looks from the loud sound it makes... The teary pained face while asking for favors can't be that great a first impression.
- And then all the helpful weightlifting gym dudes help you out while the girl you like looks on and then goes back to her workout because they've got this.

Weak? He’s at the gym!
- Yeah, at least he didn't have to buy his guns!
You just made this account just to bitch and moan about liberals lol
- Lemm.ee btw
Devin is actually a trump supporter but ok
Says the guy who apparently isn't going to the gym.