Mustard
Mustard
113 comments
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Heather doesn't lock her computer when she walks away. Don't be like Heather.
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It sounds far more likely to me that she right-clicked on some image file and picked "Set as desktop background".
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Happened to me previously several times. I find it crazy to even have this option in the context menu.
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Which almost makes it worst. I mean I get the last part. Why ever she right clicked, she took the wrong option, fine. But how did she even end up on an image like that at work? What did she research?
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And this is why we have a GPO that locks the background to a corporate image.
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I think it's nice if people can set their own background picture. They can put a picture of their pets or family members which lowers the stress.
A better policy would be to hire people who can actually do basic things with the thing they'll be working 8 hours a day with.
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One place I worked they happened to roll out a desktop background group policy while I was there and I learned that one person would open the image they wanted as their background in an image viewer cirst first and leave it open while they opened everything else for the day so they could pretend their preferred background was still their background.
Honestly I'm of two minds on setting a background as a group policy, because on one hand having a set corporate-friendly background is good for maintaining a professional look, I've really yet to see any inappropriate backgrounds amongst the too many places and people I've supported that dont lock down backgrounds. Like at worst its sometimes awkward pictures of someone's loved ones that are just really bad photos, but usually if they have set something it's something that means something to them so it's a nice little touch of personalization that might be the thing that helps them make it through the day
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When you're working for Heinz, is it a mustard bottle?
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Yes, but a bit more artistic than a jpeg from a search engine.
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Here's my new "you left your computer unlocked" image
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My favorite was to screenshot the desktop, set that as the background, then move everything on it to a different folder.
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Why do webbrowsers, file managers, always have the option "set as your desktop background" in a easy to accidentally click place in the context menu? No, i add it myself to the "backgrounds" folder if i care.
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Ctrl + Alt + Down
Now your bottle is ready to dispense delicious mustard
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Only on laptops with Intel graphics where IT hasn't deactivated the unnecessary utility that comes with them.
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We used to do this stuff to people who would leave their computers open, or flip the screen upside down.
It was a pretty benign way to teach people to lock their damn computers when they left.
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Microsoft removing CTRL - ALT and arrrow to turn the screen is a crime.
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You literally described every office, ever.
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I'm not going to assume my experience is universal.
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Since this seems like a preventable issue for me, I wanted to disable the Set As Desktop Background… option in Firefox.
That was not as straightforward as I thought it would be:- Settings: nope
- about:config: nope
- userChrome.css: The Internet, and LLMs tell you yes, but actually nope
What you have to do is create a
policies.jsonfile and put that somewhere…
Here is the deeply buried site from Mozilla about that. There you will find where to put it and all the options.For this problem a short
policies.jsonwith the following content is enough:{ "policies": { "DisableSetDesktopBackground": true } }Why did I do this in the middle of the night instead of browsing ich_iel or I dunno sleeping. Who knows…
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In a corporate environment where you care about such things, you really want to disable the functionality of the user setting the background in the operating system, not in a specific application. Otherwise, you're going to have to track down every application that includes this functionality, figure out how to disable it it in that application, and find a way to apply that change to every PC. (Microsoft's Photos app, for example, can set pictures as either background or lock screen.)
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Instead of locking down the the ability to set the wallpaper via Firefox, just set a static image as the wallpaper via GPO. A company logo or something. Then it will apply at every restart.
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and of all the amazing mustards available, she had to get stuck with one of the most shitty vinegary last-resort-only option
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As a mustard lover, heinz isnt even close to the actual worst one, which is the whole foods brand mustard. Its made with apple cider and it is revolting. The best widely available yellow mustard to just grab in a store is plochman's.
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There are so many awesome fancy mustards out there, but if I want the ballpark standard yellow mustard, I usually just go for French’s. It’s the same principle with ketchup. When I want ketchup I just want Heinz. If I go to a restaurant and they are all proud of their “house made” ketchup, it is probably going to be too sweet or tomatoy or whatever. Just give me what I grew up with and don’t mess with it.
That said my wife has been making mustard at home recently and it is amazing. It’s not yellow mustard but a tangy grainy mustard that is great.
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havent tried plochmans but i will. for emergency widely available mustard i typically recommend frenchs dijon (NOT the "chardonnay" dijon)--it's been so long i don't even know if they make it anymore, but it should say something like "our boldest dijon ever" on the label
usually i stick with colman's tins of just mustard flour and make it myself
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Ghosts, she got ghosts in her drive
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Don't bother them, they guard the Magic Smoke.
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Call the exorcist
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I couldn’t help hearing that as “Ghosts got in her drive,” to the tune of “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.”
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Are mustards in America classified by their colour instead of French, Dijon, English, Blow-Off-The-Top-Of-Your-Head, etc?
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They're labeled by type; one of those types happens to just be called "yellow." It's smooth and vinegary. Good on hot dogs and burgers.
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Lies. The only reason I keep it around is to placate my friends and family who are afraid of real mustards.
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No, yellow mustard is the cheap standard stuff. The rest exist in NA too.
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Not american, but in america I'm pretty sure mustard is just yellow dye.
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There are zero artificial ingredients in yellow mustards.
Vinegar, Water, Mustard Seed, Salt, Tumeric, Paprika.
All the color is from tumeric.
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Heh heh, Americans will finish posting their “British food” memes and then go back to squirting flavourless yellow paste onto a bag of par-boiled ground pigdick.
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French
English
Naming them by the country of origin is almost equally odd to me. You literally mentioned Dijon, which is also French. So wtf is French mustard supposed to mean. There's probably dozens or hundreds of French mustards.
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Person's family name was French. Hence the name. Their first factory is in my city.
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To make it worse the UK has a weird "French" mustard which has nothing to do with France, its this darker, sweeter, less spicy mustard that Colman's invented and no longer make but you can still find own brand ones in the supermarket. Actual French mustards are referred to by name.
English mustard is a thing though.
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It's clearly rated according to fluorescense.
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On America we refer to all of those as "fancy mustard". This yellow abomination is the default.
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It should have been sorted by penis.
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"there is no arrange by penis option"
What was that called already? Can't remember the name!
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The website is down.
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Right here: https://youtu.be/uRGljemfwUE
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Crop to selection in Paintnet: ctrl + shift + x
Set as wallpaper in IrfanView: ctrl + shift + xHappens to me all the fucking time.
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Because you obviously need a shortcut to set a wallpaper lmao.
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She make the directors mad, but somebody's gotta do it
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You've been yellow mustard-ed!
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If Heather is the one using the computer, why is the director of finance writing a support request for her? Or did she actually write it herself, using the name of the director?
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Director of Finance: "Heather, why haven't you finished that finance report I asked for?"
Heather: "Uhhhhh, well. My screen has a picture of mustard on it? Sooo I couldn't do it?"
DOF: "That's ridiculous. Did you call IT?"
Heather: "Ummm, yeah, sure, but you know, they said they'd get around to checking it out."
DOF: "That won't do, I'll contact them for you, they'll listen to me on account of how important I am" (desperately hopes you acknowledge his "account" pun)
Heather: "Oh, well, okay boss, thanks" (dammit I don't wanna do that fuckin report)
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Heather is probably a nepo baby and cant send an email.
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HeinTz
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MUSSSSTAARRRRRRRRRRRD
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I watched this without volume, but I could still hear it.
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Omgawd just change the desktop background I don't get it
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MUSTARD ON THE BEAT
113 comments
Leave Heather alone. There’s nothing wrong with this desktop background. Please refrain from remote connecting to her computer in the future.
This is reminiscent of an absolute classic video.
If you are not familiar with a story about penis-arranged icons, I recommend giving it a watch.
https://github.com/ZaDarkSide/ArrangeByPenis
If you haven't, please watch the original, full video! It's hilarious from beginning to end...
What the hell! 😁
Nothing dates it more than the reference to Boing Boing.
Is that whats implied here? I thought Heather just went to her Boss to complain and the Boss called IT...
The bar at the top shows up in remote desktop connections