Don't Suffer in Silence. Reach out.
Don't Suffer in Silence. Reach out.
Lists of crisis hotlines across the world: (Crisis Hotline) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crisis_hotline#Telephone_counseling
(Helplines, Suicide Hotlines, and Crisis Lines from Around the World) https://www.therapyroute.com/article/helplines-suicide-hotlines-and-crisis-lines-from-around-the-world
I understand the message but for those suffering, be forewarned, not everyone can understand what you're going through. People that love you and care about you will just stare at you and say: "umm ... okay". It is not a judgement against them or their character that they don't understand it.
I say that as someone that was clinically depressed. It was helpful for me, and I can only speak for myself, but try to find others that are feeling the same way and talking to them. It's far easier to speak to others that "get it". That's not to say you shouldn't open up to your friends ... I have and I don't regret it. However, don't expect everyone to understand what you're going through.
This isn't realistic.
I've dealt with depression before.
People will say they want to support you and want to know what's going on. If you describe a problem, the person listening almost always offers a solution. If you start to explain why their solution won't work, they almost instantly get super annoyed and may suddenly become unavailable the next time you call.
People want to think of themselves as the type of person who would be supportive of a depressed person, but most "supportive" people who feel this way still adhere to normal social mores and expectations and get pissed or annoyed when a depressed person doesn't follow them. It's also super hard for a depressed person to simultaneously discus their depression and adhere to unwritten social niceties.
If I as a depressed person keep my feelings to myself, if I get better I still may have friends and if I die at least some people may show up to my funeral. If I lean on non-depressed people for support, they will expect normal social responses that adhere to unwritten codes and will get annoyed, the result being for me at best fewer friends and at worst a cremation with no one who cares about the ashes.
Honestly fuck that tweet or whatever. Shit like that is bout making society feel better with corporatesque platitudes like "Mental Health Awareness is Important! See something say something!" or whatever empty cheerleading slogan exists to encourage the workers while the most poor of all rot on the street (unless they fall asleep, causing them to be arrested, whenceupon they are fed in jail). Most people do not give a fuck, that's why a homeless subpopulation exists, fuck this planet and fuck empty tweets like this.
Some people do have the capacity to express this sentiment, if only for a few hours a week or month. And they'll dedicate that time to crisis centers like the one in the message, where it can save a life or at least pause an irreversible decision in the moment.
People do not give a fuck. But sometimes they do.
I hate that this took me till i was a father to figure this out. And even then my kids were in there late teens to twenties beforehand it really sunk in.
How can I expect my kids to open up to me if I won't open up to them.
I wish. No one IRL treats me like this. Everyone's eyes glaze over or they freak out. There is no support.
That's the heartbreaking part - so many would genuinely rather hear about your death than have to suffer your "whining" (most would not admit that though). I suppose it takes all kinds of people in this world...
Came to say the same thing. It’s awesome to be optimistic and wholesome, but very few people care that in depth. It’s also really hard to shoulder someone at that level.
Especially with males.
I get the sentiment with posts like this, but I hate them. They're so disingenuous to me. If someone reads them and gains something positive from the message then good, but I just hate them.
Speaking for myself, personally, I also don't like the maximalism. It is (should) also (be) okay to talk about your depression, anxiety and issues, if you aren't at all suicidal and in no risk of becoming suicidal. Imagining reading something like this as past me, who was more stuck in depression than today, I'd read it as "okay, I know I am not at all suicidal, so I better not talk about my issues so that the ones that are can have all the resources, as I am not worthy of them."
The truth is: Professionals (including specialised hotlines) and really, really good friends (and ironically, sometimes strangers on the internet) are the only
trulymostly reliable places to vent and find support without risking being misunderstood, and/or them not following through at all. And you have to build from there, with their help.
Said nobody ever. Not blaming anyone. It's just an observation.
It’s not that I don’t want to burden others, it’s that I know they can’t do anything to help.
I saw Felonious Munk at the DC Comedy Loft in Dec 24. Top notch show. Mental health was part of his set and was well received by the audience.
What a tastefully named gentleman. Thank you kind sir.
Beautiful name because it's a riff off of Thelonious Monk, a beautiful jazz musician that I place in my top 3 of musicians. Other two being John Coltrane and Miles Davis. Honorable mention would be Chet Baker as he is definitely up there, but listening to Chet just brings you into a whole different mood. Much preferable on a gloomy, rainy day with a cup of coffee or tea in hand.
Anyways, Fuck Nazi's.
A lovely sentiment, but unfortunately it has no basis in point of fact reality.
I dunno. I was suicidally depressed all day every day for nearly 20 years, and there were people I love who were very consistently supportive. As always, ymmv, but saying it has no basis in reality is false. If the human actions in this post did not exist, I would be dead. Instead, I made it to middle age.
It doesn’t always happen, but there are people that back up feeling the way the post describes with action.
Tks
Yeah, I don't suffer in silence. I do see a therapist, I highly recommend it.
I will not discuss my depression because I can physically see the effect it has depressing others
Based take
I just don't even know how to talk about it. I can't describe the blackness inside
Never understood it all cause i'd sooner kill someone else than myself. Why would I kill myself? That seems strange. I would lose then, someone would win. Probably have some depression though, I mean I ought to have considering the theoretical state of things. No way I am gonna give satisfaction to anyone tho
No. I am going to eat my veggies, exercise daily to keep up my body as my temple, no drugs or alcohol and take care of myself. If only to show how much better I am than these fuckers. I will swim as they sink to the bottom. I will win and thrive at any price, at any cost. Some day I will drink tea on their graves, or just look at them with pity and compassion, throw some coin their way.
It is a dark souls game it all but you cannot just give up and quit to the desktop. no. we will crack that boss sooner or later and when we do, we will become more amazing than anyone can imagine. It is just a matter of time.
This is the view of someone who is slightly bummed out and not horribly depressed.
Some people have children murdered in war, damaged body parts, or people they love dead. Others have tried to date over and over, exercise and eat healthy, and are single virgins at 30 because no one finds them romantically attractive. Other people have extreme financial hardships while dealing with chronic incurable medical conditions like Huntington's.
Don't take this the wrong way, but for the people whose children were murdered in war, eating veggies may not improve things much.
The desire to thrive at any cost usually only exists when problems are theoretically fixable. You can't bring back dead children, someone who has lost a body part and has chronic phantom pain isn't going to become a neuroscientist and solve that problem while in chronic pain.
I feel like platitudes like that "Just overcome it bro. Exercise and veggies and grit" don't help the majority of people with severe emotional problems. Once again, these ideas seem like ideas that help you, the reader of that post, feel better about depression existing rather than do anything for people who are depressed.
But I feel like you are in good company because it feels like 90 percent of mental health posts and slogans are really "Your depression is inconvenient for me and society and your possible suicide down the line may upset me. We support you! Call this number so we can lock you up and drug you, then bill you $30,000 and force you to work even harder while drugged up so we feel less annoyed about your ennui and sorrow."
Like I get that your transitory sadness has been something you overcome with tech bro grit, but tech bro grit doesn't overcome most reasons for severe depression that results not in brief suicide ideation but like getting to the stage of "What method will work best for me?" when people start buying tools to help them die or coming up with timelines and rewriting wills and debating whether to try to make it seem accidental so as to not harm loved ones.
I am glad you have grit and this works for you. Keep pushing. I just don't like the messaging in society that feels like this needs to be a solvable problem because others are annoyed or saddened by it.
well I have only myself and my view. I can just say what I think. I am sure there are many other. I am sure there are many tragedies over the world. I don't have any effect on that. I cannot control that.
I don't think there's any advice here even other than just declaration of my experience.
What I am curious about though is how it differs and that's why I present it and look for another and see how it all fits together in the grand scheme of things to better understand.
I am convinced that when I am anonymously honest on the web, I can sometimes grow or discover new things. That I add something valuable to myself and maybe someone else.
I am just built like this to never give up and I know that subconsciously. I thought that maybe it can be transplanted but it probably can't as it isn't learned but it was present since forever even through the worst and I look forward to any trials confident that they cannot crush me. There is nothing that can. This is how I function and live, this surety makes me able to fulfill basic functions and demands and prevents breaking even when my hands tremble from existential dread. I am still working to overcome it all but without this I would fail without even starting
I have my inspirations, like Ellen Ripley and Juliette Nichols, I want to have that courage and I will work for it
I'm reading all these comments in the "Lemmy Be Wholesome" community and just yikes.
I can see it from both perspectives.
Sometimes, I can't handle a random person like a coworker emotional-dump on me. I'll give shallow level sympathy. We don't have a relationship where we both trust each other to give advice or support in a successful way. So yeah, you're going to get a "Bro that's rough man."
If I really like the person, I'm there for them, above and beyond. The tradeoff has to be mutual. They got my back, and I have theirs. Its my wife. It's my therapist. It's my best buddy from high school. It's my team from work. It's the coffee shop people I see every other day.
Lots of work and trust built before I can open up.
That's what I'm wondering here. You people okay? You people out there building real connections?
I think this sounds nice, but often even with close people this doesn't work well and a depressed person risks damaging the relationship. A spouse or best friend will sometimes deal with it for a year. They often won't deal with it for yearS. I have a hard time envisioning you've been extraordinarily depressed before, even if you've been technically depressed and took Proaz for a month, and I doubt anything like that has even happened.