If you did porn, what stage name would you go with?

The airline pilot?!?
- You may be thinking of Bam Ding Ow.

Dave.

No last name, just Dave.

https://startsat60.com/media/lifestyle/jokes/daily-joke-dave-boss-pope
- Thanks! I was just looking for this joke the other day
- Joke Dave boss Pope 🤣 Hook hand man car door

I'd go with something that has a little more class than most of the suggestions here. Something with a certain ring to it. Like... Biggus Dickus

What's so funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?
I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
- He has a wife you know.

My last name is a gemstone that is already used by strippers/pornstars often so I would probably keep that as the second part of my name but come up with something funny and/or masculine sounding for the first part since I'm a straight guy and not a female stripper/porn star.

Fuck it ill go with Dick Diamond.

Gives you a opportunity for great catch phrase:
"I'm as hard as a diamond" "Dont bite this diamond" "This diamond performs under intense heat and pressure"
- I have used all of these and more accompanied by a goofy smirk. My girlfriends have not found it as funny as I have. Haha
- "Diamonds are forever" and "Diamonds are a woman's best friends" are interesting catch phrases too
Is this Jack Ruby's lemmy account?

Too Many Pancakes.

Because I'm fat but flat.

Fair lmao

Chode Loadington

And I, Load Chodington, will be your arch nemesis and steal all your roles.

Al Dente: the perfect balance between soft and hard.

Ugot Badtaste

If you're watching me then you definitely do. Lol

Rock Hardman

A Hideo Kojima inspired porno, no doubt.

Roy Mustang. Always thought that guy was wasting his time in the military with a name like that

I would go through LinkedIn and pick a person at random, use their name with the exact same spelling and any alphabet soup they have behind their name