Florida inmate compares herself to 'Virgin Mary' after getting pregnant from saran-wrapped semen tossed into air vent by fellow prisoner
Florida inmate compares herself to 'Virgin Mary' after getting pregnant from saran-wrapped semen tossed into air vent by fellow prisoner
A Florida prison inmate has been compared to the Virgin Mary after falling pregnant with the child of another inmate despite the two never having met face to face.
29-year-old Daisy Link was being held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center in Miami-Dade County, Florida, when she met 24-year-old Joan Depaz, initially contacting him through the vents in their prison cells, according to WSVN7.
"You would knock on it and you can hear the people from the different floors. You would stand on the toilet actually to be able to talk to them," said Link. "Being in isolation for so long you begin to spend hours and hours talking to this person, you know, to the point where it's almost as if you're in the same room with them."
...
After Link and Depaz began a romantic relationship, Depaz shared his ambitions to have a child with Link, according to WSVN 7News.
"I always really wanted to have a baby. And I'm not gonna get to do that for a really long time," said Depaz, recounting what he told Link. "So if I had to choose somebody, you know, it would be you. And she was like, 'Yeah, we could do that.'"
Depaz and Link then hatched a plan to create a direct line between each other's cells using bedding. Once they had established this, Depaz began sending Link his own semen wrapped in saran wrap.
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"I put the semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight" he continued.
Link described receiving the packages, which were rolled up "almost like a cigarette", administering them to herself using yeast infection applicators.
After a couple of attempts, Link became pregnant with "a miracle baby", conceiving "like the Virgin Mary," according to Depaz.
Who says romance is dead?
Those two cookies are in for murder 1 and murder 2 plus other violent offenses. Just in case other people were wondering why they said they wouldn't get a chance to be a parent for a very long time.
The proud father:
And the happy mother:
Not like this Jurassic Park Scientist man. 😭
Not like this.
5 times a day for a month!?
Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?
I got the sense that he was stockpiling his…product, and then shipping it over the border once he had accumulated enough for a proper insemination attempt. I hate everything about what I just typed.
Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.
And they say romance is dead
That headline just got wilder with every word
Still a better love story than Twilight?
Absolutely. If nothing else, I'm not hoping everyone involved dies at the end, which is a massive change from twilight
The Shaw-wank Redemption?
Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.
I was coming on here to post: Sure-wank Impregnation but Frankensteining the two gets us:
The Sore-wank Impregnation
"Every day like five times a day for like a month straight"
Prison Wank?
The Rock (hard)
So that's how God did it, huh?
The Bible hand-waves away some steps, but pretty much.
Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.
It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.
Life uh, finds a way.
I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.
Or a guard trying to hide it like some people said on other comments.
Who wants to take the odds on this actually being a guard's kid after the DNA test is done?
This reminded me of a story in "Archipelago Gulag." Bear in mind, some gulags were absolutely vast.
So at least in this particular gulag, women and men had separate dormitories, but men often visited the ladies' huts and openly got it on, resulting in a lot of pregnancies. Pregnant women didn't need to work and after their 2nd (3rd?) child, they were discharged and could go home.
The guards finally managed to keep the intruders out, but now, men and women just met after work, out in the open. Guards put up barbed wire to gender-separate the areas. Pregnancies surged even harder. How so? You see, the wire did not touch the ground in all places. So the men got down under the wire, on their backs. The women squatted down, and...
The guards then put up a solid fence, but good jumpers/ climbers could get over it, so... pregnancies, still. Finally, they made the fence so tall that the baby-making stopped... almost entirely.I read that as Satan-wrapped and I had questions. Then I read it correctly... still many questions.
It's questions all the way down.
"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."
Hopefully these two never meet in person because their relationship would suddenly end very quickly.
That poor kid that gets born from this relationship though ..... "Hey! are you that guy/gal that got born from the prison Virgin Mary? I heard of that story years ago on the internet!"
"Did you love mommy a lot-alot?!"
Son
hand on your shoulder
It's like this...
Mommy, where do babies come from? The Stork, love, you, the pipes.
Getting a child in prison.
What could go wrong?
You know what? With those people I think it’s better that they did it in prison.
OK. I read this and know that I just didn't die soon enough
Congrats on taking on child support payments from your fucking jail cell, m'dude.
spits out coffee
wwwhhhhhhaaaaattt?
I don't find this funny. This is essentially rape.
If we assume this story to be true, and they really did set up an elaborate semen delivery mechanism using bed sheets strung through the ventilation system, that practically guarantees mutual consent. Every part of this scheme requires the full cooperation of both parties.
How?
Are you confused because the man's name is Joan?
As an actual rape survivor, please (redacted)