I'm working on a screenplay for a remake of Castaway, but I'm considering not using a volleyball this time. Give me your best casting ideas for which inanimate object should play Wilson.

The biggest, most monstrous dildo you can find.

He never uses it. Just befriends it and talks to it like in the original. Just leave the possibility hanging there.

Magic 8-Ball

This time Wilson can kinda sorta actually talk back.

couch cushion

An MRE. When supplies dwindle, our protagonist is faced with a tragic choice.

A coconut. Those who know, will know. Those who don't, may their innocence last forever.

The severed head of a man named Wilson.

A dakimakura, AKA a body pillow. Needs an anime character on it, obviously.

Oh wow look at what the tides have swept ashore. A Pringles can, some rubber gloves and a few sponges.

A pot plant which he might try take care of for a while before realising it's plastic, but has already grown attached to it.

a super valuable in-the-original packaging giant boba fett action figure, he's tormented by keeping it mint in case he ever gets back, somehow the rocket launcher ends up saving his life.

Wouldn't the object need to be something of deep importance to the individual or be a poetic representation? I always assumed the volleyball was a symbol of everything he left behind. Things like recreation no longer mattered; only survival. :shrug: but I also thought the movie sounded incredibly boring. If you want a random item, go for qualities like "awkward to carry" or "gets hot when left in the sun". Give your characters personality or force them to choose that object at a moment it's inconvenient.

• An oversized diamond/ faberge egg - it's valuable, heavy or fragile and inconvenient, in a critical moment your character may need to smash it against something risking damage
• Teddy Roxbury/furby - favorite toy growing up? Creepy voice at stalking moments? Mid point twist when the batteries die?
• Harmonica - potentially a little Disney princess forest friend vibes
• Bowling ball - Wilson prolly plays a little different when it's not feasible to take him on a raft, prevents you from climbing trees and burns precious calories transporting. Mobility is now a plot point. Decent weapon tho
• Toilet plunger/brush - everyday object that can be utilized differently, maybe adds that little bit extra reach to save the day?

Couch

A bowling ball. Can change some of the script so he catches it before it rolls off the raft but he falls in the water with it. He's too heavy and weak to make it back to the raft so he has to let go and watch it immediately sink or he's taken under too (also a good reference how it's hard to save someone from drowning when you're near drowning yourself). Definitely thought of a dildo first till I saw everyone else put it up though.

A 1ft tungston cube

A dildo.

A fleshlight.

Do your work for you, you say?

Or is this a hobby project?

The corpse of Harry Potter that's slowly coming back to life

Oh wait, that movie exists already

Wilson from House M.D., who, after surviving cancer, decided to retire from oncology and live as a recluse on a desert island.

Can I just suggest that to mix things up a bit, this one should be set on a peninsula.

A walkie talkie that he can't find any batteries for.

A furby or tickle me Elmo.

Miss Piggy.

A toaster. Toasters are friends

The same volleyball, but he's imagining it and he's the only one who can see it.

After a month of deliberation, I have settled on a beanbag chair. Thanks for the suggestions everyone, they were quite inspiring.

A big rock that has the vague shape of a human face.

I know someone who had such a rock in their house. They kept a cigarette in its "mouth."

Some piece of very modern technology that floats. I think Wilson in the movie represents Hank's character's last grasp at a shred of civilization, so he holds onto it as hard as he can. My first idea was an e-ink tablet with an author's face on it, but that's a little too on the nose. Maybe it should be something that reflects how much more reliant we are on our modern conveniences than we were during the original.

Edit: Raycon earbuds. He calls them Ray and if you're lucky that might also bring in some sponsorship money

How about a pet rock?

A mannequin

Plank