Anthropology

"Xeepzorp, it's not that complicated. The thumb-up is like crossing your eyestalks, and the middle-finger is like extruding your rectal tentacle."

Ah yes the ass dick
- Aliens with a literal dick-butt? The Internet would love them!

Wait until they learn that the thumbs-up in some countries means what the middle finger does in the US...

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the Czech Republic, where apparently holding up a single index finger means 2.
- Not a Czech but now that you mentioned it I want this here too!
  I mean have you tried counting from either end using all your fingers i.e. thumb == 1? That dexterous shit is hard so making a single index finger two instantly makes it nice and smooth!
  (Instant edit: this obviously only holds if index finger+ middle finger counts as 3, otherwise there really only seems to be an advantage in calling out 2 and my argument collapses)
- I do have some experience with the Czech Republic and I'm pretty sure this isn't the case.

It's not that complicated, aliens

The middle finger gesture was used in ancient times as a symbol of sexual intercourse, in a manner meant to degrade, intimidate and threaten the individual receiving the gesture. It also represented the phallus, with the fingers next to the middle finger representing testicles

It's a classic human cock-and-balls, simple as

Ah yes signs and symbols. Surely no alien ever has heard of those.

Humans vibrate the air in different and complicated ways. One vibration pattern humans like, another vibration pattern they don't like. sure this "speech" thing is really complicated. also symbols squibbled on surfaces. language, am I right?
- Instead of just using brain-to-brain radio waves like any civilized species would. Pathetic.

This made me realize that if we encounter aliens there is a non-zero chance there will be alien weebs that become obsessed with our culture and think it is superior.

That's how we beat the Zentradi.
- The Zentradi thought swimsuits were armor, they don't exactly have a track record for brilliant decision making

Seems like any aliens advanced enough to study us would very easily figure out that hand gestures are a form of communication.

The exam is explaining the difference between split index and middle finger palm forward and split index and middle finger back hand forward.

So I was going to make a joke about the peace and v signs by using the "peace be with you; and also with you" thing but have it say "Peace be with you. And also 'fuck you'". But then I was thinking, what if I said "up yours" instead because it's a more direct reference and less offensive. But then I realized it doesn't match anywhere near as well in syllables/sound.
So, long story short, my question is which one would be funnier/more appealing? Seriously, I genuinely want to hear opinions
Peace be with you. And also "thank you"
"Why are you giving yourself the bird?"

Fun fact: cats sometimes respond similarly to humans when presented with the middle finger. Without training. And often it with cats that do hate it, it's that finger specifically and only that specific gesture.

I still have absolutely no idea why, but some cats just naturally react as if it's an offense towards them. Maybe they equate it to a tail raised straight?

My dog pisses on other dog's piss as a show of dominance. We're all weird.

At least that makes sense and has a logical reason

Let's see how harmless it is when I jam it in your compound eye Mr. Kleezorp

"The gesture is an invitation for the adversary to put their middle finger in their own excreting orifice"
"Wow it must be painful for them!"
"They seem to have rather pleasant experience instead"
"Interesting..."

"We must facilitate this experience for them as a sign of good faith."

And some humans don't mind the middle finger at all and even react to it with bemusement!

Ya know I don't actually think having widely recognised hand signals with different meanings is all that weird.

Body language is ubiquitous as communication in animal species, it's like saying "why one noise good but another noise bad"

Maybe it evolved to be harmless. Maybe it used to be the poison finger and now we instinctively try to poison each other.

If aliens exist (and they probably do,) they’d probably take one look at our incessant sat tv broadcasts and nope the fuck out.

Also, probably just stay away because they’d know we nuked ourselves. Multiple times. We’re psychopaths.

Or they're still watching single female lawyer and will visit when the feed cuts during the finale.
- Can you imagine another species being addicted to reality TV?
There's a Star Trek ds9 episode where a non-human alien gets sent back in time to 1947. They discover on their sensors the radiation from the continual nuclear bomb tests and are horrified that the humans would irradiate their own planet. I just recently became a 'trekkie' and I get it, it really has some of the best themes and plots in sci-fi
- You’re talking about the one where quark and rom go back in time on accident? And get caught by military police?
  It ain’t trouble with tribles, but it’s a good one.

I did corporate training for an international company for about 20 years. Once when I was in Mexico something happened in class and I said something was okay and used my finger and thumb to make the okay sign. They kind of laughed and started talking among themselves. I guess the okay sign means asshole in Mexico so when they explained that I laughed with them and said I didn't know that. One of the jokers in class said "yeah, okay we believe you" and gave me the okay sign. lol