...how much is the stock market?
No, like the entire thing. All of it. And the bond market, I'll take that too.
Buy it all as a retail trader, or as much as possible in 24 hours. Pay people to help me get more trades done.
Wreck some short sellers on the way, inflate the value of a bunch of companies, acquire several publicly traded banks and at least one investment firm, probably a law firm or two. Pay them to explain it to the IRS.
I'd just spend the next 24 hours moving money from that account to other accounts and withdrawing as much cash as I can, so I can continue to have more money than I could ever spend in a life time after the 24 hours.
So just my bank balance goes back to normal?
Then I'd immediately go to the nearest rich suburb, go to every big bank that has an atm and just keep withdrawing cash till it's empty, chuck it in a bag and move on to the next.
Probably stop every few hours to buy more crypto and order more stuff for delivery to sell/give away
Might buy as many tickets as I can on a bunch of those car/real estate raffles you see everywhere now with limited entries and hopefully at least one comes through
Anything I can buy with a card/online I'd do it. For the rest of the day it's running between ATM's pulling out as much cash as possible.
Do you keep everything you acquire? Because then of course all the digital and paper instant wealth options mentioned.
If you dont personally keep what you acquire, then be good to everyone else so you're surrounded by goodwill after the fact. All friends, family, neighbors and immediate area strangers get a new house or existing mortgage paid off, a new car, a college tuition for each kid and 25 prepaid family vacations. The city gets new freely accessible community features funded and everyone gets a guaranteed universal basic income for the next 100 years. Also purchase all the medical /college debt and forgive it immediately.
Only caveat, you do have to sign a legally binding contact that says you understand that trump didn't win the 2020 election and he's lying when he says the election was "rigged", because he's a sad little bitch loser.
Go to all my local hospitals and pay off all medical debt. Then take out a few million in cash for myself/family.
Create another bank account and transfer it all there, so I can have some time to think.
Go to the bank and ask for an administrative check of 100 billion. The bank will secure the funds and you can redeposit it the next day.
I'd buy TSMC
Step 1: Create a trust or corporation in which I am the sole director.
Step 2: Open new bank account in the trust or corporation's name.
Step 3: Transfer unlimited funds into the new bank account.
Step 4: ?????
Step 5: Solve World Issues
Step 6: Swim in a Olympic size swimming pool of money Scrooge McDuck style.Edit: Formatting
Buy as many banks as possible, then gift every account with $1b dollars. Buy the banks at 500% above any reasonable asking price. Or even unreasonable asking prices. It doesn't matter. Then buy as many companies as possible, same deal.
Then buy all the houses/land possible. Finally, give as much of it away as possible.
And if you do it all fast enough, no one would catch on to how fucked you just made the world economy. Which is the good by to capitalism.
Buy an epic fuckton of bitcoin.
Some other type of financial account.
Bearer bonds, ofc.
I'm not sure if I can do any of these within 24 hours, but -
- I would buy some land, at least enough to farm for the next 2 generations.
- Buy a private Island and a Boat / Yatch
- Invest a lot in stocks.
- Cash out some money to use for emergency situations.
- Initiate a large scale Solarpunk project.
I'd buy the IMF, so then I control the money.
Free AKs and RPGs for every marginalized person on the planet - including enough ammo to fight WW3 three times over.
I would pay off my house and my friends&family's houses, i would buy us all new cars, i would order a bunch of car parts, i would spend a shitload of money at a few local food joints, i would pay for lawncare and housecleaning up front for as far ahead as i could, i would max my retirement accounts for this year, I'm sure i could come up with more if i had any time left.
However the last thing i would do is go buy thousands and thousands of lottery tickets.
With infinite money, I'd absolutely love to donate trillions to the Linux foundation, The Web Archive, Wikimedia, GNU Foundation, EFF, etcetera, to help progress humanity forward in a more open pathway.
Though I also wouldn't mind just buying my way onto the quickest flight to Japan from west coast America and buying the full rights to Chu Chu Rocket from Sega and Vib-Ribbon from whoever owns that copyright, so I could make the sequel Chu Chu rocket deserves and make a PC port/remake/clone of Vib-Ribbon, both without getting into legal trouble. This is assuming they'd just accept tons and tons of raw, hard cash I manage to withdraw from ATMs all over and I have enough time to pull it off.
The 24 hour part is tough and unfortunately it’s just a little too early to help with college costs, so I think realistically:
- pay off my mortgage
- pay off my car
But most importantly…
- Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. Not only is this a fantastic cause to ease the lives of seriously sick kids, but for that kind of money I can bring back leadership of largest donor from the King of Saudi Arabia, and maybe establish an additional location to help more children
Assuming this scenario also temporarily changes Bank of America's fraud detection policies to allow for crazy spending, I would pay all my closest developer friends a ton of money to quickly code up some scripts designed to scrape the websites of Indiegogo, Kickstarter and Gofundme to fully fund (10x over) every wacky idea anyone has ever proposed.
Buy all the stocks, funds and bonds across the board.
When all the money goes away I can make millions or billions like so many other rich people. By doing nothing.
I'd be making a lot of family, friends, and coworkers very happy. Reminds me of the Elders' "Seven Years" https://youtu.be/woh3Qqx8mjk
Monero
Off the top of my head I can think of buying all the houses that are for sale that I can buy. The next day I start the process of selling them at a quarter of the price I bought them for to families only. No landlords. It would be an opportunity for many families that they would never get otherwise. And I'd still get a fair amount of money if I were able to buy a few houses. I could do the same thing with vehicles probably more easily too. I'd also be able to pay a contractor for upgrades to my house even though those upgrades may take months and a contractor may run off with money (something I did and something that happened during an actual spend down I did in 2019). If I could pay for an expansion on my house I could foster kids.
A complete medical check, a solid insurance and all according procedures for all. I won't be able to enjoy any wealth if I'm and my crowd are not healthy. And if there's no workarounds to keep these money, I'd prefer that.
