Truck carrying aggressive monkeys infected with hepatitis, herpes, and COVID crashes in Mississippi
University says escaped monkeys in Mississippi are not diseased
In retrospect, I should apologize for posting such a shitty article from such a shitty source. I did it for the laughs.
So, reading the short article, only one infected monkey escaped, per the sheriff's office. Then the University they are from clarified that their infected monkeys are not contagious, and there were no infected monkeys on that truck.
The monkeys are for primate virology research.
Nice reminder of just how hard spun headlines are.
Oh most definitely. But I won't let that get in the way of having a good laugh.
This should be the top post.
To be fair to the original poster this news article has been revised multiple times since original publication. When it was first posted the article contents very much matched the headline but subsequent changes were made that included things like the clarifications from the university.
I boo you
RFK Jr will be very worried that his newly recruited team for the health and human services department had an accident whilst travelling to their new government offices.
Those monkeys are significantly more qualified than any of his current picks.
Truck carrying aggressive monkeys infected with hepatitis, herpes, and COVID crashes
A long as no one fucks the herpes monkey we should be fine.
in Mississippi
Shit.
That are three fresh epidemics for the price of one.
My monkey shipment!?!? There goes my weekend plans.
Calm down Dr. Evil
Listen, sometimes you need one hundred trillion dollars
Now tell me there was 12 monkeys in there
I actually had this one on my 2025 bingo card.
what else is
Two dead presidents... Didn't say which countries tho.
Right Wing conspiracy in 3... 2...
Dang DEI woke monkeys carrying a fake china disease made in a laboratory
Thanks OBiden
Driver was drinking Tylenol.
Are there 12 of them? Asking for a friend.
Great flick. I think Brad was awesome.
I think he was so convincing that maybe he's a bit unhinged IRL.
Between that and fight club...
I agree though. Thoroughly fun to watch!
Honestly, I'd be pretty aggressive too if I had hepatitis, herpes, and COVID and was just involved in a crash.
Nice
451 is a great error code. It's a reference to Fahrenheit 451, and is used to indicate government censorship. In this case it's being used all wrong, and almost ironic in nature.
418 is a fun one too. "I'm a teapot"
That's probably for the best. Nobody should be subjected to fox news, or contribute to their ad revenue.
It's still the net, but it's not very inter these days
yeah with the way things have been going this tracks.
Assuming each monkey only has one of those infections each they are probably lowering the population average for Mississippi.
And raising collective IQ
You beat me to it...
Dear God... Just why!?!
A friend of mine sent me the first screenshot and I thought the Facebook account had just been hacked.
At this point I'm just like, yeah, that may just as well happen.
When air force 1 goes down:
I know they would just get in people's attics and cause mayhem, but Jesus fuck I've always wished the American southeast had wild monkeys I am rooting for the sole survivor
Yeah, that’s not very typical. I’d like to make that point.
typically the shipments aren't mixed like this. and the front stays on. but in this case. you see, when transporting aggressive monkeys with any one of the diseases, that's bad, but the front usually does, yes. stay on.
Well, I was thinking more about the other ones.
They changed the article title but the URL still holds the goods.
one is still on the loose!
I'm pulling for you buddy. Get the revenge you deserve!
Hey this one was NOT my fault, I only work outside of US borders
So... Tuesday.
FOX13
Well, yeah. Murdoch adding more salt to the wound.
My first thought was that this happened many years ago. It would explain a lot...
A couple years ago, the US had hundreds of thousands of people getting long covid every month.
Long covid diminishes cognitive ability significantly.
...that should explain a lot
Because of course
Ape Escape!
Why the hell were they transporting those monkeys from one place to another?
Funding cuts?
I feel like I should check on the story in about 28 days…
Also 28 weeks
Don't bother checking after 28 months though.
Witnesses of the crash: