I put a dick on it. (Lithuanian)
Not as obviously cool as the above, but I always liked the way Tagalog (Philippines) works: wala akong pakialam. Literally translated, it's just "I don't care," but there's a layer of passive-aggressiveness that can make it really offensive.
Hopefully interesting grammar lesson
In the Philippines, politeness is a really big deal, so big they have multiple layers to it:
- add "ho" - use for someone around your age to make the sentence polite
- add "po" - use for someone of higher status or age to make the sentence polite
- use plural form of you - makes anything more polite, and must be used w/ "po" with the elderly or people deserving/expecting respect
There are also pretty strict, unspoken rules about what is appropriate and what's not appropriate to say in public.
Tagalog also uses prefixes to verbs for conjugation with separate prefixes for different uses of the same verb (e.g. physical action vs "internal" action, group action, habitual action, etc). The prefix here is "paki" (turns things into a request), and the verb is "alam" (to know). Literally translated, it means something like "please inform me," though you could use other ways to communicate the same thing. My point here though is that "paki-" makes the request super polite.
To break it down: "wala" (Nothing, don't have) "ako(ng)" (I, me), "paki-" (polite request), "-alam" (to know).
Basically, that construction throws out the entire culture of politeness while blatantly saying you don't want anything to do with knowing about whatever that is. In many contexts, it's more offensive than swearing at the person.
When I talk about preserving Linguistic Diversity, this is what I mean.
I offer "me vale madre" or "me vale verga" n Mexican Spanish.
The first one is weird, madre in this context both does and doesn't mean "mother". It's closer to to the mother in "motherfucker" than it is to "I fucked your mom".
They both mean "I don't give a shit" although with different flavors of vulgarity.
The second one is literally "this means dick to me"
It concerns me (like) a cardboard-duck. (Danish)
Greek Yeah I know of that phrase but it's not really used. It's as funny in Greek as it is in English.
Most common is "on my balls", the short version of I am writing it/him/her on my balls. Implying that you care so little you have the name of it/him/her written on your balls. Yeah it does t make much sense.
The lighter version (you would see in subtitles for example) is "to me there is no nail being burned". I don't know where it comes from. Must be something to do with nails being left behind when you burn wooden structure.
Edit: oh I remembered another; "I shat myself".
One of the ways to say in Brazilian Portuguese: "estou cagando e andando"
Literally, "I am shitting and walking (simultaneously)"
A few others from french :
J'en parlerai Ă mon cheval (I'll make sure to tell my horse)
Parle Ă mon cul, ma tĂȘte est malade (Talk to my ass, my head is sick/ill)
Je m'en tamponne le coquillard (no idea how to translate this, but here is a fun explainer, also in french)Turkish: Not on my cock (Sikimde deÄil)
This is missing the worst one to translate:
I have kama two.
It doesn't fully make grammatical sense in the original Estonian form either. The "have" part is also usually skipped, leaving just the noun case implying ownership over the kama
This is just one of many ways to say it in Estonian. We really are a nonfuckgiving people, except when we give too many of course. You can also say "I have clay" or "I have a (violin) bow". Of course these are just slightly rude (depending on tone and conversational partner), you can also say "doesn't ballsack me".
There are more vulgar ones in Spain:
Me la suda ("la" refers to "la polla"): It makes my dick sweat
Me la pela: It peels my dick
Me importa una mierda: That matters a shit to me
Obviously, this last one is closer to "I don't give a shit," but it's essentially the same sentiment.
Swearing in Greece and across most of the whole region is hilarious. The actual "I don't care"/"zero fucks given" phrase is to write something on your balls or dick.
So many sayings are mother/whore/balls/dick based - not offensive phrases, just common sayings.
It sucks me (as in fellatio) an egg (testicle).
It sucks my dick.
I care a crow's nest (as in ships)
I care a turd.
I care a shit.
(Spanish again, we are creative people, as someone pointed out, the New World is way more colorful than Spain)
"I shit on it!" ("Szarok rĂĄ!") - in Hungarian.
Besides that just "I don't care." ("Nem Ă©rdekel.")
Maybe "Not even the dog cares, who lives in/at the shooting range." ("LĆtĂ©ri kutyĂĄt nem Ă©rdekli.") But it's more like for situations where you want to express, that nobody cares.
It naps on my dick. (Bulgaria)
Nr. 2 is awkward for people wanting to use manure on plants...
All these seem weird, but âdonât give a shitâ is perfectly normal to me.
"My dick hurts" (Bosnian)
There are multiple ways to say "I don't care" (which is what the expression stated means). You can say "Juckt?" Which is very informal and basically means "is it itching?" Or you could also say "das geht mir am Arsch vorbei" which means something like "its going next to my ass" (I don't really know how to translate it in a better way, but it means, that said thing is passing your ass)
Zero fucks given about this post. /s
