Door mat subscription is $29.99 per month

5$ of mesh is an option.

<2$ of large keyring is an option
- Stealing a doormat is also an option.
- Then $40 for sexy cargo pants to hold your giant keyring.

I think the real question here is wtf kind of crazy doorknob is that?!?!?

I’m betting this is less of a knob and more of an immobile handle.
- You'd be correct, my front door works similarly (minus the key-swallower under it).
- That just makes this even more evil lol
- What's the difference? (Asking as a non-native English speaker)
90° rotated robotic horse penis and it. Is. A. Fan. Of. Yoooohooouuuu!

I'd keep the keys attached to a belt or wrists or something. If I lived there long enough, I'd even steal the lid and replace it with something finer...

It's fine the person in the picture is a pro that can hold the keys like a power puff girl
- Wasn't there a scene where they discussed how weird their hands were?

I hate drain holes that appear to go all the way down to bedrock where you can feel heat coming from the earth below. Like it's the first chapter of Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Guy in front of a no knock raid party gets to confirm the hollow earth theory for himself.
Wherever he saw a hole he always wanted to know the depth of it. To him this was important.

Cheap pickset and learn to do it: priceless. No. 1 life skill.

Until you drop that down the grate too
Lockpicklawyer alt account detected /jk
At least where i live your regular home locks are secure enough that non-destructive entry requires specialized tools and close to LPL level skill. In my country there was once a serial burglar that could do that and for a long time police didnt even believe the that there even was any burglary.
- You in one of those schmancy countries where everyone’s got them fucken assa abloys on their tool sheds?

Seeing all these “just get a giant key chain” comments reminds me that Lemmy’s core user base is the software engineer who stores a giant keychain in his cargo shorts, along side a multitool and the world’s thickest wallet.

You mean it’s NOT an accurate random sample of reality?
- Wait. Everyone isn’t running Linux on their daily driver?

Numpad time.

Those rule. Like why carry around physical secrets unlockers if we don't need to.

House owner: That's $499 for a new key.

Just use a keychain that is bigger that the grill pitch, any small trinket will do.

But then you need to carry around a big keychain.

My partners keys would be safe

This could make me carry around my keys on a retractable lanyard like a postal worker.

NO.

If anyone has a term for this specific phobia, please let me know

His palms are sweaty
Knees weak, arms are heavy...

Folded beach towel is one and done

Some window screen and zip ties would solve that problem.

If you had a basement that lead up to that drain you could put some mesh angled down, busy a hole into the the drain from your basement and if some stranger tries to grab your keys you can drop them inside.

if some stranger tries to grab your keys you can drop them inside.

When it finally happens "HA, I've been waiting 49 years for this exact situation! they all said I crazy." Old man shouts at sky "I told you Grettle that I'd have a use for that hole someday!!!"

A few moments later "Now, how do I get to the basment with no key"

Looks like a job for Michael Scott's Toilet Buddy (formerly known as Toilet Guard)