What's a bit of good advice that's really bad advice?
What's a bit of good advice that's really bad advice?
You know, like "always split on 18," or "having kids is the most rewarding thing you can do in life."
What's that one bit of advice you got from a trusted friend that you know deep, deep down would just ruin your thing?
"Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life."
or
"Do what you're passionate about."
Just no. Most things I like don't pay well and I started to resent the others while doing them professionally. Turning your hobby into your job is like setting your favorite song as your alarm. That's my experience at least.
"Der klügere gibt nach" which directly translates to "the wiser one gives in" or more or less matches the idiom "it's better to bend than to break".
Growing up I heard this a lot and it's mostly use to silence those who have (well-founded) objections. Took me a while to realize that this leads to us following the stupid because they don't give in which subsequently makes the wise one the stupid one.
"All kids think they are smarter than their parents." - my father, constantly growing up
What I learned: Never tell anyone else how to think or feel about anything. Anyone that tries to shape your thinking directly is a fool.
Intelligence is like beauty, we don't have a very good frame of reference to perceive ourselves. Physical beauty is largely measured by the reactions of others. Like beauty, intelligence has many facets. However my favorite measuring stick is curiosity. This is how I overcame my father's admonition; while curiosity does not guarantee intelligence, an intelligent person is always curious.
"Ground yourself to be safe with electricity".
Some people out there seem to treat grounding as a magical means for controlling electricity. Even in so far as it's true at all, you have to consider the situation and how it might move across your body.
Telling a teenager "enjoy these years, they're the best ones of your life".
First, tell that to a teenager undergoing severe depression is the opposite of helpful. Second, you just admitted to leading a shitty life. You got to 20 and the next 50 years were garbage?
Anything about god taking you to and through things, or prayer. How's that working for Ukraine or Gaza or a ton of other places with war, famine, violence, trafficking, etc.? Also, anything that refers to "fighting" cancer or other diseases - too bad your person is gone because they didn't fight harder.
All those who say [insert random hardship here] "builds character". It's not uncommon for me to respond with "what's in it for me?"
The Venn diagram for "advice" and "bad advice" is almost a perfect circle. In general, advice is only good if three conditions are met:
- it was requested or at least clearly implied to be welcome.
- it's given under a solid grasp of the situation, or after some serious thought.
- it's not assumptive in nature. And, if generalising, it takes into account that generalisations fail.
Those sayings - like in the OP - almost always violate #2 and #3. And usually #1, as it's that sort of thing that people vomit on your face when they're really, really eager to treat you like cattle to be herded.
Okay... example. Right. Acquaintance of mine saying that I should work with computers - because I use Linux, because I can recover a password, because I can spend ten minutes (I'm not exaggerating) trying to parse what he's asking help with. Under that "if u like it than make it you're job! lol" approach.
Yeah... nah.
Neither of these is dead wrong but were rules of thumb that oversimplify changing and complex issues in the US:
"stay away from credit cards" - often prevents people from actually learning about how underlying mechanisms of loans, interest, credit ratings, and budgeting work. There are definitely people incapable of having access to credit and not spending it, so the saying may be true for a subset but if you always pay your bill in full on time and just use autopay so you don't forget, you're leaving 1-5% annual rebate for almost all your spend on the table. If you play credit card churning games, much more.
"The only things worth going into debt for are a home and education." - while accurate in the US for decades, the applicability or even accuracy of this statement is now dubious depending on many factors: career field and interests for education; interest rates, geography and housing prices for homes.
Most one sentance advice is just a deepity
Generally, a deepity has (at least) two meanings: one that is true but trivial, and another that sounds profound, but is essentially false or meaningless and would be "earth-shattering" if true. To the extent that it's true, it doesn't have to matter. To the extent that it has to matter, it isn't true (if it actually means anything). This second meaning has also been called "pseudo-profound bullshit".
- "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."
- "Follow the food pyramid."
- "Eat a well-balanced diet."
- "Meat is a carcinogen."
- "Saturated fat is bad for you."
- "Don't eat egg yolks because they're high in cholesterol."
- "Fruit and vegetables are good for you."
- "The vegan diet is the healthiest diet."
Ever since the US Department of Agriculture (not health) started their nutritional recommendations, once-rare diseases like cardiovascular disease, Diabetes II, obesity, and a whole host of mental illnesses have become extremely common.
People are only recently discovering that we can reverse/improve Diabetes I & II, arthritis, obesity, PCOS, psoriasis, depression, autism, anxiety, bipolar disorder, etc. by eating what humans have been primarily eating since becoming human ~2 million years ago when we left the trees, lost the ability to digest fiber, and evolved distinctly human traits for hunting (e.g. a skeletal composition that allows humans to throw heavy things accurately further than any other species, the ability to out-run every other land animal long-distance, and a large brain and complex communication for coordinated attacks on much larger animals).
Humans are still biologically evolved to be persistence pack hunters subsisting on fatty meat, a hyper-apex species that all other animals we evolved alongside (including other apex predators) fear just from the sound of our voices. We've lost sight of who we are as a species.