Terrible idea

You can already stick a bottle in the sand on the beach, though.

Also don't take glass to the beach, take cans.

Also don't take glass to the beach, take cans.
Take neither; show up drunk as FUCK.
- Bring yo needles!
- how about you don't need to drink, and drinking while outside in the sun further accelerates dehydration.
Who the hell wants to put their cold beer in the hot sand anyway??
- You guys have hot sand? - British person
But glass is made from sand, I'm just returning it to where it came from!!!!
Right? This is less a bottle you can stick in the sand, and more like a bottle you can't sit anywhere else.
- The point of the post is you can, though.
- there is one other place it can sit :3
But only cases! Never 6-packs.
For our sea turtle bros, you’re obligated to go hard.
- The brewery I like has solid turtle proof six pack connectors
- I've never even (consciously) seen a six-pack with the kind of stuff that traps animals, we don't really do 6-packs of cans here and the bottle 6-packs are held together by cardboard ...
I like this design for decanters. Apparently, for those, they're meant to resist tipping on a sailboat.
Something like this:
- how?
Take flasks.
- Take wooden barrels.
For me it doesn't really matter, glass or cans, just take whatever you brought back home or to a trash/recycle can
- Glass is just bad because if it breaks it can be impossible to see in sand or water.
You can stick tall cans in the sand
But isn't the thin metal equally as dangerous to slice your foot on?
- Yeah but if you drop your can on a random rock it won't fling metal shards around everywhere

Bruh, people put wine bottles up themselves, you think they need a torpedo shaped corona…. With its smooth taper… and bumps for extra pleasure…. Wait why am I at the liquor store?

Don’t forget lube. Might have some at checkout. They get it.
- Someone buy only these Coronas and some lube and take a picture of the cashier’s reaction.
Sticking bottles up your ass may lead to unintended consequences such as causing the collapse of a country
- context
- Ik, just being cheeky. I’m a yum…. Practiced anal enjoyer lol
Where's fisting enthusiast when you need him?

It has to be a joke. Why would I put my cold beer into the hot sand?

I'm no scientist but would the sand insulate at all?
- The top of the sand tends to be hotter than the layers below. If you dig in a bit, the sand underneath is very cool and refreshing.
  Incidentally, its the opposite of the human anus, which only gets hotter the deeper you penetrate.

Should I know these people or is it just random gifs?
- Just random well-known reaction gifs (but if you want to know: Anna Sloan, Sheldon J. Plankton, Elizaveta Podkorytova).

I presume since the beer bottle says... squints Cream Blindness......... that this is not a real thing at all, and just everyone's favorite: AI slop.

Actually it says "Ocean Blindness." And apparently it's a real fake thing. Home-grown human-made photo fakery.
- Thanks for digging, that's cool. I'm glad that some Japanese weirdo actually created this for their art exhibit.

Why would the doctor not want people to stick things in the sand?

Because it gets broken and then it cuts your foot if you unknowingly are barefoot walking over it (that's a fun scar) ruining your day at the beach because you don't want to get saltwater in your cut because ow bleepin fuck.
They refer instead to the butthole, though
He means sticking it in one's ass, and you probably know why a hollow glass object with no flared base shouldn't be put inside the human rectum.
- Because it echoes when I fart?
- Oh, ok that makes sense. I was wondering if there was some sort of chemical reaction or something that was implied.
You and I are sheltered I guess. I thought it was to prevent people cutting their feet at the beach (presume that's not uncommon).
The butt thing does make it funnier though.

Could bring a whole new meaning to the term "butt chug"

Nope, it would still be the same. Just glass in the way.
- My understanding of a current butt chug is someone ingests liquid into their ass
  My new proposed meaning is when someone shoves the base of this bottle in their ass then positions themselves so a 2nd person can enjoy the chugging.

Not being funny, I’m pretty sure you can stick regular glass bottles in your ass anyway…

Wash the sand off first
Or don't if that's what you're into
- Negative lubrication
But chugging is a thing apparently
- Butt-chugging you mean

I am going to buy up the whole supply and resell at a furry con

Not being funny, I’m pretty sure you can stick regular glass bottles in the sand anyway…

Woah, why am I getting such a clear sense of deja-vu from this comment?
Wash the sand off first
Or don't if that's what you're into

What kind of person lives such a life that they would feel the need to buy these shitty bottles for anything besides shoving one up their ass?

If there was one thing on Reddit that was educational, it was Foreign Body Friday on the radiology subreddit.

Your rear deserves better! Proper equipment is less embarrassing and painful than an ER trip, friends. /gen

Been saying it for a while, we need to universally un-stigmatize putting things up your butt. The world would be a better place.
thats what a rookie would say!
- Prob isn't even on a first name basis with the good ER folk.
Proper equipment
Like a keg?

Well of course, the base isn't flared.

CyberOSHA over here demanding we don't have fun ...

Its always been easy to stick your beer bottle in the sand. This for somewhere else.

Nope, nope, nope, this is for nowhere. I'm having vivid flash backs of the jar video.
I'm thinking anus.
- Its always been easy to stick your beer bottle in the anus. This for somewhere else.

🎶 If it's going up your arsehole flare the base If it's going up your arsehole flare the base If it's going up your arse, there's a point it mustn't pass If it's going up your arsehole flare the base 🎶

clap clap.

That's how you get another '1 man 1 jar' incident.

I’m calling it “sand on the beach” from now on…

Sand to sand!
- ))<>((

But what if the danger (glass) makes it even hotter?

Yeah, I mean, Isn’t glass simply sand that just got really hot?

That's not the way to go about it, now I'm definitively thinking about it. 🫠

Don't think about a pink elephant.
- I don't think I could fit an entire elephant back there, no matter the color.

Those things look fun to throw

Bet if you put fletching on it you could get some good long distance accuracy.

My nurse friend had some dude in the ER a few months ago who stuck his wedding ring on his penis and couldn't get it off for what are obvious reasons to anybody but this guy. When this kind of thing happens the fire department has to come cut it off, so not only do you get a firefighter touching your junk and seeing the dumb thing you did, but also now your dick is a useless noodle, and you may spend the rest of your life reflecting on how easy the Internet makes acquiring safe items for such activities, and yet you chose a tiny gold band.

How small is that mans penis or how huge are his fingers??
- I guess he squished it down like a pool noodle, then couldn't do it in reverse with the swelling.

Oh, you got the joke. Good for you.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-humor
  Sorry you didn't understand it.
See, the ER doctor has seen or heard of patients who stuck foreign objects up their buttholes to stimulate their colons for sexual gratification and it caused medical issues and he noticed that the bottle is shaped in such a way that it could be inserted into one's anus, so he is cautioning people not to do it for their safety.

So you get warm beer?

Not if you go to a cold beach.

This is just a tiny amphora, the Greeks have this Japanese designer beat by about 3000 years

Hopefully these don't shatter as easily as the big ones ...

But if not but plug why but plig shaped

Without a flared base it is decidedly not butt plug shaped.
- The bottle cap looks flared enough

Well it's not like Yugoslavia can collapse again so why not ?

But it is designed, to be stuck into the sand … designed to!! Why then shouldn't I think about sticking it into the sand at the beach, why?!

Because it is coarse and irritating and it gets everywhere.
The message from the ER doctor suggest that ge expects people to put them in their butts, and advises that they not.

aaaaand the ER’s filling up.

What are you doing step-brother?

))<>((