Nudes are overrated

You type in English because it's the only language you know.

I type in English because it's the only language you know.

我哋唔一樣 (We are not the same)

One thing I love doing is to learn to say "I don't speak
<language>
" as well as possible in a language I don't speak. If you're good enough at it, people will assume it's a joke and try to speak to you in that language you don't actually know. Apparently I'm pretty good at saying it in Portuguese, but I wouldn't know.
- Most of what I got out of a Japanese class I took was how to say that I don't understand Japanese.
Excuse me I am more fluent in Gibberish than I am in English
Edit:too much Gibberish, not enough English
- Wabby wabby wabba wabbo wabba wa ba bop?

Okay, but I'm reading naked.

I’m diagnosed dyslexic which, when reading aloud, sends me into a stutter to full embarrassed apologies. When reading to myself, I’ll make it 10 pages before I realize I didn’t read shit. I’m never getting laid in your hypothetical world.

Who am I kidding? I’m not getting laid as is.

Man idk
I got a date secured and it dawned on me that I am NOT ready to have a date over. Like you ever realize how many things you gotta take care of that you stopped paying attention to?
Like fine, clear your counters, sweep the floor, clean the bathroom, replace the burnt out light bulb, clean sheets on bed, on box spring, on bedframe, shampoo carpets, dust shelves, put away clean clothes, wash dirty clothes, check your fingernails, check your ear and nose hair, your regular hair, make sure they don't have allergies, etc, etc.
Im ok with not getting laid I don't have the energy to go to work, do all that shit, panic for a week about the date, have fun at the date, play the social awkward dance of "more, not more" and potentially end up having her see that I'm an absolute disaster?
Nah I'm good.
- Yeah, I have SO many rescue animals, it’s hard to explain to normal people. Multiple dogs with all sorts of problems, a few parrots, an angry hedgehog, two cats, and my vet’s first call to foster (almost anything). They are all well taken care of and clean but there’s a… smell.
  I’m also holding Balthazar, a bark scorpion, against his will for invading Pretty Kitty Pepper’s land. Balthazar is kept well and fed a steady diet of pinheads. When he eats, it looks like a dot matrix printer in reverse. That’s the one creature in the house most people freak out about the most, but they would all be wise to fear the parrots.
  Pretty Kitty Pepper for reference
- I don't know if it's just my neurodivergencies speaking, but that's wayy too much. No way I'd ever do that, nor expect someone to do that for me. Basic things such as clean sheets and cleaning yourself? Sure. Dusting shelves, shampooing carpets, making sure everything is perfectly order, and other less important things like that? No I find that excessive and exhausting (although I don't like or have carpets in the first place). If someone comes over to visit they better be satisfied with a dryer rack full of clean clothes
  But I'm definitively someone that does not care about the dance, as you call it. It's too exhausting. And as we're all bogged down by too much work, mental health issues, and/or neurodivergencies and disabilities.. what purpose does it serve? All it ends up doing is make us more isolated because we feel like we have to present ourselves as "perfect" for other people. If we can't actually feel comfortable in a social situation with someone and actually relax and reduce our stress.. something has gone wrong.
  Like yes, don't have moldy food in the counter, but some dirty dishes in the sink are fine, you know?
  But again, maybe it's because I'm more entrenched in neurodivergent/disability culture. I don't hold this kinda stuff against people, and I hope they don't hold it against me back. I know how hard it can be. I think it's much nicer when we can accept, and enjoy time with, imperfect humans, than always expect and demand perfect humans. Especially when none of us are perfect in reality.
- Yeah routine self-management/self-care is something many people are looking for in a partner. At a minimum. Good on you for knowing. I actually live alone now, and I find those things are much easier to take care of without someone else’s clutter adding to the cacophony. Also, where things used to pile up I use baskets.
Show me the progress of your most recently opened audiobook.

Please don't, I've read so many words that I've never said aloud and am 100% saying them wrong

I made the mistake of pronouncing the "s" in "debris" once, and a pedantic acquaintance pretended to not know the word over and over as I repeated it, until I finally realized the mistake. If he'd simply corrected me, I would have laughed at myself and appreciated him. But he had to be a smug prick about it, and now I permanently resent him.
Sorry for the mini trauma dump. Just agreeing with your sentiment.
- Yikes fuck that person for doing that.
- I had a coworker who would frequently say "Not to be pendantic..." and I honestly could not tell if he was just fucking with me.
- They sound like the life of the party
Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word. It means they learned it by reading.
I learned English reading so many books that I just pronounced how it's spelled in my head. Combine that with general non-social tendencies I didn't really heard or had to say a lot of those words.
I had to spell out words to people because of that. Then I came to US, and now I can't even spell the words because the alphabets are pronounced differently lol.
- I immigrated to the US at like 8 years old, I speak on a native level, in contrast, my older brother stuggles like a lot, I noticed an accent. I asked my classmated if I have an accent, and they don't seem to notice any foreign accents.
  Even then, there are still weird words that feels very weird to me. Like wtf is colonel = kernel , lmfao
Pisces. Albeït. Melancholy. Queue. Colonel.

I've heard, and I don't know if this is true, that voice actors who specialize in narrating books have to be superstars at this. Not only are they expected to be able to sight-read an entire book without making mistakes, they also need to do the required acting so exciting scenes are exciting, happy scenes are happy, gloomy scenes are gloomy, etc. Plus, as they come across new characters in the book, they're supposed to be able to give them distinct voices and remember and recreate those voices as they show up later in the book.

Of course, a blockbuster book with a big budget for the audio version won't have an actor wing it. They'll be able to pay to have an actor and a director read the book first, and then have the director work with the actor to tease out the best possible performance. But, for a smaller budget, you have to deal with tighter margins so every second in the voice over booth counts.

without making mistakes
This part is not true at all. I know a guy who edits these, and from what I hear, re-reads are very much a thing.
- Yeah, well it's hard to do it without any errors, but it's an error every 5 minutes or something, whereas a perfectly competent normal person when sight-reading text will probably make an error every 30s.

Don't fall for it ppl! This is just the AI wanting more samples to detect, know and reproduce our voices.

This is why I just burp into the phone until I know I'm talking to a real person.

You don't want to hear me read aloud, I deliberately add malapropisms because I find them funny, especially when I have to read the names of fantasy characters and places. I am not going to read your pronunciation guide in your half baked fantasy language! You're not Tolkien! If it reads like Chicken, I'm saying Chicken.

Malapropisms - learned a new word today and it's a fun one. I do the same thing in my head when I read, any name I don't know how to pronounce becomes something I do know how to pronounce and stays that way for the rest of the story.
That's the reason why i use latin as base when i name things in fantasy, it both sound good and can't be misspelled
- Oh I am Mery hoot at misspeeling
I always read emphasis as "em-FASS-is" just for fun.
One of my favourite things about Brandon Sanderson's fantasy books is that the pronunciation is canonically "whatever goes". Even the author himself doesn't use the pronunciations he originally imagined when writing.

Oof, that's at least 1/4 of USA just OUT

Good. There's too many of us.
You wish.
more than half of people living in the United States between the ages of 16 and 74 read below a sixth-grade level
https://www.snopes.com/news/2022/08/02/us-literacy-rate/

You fuckin with the wrong people then. Find people with soul and their nudes will have soul.

reading books to each other is an amazing pastime.

pastime
keep reading those books
- i Swype type on my phone
  i really hope I'm smarter irl
- I don’t see the problem…?
My wife got cataract surgery years ago and they kind of botched it, so she could see for some time. She couldn't watch videos/TV, browse the web, or anything like that, and it was pretty terrible for her. She asked me to read to her, so it became a daily thing. It was pretty neat, I have to admit, though it sure did make me hyper aware of my pronunciation and stuff.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar, by Eric Carle...

..."aren't". What's "ain't" a contraction of, exactly?

I agree with the sentiment though.

Ain't has been around since 1749, with an't and in't preceding it. It seems to have always been associated with the common people, and familiar/colloquial talk. Dickens used it a lot for that reason.
Aren't to an't makes perfect sense among people who don't pronounce their rs like certain Brits (non-rhotic).
And isn't to in't, and haven't/hasn't to hasn't are certainly no more difficult elisions to understand than Worcestershire or Cholmondly, although those have kept their spelling because they're names.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ain%27t
AI not. Ain't.
- Snicker. :)
In fairness they never said they ain't stupid, they want to know if who they're messaging isn't stupid.
Ain't is just a shifted dialectal pronunciation of aren't
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ain%27t
Also relevant to the topic: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Webster%27s_Third_New_International_Dictionary#Treatment_of_the_contraction_'Ain't'
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ain%27t

Read? .... what kind of pervert are you?

Corps, core and corpse

Anything containing "ough"

Tough bluff dough though.

My issues prevent me from being able to read allowed without sounding stupid. But otherwise I read a few books a week, so are we sure this is evidence?

this is bait

Political trolls

Here's a very horny variant of this idea (no idea how it counts as SFW by Youtube standards)

Send me a picture of you wearing mom jeans.