They took our free break!

you gotta really question the mental wellness of someone who starts a company to produce a product that literally makes life worse for anyone that experiences it.

I mean, I don't take longer than a couple minutes to take a shit, but it does make it worse for those with health issues or trying to get a break with no other options
- The opinion of someone whose never had bowel problems and can't even fathom other people not being like them.
- GI issues would beg to differ… a good 10 min for bad flares to ensure I’m not back in a few minutes later.
  This is not a fun break time.

I'm just gonna straddle it reverse cowgirl style

Butters style.

Gonna start selling 3d printed toilet wedges out my trunk that re-flatten the toilet seat.

Wedge door stop would probably work also
provide epoxy so they can make it permanent.

Waiting for the lawsuits from people developing nerve damage and/or thrombosis

here waiting for the fucking guillotines
- Don't forget to make the neck rest at a 13° angle so they don't get to comfy in there.

Take enough toilet paper off the roll to wipe, use the rest of the roll to prop up the seat.

I see a claas action law suit from arthritic workers

Hus has Crohn's. That's covered by the ADA for now. Anyone with an IBD should join that lawsuit.

Just shit on the walls and the company will readjust again

Don't be an animal, just shit in the trash can in the bosses office, like a civilized person.
But seriously, this sounds like a good way to get rich. Once you "accidentally" slip off the toilet and crack your head open, then you can sue for the big bucks.
Transparent stalls with video surveillance

This should be posted in latestagecapitalism and aboringdystopia

I think I first saw this a decade ago.

Edit: And in that decade, not even a single post about those toilets being installed anywhere. Not one peep.

Shit on the floor

Everybody walk the Dinosaur?
- This cracked me up way more than it should have.

Upper decker coming right up.

Wouldn’t a couple of small blocks under the seat just fix this “problem”.

I mean I’m surprised they just don’t put those homeless spikes on the seat.

Do this in protest:

I'm not a toilet expert but I once heard of some person that did this and they broke the ceramic and kind of cut their legs, so maybe don't.
- I think this is an urban legend that never happened since I've never found any evidence of it happening, but definitely be careful and don't make a mess.
  Edit: there is a relevant Wikipedia article somehow: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet-related_injuries_and_deaths
  Edit 2: Maybe it happened once (NSFW): https://www.nairaland.com/2549481/graphic-pic-woman-got-serious

bring a book and shove it under the lid to make it level, fuck em. i shit till my legs go numb.

I have a medical condition that makes it difficult for me to defecate, so doing so often takes 20m or more.

I usually doo on my own time (because, like, ethic or whatever), but even so, this seems actively hostile to me and I wonder if there's a legal remedy.

Time to start crapping on the floor....

That's a statement!
floor is now tilted by 13 degrees

Somewhere there is a sales deck estimating ROI for uncomfortable toilets.

I have an idea: I go to a forest, I don't care who's claiming it, and throw wooden spears at anyone who enters.

I'd just start going to a restroom elsewhere with normal seats and take even longer breaks just to send them a message

Sit backwards on the toilet like AC Slater and your legs will feel better than usual

If you sit on it backwards, you won't have a shelf for your comic book and chocolate milk.
That means you need to take your pants all the way off.
\ Which means you need to take your shoes off.
I'm not removing my shoes and pants to shit in a public work toilet. I'ma grab a cushion from the lobby sofa and use it to prop up my feet

Don't hunch over? Stretch out! Legs and all! The easier angle will make it even better support.

UK workers gonna end up with calfs of iron.

Steve King and the Case of the Cantaloupe Calves

Joke’s on them! I work from home!

Despite their reputation as 'killer' whales, orcas are known to lend a helping fin by sharing their food with humans. A recent study recorded and analyzed 34 instances of prey-sharing by orcas (Orcinus orca) across two decades of observation.
Orcas, the largest members of the dolphin family, are widespread across all the oceans and engage in a variety of complex social behaviors. They have a rich culture and communicate using unique calls.
They also live in matrilineal societies in which older females model social behaviors for the younger members, influencing what they eat, do for fun, and who they mate with – as matriarchs may do in human societies. And, of course, orcas wear salmon hats and fashion kelp-based tools for their beauty routines.
Altruistic behaviors are common among orca communities. They commonly share food with their cetacean companions and family members as a "prosocial activity and a way [to] build relationships with each other," says lead author Jared Towers, ecologist at Bay Cetology in Canada.
The fact that they "share with humans may show their interest in relating to us as well."
The study spanned two decades and recorded dozens of instances in which wild orcas shared prey with humans. As criteria for inclusion, these interactions had to have been instigated by the whales, and not a result of humans approaching orcas. The interactions were either captured on video, in photos, or described to the researchers via interviews.
Of the 34 total recorded interactions, 21 involved people on boats, 11 involved people in the water, and 2 involved people on the shore. The orcas spanned both sexes and all age groups.
As another part of the inclusion criteria, the whales had to intentionally release the food in front of humans, from about one-orca-body-length away. Sometimes, the orcas played with the food items before releasing them.
About two-thirds of the time the orcas approached alone, but occasionally they approached in pairs and less often in groups. In half of the 34 interactions, the orcas offered an entire food item, such as a whole seal. In all but one of the cases the whales waited, for a median time of five seconds, to see what would happen after making their offering.
Ostensibly to the orcas' chagrin – but absolutely advised for ethics and cross-species safety – the humans ignored the offerings in 30 of the 34 recorded interactions. Still, some of the orcas made additional attempts to offer the food item. One can't blame an orca for trying.
Images from four instances when orcas offer food to humans Video stills of orcas sharing food items with humans. (Steve Hathaway/Lucía Corral/Jared R. Towers/Brian Skerry) It's possible that this interspecies prey-sharing is even more common than the study suggests, because this research only included examples based on strict criteria. Furthermore, these interactions may become increasingly common as human and orca activities begin to overlap more frequently.
Similar sharing behaviors have been previously observed in domesticated animals, like cats and dogs who sometimes split their food with their furless, bipedal friends. But this study is a rare groundbreaker that investigates sharing attempts from non-domesticated animals. As the researchers explain, "accounts of any wild animals attempting to provision humans are extremely rare."
Why are orcas so seemingly eager to share with humans? Perhaps to explore, play, and develop relationships with a curious brand of beings. Given the "advanced cognitive abilities and social, cooperative nature of this species," maybe orcas are attempting to forge cross-boundary relations. After all, stories of dolphins saving humans stretch back into antiquity.
Plus, orcas commonly hunt large prey, with diminishing returns when they end up with more food than they can consume, transport, or preserve.
And there's no clear risk of competition: orcas and humans are both apex predators but in "drastically different biomes." Accordingly, there are very few examples of wild terrestrial predators sharing surplus food with humans.
The researchers conclude that generalized altruism and reciprocity are cultural by-products of prosocial species. These behaviors are also social cornerstones associated with high levels of encephalization, or larger-than-expected brain size in relation to body size. In fact, orcas are second only to humans in this respect, say the study authors.
Therefore, these food-sharing interactions are a novel example that highlights an evolutionary and intellectual convergence, between the highest branches of the primate and cetacean trees of life.
This study was published in the Journal of Comparative Psychology.
Source

Guys, guys! Take it from an American: Don't be like us. This is some shit our employers would do.

I know our lifestyle looked fun and enviable once we grew up and left the kingdom to live on our own. And it's not all bad, but mistakes were made!

Next up, companies will force ~~employees~~ COLLABORATORS wear diapers during their shifts, no more bathroom breaks to anyone

Oops, I'm 230 pounds, I guess I sat down on this strange toilet too hard

Seriously, this has to be some clever business move to sell more toilets when the employees invariably take a sledge hammer to them.
Tell your coworkers to start plopping on the toilet. Won't last 3 days

I'll just stand then

The pants may pose a challenge and require some preplanning, but 15° is probably perfect to make sitting cross legged pretty comfortable. Bonus benefit, they can't identify you by your feet.

That’s fine, I’ll just wear my extra thick platform shoes.

what if I need to shit

That's what the three hours between your day job and night job are for bud.
- Look at Mr. Free Time over here with his 3 hours
Leg strain doesn't set in until after 5min...make it work

Good thing they're in private places so the asshole who ordered it won't know who broke it on day one.

If I'm suffering from the green apple splatter, my legs will not give a shit about 13 degree angle.

Gonna bring by own squatty potty to work

When they install these toilet I think it's a sign they want you to get creative with it.
Leave the pot and home anfd find a place at work that inspires you.
Isn't this kind of a move toward that anyway? The design seems like it raises your knees
- You will need to brace yourself with your feet so you don't (slowly) slide off the seat.

Wait, people sit on those things for longer than 5 mins?

Sometimes the crossword is a tricky one

Not working and get a leg exercise, what a steal

Leg day motivation

Not sure how these novel toilets work.
But I'm quite sure they forgot a piece, luckily you can buy that for about 8€ and bring it to work.

Compensates nicely for the angle.
Also don't know how to flush them but the boss will work that out.

Just gonna have to piss and shit all over the seat to assert my dominance.

You can do that for disability reasons.

FADAQ!

Is that legal in your country?

Germany:
I checked the rules.
Although there are a ton of regulations, surprisingly none seem to reference the height, size, etc. of a toilet (seat). That's surprising, if you consider the minimum spacing of the toilet to the wall, door,... is given (see page 10 - 15).
But there is this "catch-all rule"
(10) Durch Einrichtungsgegenstände oder bauliche Einrichtungen in Sanitärräumen dürfen Sicherheit und Gesundheit der Beschäftigten (z. B. durch Schnitt- oder Stoßkanten oder durch die Möglichkeit zur Ansammlung von Krankheitserregern) nicht gefährdet werden. [Page 5]
This basically translates to "Furnishings and physical structure may not endanger safety and health of the employees". The examples given are referencing e.g. sharp edges or possible accumulations of pathogens, but in the end I think that intentionally inducing strains is not very ergonomic and could be considered a health hazard.
- That makes sense. In my coutry there is a specific rule about not interfer or stop employees from using the toilet whenever or for how long they need. This would 100% be illegal
Nobody said it's illegal.

This is just grounds to have a Squatty Potty at work.

To be fair, sitting in a toilet longer than needed is a great way to get hemorrhoids.

GTFO to be fair how about the shareholders get the paternalism toilets in their houses too
- I wasn't defending them. Just stating a fact. No need to be rude.