They have to wear it somehow, but how?

Trick question, it would be a normally shaped and sized clown nose, stuck to the above the trunk area, a couple inches below the eyes

I hate to say it, but maybe we should acknowledge the elephant in the room… and ask them how they’d wear it.

It would look like this

It's got to be the first one, only because I don't believe they make red noses as big as the second one, and a red nose condom is just unconscionable

The first one but slightly bigger.

They would put two between their legs and resume hiding in cherry trees.

Yes.

“They have to wear it somehow”

The elephant may disagree with that.

Elephants don't have noses you dummy

Where Saddam?

all of the above