Cheating on your spouse is no longer a crime in New York

You used to have to prove adultery in order to get a divorce in New York state.

Family story time! My great-grandparents wanted to get divorced and were in New York, so my grandfather lay in a bed next to his mother-in-law under the covers and my grandmother took a photo to present to the courts. My great-grandmother apparently never even took off her coat.

That's hilarious and somehow wholesome that everyone pitched in to get the separation

Woot to all the people that were horny but it was the legal system stopping them from cheating on their spouse.

Great now make it so if you cheat you lose the ability to get alimony.

And an open relationship is different then cheating.

Honestly, I think it’s high time we ditch old marriage laws in favor of much more individualized marriage contracts that are settled in civil court if they’re dissolved. Modern marriages are much more complex than traditional ones and our antiquated laws don’t deal with them well. We’d have to update laws/policies about hospital visiting, medical decisions, inheritance, etc, as well, but I think it would be worth it.
- So reading a 200+ page EULA before saying I do, got it.
that's the opposite of the point of these laws. the entire point of this and no fault divorce is that the state shouldn't dictate relationships. how are you going to adjudicate cheating anyway?
- How?
  If person a is shown to have been cheating then person a loses any claim to alimony.
  Pretty simple.
  Person A in divorce court “judge I want alimony”
  Person B in divorce court “your honor Person A was cheating here’s the proof”
  Judge “ no alimony will be awarded from Person B to Person A”
  Why should anyone be allowed to get alimony after cheating? That’s just insult to injury.
  Your spouse cheats you walk in on it and now you want a divorce. Added bonus you have to pay money to the cheater for life???
  How does that make sense?
  It should literally be law that the alimony goes away at that point.
I do wonder the legal definition used here. I hope the law doesn't consider it cheating if you tell them about it first, regardless of if they say yes
- Just my opinion, if my spouse (I'm not married) walks up to me and asks if they can sleep with someone else and I say no. Then they do it anyway. I would absolutely call that cheating. Then I'd call a divorce attorney. If I had to pay alimony after the divorce I'd be extremely bitter.
People who are so concerned about that possibility can just require their prospective spouse to sign a prenup with conditions like that on alimony, as a condition of getting married.
- There are a number of states where the prenup is all but worthless.
Even Canada doesn't have that implemented, I wouldn't count on that any time soon. In Canada, your wife could cut off your finger and cheat on you then file for divorce, then you'd have to give her half of your house (even if it was your childhood home you fully owned long before your marriage) and pay her alimony if you make more than her. Also if you have kids, she's very likely going to win custody of them.
It's a bit fucked up lol
- In some states in the United States, if you get a divorce, they go back to birth so for example, a child home would be split up. But in most states, they only go back to the date of marriage. I will say : I’ll never get married ever. But if I was dumb enough to do it, I would absolutely never get married in a state that (during a divorce) went back to birth. And I would never live in that state (while married) either. What’s mine before the marriage is mine what is hers before the marriage is hers.
  No one should be able to claim the ability to take something before the marriage ever existed. That’s just my opinion.
  And yeah, I doubt it would ever get implemented.

Fuck me finally. It was a the only thing keeping me a chronic virgin.

Talking like a the famous plumber doesn't help either

It kinda should be IMO. If you can't not be faithful, don't fucking get married and be a cheating piece of shit.

It shouldn't be enforced by the state
Do you not see the issues with having the state enforce that?
You won't get a lot of argument that cheating is a shitty thing to do but the government doesn't need to be involved in peoples relationships.
yeah great idea. criminalise everything. had your freedom to the state. the american dream
- If you're worried about the American dream I have shit loads of horrible news for you since you haven't been paying attention for the last 40 fucking years apparently.
  Being able to be a cheating shitbag with no consequences should be the least of your concerns at this point.
I was married, we had an open relationship from the start. How is that criminal?
- That's not cheating, that's an open marriage. They're two different things.
I’ve been cheated on and divorced. My ex was seeing a divorce lawyer lol. That was some fun times with depositions and constant harassment since they had 24/7 legal access.
Even with all that said, I don’t think cheating should ever be criminalized. Just gotta be careful who you marry or date. I still have never learned my lesson lol.
- Yeah, Anyone who thinks cheating should be a crime isn't emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship in my opinion. It's a horrible thing to cheat on someone, but laws aren't for hurt feelings.
Every couple that wants the legal rights grants by marriage must be monogamous whether they want to or not, because it gives you feelings that you are unwilling to process when confronted by committed but nonmonogamous relationships?
If a married couple want to fuck around with other people, why should that be a crime?
- If they're in an open marriage, fine, whatever, but cheating destroys lives and should have consequences.