Are we in the stupidest timeline?

Shit.

I know shit's bad right now with all that starvin' bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin' out of French Fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

Oh snap it's the man himself! I love you el presidente!

the connection between the two might be more subtle than you think. bird flu has already jumped to cows and non infectious virus particles were identified in supermarket pasteurised milk. RFK endorses raw milk and is anti vaxx. Go figure.

Am I the only one who found a message of “hope” in Idiocracy? We start at a future dystopia approaching human extinction caused by following some of the worst trends in current society. Then a savior appears, and they’re smart enough to actually follow him? They’re able to overcome some of their worst natures and start on the road to recovery.

That's how you could tell it was fiction.

Silly Hollywood always insists on a happy ending.
They were moments away from killing him.
I saw it and the journey to get there. Sad to be on this side of the journey.

Remember that time when we elected a literal idiot to be president and a million Americans died because of how fucking stupid he was?

We were averaging one 9/11 every three days during Trump's pandemic. And that's just counting the deaths directly attributed to COVID, with the CDC and a shitload of states playing "don't test, don't tell" plus the delayed deaths due to cardiac injury I'm betting the death numbers were closer to 5x reported.
- That's why this time the plan is to get rid of a health ministery before the next pandemic hits.
- Yeah but it's not like we could bomb the virus so what are we gonna do? We're Americans, after all, the only thing we can do is wage war. War on drugs, war on crime, war on poverty, war for independence, war to end slavery, war on Mexico, war on Spain.
- I still don't know why Kamela didn't just run ads reminding people of all those who aren't here because of Trump's handling of Covid.
Not So Fun fact:

Bird flu has killed 50% of the humans it's infected so far, and that same idiot is going to be back in charge.

And this time, our soon to be Secretary of Health has part of his brain eaten away by a worm.
- Only the best people, folks!
And then we prosecuted him for crimes, convicted him, and then sentenced him to live in government housing for the next 4 years?

Shhh, everything I said is true don't ruin it for me with facts.
- Wrong kind of government housing, unfortunately 😓
- Be the change you want to see in the world.
Hey let's do it again! I'll call 10 million of my fellow Democrats and tell them not to bother showing up to vote. It'll be fun!!!

I keep trying to tell people. We do not live in Idiocracy, Idiocracy is a fucking utopia compared to what our situation is

Yeah stupid people wishing they had real solutions is a way better outcome than stupid people cheering for the worst outcomes thinking they are solutions
Yeah, we don't masturbate nearly as much and the news anchors aren't hot
- And they don't make Ow My Balls anymore.

The early bird flu gets the brain worm

RFK will replace vaccines with electrolytes, it's what plants crave.

But...but I'm not a plant... I'm pretty sure anyway.
- That's exactly what an FBI plant would say!

Here we are, "Idiocracy .001", folks. We are at the point where they haven't even realized that they need a person with an actual brain. It will get worse, much worse. Maybe they will pick a pedophile for attorney general. Oh, wait.

stupidiest timeline

i'm waiting for MTG's nomination and we should be good to go

She probably won't get one since she called out Laura Loomer for ~~saying the quiet part out loud~~ being too racist
Wow, I wasn't even paying attention to her. Looks like she and Lauren Bobblehead both kept their seats. I really think this election confirms that we're in a simulation, and a drunk grad student just fucked with it.
- I voted for them both because they're funny.
She's actually been having a "Too little, too late" Heel Face Turn, so probably not

Nah the stupidest timeline is simulation 28 where Elon Musk was able to capture the FDA and 30% of the US population was left mentally disabled by malfunctioning brain implants. Compared to those guys you're doing just fine simulation 19.

Welcome to the kakistocracy

Dont worry skroo!

Camacho did try to kill him, to be accurate.

We fortunately already have vaccines for bird flu

Well, as long as we fly out an antivaxxer in change of the only department that can ban existing vaccines, that should be fine.
Good to know. Also a point of info: RFK Jr. is against "big pharma vaccines".
- Well, as long as you have the money to pay for it yourself, you're golden. This could decimate the Republican voting base forever though.

Yes.