Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up
chicksworshippers.Satan welcomes all people, from all walks of life, with open arms. God is a bigot who only accepts certain people, if they’re “good enough”. It’s also my understanding that God killed over 2-million people, while satan only killed 10.
Tell me how God loves me unconditionally again?
And also God apparently has so much power he could fix everything in this world with little effort. But no, he specifically creates it. God created all there is, including all the bad stuff. Murderers? Rapists? Slave owners? ...? Yep. But, "Do not question God's intentions. He works in mysterious ways."
Story of Job is basically
Satan: bet that guy wouldn't worship you anymore if you ruined his life
God: Totally would, watch me kill his whole family
They are both on team asshole
Satan has death metal and titties. What's not to like?
Found Elon Musk’s alt account!
God had a pretty impressive kill count
Satan's was what? A dozen at most?
Pretty sure divinity isn't a killstreak.
I'm glad He's imaginary. I mean I have burnt incense. Didn't realise doing so carried a death penalty according to the Bible. I just thought it smelled nice
Technically, Satan is a creation of God. Otherwise christianism would be polytheistic. So even if you consider Satan as the good guy, God is still responsible for both good and evil.
In the story of the Tree of Knowledge, the serpent old the truth while god lied.
Between the two of them, only God kills in the bible, and boy he does it a LOT
Not even technically, just 100% that. God created the angels, Lucifer is an angel. In practice, many Christians practice a polytheistic religion in which Satan is the bad god.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z8j3HvmgpYc Satan's guide to the Bible.
Hol'upaminnitt. Lucy stops the panic attack and delivers the tasties, and they're still the baddie? Anon is one ungrateful gumby.
Satan is cool and understanding. He was God's bitch once as well.
God just claims you have free will. Satan is the one that actually fights for it
Ever heard of a Faustian Bargain? If the bible was written today, Stan would be taking requests through Amazon
Christianity would have been so much cooler if the Gnostics won the cult war
Yeah, it's unfortunate that death-cults preaching about the poison of reality are really bad at surviving through time.
Idk, the Catholics figured it out
Read your bibles people: GOD IS THE VILLAIN
The biggest trick of the devil was to convince everyone he was actually god
the plot twist is real
Hail satan
Highest resolution 4chan post I've ever seen
Just rolling into the next panic attack, huh?
Hail Satan
Praise Satan!
Lucy was the angel who stood up to their bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father and got kicked out for it. Why would I want to hang out with the judgmental prick instead of the guy who just wants everyone to eat drink and be merry?
bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father
Imagine Yahweh the war god is your Dad.
And you just wanna be an artist.
Hail Satan!
Anon tells on themselves about their true beliefs.
Plot twist: the calm was inside of you all along.
Hail Satin!
Hail Santa!
The only reason Jaweh is seen as the good guy is because they are better at marketing
Anon is going to Hell.
i hope we get a sinner version of heaven i dont think i deserve to be in the same place as murderers and rapists
God is not good. God is in fact very bad, if we assume they exist.
I actually had an order number of 666 before. The lady was calling out order numbers and when she got to mine she just announce the contents, we shared a look and had a chuckle. It was a mildly amusing event
Ticket was actually upside down. Anon was all good, it was 999
