me_irl
me_irl
51 comments
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"I was fired from my previous job due to acts of drunken sloth and a little theft. Then I spent time on my couch, doing nothing but watching Starsky and Hutch reruns in my underwear, eating cold spaghetti-os from the can and drinking warm beer. Then when the welfare checks ran dry, I blackmailed a manager at the next job. He hired me, I did nothing, but he was replaced by someone who didn't have anything I could dig up in his past quick enough. I can't work with Tom Swift Jr. there, so I am applying here. Here is a list of my demands upon hire, and some background checks I ran on you. When do I start?"
-- what these people think about a gap in your employment, possibly.
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You joke, but there are people that will actually admit crazy shit like this.
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I kid you not, I once asked a candidate what their greatest weakness is on the job. They then obliged with a vivid story about how they were pretty much the worst employee ever at their previous job. It was a clear "I don't know what I expected" moment, to be sure.
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Not too far from the truth, honestly.
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Brilliant work, I just don't believe I'll be able to remember it all in the interview...
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Got this question in an interview once. I just said I had taken time off for my health, and we moved on immediately.
Most people aren't dicks. They'll respect your privacy, because it's unprofessional to pry. Even as an employee if you have a health issue, they aren't obligated to know the specifics of it. You tell someone siloed off what the issue is, and they'll communicate to everyone else that you had a serious injury and that's it.
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it's unprofessional to ask in the first place, in my opinion. you can assume any gap is for a good reason and ask me about my experience instead.
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Yeah. I imagine at some point in my career I'm going to be asked to interview candidates as a kind of "hey you've been an engineer here for a while, what do you think of their technical background", and I don't plan to ask about any gaps. That really doesn't factor into their abilities or prowess.
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As usual with interviews, they don't really care much about the answer but how you respond to it.
When I used to help clients hire I didn't care much about your experience itself, other then to work it into talking points. I cared about if you were interested in the work and would fit in with the rest of the team, your ability to troubleshoot, and ability to ask others for help.
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In fact, this might be a good tactic to weed out bad employers - assuming one has the luxury of multiple interviews, of course.
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Agreed. Depends a lot where it comes from too. Is a future colleague asking you? Or is it HR? A department manager?
Either way, a good piece of information to judge the company.
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employers when their human employees face human problems: 😲
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God forbid you're looking for a job because you don't have one.
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"Unfortunately I am still under the obligation of an NDA and cannot discuss it."
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This is an actual strategy that people use (especially in tech, engineering, and trades), and yes it does work
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I'm sorry I can't say, I signed an NDA.
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Just say you took a sabbatical
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I prefer "no, I signed an NDA"
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"You don't have the clearance for that"
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Time dilatation.
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Interviewer: Are you suggesting that you left your previous employer at a substantial percentage of the speed of light to only slow down and arrive here at this very moment?
Candidate: I remember it like it was yesterday.
Interviewer: ::hasty note-taking noises::
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Sandevistan goes brrr
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Boy, that career pivot to an Arasaka lap-dog would be kind of rough though:
Employee Eval Form
- Does the employee achieve their tasks on time, and under budget?
[ ] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [ ] Often [x] Always- Does the employee pay attention to details?
[x] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [ ] Often [ ] Always...
- Does the employee exhibit signs of cyberpsychosis on the job?
[ ] Never [ ] Rarely [ ] Sometimes [x] Often [ ] Always
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I once again prostate myself before the orphan crushing machine in hopes of achieving food that I too can not only see and smell but taste. I know not what I did to bring it's ire but I will do anything you wish to stop it's gaze HR Lord, is it yet MORE compliance? the MOST correct way?
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Yes.
Can you explain why it's any of your goddamn business?
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In only put years on my resume.
That way you can have an 11 month gap, while the dates still line up.
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I have a 3.5 year gap on mine and used to dread this question. It came up during a second or third interview with a previous employer and the dread left as I answered honestly:
I was married to someone that was fortunate enough to have a lot of wealth and I didn't need to work. During this time we traveled a good bit and I went back to school for a stint to study music theory. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything in the world but, alas, the marriage didn't work out and I had to go back to work. When reviewing my options I found a renewed sense of purpose in my career that transcends a simple means to pay my bills. I am very blessed to have had these opportunities and wish everyone was as fortunate.
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“Soooooo…., you were making it as a scrub, is that correct?”
fixes glasses
-Long Pause-
-Some Staring-
holds out fist to bump
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Just tell them you were doing handyman/freelance stuff in-between 'official' employment.
'fixing/making XYZ things for friends/neighbors while looking for permanent employment'
You look good for not sitting on your ass during that time and get somewhat of a hand waive pad over that time. If they ask for records, tell them that because it was unofficial, under-the-table work, there's no good records. They're just trying to fill a position, they won't follow up on insignificant data or goose-chases.
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"Oh that? That was when I was renting a derelict building adjacent to s bank so I could tunnel into its vault and rob it at night."
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The more I don't get hired because of that gap, the more the gap grows. I can't get a job because I don't have experience because I can't get a job because I don't have experience because i can't get a job because I don't have experience...
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Felt like doing fuck all. Did fuck all. Need money again.
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I was taking a breather, goddamn.
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I got asked this about the time period from 2020-mid2021. And for some reason they needed to hear whether or not I was seeking work while out of work due to a global pandemic.
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Even Arizona wasn't requiring you to seek work to claim unemployment during that time... Yes, I milked the state for all I could, got to spend time with my kids, wouldn't change a thing.
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We'll all fondly miss that time.
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honestly don't think employers or anyone else ask that question anymore. But if they did, just tell them you got a windfall and went on vacation for awhile.
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I was hiding from the police.
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"The resume is accurate"
51 comments
I always go with "I was caring for a sick relative, some things are more important than work or money" its a good way to suss out the companies priorities too, regarding the employees
My biggest resume gap was a 6 month gap. I was laid off (technically "my position was eliminated") and immediately started looking, but opportunities were slim.
I knew the gap may not look good, even if I was searching the whole time, so I enrolled in a few classes at the local community college when the new semester began.
As it happened, a few weeks after my layoff, my grandfather fell ill as well and it turned out to be a relief for the whole family that I was able to pull the overnight shifts caring for him at my grandparents' home in the last month and a half of his life.
Though my stretch of unemployment lasted long after he passed, the few times I've been asked about this gap in an interview, my response has usually been "I was caring for my dying grandfather" with no elaboration.
At that point, the majority of interviews who asked either let it go and move on or express sympathy and continue. The one interview I've been in where that wasn't enough and they tried to get into specifics, I wrote off that position mentally in that moment and it was just going through the motions until I could get out of there. I figured any place that would pry for details in that situation to see if they felt it was justified was the type of place that would feel justified prying into my private life if I were employed there.
Good answer, because whoever interviewed you probably won’t ask that question to someone else now.
Give an answer that casts just a little bit of tension into the room, just enough to make the interviewer question what the hell they hoped to learn from asking it.
It still comes down to if your company is made of people or lizards.
Recruiters can take your answer as "this person has sick elderly relatives, who are surely not going to get any better during his employment".
If they are people, they will respect you.
If they are lizards, then you are better off not working there in the first place.
This assumes the relatives are still alive. Also this question seems to only be asked in a country that has also not a functional health care system. Probably because you don't have any really employee protection laws either.