2y ago

How do you eat croissants without getting crumbs everywhere?

What’s your method for doing it? FYI, here’s a suggested method.

52 comments

Dunk it in water, squeeze it into a tight ball, and take bites like it's an apple.
- I'm not sure if I should upvote this or downvote this...
  
  You angrily upvote it for being technically correct and then sneer while downvoting for being a crime against both humanity and nature.
  
  Angry upvote?
  
  Seriously. At least use milk.
- You sir belong in hell
A plate
- I prefer to call it a "Platform for Lateral Accumulation of Trace Eatables"
  
  Or a PFLAOTE for short!
Use a plate to catch any crumbs.
- You just blew my mind.
- Or a plastic bag.
  (NB, do not put a plastic bag over your head. Even for a croissant)
  
  Well, if you can loop one handle around your neck and keep the bag safely under your chin, you should be alright.
If you don't want flakes, don't eat a flaky pastry.
Eat them outside walking to work.
- This comment was made by a bird. Likely a pigeon. We are looking into it.
  
  Coo
- Awesome idea! And maybe you leave a trail of crumbs for birds :)
  
  Or in case you need to find your way home again!
  
  Good way to make friends with crows / ravens. Then they adopt you and maybe defend you if you get in a fight.
All in one bite.
Eat it in one bite
...a plate?
It’s supposed to be flaky, stop complaining
- Okay, anything else?
I stick a vacuum hose up my shirt and zip tie it around my neck so that it catches any loose flakes so that I may eat them later.
The article’s suggestion of “tear and spread” is what I was going to suggest.
I like to peel each layer off and eat them one at a time while I work
- D:
This article sounds like the result of assigning a middle school student to write an instructional essay with a required word length. The middle school student asked chat GPT for help.
- This shit probably makes up over 50% of the internet by now.
I don't 👍
You have to create a vacuuming of air with every bite. Just do strong, deep inhales while biting, ripping, and tearing, prior to the chewing. The crumbs will all be sucked inward towards your mouth and lungs, and you won't have any problems
Soak them in Nutella
I avoid moving around while eating it, eat it over a plate/napkin, and then brush the flakes off into the trash. Eating them when they're warm/moist also helps.
Enjoy your pastry
I put it in a brown paper lunch baggie and eat it from the top so the bag catches the crumbs… for the most part!
Lots of people have already tried to answer this but I've not seen the correct answer: in bed
Eat it all in one bite.
I flatten them on the plate with my hand and then put the jelly on top of it, similar to bread/sandwich.
Way easier to eat, but don't tell the French :)
- It’s all getting flattened by your intestines anyways :D
- Sorry, you put jam on croissants? Surely ham and cheese is the only option
Simply get bad croissants that aren't flaky and leave crumbs everywhere. Like what you'd get from a gas station or rest stop vending machine.
I always eat messy things by leaning over my plate, or carefully taking bites above a bag or whatever. I like being fastidious.
- My stomach gets in the way.
I bite into the widest part of the middle first, then I peel the layers apart individually and eat them with a fork and knife.
Why would you want to? The more crumbs that drop everywhere, the better it tastes! Just like eating hot wings is best when the sauce gets all over your entire face. If you can get some sauce on your forehead then that's a damned fine wing meal!
It's not possible. That's like trying to eat a powdered donut and not get the sugar everywhere.
Just pick it up and eat it like a donut, basically no crumbs.
You don't need to add any toppings to them
- Hmm no, I don’t recommend! That’s a one way ticket to crumbtopia! I don’t want to downvote you, but I am so so compelled to. I’ll resist, for now..

52 comments