You know - the only thing you can really control at all is yourself. So it can be true that the world sucks, but making yourself suck is not going to do anything except hurt you, yourself. And make the world a little bit suckier.
So regardless of the outside circumstances, the best action is always to work on yourself. Generally speaking that does make you look differently at your circumstances too, so that you might be able to improve your situation with some action but even if those circumstances don't change you are still better equipped to deal with them.
Damn. I know the community tab here says I'm not suppose to agree with anon, but damn, I have to
This was a test. You failed.
And by that, I mean you passed.
You... bothered to read the rules... in a 4chan focused community?
Yes
This tab seems to be written for the mod to deflect accusation of supporting the Lemmy-unapproved dark sides of 4chan that may come up in green texts.
I mean, there's nothing wrong with improving yourself for the sake of improving yourself.
But what if you improve yourself and then become a better person for nothing? :P
Then you'll be more valuable to your corporate masters. Everybody wins!
Surprise, surprise, you reached Nirvana.
Robots arms it is
I would even say don't worry too much about self-improvement. It's a vague concept that encourages you to be perpetually dissatisfied (possibly to sell you stuff).
You can always be satisfied with who you are. Remember how Mr. Rogers likes you just the way you are? You can extend that kindness to yourself. Once you've done that, then you are in the right headspace to lose some weight or improve your income or whatever.
I agree, in that âself improvementâ is a fairly nebulous concept and acceptance of the self is a positive trait, but they should probably still look to improve themselves. Exercise, volunteer, pick up a hobby outside the house, cut off your toxic community and find another, etc.. Volunteering and community tend to go together, from my experience, so Iâd start there.
I like the idea of self-improvement in the sense of becoming even more yourself. I believe there is some kind of path(s) in each of us. It takes effort to recognise it â you can say: accept it â and even more to actually pursue it filtering out from the external noise all influences that do not fit. We all have ideas, dreams and wishes, but we have to listen carefully to hear them.
Isn't self-acceptance considered self-improvement?
Very well said.
Love from others comes after a love of self.
Incels hasn't been about that in a long time. It's already evolved into "self-improvement" by adopting far-right extremist ideology. In particular that of being a hyper-masculine bigotted conservative man. Their underlying theory of world is still the same. Love is fake and women cheat and leave you taking all your money unless you become the strong man chad and dominate her. Instead of the pit of self loathing based on the premise that everyone is out to get you. You become the biggest alpha over every other guy. Fundamentally the ideology is the flip side of the same coin. It's a very dark misanthropic view of the world.
It's surely been some sort of cult brainwashing. Tear guys down with crab bucket mentality. Then build them up according to their doctrine.
Seems like a good time to bring up that I just created !DIYMentalHealth@lemmy.dbzer0.com.
The same is true on a political level which is a crab bucket when they tell you that things can't improve and that you shouldn't even have any hopes.
Whenever thereâs a post about a protest, or a politician actually works to block a Trump bill, thereâs always someone who pops into the comments to go âiT wOnâT cHaNgE aNyThInG.â
Itâs pretty clear whoâs never taken any sort of political action before in their lives. Those that participate in activism know that change doesnât happen in one big event, but momentum snowballs over time. Discouraging people who put effort into change only works to empower those who oppress us.
"Misery loves company."
Stephen King's Misery 2
If anyone hasn't seen Femcel spaces, you could always go and browse reddit.com/r/femaledatingstrategy
It's about the same as incel shit really. You'd think it would get banned like incel stuff is, but it's tolerated because men are not a protected class.
Which is why the Lemmy equivalent has banned that type of thinking/posts.
thinking is overrated anyways
I mean, so unreal and non hetero.
Anon didn't even suggest incels and femcels trade virginity
Jon Arbuckle dances to the lyric "I'll either live or die alone".
Banger!
Actually, Jon scores 2 by the time The Survey is conducted.
Link is NSFL. Seriously.
why label and tribalism. just be you and do you things and if that intersects with someone else or not, who cares, you're just you as your true self. Leaving that space to find someone is silly nonsense that probably won't work out well because that person is not the real you. Pursue your curiosities until it takes you to your happy place
Idk, if "doing you" means never leaving home, you're not getting chances to actually find someone that you intersect with. You do need to make a conscious effort to put yourself out there so you have those chances, and you should put some effort into improving your confidence to maximize your chances. Don't change who you are to please someone, but do shower and put on a clean shirt.
Not really the point of what I am saying. I am speaking for the other person too without bias or assumptions and I am not pushing anyone to conform to some stereotype. If you're happy wearing dirty shirts, not showering, and staying at home, that is perfectly valid. You can and should just be yourself. If you feel the need to be someone else or wear any mask of assumption or conformity, you're potentially hurting someone else and offering a fake version of yourself. If you're lonely, pursue your curiosity in spaces where other people interact. Don't just go to where you might find people. You do not exist in that space; that is not you. On a subtle non obvious level, going to a space for not you reasons like this is predatory.
I am actually saying, you're allowed to be happy or content with whatever state of self awareness and intelligent engagement you push yourself to achieve. The pursuit of raw self motivated curiosity is the only way to expand self awareness from within and grow. When motivated purely from within one's self, one will eventually achieve one's true potential while being true to self.
No one deserves to partner with someone that later never showers and never leaves the house after they remove the mask of their true self.
So you see, I'm saying the same thing but with the nuance of the best interests of all parties involved. Don't tell people to conform to combat loneliness. Make an attempt to inspire their curiosity and self growth if you feel like you've spotted some inadequacy, but ultimately let them be themselves so that they are not masking to hurt someone else.
Relationships certainly can and do change people, but let those that want to change someone find their query in the true depths of the coal mine if they choose lest they unwittingly find themselves on an impossible journey to the center of the Earth.
Goddamn right, Bob.
Based anon
