Hey Lemmy! Who ya voting for to be the new pope?
Hey Lemmy! Who ya voting for to be the new pope?
I'm going with Danny Devito! That fuck would straighten out the church. He got good morals. He just a nice guy. What about you?
I thought the crowd favorite would've been Luigi, though I have no idea what the requirements are for being elected Pope.
Vermin Supreme.
Satan. I'm pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.
If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.
Accountability.
John Mastodon
Thomas Ladder, the guy who invented that thing
I think we should reelect Francis.
No no no. You aren't allowed to elect dead popes, just prosecute them.
The pope goes by AD&D druid rules. The new pope is the guy who killed the previous pope.
So it's J D Vance.
Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.
I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it's possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.
The pope elections always last long cause every man always votes for himself. Just like the pirate king of brethren court
The Gang Bankrupts The Vatican
theme song
"I'm not going to lead mass. Leading mass is Charlie Work!"
Cue Musk with his lottery for votes.
I'd vote for Elon Musk as Popeking of Catholicism.
The same way Elon "improved" Twitter and the US Government, I would love it if he did the same for the Catholics.
Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.
Can't
Adam Savage
Donald Glover
I don't know much about him, but he's always seemed super cool. I'm down with a cool pope.
He didn't get to be Spider-Man when it was age-appropriate and people were buzzing about the idea. I feel like Pope is a good consolation prize.
Screw it, I'll be the pope if that means I can release the records on their pedo priest protection program.
The Archbishop of Kabul
I see what you did there.
I vote for whomever Francis had on mind (hopefully he discussed that before passing).
There's little chance of getting someone as decent as him.
Yes he had one candidate, if I understand correctly: Luis Antonio Tagle. He has a vision of a church adjacent to the poor and the working population in general though he seems regressive on LGBTQ. But going by the sign of times, it'll probably be Raymond Burke. I suppose Vance visited the Vatikan to pave his way.
Personally I concur Danny DeVito would totally be the man for the job. He would gonna get real weird with it and he certainly doesn't diddle kids.
John Oliver
Robert Smith of the Cure.
that'd be badass.
+1
Well he did defeat Mecha Streisand.
"You're the pope?? I didn't vote for you..."
- Benjamin Franklin, probably. Or whoever it was that said "Not everything quoted on the internet is real"
Honestly I don't care (well, beyond making this
popepost), as I am not catholic. I am technically a protestant by heritage, but the truth is that I find even the term "agnostic" to be too religiously loaded to the point where I usually refer to myself as areligious instead.As for the pope. Well, he's... there.. well, not right now. But he will be soon-ish. I'll just accept whoevers named announced while venting smoke from the cardinal thunderdome as being the new pope. And then he'll be there again.
Beyond that, he doesn't affect my life in any way. Nor do I affect his life in any way. Unless he accepts my challenge to an offroad and uphill car race. Yes, he's gonna have to drive the popemobile himself for this. I'll be driving my new AWD Lolvo. I'm sure it'll be fun for anyone involved, no matter who wins.
But having said all of that: I think Robbie Coltrane would do well as a pope.
Deadmau5.
The tapes of some of these Catholic hymns are getting kinda worn- let's get some fresh beats to liven things up. And a laser lightshow in St Peter's Basilica would help appeal to the "hip youths" ensuring a continued Catholic hegemony for the next century.
Lucien Greaves
Bernie Sanders. Christianity spun out of a Jewish apocalyptic sect, so why not, in some very small part, bring it back toward its roots?
Gilbert Gottfried
Resurrected harambe
Bill Burr would be pretty funny I think
There's been some great ideas here, but I like yours the best.
Bill Burr complaining about being forced to be the pope would be amazing.
I am nominating myself, being as I am a Discordian Pope.
Idris Elba
Fuck off with that Danny devito crap. No one but Americans like that dude, and you've seen how utterly brain-dead America is.
Damn I've never seen a Danny Devito hater. Welp I hope one day you are able to experience the joy of his Holiness Danny Devito the Pope.
I like him, so we're up to America + this one guy
Weird Al
I think Bill Maher should put his name in the hat. I know he's atheist, but he got on his knees for Trump, so maybe he's willing to give Jesus a fresh look.
Eckhart Tolle. I personally think he has a neurological disorder but he'd make life better.
Roman, probably. Maybe Kendall.
Justin Trudeau
420 Blaze It
Pope Ringo George