Are there any Lemmy/Mbin instances by women for women?

Community-wise there’s !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al

unfortunately I think this is the current answer, at least on Lemmy.
- unfortunately?

lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it's not a "women's space" as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it's probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance "by women for women". I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.

Good.
spinster exists but I think its the opposite where its antitrans
- We all pretend that it didn't exist and do not acknowledge its presence; that's the informal rule.
- Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it's less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.
- The admin behind it is also a man so its for (some) women by a man. Literally the opposite.
- I thought that was mastodon. Do they have a lemmy instance as well?
As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.
- They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.

Lemmy has an undeniable woman problem that it carried over from Reddit. I've lost count of the number of pathetic blokes that I have blocked on here for anti feminism.

yep it's pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there's dozens of comments saying "what about the men" and completely missing the point
- https://xkcd.com/322/
- The response to "what about men" comments is, we're already talking about men when we talk about misogyny. Misandry and misogyny are the exact same problem, strictly enforced gender roles. If you deviate, you are punished. The men that are caregivers are derided just like the women that refuse to rear children. Every other related paradigm punches down into the people who do not conform. Stoicism in men, histrionics in women.
  Either is a foil for the other and it's exactly the same bullshit.
- What about the me
- As a guy, I do recognise that men are disadvantaged in many areas and need to be put on equal footing with women-- like courts disproportionately award custody of children to mothers, regardless of how unfit the mother is to be a caregiver. But broadly speaking from my pespective, women are still at more disadvantage. I used to live in a bad part of my city for many years and have had little to no issues. However, it is a different story from women I spoke who got harrased, and another hit on the head. They said they will avoid going to the city ever again. I remember sharing the accounts of these women to other men, and the men were surprised because their experience is the complete opposite. Women are still seen as weak. And in the corporate hierarchy, men (of tall statures) disproportionately make up the board of directors and executive roles.
- What about them
EDIT: Look at the responses to this comment for the proof.
100%
It’s really bad and lemmy is really in denial.
Sexism here is much worse than it was on Reddit.
It feels like 2008 Reddit here sexism wise, except instead of Ron Paul libertarians tooting their horns everywhere we have heavy tracked vehicle enthusiasts.
I did hope lemmy having a left leaning culture would help but it does not.
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “everyone has that why think about women” or “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
- Oh yea? One time I got kicked in the balls and it kinda hurt. Women have it soooo easy.
- you mean the comments that have been downvoted to the bottom?
- Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
  that's kind of just how controversial things are on the internet though.
  Evens shitposting from men will get similar responses from women, it's just how it is now. Sort of always has been.
- Some instances have a left-leaning culture. Lemmy.world definitively does not.

Youre absolutely welcome to join Blahaj zone. Our wonderful administration team (both of whom are women) bans misogyny whenever it comes around to our communities. The mods for our main communities share a very aggressive moderation policy.

also our wonderful admin kaity did what the lemmy devs couldn't and nuked the dm spam :)
- It really seems like instance admins tend to do a much better job with a lot of stuff on here than the core devs. Its a shame that forking would take as much work as it would.
As much as I appreciate the community and users, there are (or at least were) serious moderation problems on Blahaj, I did not feel safe there when I tried it a year or two ago.
- I definitely cannot agree. I encourage anyone who has any issues with moderation to make a post in the Blahaj meta community. Ada and Kaity have been spectacular and have responded to every issue I have come across. There are limits, they can't preemptively prevent any kind of moderation issue but they respond quickly.

This seems like a very good niche for someone willing to do it. Problematic accounts could get a site-wide ban instead of each woman having to ban someone herself.

Niche? Bruh, they're half of the population lmao
- Unfortunately it is niche right now in the fediverse based on the stats. That could change but probably requires a different approach to achieve.
- I would guess that most women wouldn't feel the need to be on a woman-focused Lemmy instance for their main / only account. But, some might want an alt account to discuss certain things there.
- we all know there's currently only 1 chick in the fediverse
- I don't know of any "men only" instances, the fact that it's gender-specific is niche rather than the specific gender.
- Zero women have tried to make one so far regardless of how many would use a new instance. So it can't be all that in demand.
  I think it naturally would occur if Lemmy grows in size. There's not many people here to begin with.
- It's not niche being a woman obviously. What's niche is having a community exclude 50% of the population. Nothing wrong with it, but it is niche.
this is a bit of how Blahaj works as I understand it, so it's a good model - if anything I would think Blahaj might already be poised for this kind of instance-level protection of women
EDIT:
one of the Blahaj guidelines does include removing bigotry, including sexism, and would be a candidate for a safe space for women:
Inclusion and Acceptance
Embracing inclusion and acceptance means listening when people tell you who they are and what their needs are. It means not telling people that you know their experiences better than they do. It means not gatekeeping experiences of identities of others. It means no bigotry such as racism, sexism, anti LGBT commentary, ableism etc. It means doing your best to ensure that you don’t over-talk the voices of folk who don’t share your privileges.
That said, the women spaces on Blahaj are mostly for trans women, so a more general women's community would be nice.
Lemmy needs block lists users can subscribe to like they can on BlueSky, it would make a huge difference imo.

But like what even is a social media for women? I wasn't aware the ones we currently have were for men

reddit has /r/TwoXChromosomes which is one of my favorite subs. It's a general womens subreddit, and though it obviously leans feminist it's not its main purpose. It welcomes all genders, but remains a womens space.
The fediverse could really use that energy.
- There's also /r/WitchesVsPatriarchy which is also very strictly woman-centered.
- Yeah but thats a subreddit not REDDIT itself, you can similarly start a /c/TwoX on just about any Lemmy instance.
- We used to have an equivalent on our instance, but it was constantly flooded with reply-bros and trans people complaining about the name, so we archived it as no women was willing to moderate it (for understandable reasons).
- I wondered if they made the jump over here. Guess not, sadly. Reading that sub has made me a better man, because it offers some pretty harsh critiques of male behavior.
Its all technically ran by trans women which is mildly interesting, like the mods of 2x and the others on reddit and here I think
- on reddit every female sub is ran by the same woman

Depends. You looking for a woman's space...or a terf space?

I definitely think it should be an inclusive, not exclusive space
- blahaj.zone is a great one I've found. Extremely inclusive, brooks absolutely no bullshit from bad faith actors.
  Is also very very queer tho JSYK
- Either can describe a bar that throws out Nazis or a Nazi bar, depending on perspective.

its kinda sad how one of the biggest women’s community on the lemmy/mbin side of fedi is !femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone…

i mean, it’s a great community, but yea.

There seems to be a majority of males even in that community though
- every femcel community gets invaded by guys at some point. see: r/letgirlshavefun and r/femcelgrippysockjail. theres one that went private and thats keeping out the men really well (and is the only community im still on reddit for)
- Idk the majority of posters there are transfems afaik, with a smattering of femboys posting as well.
- Are you talking about browsers/commentors? Cause almost all the prolific posters are women, unless you're being transphobic
Hahaha the name doesn't do it justice tbh, *cel has connotations that femcelmemes really just doesn't have

The comments here make me very disappointed in our little corner of the internet. If anyone wants this but doesn’t know how, neither do I but I’d be happy help.

I am disappointed but not surprised. The attitude of men here reminds me a lot of default subs in Reddit. People tend to be more civil, but there is so much "but what about men?" when talking about women's issues or belittling women still. Business as usual on the Internet, but I can see why it would cause women to avoid Lemmy.
I haven't been back to Reddit, but it makes me miss the small niches where I didn't see that as often.
- I've said it many times before and I'll say it again, gender relations here are worse than they were on reddit when I stopped using it.
- womans only spaces (popping up because of male dominated spaces) do lead to male only spaces but who cares, ppl that want to be in those spaces can stay there idrc, they dont want my input I dont want theirs
Call it out when you see it. Keep the bar nazi free.
There's !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
I think there’s a few tutorials about how to set up your own lemmy instance. If so compelled; go for it! If you have any sort of IT background it’ll probably be pretty easy.

Pardon my ignorance but what would be the point of that? You can sign up on any instance and participate in any women's communities. It's not like there's any way to verify the user's gender anyway.

A community like that would hopefully ban misogynists who go unbanned on other communities.
- "Community" is the operative word there. OP is asking about an instance.
Local feed I guess. I wouldn't trade my french local feed to another despite the abillity to subscribe to the community that made it.
- our local french feed 🤝
- Local feed is one of the best parts of Lemmy conceptually and a very clear indicator that the intended behaviour for users is to sign up to smaller insurances related to their location or otherwise significant individual interests.
- Couldn't you sign up on another instance and still subscribe to all the same communities?
with enough admin and moderation you could circle jerk your way into a "woman positive" or "woman friendly space" which would be the idea.

beehaw.org aspire to be nice, friendly diverse and safe. But they're more towards nice, not women. And we have lemmy.blahaj.zone for queer folks. To my knowledge, there isn't a place aimed towards women. Maybe heehaw is the closest... Still not really a fit.

You could go ahead and also ask in some of the women communities, see how they get along here on the Fediverse.

Beehaw.org is nice, Heehaw.org is the closest, Hoohaw.org is the promised land

Lemmy,blahaj,zone is run by Ada, who is a woman

I want there to be a witchesvspatreiarchy here, but I'm a dude and it'd be messed up if I started it.

There's a couple of them, I think.
I found this one:
https://lemmy.ca/c/witchesvspatriarchy
Edit: Better link:
!witchesvspatriarchy@lemmy.ca
Thanks!
- !witchesvspatriarchy@lemmy.ca
  instance friendly link for those on other instances :)
- Honestly chuckled a bit after checking out the front page and pretty much all posts were about.. men
  But that (making fun of men) might just be the idea behind that subreddit and I'm looking at it wrong
  EDIT: I dun goofed
- Thanks! I was looking for witchesvsTHEpatriarchy for some reason.
  Subbed.
- Mod of that community here! Please come join the coven, we're always welcoming like-minded people!

This idea is pretty cool, i hope they will succeed to achieve that. Imo, we lack diversity on the forumverse except maybe mastodon.

It would provide an additional security layer, another governance. They could also benefit a lot from local community and can check vote, email, ip...Other have already mentionned good example with blahaj, beehaw...

On the other hand, it will render the instance more visible.

On my main instance, jlai.lu, i think we don't manage well sexist speech. They are moderated, we do our best to explain to our users what's wrong and slowly change them but we don't have the same sensibility as women.

Men explaining women...So we probably missed lot things.

Create one!

Not a woman.
- Become one /j
Speaking in general: Creating communities/instances is easy. Moderating them is hard.
In particular: I would love to create women's spaces. But then I'd have to be on the lookout for the Knights of the True Fedora. They're out there. Somewhere. Now now, I'm not suggesting it'd be a daily problem! ...But the actual daily problems (regular spam and whatnot) would suck too.
- I'm in charge of !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al I've got to say the vast majority of men have been fantastically supportive! Odd comment and spite downvote but it's manageable

hexbear is heavily transfem and bans aggressively for misogyny/transphobia. Spending some time there when their recent domain crisis defederated from the rest of Lemmy was actually quite relaxing

unless you have an external opinion, in which case they fucking lynch you.
- that external opinion is usually either bigotry or supporting US empire from my experience. Other Lemmy spaces are just as likely to ban for wrongthink ie: not being pro genocide or whatever war libs are supporting this time.
You are right, but a lot of people want to avoid politics.

Like women only or hosted by women? Based on the selfhosted poll I’m guessing these is a 5% there is.

Not women only but women centric and with additional moderation protection. And yeah, I'd also say that women should administer and moderate such an instance.
Both of them
- I feel discriminated

it's called pinterest

Edit:

PS: Ok so it looks like people here are just as bad as redditors. I was answering the question in the Reddit caption of this post. Pinterest has been known to be an alternative to Reddit (as a link aggregator) which attracts women a lot more than men.

This is a KNOWN thing, check this 10 year old article from the people managing Pinterest stating as much

https://www.thestreet.com/technology/why-pinterest-wants-more-men-and-how-it-plans-to-get-them-13101082

Of course women are welcome here, there is no question about it. Does it matter if there is an instance for women? I don't even know, I know women who love stereotypical male stuff and vice versa. I assume anyone, male, female or anything in the spectrum, can browse around and collate their favorite subs

Not funny, not ok. Women are just as welcome here as anyone else and your comment is exactly why they are asking. “It’s a joke” - nope don’t even. Be better than this.
- it wasn't a joke
  pinterest is an link aggregator just like reddit and geared towards women
  of course women are welcomed here, no clue how you get otherwise from my comment
  https://www.youthsense.com.au/youth-insights/men-are-from-reddit-women-are-from-pinterest/
- You need to calm down

Even if not, you can create one :3

I'm not a woman
- Even if not, you can become one :3

Community wise we have !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al its a women only community by women for women.

how would they stop men from participating?

Why should they want to do that? That's not how most sites for women work!
I don't see a reason to deny men from participating.
Blahaj.zone is an instance aimed at queer people, but it doesn't have to prevent non-queer people from participating. I would imagine an instance aimed at women to be similar.
Just make it obvious that it's meant for women and most men will exclude themselves
ban the rowdy ones lmao

People who cover their drinks when you're around.
- Everyone is a woman on this blessed day!
- i don't go to bars or anything, so i guess everyone is a man?
AcnCnafnafnafnwtn
You don’t know what a woman is? Or is this some kind of attempt at trolling?

Lemmy is aimed at pleasing all of humanity.

Asking for a women-centric flavor of any site is parallel to asking for a version with less men. If you're implying there is a difference to the interests of both, I'd love to show you the Grey's Anatomy sub.

i mean, i don't see anything necessarily wrong with it though.
It's like making a linux specific lemmy instance, or an anarchist focused lemmy instance (the one im on)
it might go against the principles of lemmy, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it.
I think there are differences in the interests of both. Can you explain your argument here, without super obscure references?
- We just shouldn't consider either gender's interests as stereotypes. Also, if a community becomes one or the other "centric", then on some level, it's exclusionary.
Neigh, Lemmy is aimed at pleasing all the world.
I am species blind. Asking for a species-centric flavor of any site is parallel to asking for a version with less horses. If you're implying there is a difference to the interests of both, I'd love to show you equestrian sports.
There is literally nothing different between any species, gender, or even a rock. Women, Men. Heck 1 + 1 = 3. Everything is exactly the same. It's a soup of protons. It's all the same!

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

It really comes down to this: if you want your own space for particular interests, you should create one and find likeminded people to populate it. Just waiting for it to magically appear isn’t going to work. Be assertive.

This was just a post to see if there already is something like described

TW: crude and insensitive joke (hopefully the spoiler tag works lol)

ETA: lemme know if you need this taken down. Sometimes the intrusive thoughts win

!It's funny, blahaj.zone is full of pussies, and .ml is full of cunts, and yet there's no dedicated space for women!<

spoiler tag didnt appear to work, but this indeed is very stupid and funny.
- NGL I almost deleted it this morning, glad it made you giggle

almost all the subs that "are women" are basically astroturfed by men, or some of them are male users posting as a "woman"

The femcel channel need more people if you like that type of humor