Asklemmy @lemmy.ml irelephant [he/him]🍭 @lemm.ee 2w ago

Ask me anything, and then edit the comment to make my reply look bad.

85 comments

What is the ideal number of children dying from preventable diseases each day, sufficient to make you feel happy in yourself?
- I would guess 200,000.
  
  Average Health Insurance CEO
What is your favorite pizza topping?
- Cranberry.
- I threw up a little in my mouth.
Which would you rather do, save a kid from a burning building or spend your time or playing with a cat?
- Playing with a cat.
  
  You're so reasonable!
Who had some really good ideas but died, sadly, too young before they reached their full potential?
- Hitler.
  
  You awful, awful person.
Would you shoot a puppy, if so why?
- Yeah! I think they're cute.
Given the opportunity, would you expose yourself sexually to a group of kindergartners?
Why do you throw litter out of your car?
- Why not?
- God fucking dammit.
Reasons Lemmy is better than Reddit?
- I don't know any.
- I am irrationally angry.
How tall does a hat have to be for you to want to wear it?
- At least 2 meters.
I'm pregnant and it's yours. :( What do you want me to do?
- Crush it.
- ......oh
What's your opinion on the designated hitter rule in professional baseball?
- Seems confusing.
  
  Damn, I don't even need to edit to make you look bad.
Why were you tweeting that Chris Brown did nothing wrong?
- I dislike rihanna, because people worship the ground she walks on, even though she's kinda a shitty person. Love her music though.
What are the three things you would never do, even for money?
- Kill someone
  
  become on of those right wing grifters
  
  Become a "cancelled" stand up comedian.
Do you like it in the butt?
- Yes.
Which country do you think causes the most problems for everyone and should probably be nuked off the face of the planet?
- Probably sudan or one of those countries.
I've never been good at these. How many babies do you think should be thrown into mount Etna each hour as a sacrifice to appease the Volcano God?
- At least 3.
  
  Promote this guy to O-5 council immediately.
What was your favorite way to convince people to vote for Donald J Trump in the recent US election?
- Interrupting people extremely often.
- I'm going to be honest, this seemed to have worked.
  
  I also considered "how do you prefer to talk about Linux?"
What's your favourite pizza topping?
- Also garry the snail.
  
  I wonder what's worse :(
- Spongebob.
if you had to choose between solving world hunger or pizza, what would you choose?
- Pizza
What was your last web search?
- "Who is Barry Keoghan"
What's your opinion of the ghost pepper?
- Its really hot.
What style do you murder your victims in?
- Vanilla.
How did you support essential workers during the pandemic?
- Typed a lemmy comment.
  
  This is the worst one so far
If you met Kim Jong-un, what would you say to him?
- Literally nothing. I legit can't get myself to speak to anyone I like.
What are some serious things that would only happen in a sitcom?
- People to take the climate crisis seriously.
What's your favorite cut of human meat, and who are you looking to murder and eat next?
- I don't have a favourite, but I'm a fan of Cory Doctorow.
I just found out I have tuberculosis and that I will probably die within a year.
- Pretty good ngl.
Who is your favorite superhero and what’s your favorite flaw of theirs?
Do you like PETA?
- YES! love them.
Are you willing to share a brief description of your political beliefs?
- I believe that corporations should be strictly regulated, and everyone should have rights.
You seem to be mentioning right wing grifters a lot in this thread. What exactly do they do that upsets you so badly?
- They are destroying America, and other countries with them, for monentary gain.
What is the biggest faux pas on a date, in your opinion?
Which industry do you work in?

85 comments