You've just crossed over into...

Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a [indecipherable], but you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about the Scary Door.
Robot, experience this tragic irony for me.
- "Nooooooooo!"
  (sips beer) Ahh!
Did you do this from memory? I want you to have done this from memory. You will be as a god!
I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all!
- Turns out it's mankind

Took me a second. Can relate.

"Where do you want to eat?" "Anywhere is fine with me. You pick." "How about burgers." "No, I don't want burgers tonight." "How about..." "No. Not there." "Okay, you choose." "I don't want to choose."

Not sure what went wrong or right in my marriage but I can't relate to these common tropes at all. Maybe it's a difference in culture (I'm not from the US), but my wife and I both actively work to find a consensus in any decision no matter how small.
- You're probably not in the boomer generation:
  
  They have this 'I hate my wife' trope in their humor for some reason.
- Yeah I’ve never really understood the “my SPOUSE am I right?” bits. That’s your spouse. You ought to…work on that.
- You married a man. /s
  In all seriousness. I have a happy marriage. We're awesome at communication and never argue. But things get indescivie during take out. It just happens.
- Exactly this. My wife and I work together, like the adults we are. Just be honest with each other.
After my wife heard a similar complain and we guessed that what they want is us being able to figure out their taste and preference, she now says: "CHOOSE MERE MORTAL YOUR FATE, know my heart's desire wisely or perish"
Or something along those lines. She's a Ghostbuster's fan if you can tell.
- I wanna marry your wife.
I gave up playing this game.
"You hungry? 'Yes.' OK I'm craving burgers from X place I'm ordering two burgers in 30 minutes unless you tell me you want something else."
So far it's working well. Either she orders from where I want or somewhere close by.
'I'm feeling Chinese.' Baby you can get whatever you want. I'll hit two spots or switch my order.
I’ve allayed liked that the idea that if you say no to a suggestion in this situation, it is now your turn to suggest something.
It took a couple years to get my wife to be more assertive about this stuff. I'd just keep picking places I knew she hated until she'd make a decision.
Just the other day she turned it around on me. Asked me which of two options I wanted, I said whichever she feels like and she came back with, "No, I want to know what you want." So I laughed and gave her my preference.
My wife and I always give each other 2-3 options and take turns narrowing it down. Same with movies: We start out with our Trakt list and take turns narrowing it down until we get something we both want to watch.
Sounds like my wife.

I thought for sure this was a sex joke.

It doesn't have to not be.

I've heard that the trick is to make it a guessing game.

We're going to eat out tonight, but it's a surprise. Guess!

Don't always go with the first option, keep it random between options

You devious genius.
- Oh I know a trick for that one too! Create some kind of pattern to the eating out that includes alternating on deciding a new restaurant without any input. This one works great if you do it intermittently along with the usuals with consensus

Wife bad

Why?
- Saying “[thing] bad” on the internet is a way to ironically point out lazy boomer humor that relies on putting a particular group of people down in an unjustifiable way.

I hopped up and I said

"I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?"

She's like "Why would I want to eat liver?

I don't even like liver!"

I'm like "No, I said 'delivered'"

She's like "I heard you say 'liver!'"

I'm like "I should know what I said."

She's like "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

And I can hear his voice / the song while reading this

Is the joke that he is smoking crack and hallucinating a world where the always stressful question “what dinner?” Is actually easily decided on?

No, the joke is that it’s The Twilight Zone.
- I have never seen the twilight zone but the joke is on the people who downvote me cause “the twilight zone” is exactly the term i would use to describe the limbo feeling between “knowing i will require sustenance soon” and “knowing whats for dinner”
More or less. The man who appears in front of them is the narrator of "The Twilight Zone", who frequently appears to explain that the events of moments earlier are happening in an alternate, impossible, universe.

My wife sent me this unbidden

Meanwhile i'm double-digit hours away from WDW

You’ve lost me. Why wouldn’t I ask my partner what she feels like? Is asking questions not a part of social skills?
Nah, you're just in a relationship with an immature person.
PHP developer detected, fire the missiles
Wow! A real alpha male!
Yeesh. I like talking with my partners, not to.
My gf would get real pissed, real fast if I acted like this and I love her for it.
See, this is why I like my relationships 50-50. We both agree on something and each one pays their own food and we're back at the house bumping uglies. Done.
Where do we find these $resturants?
- GET /Restaurants

            *Oh no!*  
    She's gonna rock  
          down   
           to  
    *ELECTRIC AVENUE*

Great now I gotta go listen to that song again.
Not that I'm complaining but it's in my head now.

These two remind me of AJ and Miranda from the now defunct User Friendly webcomic. On the plus side, it would mean that AJ got his act together enough to be in a relationship with Miranda, but either she's found a new favourite restaurant all of a sudden or he's goofed something up and this is a subtle way of messing with him as revenge.